posted March 15, 2007 05:06 PM            

I have a young Saggie gfriend that was miserable in her marriage and she sought out a friendship with a co-worker that turned into an affiar....She was simply seeking the attention that her husband was not providing at the moment and when she finally realized she was doing nobody any good, she ceased communications with the "friend" and guess who was hurt the most???

The friend.....

posted March 15, 2007 06:00 PM              

Tell her you're attracted, respect that she's married and enjoy her friendship immensely.

She is capable of being "just a friend" and this will clue her in to that fact that she may be flirting as well. -Giving her an opportunity to tone it down.

You may discover a more enriching friendship for both of you.

posted March 15, 2007 06:31 PM              

have you told her why you want to take a break from talking? besides, we sags like to talk but when someone moves in on a - i like you more than a friend - it gets uncomfortable if the thought hadn't crossed our mind. if you want her to take a break from talking to you - tell her how you feel about her. that will do the trick in "taking a break from talking" but i can't guarantee you two will be talking again or that she won't continue talking to you as if you had never told her that you had feelings for her that were more than just a friend but at least, you would feel a lot better because you told her how you felt

posted March 18, 2007 07:15 PM              

Whats your sun sign?

I was in the same situation like you few months ago. It was quiet tormenting not knowing what her feelings were. Was it just my infatuation or something like a connection etc. I used to oscillate between keeping distance and trying to act normal. Its surely is difficult situation. In the end I tried to make up my mind to confront her. I wanted to do that face to face (not sure if I would have been able to do that ), however I spoke her about this on phone. And she said there was nothing from her end.

Though it might have been the right thing to confront her and clear up the matter, I still feel guilty about the whole episode. It’s like falling down in someone’s eyes for me (though she may not disrespect me, however for me I would always think of loosing self respect- Thinking something wrong based on normal interaction n all).
So it was like two edged sword for me. Not opening up was like smoldering the feelings and keep the flame alive; disclosing it was like falling down from a pedestal.

I myself wanted to be away from her due to my feelings for a married person (even before disclosing). Luckily when I confronted her I was away, and I never returned back to that office and switched to a new one. So now the interactions are very rare – just two or three work related (never face to face).

Also due to office thing, I feared if she would disclose this matter in office. She said that she won’t (she did mention that she disclosed it to her husband for feedback of her behavior). Not sure how Sagi’s are in this matter - secrets (Bluetopaz – your inputs please )
Recently I met another colleague of mine and he was enquiring about her. When I said I was not in much touch with her, he commented that ‘you two were quiet close’. So now I am not sure if it was due to matter being out or its just his perception from what he saw from our interactions (which again make me think did she have something more than a normal colleague relation).

Also like hippichick said, you don’t want to get hurt. I always think that if someone wants me, let them come and tell me rather than me opening up (not due to me not wanting show my neediness, just that its more of Pisces passiveness). However in this instance my Aries Venus betrayed me sigh

Take care

posted March 19, 2007 03:12 PM              

I'm a Virgo. My friend is an adult language teacher for adults that have moved to Scandinavian.

We are close. Hugs, kiss on cheeks and long emails. Mostly about her life, her kids and what I find odd she harldy mnetions her husband.

posted March 19, 2007 03:21 PM              

These co-workers know that she is married and I don't want them to start nasty rumors. The other thing is she becomes very angry every time I tried to break contanct.

Anyway, I need to accept the fact that no relationship will ever happen with her. That hurts but hurts even more is loosing my wonderful friend I've found in her.

I've told her my feelings. She didn't say much only that she needs some right now. I am more than happy to give her that. So, I wait.

Any suggestions?

posted March 19, 2007 03:24 PM              

She says that she needs some space.

posted March 19, 2007 04:28 PM              

Is right to assume that all Sag women are like that? What are the chances that she'll come around to talk tome again? I believe she had a Pieces (sp.) by the way.

posted March 19, 2007 08:44 PM              

I don’t know why people misunderstand, however one of the points that come to my mind is –
Sagi women tend to interact more tom-boyishly (as compared to other females). (In my case, it was odd to have her in close proximity/body distance while interacting – comparing to other females. Being a married one, I would expect someone to be bit more careful as compared to single ones.
(maybe being married Sagi’s might lower their guard more, thinking that, everyone knows she is married so she can be carefree)

In fact after discussing about my feelings to her, I also commented to her, that she should take care on how she interacts with others. Then I apologized for the same, as it’s me who misunderstood her interactions. And others have never commented on her interactions (plus she never gave any hint of she being interested in me and it was just my feeling that she has something for me); so it must be my issue. I feel bad that, going forward she might have started restricting her-self while interacting with others. I didn’t want her to modify her nature due to my issues/wrong feelings.

MelaineB -
Interesting – attract the possessive jealous -> frankly I had some kind of work specific jealousy (not a negative one) before I got feelings for her. Its just that I tried to compare her progress-n-all; never in a negative way, however something used to make my mind feel the jealousy. It’s interesting to note that how attraction grows through such a kind of jealousy. Maybe this is another aspect of feelings and attractions

RB,
Not sure how your personal traits are, however I always think that if I am close to her, I might still get feelings for her (even after she told that she doesn’t have any); What if she too gets feelings after a while. I don’t want to interrupt her normal married life in any way, so I always thought that I wanted to be away from her and better not to have any interactions with her.

Good luck.

posted March 20, 2007 08:43 PM              

Having said that my Sag relates easily with men on a chatting friendship basis (aslo Gem Sun Mercury). I am not sure what that is. I used to think it wa shaving three brothers and a dad!!! But anyway, Villy you said:

"I think talking about family (husband/boyfriend) at times, might also help in avoiding confusion. "

Man, that is so true. I have to confess that D' never talks about his wife and I never talk about my husband and that tells me we have a bit of a dreamy crush problem even if we don't act upon it. We talk alot about our children but not our spouses.

posted March 21, 2007 08:02 AM              

Villy I see my Sag friend in school and well being that close wouldn't bother me. I just want her to tell me how we go from here. I miss my buddy.

I guess Sags are misunderstood just like Virgos.

Jane, there have been times when my friend would be walking up the hall she's appeared so worried or sad. I'd go up to her and this huge smile would break out on her face and we picked up where we left off. She'd become more of herself.

On one hand I feel as if I need to leave her alone and the other I feel that it would cowardly of me to do so. Any suggestions? She hasn't spoken to me, is this a sign to take a hike?

One thing I have to say, when we first met, there were no connection. Later, I'm not sure how or why we just clicked.

When Sag woman have a partner in crime, do they keep these relationships private? Kind of like when you're together it's us (us=Sag/partner in crime) against the world sort of thing.

You Sag women are smart and sexy in soft skin. I hope an unattached one comes my way.

Much fun. RB

posted March 21, 2007 11:16 PM            

Too, if other people in the office are noticing your interactions, she might be flying under the radar purposely to let things cool a bit...

I guess it would be best to find out where her head is at these days...since you're missing your friend. She has probably been very aware of how close you've become, but it didn't get so real until you came out and said something...maybe then she realized she needs to back off a bit.

I hope you do find your own unattached Saggie woman!