posted May 01, 2007 11:37 PM              

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This Male born 1-19 is always in a serious mood although he is going through a (lost of employment of five yrs) rough time now but even before this its sooo hard to break the cold exterior to get him to laugh a little I feel like giving up .strange enough this is hard for me but appears to be the norm for them .to me being the leo doesn't help. the more I attempt to pull myself away the more he draws me to him. I just feels like he picks me apart (nerve wrecking)so I feel disliked and want to remove myself.How can I help the company we keep not be soo awkward?

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posted May 01, 2007 11:51 PM              

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Erm, you might want to post his chart or at least his data (date, place, time) so people can take a look at his chart. In case you haven't done this before, astro.com can provide the free chart and my.imageshack.us can provide the free image hosting and code you need (other free sites are out there, but those are the two I use).

General advice (Sun sign-only) is hit-and-miss helpful and it is definitely better to see the full chart. Then folks could give you more specific advice about this person, and that in turn would be of better value to you.

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From: Pleasanton, CA
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posted May 02, 2007 12:28 AM            

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How long ago did he lose his job? He may still be in his depression over it, which just takes time. He'll pull himself out of it, but he'll take his sweet time doing it.

To cheer him up all you have to do is believe in him. You can't be fake about it, though. Superficial flattery may be an avenue towards getting him to smile if you REALLY overdo it and ham it up, but what's genuinely helpful is just having perfect confidence in him. That means that even if he asks your advice, you don't give it. Ask him what he thinks, and go with that. He's self-critical enough for two people, so a person's faith in him will mean more than probably anything else you could do.

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posted May 02, 2007 12:49 AM              

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He lost the job 3/13/07 thanks for the advice I am outgoing and I heard that caps find people like this hard to trust But I don't want to lose me in order to make him happy Don't mis understand me its just that to secure him i feel like I'd have to stop being as giving as I always have been or saying what I mean only to have him think it isn't genuine and it is I do belive in him like you said (AG)HE won't believe me

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From: Pleasanton, CA
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posted May 02, 2007 02:37 AM            

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Yeah, I'd say you're still within the depression time frame being a full month-and-a-half later.

A depressed Capricorn would seem to be difficult for a Leo to handle. He can't provide anything for you at the moment, so if you need some particular behavior from him, it probably isn't going to happen. You'll get no fake happiness from a depressed Capricorn. What he wants from you is the quiet acceptance of a Pisces or Sag. If you can't give him that, then he'll suspect (as he does) that you're actions are self-serving. His suspicion may be right, too, since you're talking about how you feel like you'd lose yourself trying to make him happy. Leo and Capricorn are both very self-interested, which is why they're not exactly considered a great couple. His self-interest is involved in recovering from his job loss and the depression that came along with it. Your self-interest is maintaining your own personal integrity whilst also trying to be helpful toward him. It might be impossible.

My suggestion would be that you maintain a bit of distance if you're not able to handle being around him while he's like this. Capricorns are perfectly well-suited for dealing with things on their own, so it won't crush him for you to keep your space as long as you do it in a friendly manner. Perhaps you could become suddenly busy with some project or something?

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posted May 02, 2007 02:45 AM              

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precisely wht i was about to say...you CAN'T cheer him up...

when i am depressed i want a lot of emotional and moral support....but that doesn't mean i am going to leap and bound the next day. the people in my life would have to accept that i am going to stay like that for a while, and that i need them...i am not looking to be cheered. any kind of 'frivolity' is only going to turn me off when i am absolutely in the pits.

if his depression is getting to you, then it would be better to stay away from him. and the reason it is, could be that you r taking it personally. which you shudn't. it doesnt reflect on you. can you accept that?

*edit* btw i have a tendency to be very sarcastic when i am depressed....i am very cut and dry. i like to talk about it, if i get a receptive ear, but then i have a gemini moon, and then i am a cappy female. at the same time i am extremely sensitive to people poking fun at me during my low phases. people tend to get stacked neatly into two lines...those who care, and those who i should stop caring about. the latter mostly, but not only, contains people who are insensitive to me when they can see i am not in a state to take any more hits from life. so whatever you do make sure you don't sound like you are making fun of him.

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posted May 02, 2007 02:59 AM              

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* If you don't have anything to say, don't say anything
* Stop expecting him to be like your sag, gemini, libra and leo friends
* Just be there and accept him as he is
* Ask him straight out whether he'd like to continue meeting up with you, or he'd rather deal with this alone. tell him you care and would like to help, but don't know how.
* If he prefers to go it alone, then don't take it personally.
* Above all, don't take anything he says/does personally, because -1) it probably isn't meant that way 2) what good is it anyways (taking things personally)...its going to help neither you nor him

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posted May 02, 2007 02:46 PM            

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posted May 02, 2007 03:04 PM              

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Sex.

Sorry. I couldn't resist.

However, it may only be a short term fix.

Edit - Really though... patience and a lot of it. You most likely won't be able to pull him out of it. He'll have to do that on his own.

If you really care about him just let him know you're there.

The way I see it is that it's one of those tests that life throws at two people to determine if you can love them just as much (and be there for them) through the hard times as well as the good.

The bad times sort of weed out the more superficial relationships.

*I'm ducking out before I get flogged*
________________________________________
Scorpio sun, venus, mars, mercury and uranus
Libra moon, pluto and asc.

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Posts: 4416
From: Pleasanton, CA
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posted May 02, 2007 09:32 PM            

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Sex is an excellent suggestion, especially for a Leo and Capricorn (that's probably why they're together in the first place ).

The rest of your post is right, though.

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posted May 03, 2007 12:07 AM              

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AG once agaian you are right he did suggest sex I declined I see it as a short term fix and not long term

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posted May 03, 2007 02:13 AM            

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From: Pleasanton, CA
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posted May 03, 2007 02:52 AM            

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Phone sex? Just kidding. I don't know. I'll think about it.

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posted May 03, 2007 03:02 AM            

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posted May 03, 2007 03:34 AM              

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Well I hope we find a cure soon,

otherwise he might be like my capircorn prof. Nothing has gone his way he tries to fake the fact that he's happy, when he's not.

He's not happy with how things are but he is slowly accepting it as if its the harsh reality of "life".

Oh and your advice you mentioned AG was right on. I get along with them, plus he gave me an A. So he can be frustrating sometimes, but he isn't imposible.

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From: Pleasanton, CA
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posted May 04, 2007 11:00 AM            

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Jupitersgirl,

You could try writing to him. Even using traditional mail would be kind of a nice touch. That would let him know you care in a nice way. If he's a romantic interest, it would also help if your letter smelled nice.

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posted May 04, 2007 11:55 AM            

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