posted November 20, 2007 09:57 PM              

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ARIES: I didn't do it. They dared me to do it. I didn't know it was loaded. I had to do it. I had no idea I was going so fast. It was an accident. It's a free country man. I can do what I want to do.
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TAURUS: It was on sale. I didn't know that it would cost that much. I though I was saving money. I meant to bring it back sooner. I had a sore throat. I've been doing it that way for years.

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GEMINI: Huh? What? I don't know what you're talking about. Who, me? I had no idea this would happen. My (sister, brother) did it. I had a cold.

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CANCER: It's practically a family tradition. I felt like doing it. I didn't feel like doing it. They put something in the water supply. I had a stomach ache. It all started in my childhood.

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LEO: I didn't know anybody was watching. I wasn't thinking clearly, I had a fever. I have special privileges. I had a back ache.

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VIRGO: My accountant told me it was OK. My doctor told me to do it. I didn't know what I was doing. I couldn't help myself. My allergies were acting up. It was that damn medicine.

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LIBRA: I only did it because my spouse does it. (He, She, It, The devil) made me do it. I was having personal problems. Can we compromise on this somehow?

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SCORPIO: I was in the mood. It's a tax write off. I didn't think I'd get caught. I didn't mean to do it. No one else has to know about it. Get a warrant. Talk to my lawyer. They thought I was going to die. I didn't know what the hell I was doing.

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SAGITTARIUS: I had to do it or somebody would sue me. My lawyer told me it was OK. What's the big deal? The government's to blame. It's a (racist, sexist, politically incorrect) thing. It must have been something I ate.

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CAPRICORN: It's nothing serious. I was only following orders. It all happened so fast. I had to see a doctor. My job got to me. We really need the money.

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AQUARIUS: Everybody else was doing it. It was the cool thing to do. My computer had a virus. So what? What are you going to do about it? Who cares about the stupid rules anyway?

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PISCES: I was under the influence. God told me to do it. I was doing God's will. They put something in my food. I thought I could stop before any real damage was done. I didn't notice what time it was. I forgot. Did I really have that many?

posted November 22, 2007 12:43 AM              

CANCER: It all started in my childhood.