posted December 30, 2007 10:46 AM            

I have met several kinds of Cancerians and some have been really nice to me and some were nice to me but had personally few problems. I have learnt how to enjoy life or they have helped me with their humor.

I am trying to understand here aspect of few of my present friends.

I have a Cancer girlfriend and she is going with an Aquarian guy. She used to sleep around with quiet a lot of people but I never judged her. An aquarian gets very busy with his work and thus unable to give enough attention. She hates this.

I will like to know how do Cancer see being Lonely? How much attention do they need?
I have find them to be disloyal because of attention thing and more of if I can't get you then I can get someone else.This has been my personal experience with Cancer guy.

How can they be disloyal sleep with someone and then expect their partner to still think they are loyal ?

The girl/ guy I am talking about even when people are holding normal conversation and when they don't get enough attention they will start getting moody and start flirting with other people. What about being loyal to the person whom they love ?

As I am a Scorpio sun and I completely find it no problem to be alone and be by myself. Till some extent I understand that their need of being with someone but if your partner is unable to give you attention as Cancers will like. What will they do ?

As I personally if I didn't get enough attention and I would have been a steady relationship I would understand and do things to keep me occupied. Not go around and make my partner feel that I can have better partner.I think that's completely wrong.

I am not bashing a sign but when you see a pattern and things keep happening again and again. You start questioning why ? Why do they claim they are loyal when they aren't?

Is it that I have to learn something or I had to teach them that it is very easy to be alone ?

I find myself walking on eggshells while talking to them as you never know when they will think you are being insensitive and scream at you " oh ! you are so insensitive." Fact is that they can't take truth and come up with really mean things to say.

posted December 30, 2007 11:32 AM            

She wasn't a Cancer, but I had a friend with an eggshell thin ego, so I know what you mean. Funny how that hyper-sensitivity didn't extend to other people's feelings.

Claiming to be so fragile you can't take criticism and should be given special allowances to cheat on your partner is just B.S.

See, I'm not good at this sensitivity thing, either, lol.

posted December 30, 2007 12:28 PM            

They see a trait, a personality trait, a human characteristic, look up what that person's Sun sign is, and then assign that trait/characteristic to that zodiac sign.

**sigh**

A professional astrologer of my acquaintance recently wrote me:

"Sun Sign astrology never worked for me at all. It's like saying there are only 12 States or 12 Countries and each person in those states or countries are exactly the same. It drives me nuts!"

This is probably throwing pearls etc, but – people are NOT walking, breathing astrological charts!! We don’t do some thing or look or behave some way JUST BECAUSE a giant gas ball was in a certain area of the sky when we were born. There are a few other little items like the way we were raised, past lives/karma, and the choices we’ve made/paths we’ve taken at every cusp in our lives. Emotional maturity and personal integrity also play a huge part in behavior such as you’ve described in your Cancerian "friend."

posted December 30, 2007 04:05 PM            

Oh, and I'm VERY loyal if to people.....but they have to *earn* it first.

posted December 30, 2007 05:06 PM            

I have all your respect for your knowledge and I am sure you know more about astrology then me since you are a moderator.

They see a trait, a personality trait, a human characteristic, look up what that person's Sun sign is, and then assign that trait/characteristic to that zodiac sign.[b/]

I am afraid this isn't the case here.I am not taking an unfaithfulness as a personality flaw and bashing all Cancerians here.I do apologise if my OP sounds.

If you read my original post.
[b]I am not bashing a sign but when you see a pattern and things keep happening again and again. You start questioning why ?

I am very open minded and will not make 12 signs 12 states as I will be able to see difference from one neighborhood to next.From one block to another.

I see a person more than their astro chart.The very existence of astrology is very shaky and if you are saying that unfaithfulness is something any sign can be.

Then I will say that things like being impatient,
stubborn,
fickle,
moody,
attention grabber,
worrier,
indecisive,
jealous,
blunt
and
dreamy
every sign is capable of all this qualities

BUT

I am sure by reading each adjectives you have already given each sign in your mind.

Does that mean that astrology is something people should stop using it ? Do you belive in astrology personally ?

I personally use astrology as only a tool to describe their behavior pattern and understand psychlogy OR however even how odd their behavior pattern is they get right
to be that odd. We forgive by just saying oh he is Gemini what do you expect. I also
don't have to list whole list of adjectives that come with each signs.

However as much we wish not to be judgmental there are basic nature and qualities people have and through which we differentiate things. We put information into categories. If astrology classify into 12 I am afraid that they just used 12 if there would have been 56 I would have used all 56. I am afraid they haven't and thus I am using category Cancerian.

Yes I understand that there are astrological chart and there can be a possibility that her other aspects make her seem difficult.There can be Venus- Uranus aspect or other things. She has a Capricorn moon and Capricorn Ascendent.However I have seen same tendencies with Cancer Sun , Scorpio Moon and Scorpio Asc. Coincidentally 2 other Cancers don't know their charts.
--------------------------------------------
This isn't personal and not aimed on specific person.

If the website doesn't have many new topics and if the same topics come up again.There can be a proper search or I would suggest that topics get sorted and listed in appropriate way so that new user don't have to write that question again. Usercan just search it.

However it might be same question but people can come up with different answers and can always put more of their thoughts
maybe it isn't challenging to the ones who are more experienced and knowledgable.It is more like Sex people have done it centuries ago, people have talked about it but they are still talking about it and will keep talking about it. So why not Cancerians? Why not astrology?

If there are DO's and DONT's on how to write a post here I will be glad they are archived so that I don't make a grave mistake of re posting what has already been said. I do not mean to bore you. I am sorry that I bored you with my questions.However assuming that a person should already know what has been posted and what hasn't I think it is bit harsh.Also assuming that other people should know what you already know is also bit too much to ask.

I have seen most of the topic on this forum is about different signs, relationships, sometimes about synastry and composite charts. Technical questions are answered less times.Fewer times chart are interpreted. So I am left bit confused honestly on what to write and I will be glad to know as what people would like to see here on this forum.I personally thought this was a place where people could tell their experiences and know other people experiences. More out of curiosity because I like when people have constructive criticism and where people have solutions to problems rather than just giving criticism.
--------------------------------------------

To Every one and people who would like to reply.

It might be that I have just come across some people and they were coincidentally born in Late June / July and in late September/ early October they all had problems being alone.The people who were born in late June/ July they were seeking attention in group situtation. When they didn't get enough attention from a perticular person they purposely flirted with other people. Any human being is capable of doing so.Would you let me know how to deal people like them ? I basically just want to get along with them and help them as I am not sure what to do? Whether I should assume that since they do not get required attention they will be unfaithful.

I will also post in psychology forums but they will not know much about astrology. I am afriad that's the reason I am posting in astrology forum. If this is a mistake then I will post somewhere else.

posted December 30, 2007 05:20 PM            

However trying to grab attention every minute of conversation can be very annoying. I think that is very insecure and I will not really want this to spoilt our relationship.

stillatlarge: I agree what you are saying.It is true however it isn't that she doesn't get praises from me.She gets quiet a lot.She gets jokes I am not sure if she takes as insults but mostly they are based on facts. Even if I question her behavior she wouldn't be comfortable explaining it and will hold against me.

I don't mind if anyone actually come up and question what I am and if I have to explin my behavior. I will do it and actually it will help me to my ownself.

NAM : I personally think we change as we learn ,face circumstances and as our chart progrsses. Just my take I am sure there are more experienced people and will have their own theory. Humans evolve and change.

posted December 30, 2007 06:52 PM            

quote:

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if I can't get you then I can get someone else
sleep with someone and then expect their partner to still think they are loyal
when they don't get enough attention they will start getting moody and start flirting with other people
you never know when they will think you are being insensitive and scream at you "oh ! you are so insensitive." Fact is that they can't take truth and come up with really mean things to say

---

quote:

---

I am not bashing a sign but when you see a pattern and things keep happening again and again. You start questioning why ? Why do they claim they are loyal when they aren't?I am afraid this isn't the case here.I am not taking an unfaithfulness as a personality flaw and bashing all Cancerians here.I do apologise if my OP sounds.

---

quote:

---

I am very open minded and will not make 12 signs 12 states as I will be able to see difference from one neighborhood to next.From one block to another.

---

quote:

---

Does that mean that astrology is something people should stop using it ? Do you belive in astrology personally ? Does that mean that astrology is something people should stop using it ? Do you belive in astrology personally ? I personally use astrology as only a tool to describe their behavior pattern and understand psychlogy

---

posted December 30, 2007 06:52 PM            

quote:

---

If the website doesn't have many new topics and if the same topics come up again.There can be a proper search or I would suggest that topics get sorted and listed in appropriate way so that new user don't have to write that question again. Usercan just search it.

---

quote:

---

However it might be same question but people can come up with different answers and can always put more of their thoughts maybe it isn't challenging to the ones who are more experienced and knowledgable.It is more like Sex people have done it centuries ago, people have talked about it but they are still talking about it and will keep talking about it. So why not Cancerians? Why not astrology?

---

quote:

---

If there are DO's and DONT's on how to write a post here I will be glad they are archived so that I don't make a grave mistake of re posting what has already been said. I do not mean to bore you. I am sorry that I bored you with my questions.However assuming that a person should already know what has been posted and what hasn't I think it is bit harsh.Also assuming that other people should know what you already know is also bit too much to ask.

---

quote:

---

I personally thought this was a place where people could tell their experiences and know other people experiences. More out of curiosity because I like when people have constructive criticism and where people have solutions to problems rather than just giving criticism.

---

quote:

---

It might be that I have just come across some people and they were coincidentally born in Late June / July and in late September/ early October they all had problems being alone.The people who were born in late June/ July they were seeking attention in group situtation. When they didn't get enough attention from a perticular person they purposely flirted with other people. Any human being is capable of doing so.Would you let me know how to deal people like them ? I basically just want to get along with them and help them as I am not sure what to do? Whether I should assume that since they do not get required attention they will be unfaithful.

---

Zala

posted December 30, 2007 08:29 PM            

I dont like slutty people in general I see them more as animals rather then civilized human beings.. but I have more respect for fire air and earth sign people who sleep around.. because they are likely to be doing it just because they want to have sex. unlike water signs who would have sex with the emotional baggage and claim to be insecure and still play innocent good little person.. but fire and such other signs arent afraid to admit they are just doing it to do it and they know its bad but they just dont give a **** lol.. and I respect that alot more.

as for loyal, cancers are suppose to be pretty loyal.. I mean I know I am.. Im a guy and well Im staying loyal to a girl who I havent seen in prolly 8 months. and the thing is I cant even be sure she still loves me or if she is doing stuff with other people.. in other words I really dont fit the "women's" stereotypical description of men and our sexual behavior.

If a girlfriend is not paying attention to me I will let her know.. vaguely or not.. maybe subtle hints or I might come right out and say it.. and if it persists I might just end it.. chances are if the girl is like that then were not even dating in the first place.. cause none of my serious relationships have been like that.

posted December 31, 2007 04:07 AM            

It's a true cultural exchange here on Lindaland.

posted December 31, 2007 08:59 AM            

Having time to ourselves is ESSENTIAL for every crab in order that we do not go off the deep end. Its kind of strange when I here of tales of cancers who always need to be in relationships. Or is that just my virgo moon speaking?

posted January 01, 2008 11:11 AM            

Wouldn't it be great if we could be a person for a day to understand what drives/motivates them to act the way they do?

I had this "gift" once with a very Cancerian person. (No...it wasn't Freaky Friday).

When I was younger, I was parasympathetic, which means I could feel what others were feeling...literally. It was very confusing because I believed these were my feelings and couldn't understand why I was having some of them. When I was in my early 20's, someone explained what this gift was. I spent years moving away from it so that I could be clear on "what's mine" and "what's theirs."

Now, this only kicks in with certain people at certain times. Most recently, a highly Cancerian person.

When I felt this person's every day energy, it was like what I would feel if I was having a panic attack. I had tightness in my chest and felt like something terrible was going to happen. There was also an emotional pain that was sitting right next to him that it felt like he couldn't move away from.

I had to work hard to "lose" the feeling of the energy, but it enlightened me to a lot. I realized how judgemental we are of eachother without knowing what the other has to deal with, just in being themselves and living with the God given energy that they are born with.

My father is a Cancer and is the most nervous, worried person on the planet. He "fears the shadows of fears." Suddenly, I felt like I understood why.

If there were an imaginary scale, with "pain" at zero and "carefree" at number ten, this guy was chained to the number one trying desperately not to be dragged back to zero...NOT that he wanted it to be that way.

From this perspective, each new person...once it's accepted that they won't be the kind that will be a threat to the security he's built (ie they won't drag him closer to the zero), is someone to protect and be devoted and loyal to. There's no point in allowing a shallow relationship beyond the barrier because to him it's A LOT of work for someone who won't stick around or who will betray him in some way.

As to why your friend cheats (although I'm not condoning it), it may come from the same school of defense. It would be hard for an Aqua to give a Cancer girl the kind of security she needs. She may be using it as an "I'll leave you before you can leave me" tactic to protect herself (in her eyes).

I'm not stereotyping Cancers. (This person isn't a sun sign Cancer, but has a stellium.) But having this experience really helped me understand what the Cancer influenced people in my life deal with and where they're coming from. It's also improved my relationship with them.

8th

posted January 01, 2008 01:35 PM            

I see people's chart what planets are where however it gets pretty difficult to get even their birth date and birth time.I get along a bit in the beginning and probably I am not exactly sure what I do and then I don't get along at all with them.

I am sorry Zala I can't help you in the research but however if I come up with whole data sometime I will be first one to post here.I wish that I can have their charts here more than anyone else.

Cancer 1: My teacher he had an extra marital affair while he was married to a Leo. I know this because the girl he liked had same name as mine.

Cancer 2: Cancer guy who liked me however when I was teasing him that you might be able to find another girl better than me. He actually slept with a girl in the same week and actually show off. I confess I was insecure about whether he really liked me or not and he was insecure about his sexuality and able to get love I have realised never to do that again.It didn't stop there he still liked me and he teased me whole time and tried sleeping with me. He started having problems when I will be out with other guys when we weren't even together. He made me leave my own job by talking to my seniors.He had girlfriend in another country who came back to start living with him.I couldn't comprehend how badly somebody will take rejection.

Cancer 3: This girl almost does same thing as Cancer 2. Thank god she isn't revengive and she thinks I am her best female friend.

Cancer 4: This is a new Cancer I like him. I have read enough posts on Cancer Man and Scorpio Woman.Thanks.I just don't want to make same mistakes as before.

Other Cancers like my cousins and others I have been very close to them. They are great.

Thanks for your answers everyone.

Wouldn't it be great if we could be a person for a day to understand what drives/motivates them to act the way they do?

I was just trying to understand that. From her point of view. As we have find difficult to understand each other and probably I have made jokes on her behavior pattern.She makes jokes on my behavior. I don't mind if somebody is strange/different than me however I will definitely like to know why they are different and what motivates them to do that?

As to why your friend cheats (although I'm not condoning it), it may come from the same school of defense. It would be hard for an Aqua to give a Cancer girl the kind of security she needs. She may be using it as an "I'll leave you before you can leave me" tactic to protect herself (in her eyes).[b\]

I may haven't been clear in all my previous post. What exactly I was trying to say was Loneliness and not getting attention = can lead to flirting and unfaithfulness. However I didn't know it can be protecting tactic for her. Thanks for answering that. Eight Moon.I think it can be done by all signs depending on the situation. It can back fire.

It is also when this same behavior comes into day-to-day conversation thing even with me which boggles me.

I was also trying to understand then how does being loyal and faithful work out.

Thanks for answering Dulce Luna :

I wanted to know whom are they loyal and faithful to then.

[b]
On the subject of Loyalty: I'm loyal to my family and my closest friends but everyone else has to earn it. If my loyalty to someone is shaky....its for a reason, ie. its something that *they* did to make me not trust them enough to be very loyal. Or.....I just don't know you or are that close to you.

If there were an imaginary scale, with "pain" at zero and "carefree" at number ten, this guy was chained to the number one trying desperately not to be dragged back to zero...NOT that he wanted it to be that way.

I have found that Cancers go to great length to be at 10 all the time. Believe me ALL THE TIME.Whereas if I am at 0 I will not mind being at 0.I will not mind showing I am upset or grumpy. Some people might seem it to be selfish as I might not be best company at that time.However when I will be at 10 world will know that I am at 10. There is nothing to hide. If people around me can't take me at 0 then they are not real and very fake. They will be thrown out of my friends or close ones list. I will rather be alone then with them.

I have one more question this might sound strange.I personally don't think that there is anything wrong in taking out emotions what you feel rather than getting physically affected and getting health diseases.I think it is completely wrong people who take anti-depressent.

Is it that Cancers themselves want to be at 10 because they don't like being at 0 or because people expect Cancers to be happy at all times so they start pretending or hating when they go through moods or would like to come back at their best moods as soon as possible?

Seeing Stars 7.21 : as for loyal, cancers are suppose to be pretty loyal.. I mean I know I am.. Im a guy and well Im staying loyal to a girl who I havent seen in prolly 8 months. and the thing is I cant even be sure she still loves me or if she is doing stuff with other people.. in other words I really dont fit the "women's" stereotypical description of men and our sexual behavior
[/b]

I am glad you are loyal but most often I have found that Cancer loves 99% more inside and shows 1% outside.Hope your gf knows out loud.

Some people like me need lot more verbal expression of love.I need to be mentally stimulated.Libra Venus here.

posted January 01, 2008 05:22 PM              

quote:

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Is it that Cancers themselves want to be at 10 because they don't like being at 0 or because people expect Cancers to be happy at all times so they start pretending or hating when they go through moods or would like to come back at their best moods as soon as possible?

---

I can only speak for me here, but yes, growing up I was always expected to do good because I would make the mistake first to show I could so then I would have to keep it going...
Like as a small child and before going to school I asked my mom to teach me to read and I would sit there for hours trying to read and learn words when I wasn't even in pre-school; after that I was always the second of my class so I had to keep that up. (little japanese girl was always number one agh!)

later in life in my jobs I have always belong with the top producers, everything I have done I have always been in a competitive setting and I have always succeed.

This time around and after a failing divorce I have found myself and now I understand that I don't want to play these games anymore, I know how to be good but this time I am doing it for me and my values, morals and for truth of life.
So, this is what I fight for now...In other words, yes, I am still competitive to be the best but this time I am doing it for me.

posted January 01, 2008 09:37 PM            

Im sorry your meating the bad cancers.. but there are alot of them.. I didnt understand what you said about 99% of them being inside.. and 1% outside..

I have always been expressive to my gf's when it comes to love Im one in a million. I can be everything a girl ever wanted but my downfall is that I can also be almost everything a girl doesnt want. I can do the sweetest small things to woo a girl. and I have poured hours into making cards myself with the best ideas really worthy of recogition. but I can also be an ******* . I can do the stupidest **** with thinking of what she might feel. lol I remember me and my gf were ****** at eachother one time and it was a few days past valentines.. I just had finished making her card after like 7-8 hours and it was amazing, I actually want it back lol.. I went to her dorm room and left it at her door in a bag and went back to my room. ( we always stayed with one another in eachothers rooms mainly mine.. but werent then because of being ****** ) within the hour she showed up at my door kissing me and forcing me to have sex lol. I think.. hah.. but the point was I knew she had loved it. ok I need to stop ranting about this.

Eventually I ****** up too much and alot of **** went down before summer last year.. I initially suggested we end it. but didnt mean it at all.. she had to go to a counselor the next day.. was sent to a insitiution because they thought she was suicidal.. was sent home and not allowed to return back to school.. I havent seen her since the day she came back to pick up her stuff (its been almost 8 months) and we didnt exactly say goodbye.. I walked out of the room because I had to go to class and she was acting wierd and it was hurting me. not to mention her mom was there who doesnt exactly think we are right together... uh.

Im sorry for all of this.. but I feel I will never let go of her.. I still love her to this day and we still talk but she refuses to get back together.. I have trouble understanding her sometimes.. once in a while we will argue and oddly enough one night we talked and argued and she said she was going to call me back in a few minutes and she did.. and she was crying. I cant remember much of what she said but i remember her saying something about she had already given me a chance..

posted January 01, 2008 10:27 PM              

Thats why i always think libras are so good for me theyre not nasty when you fight and theyre always trying to make it work. Tell your friend to try a libra lol

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ASC: Virgo