posted March 13, 2008 09:20 PM              

I can see the shyness and feeling not worthy part, but I always thought that had to do with my Scorpio moon combined with my Venus in Virgo (which let's admit, not the most sexy position ) interesting...

posted March 14, 2008 03:04 AM              

he has an amazing laugh and can be extremely affectionate.. it comes naturally to him.. but this is when he's feeling good, which is rare and far in between. he leaves you craving for more.. but in the meantime, he is very very shut off.

i used to come home from work and say hi to home and peek into his room (he lived in the room right across from me) and he would just glare at me. he didnt say anything. he definitely very hard to get close to.

im def not a motherly person - Moon opp Venus.. and i lean more toward the Venus side and dislike the idea of ever mothering anyone. i dont really know what he's looking for- but he's super mysterious.

i used to really feel like i needed to bridge the gap - and i did enough things to make it clear that i was interested but he needed to pursue it more.. but he never did.. he always seems a little paralyzed. it made me think i should try harder but nah.

i think now hes just getting lonely.

i remember my Venus sq Saturn transit a few years ago and i felt that so much - lonely, disconnected. it was really really difficult. couldnt imagine what that must be like all the time. i dont feel very sorry for him anymore because i was crazy about him for 2 yrs and tried subtly all the time- no luck. he knows i liked him though- that's why he still hangs around a bit. he likes to stay distant.

good luck Venus trine Pluto.. i think putting oneself out there is really the lesson for the Venus sq Saturn.. difficult.. but necessary.. to open oneself up to the pain that might be.

posted March 14, 2008 10:00 AM            

thanks for your feedback! May I ask what planet. placements you have? I'd be really interested to know. He's an aquarius with a pisces ascendant and moon & mars in Gemini, plus that capricorn venus I mentioned.

"Give him a slap and scare him. lol. If he doesnt get the msg then move on to someone who wants to know".
English isnt my mother tongue, sorry, but I didnt get that. What do you suggest I should do? He hasnt responded to the message in 4 weeks.....It actually was a stupid thing to suggest drinks in the first place. I knew that he feels uncomfortable with the idea and doesnt want to go. (Went for a coffe a year ago which went terribly wrong. Since then our contact grinded to a halt, infrequent communication and only saw each other at a party, he seemed tense talking to me 1 to 1 even there.)

"Just a tip for you from a blokes perspective. If we ignore you and pretend we are not interested it probably means the exact opposite. It means you got to him and he is confused about how he feels"
Mmmmh, interesting. I always thought ignoring a woman is a man's way of telling you 'sorry not interested' without any confrontation.

posted March 14, 2008 11:11 AM            

I used to be painfully shy. To the point where people thought I was stuck up! That's the last thing I am. It's not that I think I'm TOO GOOD, it's the opposite: I don't think I'm good enough. I used to loathe everything that came out of my mouth, and over think things to the point of anxiety.

I'm much better now... turned into a little aqua social butterfly... I talk to everyone (or rather, everyone talks to me!).

I definitely feel lonely and don't believe or trust the affection that others show. I kinda assume there is a motive behind it.

But, I think understanding the aspects help overcome those feelings...

posted March 15, 2008 02:10 PM            

By the way I'm also a capricorn with mercury and venus in capricorn. Apart from the venus square saturn aspect, I think anyone with strong capricorn in their chart has trouble showing their interest....Having said...I think in this particular case I've been pretty direct with my interst. At least the male friends who read through my email (in retrospect) thought my interest does come through...so if he hasnt responded it's looking pretty hopeless I guess..

posted March 16, 2008 05:02 PM              

Also, I have a mutable T-Square with Mars opposition Pluto and square Moon at the appex. Women that trigger this off is not good ! Tend to attract Pisces women with my Mars in Pisces. Of course this triggers off the T square.

But a woman with personal planets in later part of Taurus would be very good for me forming a grand trine.

As far as the bloke you are interested in goes. You both have Venus in Cap ? lol. No wonder no one makes a move ! Both too scared of getting rejected. But if neither of you does make a move (I mean direct move not subtle signals) then it won't happen. Hence, a man with Venus in Cap prefers more forward women in my experience. Perhaps your man likes the social butterfly Gem's as well ?

posted March 16, 2008 05:22 PM              

A man with venus square saturn is likely to feel pretty resentful towards women and how they make him feel.

Venus in Cap needs to fully trust someone first before he reveals his feelings ? Remember once you get into a Venus in Cap's heart you can pretty much stomp all over the place. Hence, he will put up barriers to protect his heart before he invests his feelings. The way forward ? Build up trust first I guess so he feels comfortable and less 'prickly' around you ? Be prepared to wait along time !

Or take the 'pressure' off him and reveal your feelings first ? It might be he doesnt know how to express them to you so closes his heart ?

posted March 17, 2008 04:09 PM            

thanks for all your feedback! Is a great help to get a venus-saturn guy's perspective. Really appreciate it!

Yes, we both have venus in capricorn. He doesnt have the square between venus and saturn,but the opposition. I also have a very wide opposition.....as a result his venus opposes my saturn, my venus opposes his saturn very tightly in synastry. We certainly have a blocked self-expression around each other. Him a lot more than me and he has always seemed very intimidated around me. Which is not to say that this is a sign of romantic attraction. But we just started off with an extremely lop-sided 'power balance' he seems extremely uncomfortable with. When we met he was still a student, I was already very succesful in my career. Even now that he has his first job, this hasnt changed. Around the 'gemini'type woman he always seems to be very relaxed, a social butterfly. Around me I always get the impression I'm talking to my tense pupil and I'm the big teacher. Oh well..

"The way forward ? Build up trust first I guess so he feels comfortable and less 'prickly' around you ? Be prepared to wait along time !"
I know you are right, but unfortunately we dont have a common platform for such a slow build up. No common friends, not the same job environment. Scared that he has disappeared for good (I had suggested the drinks as part of a quite personal birthday mail), so there might not even be the odd party invitation upcoming for a 'normalization' of contact. And after my last push forward, I've no confidence left.

If you have an aqua ascendant, then gemini probably rules your 5th house, I guess. No wonder you like Geminis that much :-). You said earlier on in this thread that your venus is in your 12th house, does your sun and mercury also fall in the 12th house?

Together with your mars in pisces this would give your personality a strongly piscean tone.Hence the tendency to be elusive, not forward, making the move. This paired with the barriers and fear factor of the capricorn, venus-saturn influence would explain quite a bit why you have trouble approaching women.

I'm glad to read your accounts because I keep hearing everywhere over and over again, men are so and so, and if they have the slightest interest in a woman they will go for it. And if they dont, face it, there's not the slightest chance that there is anything at all.

posted March 17, 2008 07:37 PM              

I have the Venus conjunct Sun square Saturn but they are both in earth signs so I don't know if this dissipates it as they are in compatible signs. I agree with the Piscean/12th house influence. However, 3 personal planets in Cap make me very Cap like as well. But my sun/venus are very heavily aspected good and bad.

Anyways enough of me. I was trying to help you !

It doesn't sound like there is much common ground between you. Is there an age difference as well ? Are you older than him for instance ?

I have found as I have got older I can live with the hard aspects I have. I suppose these give energy to do something about it !

Your man might not have learnt how to deal with the issues the Venus/Saturn aspects throw up.

posted March 17, 2008 07:53 PM              

Venus in Cap wont invest feelings unless it is going somewhere. Takes us a while to be sure it is worth making the effort and trusting someone with our hearts !

I certainly don't play the 'play it by numbers' game which I think is incredibly shallow.

He could be just waiting until he is sure ? Just a thought.

posted March 18, 2008 05:45 PM            

we are both in our early 30s, I'm a year older than him, so no significant age gap. But I guess in terms of 'maturity', whatever is the right term, he's a lot younger than me and than most people his age. has only just finished his phd which he drifted into and hated till the bitter end and has now just started his first job; I've been working for years, guess from the outside I'm the confident 'career woman' (not on the inside though...). That's actually the irony - this image seems to attract alpha males, but with my sagittarius mars conjunct neptune they arent at all my type. Instead I like idealistic thinkers and creative dreamers, or vice versa :-). At the last party I met his brother for the first time, one of those super succesful alpha males.His way of hitting on me was to constantly emphasize his own success by complaining about his younger brother's alleged immaturity and lack of drive, portraying him like a little boy.Charming...not. I was thinking that it must be quite challenging and depressing to have such a super-everything brother.But I'm going off in tangents.

Maybe it's time for me to exhale, take a break and pamper my self-confidence for a while. Maybe I'll eventually find out there's just a very simple answer (like him being interested in someone else.) Or who knows maybe time will deliver a fresh start for the two of us.

Final question, I promise :-) !! I've read that the position of Venus in a man's chart is supposed to offer some clues as to what he will find attractive in a woman. As you like gemini women, whihc is completely different from your venus in capricorn energy, I'm just wondering how you've reacted in the past to women with strong capricorn/saturn in their charts? Often attracted or was your reaction mostly platonic/friendship? (my planets & ascendant strongly aspect his venus, but capricorn rules his 10th & 11th house, so maybe just platonic/friendship)

posted March 18, 2008 07:48 PM              

You are so lovely and you just don't realise it yet

You get me wrong. I said I was attracted to Gem women - doesn't mean I don't realise I am attracted to the wrong sorts. I need an Earthy down to earth woman in all honesty.

In answer to your question, I like mature women emotionally, personally. I want a 'proper' ALL woman who knows what she wants - not a silly girly who plays games if you know what I mean !

I always get on better with older people anyhow or more mature people emotionally. Even tho my friends are younger they are pretty mature. Maybe the Cap influence. I don't really like immature women although can't help having a physical response to them.

The young girlies are just too bl00dy annoying tho !

As for Cap/Saturn women - we are just too similar I guess. We just tend to skirt in circles around each other and never get it together !

I remember one from school who I really liked and I never told her how I felt. She looked pretty miserable with the situation as well. I just knew how she felt.

Hope this helps. It's real good talking to you. We seem to have alot in common. Even today I was thinking I hope you respond and this is a pretty impersonal forum as well.

Anyways, don't do yourself down ! There are plenty of other people who will make you feel bad to make themselves feel better. "Alpha males" are just neanderthals. They are so shallow and they suck I guess ! Quite a few women attracted to them tho. Stupid ones. I prefer someone with brains myself with abit of depth and personality. Not just looks.

It has just struck me that maybe you just might want to look after your man and protect him as it is easy to like someone immature. Dare I say mother him ?! It has also occurred to me that he won't be able to forget you. He will realise one way or another in time with or without you.

I can tell you are an honest, intelligent and sensitive person - don't ever forget that. You deserve to be loved. Value yourself.

posted March 19, 2008 06:10 PM            

"Hope this helps. It's real good talking to you. We seem to have alot in common. Even today I was thinking I hope you respond and this is a pretty impersonal forum as well."
I was thinking exactly the same and I really do think we have a lot in common. Probably not only all that capricorn, but like you I also have a mercury ruled moon in the 4th house. And yes, your feedback really did help a lot, Thanks!!

posted March 19, 2008 06:48 PM              

Don't know how to say this but I would really like to talk to you privately about things. I am not trying anything. Just want a confidant

posted March 19, 2008 08:18 PM              

I wouldnt be scared. I can't hurt you over email. See you on this forum somewhere again otherwise.