posted April 17, 2008 10:20 PM         

I’m only starting to study astrology (and getting familiar with this wonderful forum here), and if anyone can be a little guide for me… I really appreciate it.

I have a best friend, and I’m in love with him. We were intimately involved last year briefly, and now we are just friends. We still do most things together, from drinking to projects to traveling. At one point we even felt like we were a brother and sister (maybe we still do, never mentioned that recently). It was him who stopped being intimate with me, but I can’t get over my feelings.

The thing is that, since he had his “love of his life” a few years ago, no matter how hard he tries he cannot fall in love again and he suffers intensely from this love from the past. Recently he just gave up on relationships all together. It’s a really tragic story. Although I believe that it’s not about who one loves “the most”, and it’s about whether you love someone no matter in what degree, and despite my desires, my rational mind tells me that it’s better off I forget him. What is bothering me is the fact that I cannot. When I look at our charts there is not THAT strong aspects between us at all (to my inexperienced eyes). I wonder why I’m in love with him so much. My love for him is quiet and almost unconditional. I love him the way he is, although he has very many faults. I want him but I’m just happy when I spend time with him. I’ve never loved anyone like that. And we are really the closest to each other.

I’m leaving the city where we live now for a long time soon to take care of my mother, and I’ve been debating whether I should let him know my feelings for him. But I’m much too afraid that it’ll break our friendship that is very very special. I want to know what does this to me… so I may have a better understanding and move on, if that’s meant to be…

Here are our charts. If you are interested, I have the date and approximate time of our first meeting as well. I want to have peace with it before I leave this city with him living in it…

posted April 17, 2008 11:15 PM         

I had a guy friend a throughout junior high until I was about 23-24 years old we talked about anything and everything. We went through a lot of things together and we were there for each other when no one else was. We really could talk about anything just like he was a girlfriend and I was his guy friend. We didn't hide anything from each other. He kept letters I wrote him, we are the only boy and girl that kept in touch after high school like that. He went off to the marines and was stationed out in California and I was in Oklahoma and he would call and we'd talk for hours...it really was a special friendship one that I wouldn't trade anything for--but we made the mistake of sleeping together once he returned from the marines. We both agreed on one drunken night to have s** with no commitment. Things changed a little for just a little while after that, but we eventually got right back to where we were as friends. We even shared with each other that we thought we would wind up together one day. But, a couple of years past and he came over crying to me, actually about another women...imagine that...we did it again and slept together. A couple of weeks went by and we slept together again after a really intimate conversation about our pasts together and what we meant to each other (friendshipwise). Anyway, the next morning he tried to hug me goodbye and I just looked at him and told him I had to go as I shut the door...I knew we were treading on water. So, I rushed out. The next night, he asked me if we could try to make a go of a relationship together. I gave him the classic line that we were to good of friends and that we wouldn't want to ruin that. We have never spoken again. It will be one of the things I will regret the rest of my life. I should have never let it happen the s** stuff it ruined us, because if not both of you--one will eventually want more than the other and it ruins everything. One thing though I will also regret that I didn't give it a shot with him. I don't think I will ever have that again with someone. We had it all the closeness, the communication, the love, the like, really everything. So, really my story is like a double-edged sword...I think it was a time in my life that I came to a fork in the road and I will never know if I chose the right one.

Remember, I am a girl though so our circumstances are opposite, but they have very similar things...so, I don't know if this story helps but I thought I'd share it.

posted April 18, 2008 12:07 AM         

lechien - I am inclined to seldom use astrology to such matters as yours because it never gives me answers. I will consult astrology about material things, to see when the best time to make a business move, but with love... I tend to be philosophical because the answers seem to always depend on me, and the choices I am willing to make relative to what I desire to achieve.

So, if you really desire to fall out of love with him, the most logical thing to do would be to decrease the time you spend with him. That would require a commitment from you to always choose the path that takes him away from you, not the path that brings him closer to you.

Sometimes we may be feeling torn and conflicted about someone/something but deep down inside, we desire to feel that way. This is when we choose things that bring about the torture instead of choosing things that make us feel better. I think that since you're still seeing him regularly, you still enjoy being around him, and you even enjoy the pain thereafter. I know that this might sound strange, but if you have really had enough of the torture, you would have distanced yourself from him already.

Maybe there are still some "soul" lessons to learn/remember, and that's why you are going through this. Maybe because you still hope to be reunited with him, you stick around and cross your fingers for that day to come.

Maybe... maybe... maybe...

If I had advice for you, I would say that you must find out what you want/desire and make sure that your actions are in harmony with your desires. If you desire him to be out of your mind, then you must choose actions and a lifestyle that supports that desire.

You can't walk due east if you desire to reach west. Kick the habit of "loving him" by keeping away from things that tempt you to love him. That can break any bond even if astrology is telling you it can't be broken.

posted April 18, 2008 12:10 AM         

29th, thank you for telling me your story... i think you are right, i think that's what will happen too... its just feels difficult sometimes to keep a secret forever... at times i fancy that when we both have white hair i'll tell him and we can laugh about it.

let me re-phrase, although we are "best friends", we are not the kind of friends who talk about everything. not that we can't, but it's so natural for us to be with each other that we don't have to talk. we have the same wavelength. but i don't really know why, and our sexual past confuses me, and i want to see clearly what we are to each other. i've never been so confused about something like this before, but it is because he has had a profound impact on the way how my view on life turned around. in short, he changed my world completely.

i'm sorry i cannot pinpoint directly, i wanted to "pinpoint" it by studying our charts, but to me the charts don't show anything as drastic as it actually feels to me.

posted April 18, 2008 12:18 AM         

sorry for putting the dramatic confusing title...

i think i just want to understand what went on and goes on between us fundamentally. what made him change my life this much? why do i feel that he is my brother? i'm ready to take what comes in the future, but i want to understand the past... does it make sense, or am i speaking nonsense...?

ah ok, i think what i really wanted to mean was... what makes me feel like this? it's not just about the romantic love. i want to detach but i feel like there is something more, and i want to understand what it is, if it was just a romantic feeling that would be easier... and it came out as "why can't i fall out of..."

posted April 18, 2008 01:39 AM         

Some things you can look into or ask someone about are the chiron links to his planets (those are suppose to be linked to healing and pain), I noticed the moon-pluto conjunction is linked to the other moon by a 150 degree aspect (pluto is about depth, obsession, intensity, etc.) also I would look up the pluto square NN/SN...I am sure there is more, but I can't remember all of the chart now that I am in the reply box.

Just look into those aspects I don't even know enough to explain them to you. I just know enough (with you talking about not wanting to let go, suffering, and not sure of the future or past concerning him) to look for pluto, chiron, NN aspects to inner planets...NE-way, just thought I would try to help you astrologically. I'm clueless and just learning myself.

posted April 18, 2008 06:54 AM         

In the first box, put Aries 0º
In the third box, put your NN's placement. (Yours looks to be around 10º0' Libra.)
Then leave those two boxes alone, and in the second box put the placement for each planet whose draconic placement you want to learn. I'd look up your Moon, Sun, and Venus first.

You may find that you have draconic planets that conjunct his tropical planets. Draconic planets are said to operate more at the soul level. If his tropical planets conjunct your draconic ones, you may feel that who he is helps you become who you need to be.

I've consistently found significant draconic-tropical conjunctions for people who are very in love in the way that you described, a way that transcends boundaries like familial/romantic/friendship love.

But back to the tropical charts, I think his Sun on your MC is a powerful placement.
And although it's not exact, his NN on your Vertex is significant too, I think. I've seen that a lot in important relationships.

posted April 18, 2008 02:40 PM         

jane, i've heard of draconic placements but never looked into it yet. sounds interesting.

posted April 18, 2008 03:23 PM         

-my draconic MOON conjuncts his MERCURY
-my draconic SATURN conjuncts his SATURN

-his draconic VENUS conjuncts my DESCENDANT
-his draconic JUPITER conjuncts my SUN
-his draconic NEPTUNE conjuncts my VERTEX

and i'm not sure these count because they are not exact conjunctions, but...

-his draconic SUN near my DESCENDANT (3 degree)
-his draconic MERCURY near my DESCENDANT (4 degree)

also with an asteriod?

-my draconic MOON conjuncts his PALLAS

and last of all, i don't know if this counts, because they are not conjunct, but both of our draconic SUN, MERCURY and VENUS all fall in gemini. our draconic JUPITER both in sagittarius.

posted April 18, 2008 05:43 PM         

i also didn't really know the significance of planets and points squaring nodes, i thought it was only significant as conjunction. in that case, although it's 6 degree difference our nodes square each other. but since it's not a very tight one i didn't really think it was so important, and again, i don't really know how to interpret this either...

posted April 18, 2008 06:59 PM         

karma 3811
valentine 447
amor 1221
osiris 1923
isis 42
juno

see how they interact both in tropical and draconics

well,see that conjunction about your Draco saturns and the d.venus in your d.dsc - i´ll say that says a lot about you feeling so deep for him - and his draco sun on your dsc also ..may very well point to past life link as a couple.

the progressed composite - it´s nice seeing the 7th house with VX/NN/PF all together,as it´s the "marriage/partnership" house

composite - venus conj sun: classical placement of a love relationship.

posted April 19, 2008 08:15 AM         

in the meantime, i will look into thse asteroids, diandra, thank you.

posted April 19, 2008 08:36 AM         

look at some other past links to understand karma in synastry. it will help u be strong

SS

heres the links...

JOHHNY CASH - JUNE CARTER ---- DRACO DRAMA - Lindaland http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/014290.html

posted April 19, 2008 11:38 AM         

His personal planets have lots of earth, Ascendant, Sun, Moon, Venus. That doesn't make for a lot of connection between you. He has moon and Venus in Virgo, so he is not usually attracted to a lot of fire in women, especially since his 7th house is in Cancer, a water sign ruled by the moon.

You 2 had some sexual episodes probably when transiting Uranus in Pisces was squaring your natal Venus in Sagg. And probably at the same time, Jupiter was conjuncting your Venus last year. Uranus brings unexpected excitement, but it's usually not long lasting. Sort of easy come, easy go. Since Jupiter and Uranus aspected your Venus more, and none of his personal planets, it was more exciting for you than it was for him.

He has Jupiter trine your Venus, so he does bring genuine good feelings to relationship with you, but it's not really that personal for him. Though it feels good to you.

posted April 19, 2008 01:56 PM         

it's not possible to stop hanging out with him right now because of the nature of what we do and the circumstances, but i'm moving somewhere far away in a month. i'm actually glad that i will be away from him, although i'll miss a good friend. when i see him in the future i probably won't feel romantic anymore (hopefully), but i think that i will still have the feeling that he is my brother. but Belage, i think it'll be quite impossible to find him "boring" still in a normal sense, he's the weirdest, anti-social, emotionally suffering man one would ever encounter in her life! he's packed with talents he doesn't know what to do with and he acts like an idiot but he's the wisest person i've ever met. i don't actually think that anyone can be in a long term relationship with someone so complicated like that, so in any case, i believe it's better for me to forget about all the romantic feelings.

posted April 19, 2008 03:13 PM         

ok... venusdeindia, my internet has been slooooww and it didn't let me upload images. but i finally got it, here's my draconic + natal chart from astro.com... how timely for them to have created this feature. but i really have no experience with draconic astrology... i don't really know how to look at this chart! is it sort of like synastry with my own inner self?

posted April 19, 2008 04:14 PM         

in these charts i included the asteroids you mentioned, but had to kick out amor because isis didn't make it in (too many asteroids at once?) fyi, my amor is at 20.18 capricorn, his is at 12.19 cancer...