posted May 11, 2008 10:48 AM
ok damn DP 
never mind...
What Males of the Twelve Signs Think Appeals to Women
by Alison Nielson (premavratini@yahoo.com)
NOTE: This is meant to be light-hearted and silly; please take it in the spirit in which it was intended.
Aries - Big muscles, red sports cars, money, power, prestige…and being able to beat up the other guy!
Taurus - Lavish surroundings, great food, wine, song and dance. And money.
Gemini - Great conversation. Lots of change. Entertainment.
Cancer - My life story in detail. My needs and pains. My mother's recipes.
Leo - Money, power, prestige, a great wardrobe.
Virgo - Cleanliness is next to godliness. Order.
Libra - Great accounting. Going Dutch.
Scorpio - Great sex. Murder mysteries.
Sagittarius - A positive attitude. Lots of adventures. Unchecked optimism.
Capricorn - Take her to the Presbyterian Church FREE Potluck Dinner in his black suit and white shirt.
Aquarius - Medieval science instruments. Spacecraft and the beings that pilot them.
Pisces - Your life story in detail. Your needs and pains. Your mother's recipes.
Women of Each Sign Discuss How to Be Sexy and Catch a Lover
by Michael Laughrin (Michael@jyotish.ws)
NOTE: This is meant to be light-hearted and silly; please take it in the spirit in which it was intended.
Aries - Lead him by the you-know-what
Taurus - - the bigger the better
Gemini - Dancing, flirting and lots of action (men, women - who cares?)
Cancer - Every man wants his mother
Leo - Be the unobtainable Queen of the known Universe. Even if you don't catch your man, you will love seeing them grovel
Virgo - Perennially virginal, but hot under the covers
Libra - Equality and fair play. Wear harmonious colors
Scorpio - Sizzle! Spark! And little nips here and there
Sagittarius - Don't fence me in! So many men, so little time
Capricorn - You must plan. Marriage is warfare. Today's battle won is tomorrow's wealth
Aquarius - Find a "walk-in" who is a registered Democrat and drives a Saab
Pisces - It's all feelings. Don't bother me with details
The Twelve Signs on Childrearing
by Alison Nielson (premavratini@yahoo.com)
Aries - Kids need to be active. Take 'em outdoors and to martial arts class.
Taurus - Feed them and help them learn to watch TV.
Gemini - Learning to socialize is good and I'm busy. Take 'em to daycare.
Cancer - Raising a child is so important. They must be properly nurtured and treated sensitively.
Leo - Do you think she looks better in Gucci or Prada?
Virgo - Children get dirty so easily. Keep them indoors and wash them a lot.
Libra - A balanced life is everything. Make sure they get to ballet lessons and music lessons and learn to speak a foreign language.
Scorpio - Remember "Lord of the Flies." There is no telling what the little beasts get up to.
Sagittarius - Children are such a precious gift. They are the future of humanity. Play with them and give them lots of freedom.
Capricorn - Children should be seen but not heard…AND they are expensive.
Aquarius - My baby is an Indigo Child. He is very special. That is why I am home schooling.
Pisces - Rain, Sun and Moon taught me so much about myself.
Lindaland
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posted May 11, 2008 10:48 AM