posted May 31, 2008 02:57 PM            

OK, I'm going to the mall now cuz I know what I'm in for-but it NEEDED saying.

posted May 31, 2008 07:12 PM              

his -

synastry -

composite -

posted May 31, 2008 09:22 PM              

sorry to find you in this state. But as time passes by, you will eventually forget all the hurtful feelings and disappointment you are carrying now. Time heals everything but you are just overwhelmed by your current situation

And also remember if some one wants to walk out of our life, its always better to let them go at the earliest. The sooner its done, less the hurt you get. The more we try to keep them with us, the more the other person feels suffocated and the more they want to break free. That will hurt you more.

Its good that you have given him so much in the past and try not to hate him for what he did to you. It might be the time for you to learn and accept disppointments are a part of life. We just have to keep moving on. Try to keep yourself as busy as you can, you will get over it slowly.

posted June 02, 2008 10:54 AM            

Saving your virginity does not guarantee happiness in marriage.

Anyway, time heals.

posted June 02, 2008 07:40 PM            

The man/woman and mother/father relationship is the most basic cellular component for the individual, society, and the species. If an ecologist saw this kind of behavior among animals they would see it as dysfunction and people are no different.

I don't understand how I keep getting in the position I do here. You all have very short memories. It was only a few weeks ago SeeingStars was attacking me for the opposite idealogy. I wish I could remember what thread that was. I'd bump it. I'm just the voice for moderation. There is a lot of ignorance in the old ways but there's a lot of truth too. Just my opinion.

posted June 02, 2008 07:48 PM            

As for sex before marriage -

I believe the best relationships that I have had is when me and the person did this:

1. Became platonic friends
2. Learned to love each other without idealism
3. Thought and experimented about making it a romance.
4. Made it a romance.

Marriage... I dunno if I can do it well. It scares me senseless. I think that marriage comes in either step 4 or after step 4. That's my formula. It works for me. That is why I don't date much and that is why I have lots of guy friends. Every guy is my potential ex-husband!

I joke. Sorry if I am being insensitive. But, back to the topic... What you are feeling is natural believe it or not. it is called grief. You are letting go. Cry as much as you need to. Mourn. It is healing even though it is uncomfortable. But, watch out for depression. So, look after yourself, alright?

posted June 03, 2008 05:53 AM            

The T-Square on your chart is quite heavy-duty and this guy transforms it into a Grand Cross. That doesn't mean doom, but it is a testing configuration that suggests this is a relationship that carries life lessons. His end of the cross is Jupiter which I think (just my view) is a bit light weather for the job at hand. Someone with their own t-square and maybe Saturn involved might be more substantial.

There's a lot of red on your synastry chart. That's fine if there is something sweet to balance it out like maybe Moon Trine Venus or something of that ilk. The Moon Trine Uranus doesn't carry quite the same tone.

Mars Opposite Venus CNJ Pluto on the synastry sounds sizzling, so I can see why it is tough for you to let you. But the Moon Opposite Mercury makes me think that long term this could be constant hurt feelings on your behalf, maybe you just aren't on the same wave length.

posted June 03, 2008 06:00 AM              

No wonder you are SEEING red.

posted June 03, 2008 08:27 AM            

It is a known fact that the first flush of romance lasts at maximum 18 months.
Different hormones are released during this period and they give you that excitement which makes you think that you are going to be with that person forever and it will be fabulous.
If you don't bond your partner to you formally ( marriage) during that period you go into the next phase or the "comfort zone"
Different hormones are released that bond you in a steady way but not in the way that makes you think "I have to formally tie myself to this person or they will escape"

Now during the next 3-5 years if you haven't had children, a male with a normal to high sex drive will instinctively desire to spread his seed and he will begin to be attracted outside of his home.
It is a primeval drive for survival.

In the days before the pill most couples usually had one or more children by 3-5 years and so the male protectively bonded.

But in our liberated age (thank God) women have choices but I have said this before somewhere.
50 years of liberation cannot override so many million years of evolved behaviour.
So men are only doing what comes natural.

Marriage sort of slows (not stops) this pattern but how many times do you hear of men being with a woman for so many years,unmarried, no children, and then suddenly up and leaving and within 6 months he has a new partner pregnant.
And the poor one left behind, is like "WTF???

Somewhere in his pea sized brain (sorry couldn't resist!!) a little light went off and he thought "Must procreate"
Turns to women who has been with him for so many years and thinks "Mmm, not going to be you though"

Sadly ladies you always have to be the prize.
Don't sell yourselves short.
Put a time scale on it.If he hasn't asked you for marriage in 18 months, Aint gonna happen.

still at large is right....don't ALLOW it to happen.Don't stay on the subs bench.

posted June 03, 2008 08:37 AM              

OK, time to add this in to the mix

excerpt from a book written in 1928

""A woman came to me in deep distress. The man she loved had left her for other women, and said he never intended to marry her. She was torn with jealousy and resentment and said she hoped he would suffer as he had made her suffer: and added, "How could he leave me when l loved him so much?"

I replied "You are not loving that man, you are hating him, " and added "You can never receive what you have never given. Give a perfect love and you will receive a perfect love. Perfect yourself on this man. Give him a perfect, unselfish love, demanding nothing in return, do not criticise or condemn, and bless him wherever he is."

She replied, "No, l won't bless him unless l know where he is!!"

"Well" l said "that is not real love"

"When you send out real love, real love will return to you, either from this man or his equivalent, for if this man is not the divine selection, you will not want him. As you are one with God, you are one with the love which belongs to you by divine right".

"When you are no longer disturbed by his cruelty, he will cease to be cruel, as you are attracting it through your own emotions."

Herein lies the truth about love. If l had 1 cent from everyone i've ever met who has a conditional view on love i'd be a billionaire by now.

posted June 03, 2008 09:02 AM            

The procreation theory would be more convincing if:

a) I didn't know so many single mothers
b) I didn't know more than one person who has had a vasectomy because they found the idea of their partner getting pregnant put them off sex
c) I didn't know more than one man who married a woman he knew from the start could not have children (and stayed faithfully married for decades until death parted them)
d) I didn't have more than one friend who admit they have never cheated on their wives because they are quite happy with what they have got even if a bit more sex would be nice.