posted July 06, 2008 05:32 PM         

My birthdate: 12/25/77 4:06pm South Carolina

If you're into astrology, here's his chart.

Sun Gemini 3.50
Moon Sagittarius 9.12
Mercury Gemini 22.58
Venus Cancer 17.32
Mars Aries 3.15
Jupiter Aries 15.31
Saturn Cancer 16.16
Uranus Libra 29.05 R
Neptune Sagittarius 10.36 R
Pluto Libra 6.38 R
Lilith Pisces 12.11

Aspects

posted July 06, 2008 05:59 PM         

It seems many old lovers are finding each other again on MySpace, including me. Why are they almost always long distance? I'm giggling because I'm East Coast and he's West Coast. Anyway...

This is just some advice before I even look at your chart.

Your mother just died a violent death, from what you just explained. I don't know how close you were to her, but if you were close to her, I imagine that you must be grieving for her and that part of your response to him that night of the argument had to do with the pressures of your grief, the deadline you had the next day, and when someone is pressuring you for your time in the middle of the night for sex or cyber-sex or any kind of attention, a person's temper could explode.

My advice would be to give YOURSELF some time and space from trying to be perfect for this guy. It's also something he should be giving you.

The other little bug in my ear: The Swinger Comment. I understand what "being down and freaky" means and what it entails, but you both did not establish your "secure relationship" before he flew off to his "swinger adventure". If he is not communicating with you the same way as before, it sounds as if he's having his needs met elsewhere and doesn't feel he has to be bothered with anyone else, especially if that person is going through a difficult time emotionally, etc. Not that I'm against "swinging" but as a middle age woman, I've seen it all and unless you have both set your ground rules for each other or set CLEAR BOUNDARIES, which you don't seem to have done yet, anything goes for this guy at this time.

I think you should give yourself time to clear your own mind and get your work done, etc. Let him initiate conversation or re-assert his interest in you, because right now he's not doing it and the more that you "pressure" him for answers, the more he's going to run in the opposite direction.

Give this situation time to breath. One day at a time.

One day at a time.

One day at a time. Keep yourself busy with other things.

I'm going to take a look at your chart, I can't guarantee when I'll respond. It seems these days that when I give a deadline, I can't meet it, so if I don't give one it will probably be soon. In the meantime, I hope other's will give their feedback as well then maybe I can jump on their bandwagon.

Geocosmic Valentine
Professional Astrologer
geocosmicvalentine@yahoo.com
. www.myspace.com/geocosmicvalentine

posted July 06, 2008 10:27 PM         

I'm sure he's the same and he needs something to distract him while occuping his time.

I'm still thinking is it possible you both bring positive and negative memories back to him?

Or is he just hurt from relationships in general?

If it was up to me I'd leave him be for some period of time,

but be a non pushy freind then decide what the best course of action is. See how he reacts later this week, as you know are moods can change quickly.

posted July 07, 2008 12:00 AM         

Ya I do give him positive memories (I was the best girlfriend he had) but also negative memories. I hurt him in the past and it seems he hasn't quite gotten over it. My temper must have triggered the negative memories and scared him. Plus me pressuring him to talk must have scared him more.

posted July 07, 2008 12:24 AM         

This is a difficult time for you and it is a time when you should be surrounded by people you trust, close friends and familly. I think you need to talk about a lot of things and get a lot of your chest, maybe talking to a counsellor might help.

The idea that you are in some way guilty towards this person is bogus.
There is nothing here for you to fix. You have expressed remorse and said you're sorry. It's been 10 yrs. You were in your teens at the time. This should be buried. If he can't bury the hatchet, that is his issue.
Right now you have your own issues to deal with.

The absolute worst thing you can do right now is put yourself down and find areas in your life where you are "the bad guy" or "the guilty person". Maybe this is a reaction to your mother's death. I really think you need to be kind to yourself and surround yourself with as many positive things as possible.

You are a good person. You are not some kind of bad guy in 'the story of your life' who needs to make things up to Mr. Gemini. I am positive you gave a lot to that relationship also. There are good and bad times in every relationship. Whatever happened, happened - but don't forget the good things you did for him. I am likewise positive you tried and gave of yourself in the relationship with your mother, as much as you could. What happened is a tragedy but it isn't one you could've prevented.

There needn't be feelings of guilt here.
Life is not consistent, although those with Capricorn influence (myself included) would really like it to be. Life is not predictable. Some things you can predict, others not so much, others not at all. Things are constantly changing. Situations pass, people pass - and we leave this plane ourselves at some point.
I think it's very important for you to reach a point where you are at peace with losing things and content with the world as it is.

Right now, you seem affraid, whether it's fear of being alone, fear of losing someone else you love, fear of being guilty and unforgiven, fear of not being good enough/not having done the right thing and so forth..
These feelings are almost like a disease. They need a cure. Don't act on them and don't let them take control of your life.

posted July 07, 2008 11:10 AM         

Looking back in time there was a friendship in my life where I wonder why I was so bothered about someone's feelings when they obviously were either incapable or not motivated to spend a little time thinking how I must feel when my situation was so much worse. Maybe it doesn't apply, and I know I need to read your post through a couple of times to really understand better what is going on in your world, but I thought I would share that. If I had known then what I know now, and all that.