posted July 17, 2008 06:04 AM         

Moved house last Monday with my 3 kids, then as you know l broke off with my man just before that... well l have totally finished it with him and have released so much inner pain etc since l have done that.

I stood up for myself and it empowered me. I realised that for the last 16 years l have missed my first love. I met him when l was 19. We went out for 5 years and l really don't know why l ended it. Maybe l was young and naive.

Anyway we kept in contact and l went to his engagement party (yes, he married someone else). It was very uncomfortable knowing then that l was losing him to another.

We spoke last year and he admitted that he didn't think, in my father's eyes that he was good enough for me
That made me really sad, so l buried my feelings yet again... and now they have all come out. I had the most intense longing for him the last few days... l was imagining him so clearly l could see him right in front of me, remember his touch. Very surreal!

So l emailed him yesterday and i'm going to go and visit him. He has broken up with his wife (2 years ago) and he is now living near her and their two children.

I've never been truly happy since left him... i've been in love but not truly truly happy until l met Mike.

I think i saw my 1st love in Mike (my ex). They are both photographers... anyway, enough. You get the picture - l am a bit confused as to what my feelings for Mike were and what my feelings for my 1st love are LOL

Here is our synastry aspect tables chart. Having a slight problem loading chart at moment!

I would be so happy if you could all just say what you see... l will post the draco too in a minute.

Thanks everyone... i'm interested in why he still is haunting my thoughts and my soul. I was so totally in love with this man, l had permanent twinkles in my eyes for the whole 5 years... but he was away so much on photography and l was only 24 years old... l got lonely

Thank you XOXOXO

posted July 17, 2008 06:04 AM         

(he is horizontally, l am vertically on aspect table

posted July 17, 2008 06:31 AM         

Now I see why you have posted such a Synastry: all Asteroids couldn't come into normal Synastry Chart.
Can you post Synastry with normal planets, Juno and maybe Vertex? That could be enough for me.
I have no idea for hour of birth from my first love.

posted July 17, 2008 06:47 AM         

**EDITED TO ADD JUNO AND VERTEX

posted July 17, 2008 07:51 AM         

I am so happy to have my computer back, thanks. I missed you all!

posted July 17, 2008 08:20 AM         

his birthtime unknown, imp clues are unclear - his Moon, NN, Asc and MC.

posted July 17, 2008 09:12 AM         

As you don't have his hour of birth I am not looking Moon, AC and MC aspects.

Here is very important double trine:
Jupiter - Saturn
(that aspect have most of the couples they love each other)

as also

Saturn trine Sun: means stability.

It is very difficult to look here. I am used to see normal Synastry Chart. You can do it by Astrodienst Zurich.

Buena

posted July 17, 2008 10:27 AM         

Oh yeah, this is the synastry between myself and this chick Natalie Portman that has been after me for years. I think I might give her a try. LOL

posted July 17, 2008 10:52 AM         

NATAL-PROGRESSED:
(has anyone read 'when stars collide?')
His N sun opp my N mars (3)
His N venus quincunx my N sun (1)
His N mars opp my N mars (2)
His N mars opp my N venus (2)

His N venus trine my pr venus (3)
His N mars quincunx my pr mars (0)
His pr sun quincunx my pr sun (0)
His pr venus quincunx my n sun (2)
His pr mars trine my n venus (1)
His pr mars quincunx my n mars (2)

MAGI ASTROLOGY CAC
Geo
Sun quincunx venus – CUPID link
Sun quincunx moon
Sun conjunct Neptune – ROMANCE link
Venus quincunx sun – CUPID link
Venus quincunx mercury – COMMUNICATION link
Jupiter quincunx sun – FORGIVENESS link
Jupiter quincunx mercury – PERFECT COMMUNICATION link
Saturn trine sun – SATURN link
Uranus trine Saturn – SATURN link (and balance)
Pluto trine sun – POWER COUPLE link
Chiron quincunx Pluto – CINDERELLA link

Sun contra mars
Sun contra Pluto – POWER COUPLE link
Moon contra Neptune – ROMANCE link
Moon parallel Pluto – POWER COUPLE link
Mara contra mars – PHYSICAL link
Mars parallel Neptune – LASTING SEXUAL ATTRACTION link
Mars contra Pluto – SEXUAL link
Chiron contra venus – CINDERELLA
Chiron parallel Neptune – LIFETIME LINKAGE, CINDERELLA
Chiron parallel Jupiter – CINDERELLA link

Helio
Saturn trine Pluto – SATURN link
Chiron parallel venus – CINDERELLA link, MAGICAL link

I will put the draco ones up in a while

posted July 17, 2008 11:03 AM         

GG - don't... you know how long it took me to figure that one out myself? months and months lol

posted July 17, 2008 11:19 AM         

in the progressions the Mars-Venus-trine may be another reason for the sudden reappearance in your life.

However, I`m not so sure about the Jupiter-Saturn-dw. It`s pretty generational aspect. But it probably gets more importance, if it is connecte to personal planets or points (I haven`t checked that).

Also, t hat first love of yours, are you sure you really miss him or are you trying to detach emotionally from Mike?
I hope you`re not upset that I am asking this.

posted July 17, 2008 11:24 AM         

his sun opp my siva (1)
his moon trine my sun (2)
his moon trine my mercury (0)
his venus conjunct my moon/amor (0)
his venus conjunct my venus (2)
his venus trine my jupiter (1)
his venus square my vertex (2)
his venus square my valentine (2)
his venus trine my AC (4)
his mars trine my eros (0)
his jupiter sextile my moon/jupiter/amor (0)
his saturn sextile my mars/pluto/isis/MC (0)
his saturn conjunct my valentine (1)
his neptune conjunt my mars (2)
his neptune opposes his neptune (2)
his neptune trine my pluto (3)
his neptune trine my valentine )1)
his pluto sextile my mars/isis (0)
his pluto trine my neptune (3)
his pluto opp my pluto (1)
his pluto trine my valentine (0)
his chiron trine my sun/mercury (1)
his vertex opp my vertex (3)
his juno opp my siva (1)
his juno trine my eros (3)
his osiris opp my vertex (3)
his orisir sextile my isis (2)
his osiris conjunct my valentine (1)
his isis trine my chiron (0)
his isis opp my vertex (4)
his isis sextile my eros (2)
his kaali conjunct my siva (0)
his eros sextile my sun
his eros trine my juno (0) karma (1)
his psyche conjunct my jupiter (2) armor (3)
his psyche conjunct my AC (1)
his karma trine my pluto (1)
his karma conjunct my isis (2)
his karma opp my psyche (1)
his karma conjunct my MC (0)
his valentine sextile my jupiter/amor (0)

posted July 17, 2008 11:30 AM         

I have always thought of my love but l have never before used him to break away from someone else and a few years ago, before l got married another LEO totally broke my heart!

Thing is, l always keep coming back to him in my mind and i have always missed him. WE worked together and the work side of it ended it for me cos l got bored/outgrew the work aspect... wish l had been older and wiser now.

I don't mind you asking at all.. now that l have computer back l will email you tonight too

posted July 17, 2008 12:36 PM         

Well, in answer to your question... l was a very naive 24 year old when we broke up and i had just spent 5 years working with him in the best job in the world, as far as a photographer is concerned.

posted July 17, 2008 12:40 PM         

Lara,

only you can know if you REALLY want your 1st love back.
But I just see a certain risk that you try to get back some happiness, now that you had to experience this pain and disappointment.

It just feels too quick to me, you know?

But honestly, only you can know what you feel.

I can only judge from my own experiences. And I do have the tendency to fall back onto my 1st love, the memory of it, the paradise-like feelings, whenever I kinda "hit a wall". When I am disappointed or scared to move on or something like this. It`s become some kind of safety net to me. I`m over it now, but it has been some kind of pattern.

But I`m only talking about my experience. Maybe yours is totally different, and he really has been your true love. Sometimes 1st loves come back, when both people have matured and I recently read an article, how it can actually work.

DD