posted August 19, 2008 08:47 PM         

She's driving me insane!

I know she cares for me, I feel emotions gushing out of her and flowing into me. Creepy.

But she's really frustrating me! Today she hates me, tomorrow she loves me. Then she'll hate me again the day after tomorrow!

And she argues with me about the stupidest things ever, like wearing a jacket outside just because it's summer.

She only listens to me when I'm upset. She never listens when I want to talk to her NORMALLY. I feel like she takes me for granted and I'm confused beacause I always listen to her whether she's jubilliant or in pain.

And she's really insensitive and naive. At least for me.

She acts like I child when we fight. She won't talk to me and pushes me too far that I wish she dies every passing second and I really want to kill her sometimes (exaggerating people! I'd never do that, even if I want to. But it's the thought that counts? Isn't it?)

So what do you think?

Please help me?

I don't want to judge my mom without knowing her side. I believe Cancers are never that open, even to their daughters.

And can you guess my sun sign, moon sign or ascendant based on my "rant"?

Thanks for your time.

posted August 19, 2008 09:34 PM         

Why not post both your details and maybe someone here can find something which can be of use to you and your Mom.

posted August 19, 2008 09:54 PM         

I don't think I can talk to her about it. I'm afraid I'll upset her or something.

Mom's Chart.

posted August 19, 2008 10:16 PM         

I dont exactly get on with my Dad, but never really attempt to work it out. He is him and I am me. Agree to disagree. If both of you cant talk, then maybe its best you agree to disagree and stay out of each others way, because it sounds like you dont get on.

Distance can help and you might miss the better parts of the person when you have space to yourself.

posted August 20, 2008 02:07 AM         

just reading your post and not being able to give any informative reply makes my stomach hurt so i will probably not going to come back for another look

well i do reply anyway

and sure i will come back to see if others are able to give you something better than me

posted August 20, 2008 03:23 AM         

1st and 2nd houses in conflict can show a lack of self worth. 1st in square to 5th is what it says...she doesn't get on with her child. Uranus, which represents you in her chart, opposes Saturn....her 4th and your 12th.
Can mean anything from you not liking the family/home to you having problems with crime/jail but most likely drugs.
She probably feels this lack of self worth due to providing for her children, or at least attempting to.

If she is on/off/on/off with you, just imagine how she is with herself. Libra rising is all about people pleasing, which can mean she does too much for others.

Anything bad gone on in her life? Is her partner still with her?

Best advice I can give is to be patient with her when she communicates as Juipter opposing Neptune is not the best for concentrating on what someone is saying. Likely to drift off into a daydream at the most random times.

posted August 21, 2008 07:16 AM         

I prefer to keep mine (natal chart) a secret

Thanks for the advice.

Well I do have a cancer moon and let me tell you that I feel like I'm the most worthless person in the world.

So we fought again, it never stops.

She's so moody and it frustrates me.

Any idea how the phases of the moon affects the moods of a cancer?

Like she's happy during a full moon and irritable during a new moon?

Maybe it's because of some financial problems, When we argue I tell her that I wish I was brought up in some other way and that I wish she spent more time with me when I was younger.

We were watching a show about parenting and I told her that I wish she could be more like the mom we saw on tv.

She started crying (FOR THE LOVE OF ONIONS, SHE ALWAYS CRIES!!!)

Which frustrates me (again) because she compares me to every single person she knows. And I keep all my pain inside.

I mean I just want her to love me for who I am.

Anyway, bad move, I should have shut my mouth. I mean comparing a cancer to another mother and telling her she's inferior.

I felt like crushing the shell of a crab.

But at the same time I feel I was right.

posted August 21, 2008 07:38 AM         

I think I understood her more.

It's just her moods.

I can't find I way to tolerate them.

I really want to understand why her mood changes a lot.

posted August 21, 2008 08:13 AM         

Honestly i feel bad for both of u because us cancerians cant seem to control our mood swings and only recognise our moods when someone gets hurt and then we stop and realise how carried away we got with our moods.

Were whingers i think. I really hate this part of me honestly if i had 1 wish i would wish to be normal like everyone else and be the same person every day but im not and during my menstrual cycle IM WORSE!!!

Oh and to people who dont know me im an angel but to the people who know me well are all scared of me when one of my moods kick in lol

posted August 21, 2008 12:03 PM         

That's strange. It's like Cancers have PMS all the time.

She tells me that everytime she's in a bad mood she's hungry. (What?) She just ate 15 minutes ago. I don't believe this statement of her.

My problem is, I almost never act upset.

Does it mean if I get upset I'll get more affection and understanding from my mom?

Like I said, I have a Leo Ascendant. Lions don't like to show weakness.

Do I really have to be upset if I want my cancer mom to understand me?

I mean when I tell her my feelings and opinions, she opposes them all the time.

So we argue and well, I "sort of win" (1 thing I've learn from life is that you can never win an arguement.) and she cries and acts like "I'm the bad one who started it all"

Which upsets me becaause I think It's not my fault if she makes a big deal out of everything.

Don't get me wrong. I love my mom so much.
She's caring and affectionate.
She'll do anything for me.
She supports me.
BUT ONLY WHEN SHE'S IN A GOOD MOOD.

Another question: How can I change a cancer's mood from bad to good?

Is there anyway to do that? Like telling her she won the lottery.

And no offense to the cancers here.

Cancer's are the most funny and considerate people in the world.

I find their sense of humor better than saggitarians.

They're really good looking.

But most important they're good inside too.

I've got a lot of friends who envy me beacause they wish my mom was their's

So thank you all for your time and reply.

posted August 21, 2008 06:58 PM         

I as a cancerian find that if someone approches me with a smile i put my guard down staright away especially with eye contact but a genuwine smile not those smiles where they get you thinking what is this person up to lol

posted August 22, 2008 07:19 AM         

I feel that she's been listening to me and trying to be better.

And I really appreaciate her efforts.

I'll try to smile everytime for her.

It's true I feel that she's in a better mood if I'm smiling.

Thanks to everyone for helping!

posted August 22, 2008 06:27 PM         

I’m so sorry you are having such hard time with you mom. I don’t know how old you are, so I apologize for any assumptions I may make here, but a lot of what you are going through sounds like normal mother / child issues. Especially if you are getting closer to that “growing up and leaving the nest” time. It’s hard on moms (ESPECIALLY Cancer moms) to change their perception of you. To your mom it would seem like just yesterday you were this tiny cute little baby she’d cuddle and protect. Now you are all grown up though (or getting close to it), but she’s not quite ready to see you that way. She doesn’t trust you’ll be safe in this big bad world, and she doesn’t want to let go for fear of seeing you hurt. I think most moms really struggle with this.

I also think that most kids are really hard on their moms through this time. It’s part of our developmental psychology. We grow up, and suddenly our parents are this huge pain in our butts. They are super uncool, and they do nothing but hold us back and annoy us. I think it happens to force the “baby bird out of the nest.” If we never grew angry and resented our parents, we’d never want to leave home, so we’re programmed psychologically to “break free” of our parents at a certain age.

So you are starting to move towards independence, and your mom is TRYING to let it happen, but it’s hard on her. She still wants to protect you, and keep you safe, but you aren’t allowing it any more. She wants to guide you, but she knows she shouldn’t. She feels she’s loosing you, and hates the thought of you leaving her life, because she loves you more than anything in the world. The rules of your relationship are changing - and she's not sure how to play ball any more. In short, she’s torn up inside… if that isn’t a reason to be grumpy I don’t know what is.

And she probably knows how angry you are at her – she’s too empathic not too – and that makes her sad. She is probably just as insecure as you are – wondering if she messed up as a mom, wondering if you hate her, or will ever love her again.

So how do you fix this? In my opinion, you and your mom will not be able to have an “adult” relationship with adult respect for one another until you take some time apart. So my first advice to you is – move out, if you are old enough too. If you already have moved out, then just create some emotional distance between you two. Take some time away from her, and when you come back she’ll be able to see you with new eyes (and hopefully you'll see her in a new light too). She’ll start to see you as an adult. I think this applies to all moms – not just Cancers. I wasn’t able to transition from daughter to friend with my mom, until I was out on my own for a few years.

If you are too young to move out, or you have already moved out and can't creat the distance, then here’s some advice to help you make the best of your time with you mom:

You asked what you could do to help when she’s moody.

Cancer’s are ALWAYS incredibly touched by little gestures. Sit down, and take her hand and say “Mom, you seem a little blue, is there anything I can do to help?” Or you could offer to take her out to the movies, or buy her her favorite ice cream or flowers. Make her dinner. Fix something around the house for her. And don't take no for an answer. She'll try to tell you your kindness isn't necessary - because she won't want to bother you. But just do it - it will mean a lot to her. Make a point of knowing the little things that are important to her, and try to do something nice for her when she’s blue. Nothing will snap a Cancer out of a sad spell quicker than an act of kindness. She’s feel absurdly grateful, and maybe a little guilty, and her heart will swell up with love for you.

And tell her you love her!

posted August 22, 2008 07:37 PM         

I know that I mistake her over protectiveness for control.

Its just that I feel a little suffocated

And she's trying to understand me and I appreaciate her efforts.

Yes, that's what she always tell me...
"Do you love me?", "Am I a bad mother?"

I'm not legal yet so I can't move.

And she'll probably go insane if I do.

I'll do everything you tell me, I'll try.

And I believe you. I am the most important thing in her life.

posted August 22, 2008 10:31 PM         

Judging from your username, you have 3 cancers on your chart?

I don't know, but she told me that when she's younger her playmates know that she's hungry when she's in a bad mood.

Uhm... emotional eating. Haha.

But what I do like is that cancers realize that their moods tend to affect the way they treat others and try to make up for it.

They just can't say sorry, but they do make up for it.