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Author Topic:   Relationships ~ fast or slow?
blue moon
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posted September 08, 2008 08:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for blue moon     Edit/Delete Message
Do you like to take things slowly? Do you like love the thrill of the chase? Or are you an impatient predator?

Does your natal Venus and Mars reveal any preference on this matter?

The recent Venus/Mars Capricorn thread fascinated me, with its keywords: mature, respectful and others I don't recall right now. It was a take it slow and steady situation.

It was like an alien planet. With Aries on my 5th cusp, and its ruler Mars Square Venus, the words impulsive, impatient, demanding are more my thing.

Mars (Aqua, 3rd) clashes with Venus who rules the 7th house on my natal chart. She lives there, too, in her own sign of Taurus. She tries to be sensible, but gets a hard time from Mars. Luckily, Saturn lives in the 7th house too, and tries his best to provide back-up and throw some sense into things. So far, so good.

I still find it odd how long I have been in a relationship with the same person. *yawn* Maybe it helps that he is impulsive, impatient and demanding? (Leo Mars Opposite Sun, Venus in Sag)

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The Mutable Night Force
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posted September 08, 2008 08:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for The Mutable Night Force     Edit/Delete Message
Ooo... interesting thread!

Yeah, I reckon it probably has a lot to do with it.

My Venus is in Leo in 7th house and my Mars is in Gemini and 4th. And yes, I am impatient! I like things fast... don't know if that's due to Gemini Mars needing constant change and excitement... or my Leo Venus just wanting more and more to constantly keep it's ego satisfied! Both, probably.

BM, maybe you can stay in a relationship for so long cos the Aries Mars makes you more concerned with bringing the relationship to a head (ie. getting your love object as quickly as possible) rather than wanting to discard just as quickly?
Don't know, but that what my Aries Moon does for me anyway!

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Got Gemini?
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From: Mercury
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posted September 08, 2008 08:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Got Gemini?     Edit/Delete Message
It depends on what I am looking for. If its not that serious, it doesn't matter. If I think she could be a serious mate, then I would prefer to take it slow and get to know her thorougly.

------------------
Virgo Asc 6˚& Mars 0˚
Gemini Sun 24˚
Libra Moon 14˚(conjunct Pluto 0˚ in 2nd house)
Gemini Mercury 25˚
Cancer Venus 29˚
And yes, i'm a guy!

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Lara
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posted September 08, 2008 08:31 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lara     Edit/Delete Message
I can eat a chicken leg pretty quick

I'm way too fast at jumping into things and am now slowing down due to the boredom of flash in the pan relationships!

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wheelsofcheese
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posted September 08, 2008 08:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for wheelsofcheese     Edit/Delete Message
Hmm, interesting. I have Venus in Sag in the 4th and Mars in Taurus in the 9th.

My Venus wants instant results and I know when and who I love almost instantly. And I want them to tell me, like yesterday. However, if this happens to me the Taurus Mars in me says "Hang on, this person must be an idiot to like me so fast. What's wrong with him? And why doesn't he want to get to know me better before he commits his feelings into words?"

Don't fall in love with me. I am a nightmare.

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blue moon
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posted September 08, 2008 08:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for blue moon     Edit/Delete Message
Sorry, I wrote that badly. Aries is on the cusp of the 5th, but my Mars is in Aqua. Aqua does what it likes, so it will stick around if it feels like it wants to.

His Sun is Conjunct my Mars.

But, yes, I identify with the Martial nature of Aries. I don't want to mess about with thrill of the chase.

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Black_Lily
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posted September 08, 2008 11:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Black_Lily     Edit/Delete Message
I tend to fall in love easy and pretty quick (if I'm single and looking) : Mars in Leo in the 9th. I really ignore all those "warning" and "red alert" signs in my mind when someone catches my eye, on the contrary: I chase them... I always give the other person the benefit of the doubt first. I'm very optimistic towards him.

But after a while me Venus in Cancer in the 8th comes out to play too. She wants to get to know the other person in a deeper way, wants to know everything about them, but what she finds is usually ALL bad (not joking). Then she gets very sensitive, upset, sad about certain things like those "red alerts", unforgiving, etc. She desides, probably correct, that the relationship is no good and has to end. Just a shame she's very clingy and doesn't seem to be able to let go...

*sigh* so relationships are always a big, big drama for me. (also because all of the other hard aspects in my chart)

------------------
Asc: Scorpio

Sun: Leo
Moon: Taurus

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jane
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posted September 09, 2008 04:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jane     Edit/Delete Message
Instant slow motion.

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GemLover
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posted September 09, 2008 05:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GemLover     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
My feelings may have been spontaneous, but my actions weren't.

This sounds like me in a way.

The weird thing with me is that I don't even become attracted to someone very often. I'm strangely selective, but not in a conscious way - it's just that there are not that many men that I am actually THAT attracted to. I can't do 'casual', as in sleeping with someone just for the hell of it, like many people I know seem to, and I would never get into a relationship with someone who I didn't feel intensely attracted to either emotionally or physically. If it's not intense then I'm not interested. (Scorpio moon, Pluto square ASC/DSC, Pluto trine Venus).

So, having said that - if someone does capture my interest, it's almost instantaneous (Aries on the 5th house cusp, and it's ruler Mars square my Venus). Whether things HAPPEN quickly, my Taurus sun in the 5th house is reasonably passive about it and it depends on how quickly the man in question is going to move. I like the man to set the pace, but at the same time if it's too slow in the beginning stages of flirting (Venus in Gemini) then I lose interest. I like there to be a certain amount of Aries-ness from them.

BUT If the flirting is maintained and I'm very attracted, then I can go for a long time just basking in the attraction and the excitement before anything develops further - but it will never be me who really initiates.

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23
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From: Outside, to watch the nightfall in the rain
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posted September 09, 2008 06:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 23     Edit/Delete Message
I never do flings myself and I am reallllllyy slooooooooow. I'm a lot like GL actually. Many a man I have rejected. A lot of it is caused by wanting a serious relationship and I take my time to analyse and get to know the other party. Fling prospects don't even get to first base with me and why the fook should I chase them? They can chase ME!

I really don't know what causes this but here are some reasons why maybe:
* 5th house cusp is leo, sun in aqu (opp saturn) - seek loyalty but am very cold and distant
* DC libra, venus in sag/9th - again permanence of some relationship and freedom.
* Having pluto conj DC - seeking maybe intense tranformative relationship

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jane
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posted September 10, 2008 02:00 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jane     Edit/Delete Message
GemLov-
The way you described the usual progression of your relationships reminds me so much of my SO! He has an Aries Venus (similar to your Aries 5th house giving an instant attraction) and a Taurus Sun (also making him passive and patient about the pace).

quote:
I can go for a long time just basking in the attraction and the excitement before anything develops further - but it will never be me who really initiates.

So much like him!

quote:
I'm strangely selective, but not in a conscious way

I've always been like that too. I did always spend time (probably too much time) analyzing him and me and if we should become a "we." BUT my main criteria was to have that strong, instant attraction in the first place. Without it, I wasn't interested. So my selectivity was operating at an intuitive, preconscious level.

Sometimes I wonder if I were single again if I'd still be so slow with entering a new relationship. And I really don't think I would be. I'd more readily trust my intuition.

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haybelly
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posted September 10, 2008 01:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for haybelly     Edit/Delete Message
my venus is aquariuas and mars aries.

Venus is in 5th house and mars in 7.

I plundered through life and really never found anyone attractive to me, I was very picky. I wanted a soulmate and waited for that. When I met my husband I KNEW from the moment I looked in his eyes, he was the one. We courted, married, and had a baby all in a year's time and are still together. Today is his birthday. I am 10 years older than him.


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SparklingSag
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posted September 10, 2008 02:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SparklingSag     Edit/Delete Message
Hey folks,

interesting thread!

hmm, my venus (and mars) in libra makes me feel incomplete without a partner...but my Saggie sun loves independence! so have found a conflict there. But i love a man who is charming, well presented, can make me laugh and who is a friend and partner.

But i'm not so sure having mars in libra is so much fun...it's not very fiery! and i feel like sometimes I think too much and over analyse about relationships rather than just DOING and giving something a go even if i'm not sure....


Sparkling

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Seeing Stars 7.21
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posted September 12, 2008 02:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Seeing Stars 7.21     Edit/Delete Message
I gravitate towards emotionally and physically intense relationships. sometimes even intellectually. the mood is always calm dreamy when the initial hanging out.. growing on eachother moments are happening sometimes often playful like it was made up in a movie. feelings are exchanged and expected fast. within a couple of months of officially dating it wont be uncommon for I love you and want to be with you for the rest of my life phrases to be used. but the actual relationship reaches a heavenly point and eventually get somewhat turbulent and die down with one or both partners getting hurt. they last around a period of half a year. 6 months give or take a month. only two serious ones so far. the breakdown can be blamed on both partners. but maybe more on me.

my Venus Gemini. square AC and square descendant in Pisces. Venus opposed Saturn and Uranus. Trine Moon in Libra.

Mars Aries in the 7th house square saturn uranus and neptune. trine sun sextile jupiter.

the Ruler of my AC opposes the ruler of my DC creating a second axis kind of.

how this all factors into my relations i do not know. but the ruler of your 8th house in the 7th house has been cited to bring sorrow in connection with affection. it prolly doesnt help being a malefic.

does anybody else have the ruler of their 8th house located in the 7th?? please raise your hand and tell me if you see identify with this.

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blue moon
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posted September 12, 2008 02:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for blue moon     Edit/Delete Message
The ruler of my 8th house is in the 7th. That planet is Mercury.

Do I identify with relationships causing sorrow? Well, you can't realistically expect them to be one long honeymoon. And what you are describing there is a passionate start to a relationship that subsequently fizzles out. There's different perspectives on why that happens often. Unrealisitic expectations? Not prepared to work at a relationship after the 'honeymoon period' is over? Not the right person for each other? The relationship has fulfilled its purpose?

Not everything is meant to last forever, but if you feel like you are caught in a trap then there might be questions to be answered.

If I am brutually honest with myself I would say I sometimes take for granted the security and contentment of having a happy marriage and forget not everyone is in that situation.

But I have put in a lot of effort into my relationship (with my husband). Like anyone we have had problems to face with money, family, health, etc and life can be tough. There are no magic answers but I think a bit of luck does come into the picture. "Marriage is a lottery" is something I've heard people say more than once.

Do you have any planets in your 8th house? This is what Janis Huntley says in "Astrologocial Voids: Exploring the Missing Components in the Birth Chart":

quote:
Ruler of Empty Eighth Placed in the 7th

The subject strongly desires a deep, permanent relationship which is founded very much upon sexual proclivity, but which is also highly communicative and united in all areas of life. Sometimes the subject can be extremely demanding within a relationship. Partner's financial resources and possessions are regarded as his own, and there is a powerful need for this person to feel totally loved and one hundred percent committed. There are no half measures here.


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haybelly
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posted September 12, 2008 08:46 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for haybelly     Edit/Delete Message
Blue moon

I will have to disagree with you a tad. I have been on a 13 year honeymoon, it gets better every day.

I am glad you do have a good relationship! It makes life so much more.

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Seeing Stars 7.21
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posted September 12, 2008 12:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Seeing Stars 7.21     Edit/Delete Message
blue moon. that last citation couldnt have described me better. I do look for the deepest. I dont do the fickle things or "dating". if Im interested in someone I want a relationship. I can be demanding but this is in direct relation with all that I give in the relationship. I will regard mine is yours and yours is mine .. yes intensity and deep and total love. since its ruled by aries this prolly strengthens that drive and demand. wanting everything now.

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blue moon
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posted September 12, 2008 01:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for blue moon     Edit/Delete Message
It's more like me than I would care to admit. It's hard work being my boyfriend.

You can see the principle she is working on ~ it is the energies of the 8th house applied to the 7th. It's depth, intensity, and the Scorpionic nature of the 8th. Not the sorrow and the denial of a happy and lasting relationship. I'd just say, realistically, it increases the chances of this not being an easy ride.


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Seeing Stars 7.21
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posted September 12, 2008 11:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Seeing Stars 7.21     Edit/Delete Message
it never is.. I thought you were married? u dont need to worry about the bfs. I also realized my Pluto is in scorpio in my other venusian house (the second) which is ruled by Libra.

by the way. I also have a libra moon and i always try to see both sides. Im just incapable of agreeing with that or forgiving.. heheh it sounds silly. shes dead and all and I never knew her.. but she was an iconic woman for me.. especially in West Side Story.

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teaselbaby
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posted September 13, 2008 12:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for teaselbaby     Edit/Delete Message
I can relate to Jane, 23, and GemLover ~ I have Venus in Gemini, aspecting my Moon, Uranus, Jupiter, Pluto, and Mars (Pisces), but I'm very cautious in the way that Jane described (I also have a Scorpio ascendant), and am hardly ever romantically attracted to anyone. I also have no interest in flings (no matter what you may have read about those of us with Venus in Gemini ).

I'm trying to be less cautious, but I'd rather be single than get involved just to have someone there.

My Chart

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blue moon
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posted September 13, 2008 02:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for blue moon     Edit/Delete Message
You are right, I am legally married and have been for a long time. He's not the easiest of men and to this he says, you're no picnic, either. If we are being hypothetical and there was another boyfriend on the scene, I doubt he would reach a strikingly different opinion.

To paraphrase a previous boyfriend (not husband), ideals are things we strive towards. Capricorn. Very sensible, and sharp of wit.

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GemLover
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posted September 13, 2008 03:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GemLover     Edit/Delete Message
Celebrity example - Marc Bolan. I've been reading his biography and his approach to love was very interesting, it's like he kept repeating a similar pattern.

His relevant placements are Aries on the 5th house, Aries moon, Libra sun and Venus.

First serious girlfriend Theresa (Terry), he was with her for a few years I believe, and even namechecked her on the notes of his first album.

However that relationship promptly ended when he met June Child. He had arrived for a meeting and she worked in the office. After one conversation (in which they just clicked), he had fallen in love. He called her at the office that same day and said that he needed to see her. She went to his house, he offered her a bowl of muesli and they went outside and ate muesli on the lawn. He then handed her a poem that he had written that afternoon, and said "I'm in love with you." From that moment they were a serious couple and Theresa was suddenly his girlfriend no more!

While June and he were a serious couple, during a recording session he was love(or was it lust!)-stricken at first sight when soul singer Marsha Hunt walked into the room. Their eyes met and the atmosphere was electric. After the recording session, they simply walked out arm in arm into the night...

When June discovered the affair, she was suitably furious and Marc was both upset and guilt-ridden. To make it up to June (and I suppose, to salvage the relationship) he proposed and they were promptly married.

A few years into the marriage, when Marc was in LA he met and fell in love with another soul singer, Gloria Jones. He left June and became engaged to Gloria (who also became his backing singer), going on to have a son with her. When Marc died in 1977 he was not yet divorced from June and so he and Gloria never married.

I think his propensity for instant attraction/love at first sight was VERY much a combo of his Aries 5th house and Aries moon, along with the romanticism of his Libra sun and Venus. Each of his three serious relationships prompted him to write poetry and many songs inspired by the women he loved, and with Gloria he collaborated musically on duets (and even included her singing solo on one of his albums). So there is the "instant" effect of Aries on the 5th as myself and others experience, but with the added intensity of his Aries moon to really fire things up. (He was also born on a full moon).

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23
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posted September 13, 2008 04:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 23     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
I think his propensity for instant attraction/love at first sight was VERY much a combo of his Aries 5th house and Aries moon, along with the romanticism of his Libra sun and Venus.

I think its also because the 5th house ruler, mars, is anarectic in cancer/8th, so all that drive is emotional/intense/intimiate, its terribly strong and he desperately wants to use it before time is up (anarectic). He also has mars square his mercury (ruler of DC, relationships), which tends to make him think in haste, love ---> relationship really quick (and with difficulty of conversion too - square). Btw, I just noticed his mars in your 8th GL

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GemLover
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posted September 13, 2008 05:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GemLover     Edit/Delete Message
YES! After I made my post I remembered the Mars in Cancer. Definitely a big part of his personality - he often mentioned that he felt that his time on earth was short and that because of this he lived at a speed that most people don't (or something to that effect, I'm not directly quoting).

I hadn't noticed the Mars square Mercury though, excellent point. I think his Vertex might be close to his Mars as well, and POF conjunct his DC.

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