posted September 17, 2008 11:59 PM         

Since Sept 7th....roughly...and July for father... I have detached myself from all male's...who played a somewhat romantic or significantly prominant role/friendship in my life....

i had a destructive/chaotic experience with my father (gemini) in july for the first time since 2001...he has an alcoholic/abusive inclination....

i dropped all communication with my ex - we broke up early this year... he was a liar/etc...

had 2 other male friends i had been somewhat romantic with....who had been sucking the life out of me....

i ended it all..

now im just me, alone, and its rather nice to try to re-connect....i am swamped with work, finishing up last year of lawschool, and trying to get a job, pass the bar, etc.

i feel stronger in my identity, and remained honest with each man in my life, but, they all had serious issues...mental (gemini), emotional (leo), and manipulative (virgo), all to some degree...

this is the first time in a long time i am completely disinterested in the opposite sex... which i know is good, yet at the same time, i know that i probably, in all liklihood, will not put myself out there, so to speak, til late 2010....just a feeling, (post bar, 1 year into work, etc.)

i am also starting to feel like... i have rather, high standards.... in light of my experiences with men.... i mean i am patient and perservering, but, at the same time, i expect...maybe they are normal expectations nonetheless, but i expect devotion, honesty, idealism, friendship, passion, commitment, freedom also... and optimism.... i havent been able to find that mesh...and i hope i am not placing too much on the other person? or maybe, i was stuck in a bad relationship for so long, i have nothing left to give right now, until i complete and overcome the current professional obstacles at bar.

socially, i have made friends- more so than the previous 2-3 years.... similar to 2002-2005... but, i have no desire to go out, i just stay home, paint, have wine, relax, do work, etc....

health wise-- oh my, terrible eating habits, lost a lot of weight, smoke like crazy, ran a marathon in 07, and can count on one hand the number of times ive ran since then.

anyone see things in my chart that can shed light on what i am going through, and whether i will ever find that "one" ? with an empty 7th house, sun in sag (love freedom YET) squaring moon in pisces (love passionate attention... and venus in capricorn in the 12th...i feel like i expect alot from a partner...and i am so conflicted....

i obsessively read my transits and such on astro.com, and although accurate to an extent, i would like to hear some responses from my fellow linda-landers....

thanks so much ; )

and be blunt, candid, and tell me strait, no matter how bad...

my chart + transits:
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c82/jkarapetian/artemiss.gif

posted September 18, 2008 05:11 AM         

You've got a Jupiter return, the Progressed Moon is also activating your Venus/Jupiter conjunction. They will pass.

Nothing wrong with high standards unless they become so high they are unrealistic.

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devotion, honesty, idealism, friendship, passion, commitment, freedom also... and optimism

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I wonder what you mean by freedom and devotion?

Maybe you are hoping for a mature, adult relationship with someone you can trust. That isn't too much to ask. But if you are expecting someone to remain devoted and faithful to you whilst you do whatever you like, you might end up disappointed.

What have you got to offer a partner? Relationships are a two way thing. Could you offer both freedom and devotion, and what does this mean? I don't doubt it is possible, I'm not questioning that, I just wonder if you could be all those things on that list as well? It's a question for you, not me, really.

The 7th being empty I don't think is itself a problem indicating lack of romantic success. But what is the 7th's ruler doing? Well, it's in the 10th house, reinforcing the Capricorn nature of Venus. Where Venus is Conjunct expansive Jupiter, the Sun in Conjunct freedom-loving Uranus. So needs freedom, whilst Capricorn Venus wants devotion.

In Astrological Voids, Janis Huntley writes of the ruler of the empty 7th in the 10th house:

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The partner may be put on a pedestal and regarded as a status symbol. The subject enjoys publicity and admiration and feels that this can be enchanced if this partner is also a willing showpiece. It is vital that the subject can feel proud of his spouse, and to this end he will not be ashamed to exploit her abilities and talents. Although the seventh house is empty the subject may strongly desire a succesful, fulfilling relationship and may strive very hard to achieve this aim, but it is often difficult for the subject to view his partner as an individual.

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posted September 18, 2008 07:51 PM         

tSat is in your 7th house of relationships, showing a slow down there.

I'm currently doing the same thing as you and I know it was from tPluto, which was why I knew it would be in your chart, touching something.

posted September 18, 2008 09:15 PM         

Back in July '08, transiting Saturn in the 7th house was squaring your natal Sun (the father, men, vitality, life force), ruler of the 7th house of partnerships and others, positioned in the 10th house of father and career. You could have felt limited by others and your father. You also could have been tired and burdened somehow, resulting in a time of shunning public attention. This could have been a time of problems and restriction from your superiors at work, especially males and older males, and a time when you had to work very hard to gain recognition. Possibly, you felt like you weren't receiving any accolades at all.

You still have transiting Saturn in the 7th house of others/partnerships at the moment. That can be a time of isolating yourself from partners both business and pleasure and difficulties with others. The people you have in your life at the moment could have Saturnine tendencies or you expect that of them, so dutiful, responsible and commitment attributes. They also could be older or seem mature in some manner.

Transiting Saturn is also conjuncting the progressed Descendant and opposing the progressed Ascendant at less than 2 degrees. Saturn rules the father as well as limitations, so with it opposing your Ascendant/conjuncting Descendant, that can be a time of restrictions when dealing with others and your father.

With Saturn opposing the progressed Ascendant, it's also a time of restrictions and limitations for yourself and a time of realism, practicality, determination, achievement and accomplishments through very hard work. It's not usually a fun time, but a time to apply yourself and work towards a goal, which in your case is your career, professional obligations and professional obstacles at bar. That's achievable because transiting Saturn is currently squaring your natal Uranus, change, in the 10th house, which is ruler of your Ascendant. You do have to watch out for unexpected happenings and occurrences with Uranus though.

posted September 18, 2008 10:10 PM         

funny that pluto turned direct sept 8...because i ended my relationship with my ex (cheating virgo... 2 yr r'ship) march 26th... and pluto went retrograde on april 2!!!

wow. well Virgo and I maintained contact throughout the past 6 months. and i put all communication to a halt and "friendship" (b/c we were not friends, with persistent disrespect and lies....) on sept 7th...

write-something: good memory ; )

astroleolady: absolutely right.

I met Mr. Leo end of June. He is 24 years older than me. Met him at work (interesting, 10th house....career, etc)

July 28, went back to NY for my last year of law school (was in CA for summer) and things started to change....

Being a Leo /Scorpio moon, i loved his intensity! Since I essentially worked all day and night all summer, we saw each other frequently. However, I warned him that, once I returned to NY, and had classes, interviews, work, etc., I hope he would understand that the intensity level would probably simmer down a little... i.e. no 10 phone calls a day, 100 texts, and when it started to, because I work everyday, have classes everyday, and preparing for everything to come in 2009 (move back to cali, new job, bar exam, etc) there is a lot on my plate....

But, he sent a card EVERY DAY, so sweet, bought me gifts, which I told him, to not do, and to stop doing, but id get packages... every few days. And it became TOO MUCH. Not just because I don't like being lavished by gifts, which I dont to THAT degree, but it was because I had told him that I am not the type to say "I love you" everytime I hang up the phone- it ruins the meaning behind the word to me, and is not something I like to exploit.

He started to get upset when I wouldnt say it back.

He got upset we couldnt talk everynight for an hour or two (he is a very very very big talker, repeats same stories, in same ways 3-4 times a day, which was OK in the begining, even though I would say 1-2 sentences per 20 minute intervals)

I felt as though he was obsessed with me, my physical appearance, trying to possess me, building a desk for me so i could study at his house for my bar exam in july 2009!! which made me uncomfortable, having that degree of responsibility and committment at so early of a stage (8 weeks)

The more I asked him to turn it down a notch, he got frustrated and cried, daily, and a darker side of him came out.I had told him I could not promise him everything, that it was too soon, time and time again.

He started telling me about his financial problems every day, which made me feel guilty accepting packages from a man who was not in a position to do so, when I did not want the gifts to begin with.

Started complaining about his difficult relationship with his chilren. ex wives. bad childhood. bad mother. etc.

I didnt discriminate against the baggage in the begining, because it wasnt constatnly brought to light, daily, with his crying, and frustration... at 8 weeks, I feel like that is too much too soon?

He flew out to see me which only killed it for us.(when I told him not to, but he pushed and pushed and pushed for 3 weeks, and finally i let in, and he got his way)

After he left, he called and claimed to be ill. I said I was sorry and hope he got better. He said why cant you just say I love you? I said I do, but I wont say it 50 times per day. Especially when it is demanded.

We hung up...he called and told me he couldnt see me anymore, because he loved me more than I loved him, and that "i would never find somebody as strong and good as him..." right...

Anyway, rather long winded, but there was a lot out there, and it feels good to get it off my chest. Thank you.

bluemoon:

posted September 19, 2008 12:59 AM         

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he got frustrated and cried, daily

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tsk, tsk ,tsk.

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and that "i would never find somebody as strong and good as him..." right...

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