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Author
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Topic: Making Up With The Signs
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deuxantares
Knowflake Posts: 1197
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted September 18, 2008 12:51 PM
 
How?
Where do we look, just the sun sign?
Your signs/placements please and what/how do you want the other person to do it (and you feel he/she is at fault).(i'm talking about romantic or any other kind of relationship) IP: Logged |
deuxantares
Knowflake Posts: 1197
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted September 18, 2008 01:05 PM
Though my Libra Venus wants to forgive-and-forget right away, my Scorpio Sun/Moon requires that the other person admit that he was wrong and apologize. Problem is when he doesn't think he was wrong. My tendency is to shut him out and it makes things worse. IP: Logged |
sunshine_lion
Knowflake Posts: 919
From: ann arbor mi
Registered: Apr 2008
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posted September 18, 2008 01:15 PM
women have a tendancy to go on and on about a subject until she thinks he "REally" gets it...I have been trying really really hard not to do that. I am sure he heard me the first time...urgh.I prefer grovelling and small gifts. sun moon merc - leo
taurus - asc IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Knowflake Posts: 2160
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007
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posted September 18, 2008 03:15 PM
Apologies... hmmm... I don't like long, drawn out apologies. I hate being begged because I find it annoying and irritating. (I generally don't like people who repeat themselves and I find it not too genuine when a person is flamboyant with an apology.) I prefer an apology to be unspoken, and if you have to speak it, I prefer for it to be brief. But if YOU like speeches, knock yourself out but don't go on and on for my benefit.Be brief and concise. The words, "I'm sorry" are not enough, though. If you are going to say them, please let me know why you are sorry otherwise, save it. Men have a tendency to just say "I'm sorry" and not knowing what they are apologizing for The fact of the matter is: If I am going to forgive you, I have probably forgiven you way before you apologize, so no matter how you apologize intrinsically, it doesn't matter. If I have not forgiven you, it doesn't matter what you do because what you say will not matter. Virgo Sun (11th)
Cancer Moon (10th}
Scorpio Asc
Virgo Venus (11th)
Scorpio Mars (1st) IP: Logged |
Kick It
Knowflake Posts: 1032
From: Leeds
Registered: May 2008
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posted September 18, 2008 04:02 PM
1st house. I dunno, imagine a Cancer who wants to make up with someone, or their partner did them wrong. Maybe they might start off with a bit of emotional manipulation to make them sweat a bit. Well, they do have the upper hand.IP: Logged |
deuxantares
Knowflake Posts: 1197
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted September 18, 2008 04:16 PM
Thanks for the response, guys.Sunshine, grovelling 
What kind of small gifts? Kick It, heyyy I want more of your thoughts on this. The person in question is a Libra male. As a Libra, is it difficult for you to apologize? What is your style of making up? And why First House? Why Cancer, because of the moon? IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Knowflake Posts: 2160
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007
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posted September 18, 2008 04:17 PM
By my description above, I'd say my 11th house or its tenants are the ones who deal with apologies. the Sun in Virgo (11th house tenant/11th house ruler) and Venus in Virgo (11th house tenant/7th house ruler). IP: Logged |
deuxantares
Knowflake Posts: 1197
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted September 18, 2008 04:22 PM
Unmoved,Yes, an apology should not only be sincere but also concise.  Yes again to knowing what the apology is for. It means that the person doing the apology is aware of what he/she has exactly done/said to the injured party. I see being able to offer a sincere apology as a sign of maturity and decency. IP: Logged |
meta_4
Knowflake Posts: 1987
From:
Registered: Apr 2008
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posted September 18, 2008 04:23 PM
I need an eloquent soliloquy and complete vulnerability. Tears. Even if it's not a sobbing, "I'm so sorry... God i love you so much...", a welling of the eyes would hit hard as well. But the crying is only necessary if he's hurt me deeply.Leo Sun
Aqua Moon
Venus Cancer
Mars Taurus
Scopio ASC... am i. IP: Logged |
Kick It
Knowflake Posts: 1032
From: Leeds
Registered: May 2008
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posted September 18, 2008 04:25 PM
I dont really do much making up. Either dont like the person to make up to, or nothing that needs making up.1st house because it is your personality, how you do things, action. Libra Sun, but Aquarius Asc, I think. What is the guys ASC?
IP: Logged |
deuxantares
Knowflake Posts: 1197
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted September 18, 2008 04:36 PM
Kick It,Libra Asc.  IP: Logged |
Kick It
Knowflake Posts: 1032
From: Leeds
Registered: May 2008
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posted September 18, 2008 04:39 PM
Well I guess he will behave in a Libra kind of way. Whatever that is.IP: Logged |
deuxantares
Knowflake Posts: 1197
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted September 18, 2008 04:39 PM
Meta, but men are usually tears-challenged. How do you know they're sincere?IP: Logged |
sunshine_lion
Knowflake Posts: 919
From: ann arbor mi
Registered: Apr 2008
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posted September 18, 2008 04:49 PM
ok grovelling is a bit much. but sincerity is a must and the fact that some men will apologize without actually acknowledging what it is they have wronged to keep the peace. so to me you must acknowledge the offense and be sincere and small gifts do not hurt.I also, when apologizing will be sincere and concise for what I am apologizing for and ask for forgiveness. Either way if you accept an apology the rule for me is the matter is resolved and must not be brought up again or it makes the aploogy and forgivness null and void and therefore is not fair. kick it where have you been? IP: Logged |
deuxantares
Knowflake Posts: 1197
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted September 18, 2008 04:49 PM
Kick It, i think you are right. There was a bit of misunderstanding more than a week ago and I sent a letter afterwards making it clear that what he did p1ss3d me. The funny thing is he let one week pass and then came back as if nothing happened, no reference whatsoever to my letter. My point is, by not reacting to what i said in the letter it's like he "invalidated" everything i wrote. And it doesn't sit well with my Scorpioness. Now, I actually said i want an apology. He said "What for?". Do i really have to spell it out or should i just brush this off and charge it to an air/water difference? This is my first time dealing with a Libra. My question is: this is typical Libra? He is thinking this is a woman thing, right? I'm asking you because you are a Libra male. IP: Logged |
sunshine_lion
Knowflake Posts: 919
From: ann arbor mi
Registered: Apr 2008
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posted September 18, 2008 04:53 PM
that would bug the crap out of me. we all want to be heard and validated. even if you just say, i am sorry my actions hurt your feelings, at least you acknowledge the feelings. especially since you took the time to write it out. maybe he didn't get your letter? IP: Logged |
deuxantares
Knowflake Posts: 1197
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted September 18, 2008 05:01 PM
Sunshine, exactly!I don't want it to become a battle of wills because i know he will lose to this Scorpio. He did. All my emails to him are CC'd to my other email which is on the same email provider as his. That means if I receive one, he also receives a copy. I am very vigilant about justice because I have a Libra stellium. Oh well, maybe this is a lesson telling me that I should not expect too much from people. IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Knowflake Posts: 2160
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007
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posted September 18, 2008 05:08 PM
duex - Don't get me wrong... a trinket always makes an apology classier and easier to digest, but it does not erase the hurts. And if it isn't thoughtful, keep it! I hate impersonal gifts like jewelry; unless I have previously pointed out a certain piece and said I liked it, don't bother(if your trinket costs more than my car, you're being stupid but I'll take it.).
If you happen to remember little details from what you have noticed about me and have incorporated it in your gift... You're a keeper because it means you pay attention.Or, a week/month or so after the apology, do something nice for me, to just make me feel certain that I didn't make a mistake for forgiving you. Knowing me, I will have forgiven you but I would still be watching you like a hawk, waiting for you to stuff up again. If you are a repeat offender, your chances of getting in the good books are very slim indeed and and the more you stuff up, the closer you get to the Unforgivables aka Death Row. These include: 1. Repeat offenders (you don't mean what you say. )
2. Cheating
3. Abuse
4. Non-compatible sexual preference (being on the Down Low on my watch.)
5. Secret love child/children (why didn't you tell me?)
6. STDs. (where did you get that **** from, because it's not from me?) My point is, apologies depend on the crime. IP: Logged |
sunshine_lion
Knowflake Posts: 919
From: ann arbor mi
Registered: Apr 2008
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posted September 18, 2008 05:10 PM
Some people just aren't comfortable with feelings, maybe thats why he acted like nothing happened.Guys sometimes think, I will give her a week, she will get over it and we will be back the way we were. lovey dovey. seriously. Some think like that. I have found what works in that case, and this may sound cold, a healthy dose of thier own medicine. Do it back, whatever he did, that is the only thing some understand. I know that sounded ugly, but it is sometimes necessary to get it through someones head how something made you feel is to make them feel it back. add: unmoved - repeat offenders need not waste thier breath, nor the other things you listed. cheat beat or otherwise mistreat I am more talking about insensitive comments that hurt, unfair fighting, below the belt off subject, or forgetting something important...by small gift I mean anything that is reflective of who you are...I brought you a carmel cheesecake because it is your favorite, or just a gesture type thing. Although jewels are acceptable IP: Logged |
Unmoved
Knowflake Posts: 2160
From: Born in S.Africa
Registered: Jun 2007
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posted September 18, 2008 05:13 PM
oooooh!! he asked, "what for?" tsk tsk tsk ...big BIG mistake!IP: Logged |
blue moon
Moderator Posts: 4700
From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007
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posted September 18, 2008 05:15 PM
Honestly? Make me a cup of tea and forget about it. Gemini Sun Trine Mars in Aqua.  I work on a short-fuse. One blast of argument and it is gone. If it needs to be said I will opt for either a short apology, or will say: you behaved like a w@nker. There's no need to analyse it to death. Him? Sun Aqua OPP Mars Leo. Terrible temper, all the drama *yawn*. Never apologises. But doesn't go on about it, either. IP: Logged |
deuxantares
Knowflake Posts: 1197
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted September 18, 2008 05:18 PM
quote:
Guys sometimes think, I will give her a week, she will get over it and we will be back the way we were. lovey dovey.
Yes, you are spot on again. Men sometimes think "oh maybe it's just that time of the month. Better lay low for a while."
IP: Logged |
deuxantares
Knowflake Posts: 1197
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006
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posted September 18, 2008 05:22 PM
Unmoved, re your Virgo list:  Items 2, 3, 5, and 6 are hard to forgive. I think it should be one-offense-and-you're-out. Items 1 and 4 may be open to negotiations. I remember the Madea clip IP: Logged |
meta_4
Knowflake Posts: 1987
From:
Registered: Apr 2008
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posted September 18, 2008 05:30 PM
Deux, quote:
Meta, but men are usually tears-challenged. How do you know they're sincere?
Well, my friend, i am an expert in the art of emotion. SO if he's sniffling and it's all an act- if there's no desperation or anguish behind it- i'll spot it. And then i'll be even MORE upset. I'm very demanding. But then again, i'm only really attracted to watery men. So if he isn't in agony about how much he hurt my feelings, than i probably shouldn't be with him anyways. IP: Logged |
meta_4
Knowflake Posts: 1987
From:
Registered: Apr 2008
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posted September 18, 2008 05:34 PM
Unmoved, quote:
Don't get me wrong... a trinket always makes an apology classier and easier to digest, but it does not erase the hurts. And if it isn't thoughtful, keep it! I hate impersonal gifts like jewelry; unless I have previously pointed out a certain piece and said I liked it, don't bother
YES! I feel the same way. Jewlery is soooo impersonal. I hate it. I don't like material things. I'd much rather have something small and sentimental. Like a movie stub from a first date, or a letter. What are your placements? I wonder what makes us feel like that... IP: Logged |
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