posted October 21, 2008 10:22 AM         

He had a tough breakup a year earlier, his GF was cheating on him so his friends were really supportive of us being together.
Ironically, a few months later he ended up hooking up with his ex GF while we were together.
I played it off - said -- "I don't care, not a big deal... totally fine, don't worry about it...we weren't exclusive"
In reality, I was devastated, because we were friends... it was just so disloyal...ya know?

He avoided me for the rest of the year... then, his friends basically ditched him b/c of the whole thing.
Clearly my friends were angry b/c I was upset... but I pretended things were fine, never yelled at him or was b*tchy.
Trying to be the bigger person, I wrote him a letter after graduation and wished him well in the future.

He has been calling me and texting me ever since. I haven't seen him in over 3 years
but he STILL calls me and texts me on a regular basis: 2-3x a month.
I don't pickup his calls...he never leaves voicemails...our texts are usually: 'how are you?' "good, you?" 'good'
When he's in NY, he'll has asked to see me... weirdly enough, the past 3-4x he is in NY, I'm somewhere else.

What do you think this means... why is he still contacting me?
We weren't serious, we never said I love you... never were "official"...
Is it that he still feels guilty? Is this normal for a Scorpio man...
To be honest, yeah, I sort of still have feelings for him, but I just wanna get over it.
How do I nicely tell him to stop contacting me...
He'll be visiting the city in a few weeks, on his birthday, and a part of me wants to see him...
The rational part of me thinks: no way - don't open that bag of worms...
Anyone have advice on how to deal with a Scorpio man?

posted October 21, 2008 06:46 PM         

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posted October 21, 2008 06:54 PM         

Yes, I agree with what your comments.

I definitely think he could sense that I had put up a barrier... additionally, I think he is the type to need a certain amount of reassurance and security in relationships. I am the first to admit that I have trouble when it comes to being vulnerable or emotional in casual relationships. That's definitely my fault, and I don't care about how it ended... but I just wonder WHY he's so insistent about contacting me. I don't initiate the contact, I barely respond to it... I don't want to encourage him, but yet, he doesn't get the point. I chalk it up to him being drunk and just "drunk dialing" but, he lives in another city and we haven't seen in eachother in so long... you'd think he'd move on.... I dunno...

posted October 21, 2008 07:23 PM         

Well you hit the nail on the head with this one. Having 3 Scorpio planets plus a Cancer Moon will definitely lead to needing a great deal of reassurance and security in relationships. All deeply water-influenced people have this want and need in a relationship.

posted October 22, 2008 09:53 AM         

1. Cancer Moon is Clingy. Think Scorpion intensity along with Cancer clinginess.
2. His Sun and Moon are both in Water. Yours in Air.
3. Your Saturn in Scorpio can be dangerous here because Saturn would restrict you and give you hard time in expressing Scorp energies.
(E.g. everytime you try to take a revenge or try to even out a situation the Scorpio way, you will be disappointed because you didn't do something right. Yeah. That is what this PIG does on you. Always makes you feel you haven't worked hard enough in expressing Scorpionic energies.)
4. He has little Fire in the chart.. Honest fights in relationship are relatively less from him and Manipulative fights are at a very high intensity.. (I was hoping for Leo, Libra or Aries Moon)
5. If for any reason you detach slightly, it will involve tremendous pressure (so ask your Aqua Sun and Gem Moon one more time) in a relationship.
6. Once you are into a relationship with this Scorpio and it seems like an explosive sexual chemistry that can build up. After that, there is no easy route of escaping or easy route of freedom.
7. Scorpio/Cancer men have very good ability to help Air/Earth (Thinking signs) release the deepest emotional feelings. But, once you "open that bag of worms", it's not easy to close.

posted October 22, 2008 11:06 AM         

Spending your time posting about someone on an astrology website also says that YOU, to a certain extent, are obsessed with that person and consumed by thinking about them.

It seems to me that you're hoping his calls and texts are a sign that he still very into you, and you'd like reassurance about that here? I think you need to closely, honestly examine your own motivations.

posted October 22, 2008 11:10 AM         

man, bottle that medicine up, I want to give a dose to one of my friends.

posted October 22, 2008 05:21 PM         

I sent the letter mainly b/c I took a lot of blame for why he strayed... I acted completely aloof and casual. I didn't want things to be left with him as a villain, and me a victim...which is how it played out when all of our friends turned on him. It was intended to bring closure... along the lines of "hey, we both made mistakes, it didn't work out, i don't hate you, good luck in the future".

Sure, for a while there was a little twinge of unrequited love there... it ended abruptly and we never addressed anything afterwards, so I definitely think about him but realistically, I'm more curious than obsessed.

I don't want him, a person I considered a good friend, to feel like he has to continue to make things right just because of a mistake he made... 3 years later he's still calling? I hate feeling like a burden or a cross he has to bear... we weren't in love, there's no way after 3 years he's still pining after me...I'm not that conceited.

I guess a lot of it has to do with the fact that - things didn't work out, and they're never going to develop any further, so I would like the relationship to end with dignity rather than dragging it out.

Also - he's supposed to visit in November and I'm just thinking - is it a bad idea to see him, will it encourage him, or would it maybe help things sorta settle and end?

posted October 22, 2008 05:36 PM         

I don't know his birth time, I just used noon.

He actually does seem like an aqua rising, actually.

He is one of those people that is extremely popular, tons of friends... but does so while also appearing standoffish, almost awkwardly aloof. He's also very smart and dedicated to his career... not in a superficial way or money driven way...but rather he wants to see improvement. He also has a way of putting his foot in his mouth, or saying too much, that it comes off kinda rude...

posted October 22, 2008 06:44 PM         

In a way it sounds like you are playing games with each other, (and I wouldn't blame you yourself for doing so) but if you REALLY, REALLY don't want this guy in your life, then don't lead him on in any way or tease, because male/female friendships often need to be very carefully balanced to avoid sexual/romantic feelings springing up when you least want them to.

I think having a talk is a good idea. Be completely honest with this guy and with yourself.

Love,

posted October 24, 2008 02:07 AM         

It would NEVER be conceited to think that someone with a Cancer moon would still be pining for you three years later. I'm a fixed Sun/Cancer moon and I have never recovered from a single one of my loves. We Cancer moons put the cling in clingy and the nausea in nostalgia!! And, I didn't mean for what I said to be mean. I was hoping you'd say, Yes, I'm still wildly into him, and we on Lindaland could set about strategizing how to reunite you two.

But if you just want a dignified ending, I think you pretty much already have one.

posted October 24, 2008 11:11 AM         

No, no... I get what you were trying to say. My friends basically call me out about it all the time too... I mean, why do I respond to his texts but not his calls? Why do I consider seeing him when I want closure? Your comments were valid... blunt, but valid.

I dunno... a part of me thinks "what if?" but then, it's been years and we're in seperate cities and places in our lives... I don't want to kid myself into thinking that things would ever start back up.

Also - I have insane trust issues/intimacy issues to begin with, so there's absolutely no way I'd ever trust him in a romantic capacity again.

Realistically, it's such a dead end. It's so over, so I know I just need to put the past in the past.

I think you're advice is good... be nice, gentle and honest. Thanks!

<<<<<<If you really want kind, considerate closure, the next time he suggests a visit when he's in NYC, take his call, say hi, tell him how much you appreciate his overtures at friendship, but that you meant for your letter to give both of you closure in your relationship, and that a visit isn't the best idea because it's time to move on, but you honestly do think he's terrific and wish him well and have no hard feelings.

It would NEVER be conceited to think that someone with a Cancer moon would still be pining for you three years later. I'm a fixed Sun/Cancer moon and I have never recovered from a single one of my loves. We Cancer moons put the cling in clingy and the nausea in nostalgia!! And, I didn't mean for what I said to be mean. I was hoping you'd say, Yes, I'm still wildly into him, and we on Lindaland could set about strategizing how to reunite you two.

But if you just want a dignified ending, I think you pretty much already have one.

Anyway, ugh, sorry if my own bitter recent romantic disappointments are seeping into my posts!! >>>>>>>>

posted October 24, 2008 11:52 AM         

You can look at this situation as an annoying issue which won't go away, or look at it as a wonderful opportunity for some kind of personal integration and new growth. If we sometimes reject parts of ourselves that we don't feel comfortable with, and then attract situations/people which have these same qualities, then I feel that maybe, just maybe, some part of our deeper sense of self is trying to re-connect to us, and re-integrate. Trying to get us to recognize it and accept it unconditionally.

Just my two cents.