posted October 25, 2008 12:09 PM         

Astro.com's love/sex horoscope says "People with this position tend to either come out of the closet with a bang or remain there forever. You are unlikely to be in between."

posted October 26, 2008 11:05 AM         

Who does show and share feelings ? I never had that even with my few old friends - and recently I begun to think if other friendships are like this. Maybe it's more because I don't have really close friends, we don't talk about what happens in our intimate lives in details, also we don't meet often. But I had a psychotherapist for 10 years !

And it also seems to me that nobody is interested in my feelings, or in other people's feelings in general.

Mine has been a life without relationships and for a long time I thought I knew why, but now I am questioning these old ideas and trying to find out exactly where is the primary factor. And then what....

so would saturn-cancer bottomline be simply fear then ?

posted October 26, 2008 11:42 AM         

That whole feeling of being left out is pretty accurate, but I think Saturn Cancers are very good at helping others...I think we're natural empaths in a way, because we're so sensitive. It's our own feelings we sometimes have a hard time with displaying. Not just feelings, but specifically insecurities.

I was in and out of therapy in the my 20's...I do have a small handful of very good, close friends who have seen me through very hard times, so I am lucky. I avoided relationships A LOT in my early 20's...hated being close; I just shut down. But I also had a couple of relationships that just blasted me open on a lot of levels, and it's been both my demise as well as my saving grace because I feel they've transformed me on a very core level. I feel more open, but still take a very long time to really let people get close. I'm good at letting them think they're closer than they really are ...but it's ok, I usually tell them that too, LOL.

I think you're right that a lot of people aren't interested in real feelings, and so it's always like, Ok, you want to know how I feel...but not really. You don't want to know. The people that really got to know how I feel were those that saw me falling apart in other situations and remained loyal and didn't judge me for falling apart. They proved themselves in a way by being emotionally present. And I think for Saturn Cancer that's one of the most important things: being emotionally present, for both ourselves and also having others be there for us in that way.
The dilemma is sometimes the whole catch-22 thing of, Well, is their emotional presence determined by how close I let them get, or is it just that some people don't really consider emotional presence important?

I guess that's one I'm still trying to figure out . Trying to take in on a case-to-case basis for the time being

posted October 27, 2008 05:34 PM         

As for Saturn in Cancer, you place a lot of emphasis on security and security through close relationships with family members and wanting to own a domestic property etc. It's a fear that loved ones will leave or reject you, a fear that you are not important or forgotten. You always try to keep warm but can't seem to keep the cold out.

I am very sensitive, overly sensitive and maybe that's where it comes from. My chart otherwise, is very masculine and "unemotional". I hide my sensitivity a lot and I'm not sure if this because of Aqu Sun or Aries Rising or Saturn Cancer. I also am not happy that I am so sensitive. I think I have feelings of rejection even when people don't reject me, I always seem to think the worst. Maybe the Saturn also is trying to repress emotions. Also I am very sensitive to other peoples emotions, if I see someone crying, I'll start crying too. I always thought that might have been my Libran Moon in 7th, maybe it's my Saturn.

And like MVM, I did avoid relationships in my younger days in that I refused to open up to anyone. I'm still very, very coy at talking about family and family history with others in reality.

posted October 28, 2008 07:19 PM         

My sister is also a cancer, with Taurus ascendant and she is so much more concerned with owing property, etc. Of course she already has got her own apartment ƒº. I would like to have my own home, when Im old, but I don¡¦t take it so seriously.

I agree with the rejection feeling / sensation. I try to look at facts that make me feel rejected from a perspective, to try not to take things personally. But in the end I have just accepted being alone is part of life, god or the universe will help me with what I need. I miss people less. I miss my friends in general (I moved to another city), but not the individuals. I try to cultivate a certain level of contact with people, but keep a balance. I am really reserved about my life though.

Does it happen to you also ? I wondered if Im too neurotic. I don¡¦t like people to ask me many questions about my life, and I like to compartimentalise friends, activities, etc. I feel it gives me space to breath. I think I don¡¦t like to give people information that may become a future reference about me, that would help them build an image of myself, that would never be what I really am. And they would expect me to act like that image. And would ask questions ! Which is all ridiculous because they build some sort of image anyway. ƒº (maybe it¡¦s Pluto in the ascendant ? ¡K living in the shadow¡K

I have never liked my chart because of all these sensitivity. Whenever I can I warn people ¡V don¡¦t have cancer babies ! I used to get contaminated by other people¡¦s emotions too. Fortunately it doesn¡¦t happen so often anymore. Strangely though it has happened sometimes with men who liked me or were interested in me somehow. On the other hand, I think Im more resilient than many people, especially at work. What can also be bad, I¡¦ve been my own (internal) dictator for years ! Something happened , I ve lost the discipline and having a hard time trying to get back.

Regarding relationships, Im so concerned with not wasting time, and spend a lot of time on assessments and trying to be sure about what Im getting into I simply lose opportunities. Most of them were not really good ones anyway. But maybe I could have had more fun. It would be followed by its quadruple share of pain¡K but it could have hardened me earlier ƒº and created a little bit of self-confidence - but this should be a combination of all this much Saturn in cancer with ascendant libra. It¡¦s difficult to find pleasure in things. I do them because I have to, or have decided to do them. I get happy with the achievement, but not with the process.

MVM's you pointed out ¡V it¡¦s not so much about hiding emotions, but insecurities, vulnerabilities. Stressful huh ? And, your dilemma is mine too¡K