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Author
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Topic: Need advice for long distance relationship about to get close
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scrappydog
Knowflake Posts: 56
From: Houston, Texas
Registered: Aug 2008
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posted November 02, 2008 12:05 PM
 
OK so I met this man almost a year ago when he was visiting Houston, it was like love at first sight and we have kept up a very INTENSE relationship on the phone and letters. He wants me to move in with him in Phoenix and I have agreed to do it in January. He also wants to get married and have a family. I told him I'd marry him, but I don't want kids. Anyway I love this guy to death, but I am very afraid. My past relatioships were abusive and horrible. If I move up there and he isn't who I really thought or we can't get along I'm gonna be kinda screwed! I'm definately not wealthy. But what I feel with this man is like nothing I have ever felt for anyone, from the beginning it was like we had known eachother forever. I was like who are you, I know you! I want to be with him more than anything, but terrified of making another mistake. Anyway sorry for ranting.
Him: 12/16/79 3:37 am cleavland, Ohio
Me: 10/15/80 7:50 pm Freeport, TexasIP: Logged |
MyVirgoMask
Knowflake Posts: 689
From: processing destination......
Registered: Sep 2008
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posted November 02, 2008 12:25 PM
Scrappy, maybe you guys should see each other a couple of times before you move there? Just so you don't feel so worried. My mother and stepfather met once and he proposed to her on their second date. He was the very shy type, and it was NOT in his nature to be so forward. He lived out of the country and they kept in contact for 4 months before he flew back to marry her...they've been together 25 years. So...it can be done and it can work out well. My stepfather loved her and was/is extremely good at heart...  The only reason I suggest seeing your guy first is because it FEELS to me like you're uncertain, and that's a sign. Take your uncertainty as a gift, not an obstacle. I would definitely see him a couple more times. If he wants you that much, he should get his butt out to where you are, or fly you out to see him. Spend some quality time together in person so you can see how it feels, and so you can put your own suspicions to rest. That way you're not so hesitant. I've heard that communication is 80% body language...how much do we miss when we just talk on the phone, or text/IM ? ------------------
"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. " IP: Logged |
Diandra23
Knowflake Posts: 2240
From: portugal
Registered: Mar 2007
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posted November 02, 2008 12:34 PM
HII live a long distance relationship with my bf ( but we are only 3 hours car travel distance). nevertheless,we only started to date and be "serious" when we felt it was secure.That is..after multiple conversations and after we had certain that it was not a common meeting. i agree with Virgo: it is a serious deal to move in into a strange place where we only know one person,who we met a couple of times. We never know how that would turn out - if your intuition is saying to go with care,then go...when a guy loves us he waits the time it has to wait. in order for us to feel secure enough to make that huge step. IP: Logged |
scrappydog
Knowflake Posts: 56
From: Houston, Texas
Registered: Aug 2008
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posted November 02, 2008 02:02 PM
Yes I know you guys are right about spending more time with him first. He is flying me there at the end of this month to spend the weekend with him. Still.... I guess I will have to see how I feel after that. I was hoping someone could take a look at our synastry and tell me what they think. I need seriously need some help.IP: Logged |
flyin_free_70
Knowflake Posts: 105
From:
Registered: Jun 2008
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posted November 02, 2008 04:59 PM
I truely think that you can both get to know somebody and fall in love with them via phone/text/msg boards. This is a whole new era and we're meeting people and dating people that 10-15 years ago we'd never even have had the chance to meet. Be careful, but don't be afraid to follow your heart either.One thing that's sending up a huge red flag for me is the fact that he wants kids and you don't. That "pull" to have a baby is very strong and if he's wanting to one day procreate and raise a family and you don't then that could put a huge strain on your relationship. IP: Logged |
scrappydog
Knowflake Posts: 56
From: Houston, Texas
Registered: Aug 2008
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posted November 09, 2008 07:16 PM
BUMP
Can anyone tell me what they think of my snastry/composite with this man??
IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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