posted November 23, 2008 10:39 PM         

The first time I met him, I got a bit of a "shady" vibe from him. At the wedding, I remember at the end of the night when everyone had gone home, I found him sitting at the bar with one of his girl "friends" sitting on his lap. My best friend walked in and the girl jumped off his lap, both of them looking embarrassed. My friend is so naive and innocent that she would never suspect anything. I don't even know how to bring up the topic to her.

He is surrounded by young "interns" at work, and he only hires attractive secretaries, who he takes out for lunch on a regular basis.
She tells me that he has been "working late" a lot lately. I suspect he is cheating.

Last time I visited, I sensed such tension between them. Every word they said to eachother was dripping with sarcasm and resentment. I just sense their energy together just doesn't fit and she doesn't seem happy. I don't now what to do cause I know it's none of my business.

Can anyone give any insight on their composite chart, and synastry in regards to aspects that may point to deception and cheating? Does their relationship have the potential to last?

She's on the outside. I have her correct birth time, but I didn't know his, so I put Noon.

posted November 24, 2008 01:43 AM         

lol cancer men dont cheat..

posted November 24, 2008 01:50 AM         

that venus neptune both ways prolly clouded their vision.. this is why everyone should take a look at the stars once in a while.. atleast when considering a partner.

posted November 24, 2008 02:51 AM         

There is a recession in the U.K and a looming warning about a future 10% unemployment rate. Working late could turn out to be genuine, with the reason that like many people he wants to give as few reasons as possible to be laid off.

With a small child and another on the way, stress in their relationship isn't hard to find.

Their whole chart is very intense, so many aspects, and a Grand Cross on both synastry and composite. Their time together might not be easy, but it is likely to be very meaningful.

MyVirgoMask makes a good point about Saturn. One Lindalander (I forget who, sorry, 23?) suggests that at least one tense Saturn aspect is generally to be found in long-term relationship. I don't think that is enough for us to screech out 'divorce'.

posted November 24, 2008 04:10 AM         

quote:

---

saturn is clearly a powerful malefic in this chart. nothing but squares and oppositions

---

Look again more carefully. It's a Grand Cross. That is very powerful. Are you familiar with its energies and what it signifies in a relationship?

quote:

---

that venus neptune both ways prolly clouded their vision.. this is why everyone should take a look at the stars once in a while.. atleast when considering a partner.

---

This aspect has been pinpointed as a classic falling in love aspect for a reason.

posted November 24, 2008 04:25 AM         

yes perhaps saturn contacts bind. even the bad ones. but just because you feel bound to something doesnt mean its ment to be.. besides who thinks of true love as binding anyway? I thought true love was free and unconditional. being bound is generally associate with held down and restricted just as saturn does.

and half of my conclusion is just based on what gemgemgem has observed and felt.. clearly there isnt something right about the vibe from the household.

rough aspects from chiron or saturn or to eachother spells heartbreak. and incompatibility. its been proven time again. even I can vouch for this.

magi analyzed scott and laci peterson and they had bad chiron and saturn.

posted November 24, 2008 06:26 AM         

I think the cardinal rule is keep your mouth shut, be there when she wants to talk and get ready to catch her if she falls.
Nobody bearing this sort of news comes out alive!
Unless you have concrete proof I would say nothing and even then I would tackle him first.You cannot win in these situations.

posted November 24, 2008 06:26 AM         

quote:

---

and half of my conclusion is just based on what gemgemgem has observed and felt

---

One person's view in a short post.

"Tell her to get a divorce" is not ethical advice to be handing out on so flimsy an examination of the situation.

Red aspects ~> all relationships have checks and balances. We need them for growth, we need them so we don't stagnate together. We need them to help us face the challenges of life, a bit of Saturn helps for this as well.

Few marriages are going to tick along without a problem or without needing any effort or compromise. Anyone who is expecting to meet the person of their dreams and not ever face the smallest problem is deluding themselves.

EDIT

GGG ~> I tend to go along with bunnies on this one. If your suspicions prove correct, you will find out soon enough, I should imagine.

Good Luck

posted November 24, 2008 10:59 AM         

I know the economy is bad right now, so he may have to work late to keep his job. But when he's working late most of the week, then stays out at night on the weekends, it makes you wonder. They fight all the time about him staying out, and when she expresses her need for his help around the house, he calls her a NAG!

This may be too much information , but She said ever since their first child was born, during sex he's not willing to "go down" there anymore. I personally think that is a big issue, cause that to me means there is a disconnect in intimacy, and he has no more desire to please her. When a man stops wanting to do that, there's an issue.

None of her family or friends really "approve" of him. I'm sorry, I don't mean to make him sound like a monster or anything. I'm sure he loves her very much, but he is just really selfish. Whenever I go there for a visit, she gets depressed the week after I leave, and gets very lonely.

Her emails really make me so sad. But she's like an abuse victim in that she doesn't think anything is really wrong with her relationship. She just thinks life is supposed to be hard like that. She accepts it.

Blue moon, I believe hard Saturn aspects, can bind a relationship just like soft aspects can, but in her case, it is being bound against her will almost. It's like she has no choice. She is so faithful, and dedicated that divorce is not even an option for her. I don't know if its her Scorpio venus, but when she loves a man, she will love him FOREVER!

Seeing Stars, "suffocating" is a word she uses a lot to describe her life. She is bound by love, but the life that accompanies that love is just so hard for her to live. It doesn't nourish her. But she'll never leave.

bunnies, I am definitiely trying to keep quiet about the whole thing, and be supportive. I don't want to stir up anything, especially during this sensitive time with her being pregnant. I don't want to upset her. It's just so hard when you see someone you love suffering, and having such a hard time, and all you can do is stand by and watch.

Seeing Stars, I hope you are right,
about Cancer men....

posted November 24, 2008 11:56 AM         

"My friend has told me that she is not happy. She was so depressed when she found out she was pregnant again. Her son is only 1 yrs old. It was a "surprise" of course, so now she feels trapped. Before with only 1 child, she could travel, and manage just fine without her husband's help. With 2, she said her life is basically over. She has a hip condition that makes it difficult for her to walk, and he doesn't even help her at all. She carries a stroller up and down the stairs, pregnant and all.
I know the economy is bad right now, so he may have to work late to keep his job. But when he's working late most of the week, then stays out at night on the weekends, it makes you wonder. They fight all the time about him staying out, and when she expresses her need for his help around the house, he calls her a NAG!

This may be too much information , but She said ever since their first child was born, during sex he's not willing to "go down" there anymore. I personally think that is a big issue, cause that to me means there is a disconnect in intimacy, and he has no more desire to please her. When a man stops wanting to do that, there's an issue.

None of her family or friends really "approve" of him. I'm sorry, I don't mean to make him sound like a monster or anything. I'm sure he loves her very much, but he is just really selfish. Whenever I go there for a visit, she gets depressed the week after I leave, and gets very lonely.

Her emails really make me so sad. But she's like an abuse victim in that she doesn't think anything is really wrong with her relationship. She just thinks life is supposed to be hard like that. She accepts it.

Blue moon, I believe hard Saturn aspects, can bind a relationship just like soft aspects can, but in her case, it is being bound against her will almost. It's like she has no choice. She is so faithful, and dedicated that divorce is not even an option for her. I don't know if its her Scorpio venus, but when she loves a man, she will love him FOREVER!

Seeing Stars, "suffocating" is a word she uses a lot to describe her life. She is bound by love, but the life that accompanies that love is just so hard for her to live. It doesn't nourish her."

posted November 24, 2008 12:26 PM         

quote:

---

Check out Uranus on the DESC of his chart. I don't know the degree from that, but you will have it and you can plot the transits of Uranus...

---

posted November 24, 2008 09:03 PM         

Maybe I should get that show "Cheaters" to follow him around and catch him in the act.

posted November 24, 2008 09:14 PM         

She probably already suspects, but is too ashamed to tell you.

Do you want to be the person she associates the ending of her marrriage with? You don't want to be that person...

posted November 24, 2008 09:30 PM         

The last thing she needs to hear right now
(with her being pregnant)
is that you "think" her husband is a love rat.

posted November 24, 2008 09:49 PM         

My late great grandmother was born on July 3rd like Tom Cruise too.

Winona Ryder and I were on the very same day on October 29, 1971

we have the same birthday as Joseph Goebells, Adolf Hitler's Nazi Propaganda Minister

I am nothing like him, and I doubt Winona is.

I am not like Winona

------------------
Michael E. Brown, a professor of planetary astronomy at the California Institute of Technology who discovered the distant ball of ice and rock that he nicknamed Xena, chose the name Eris, after the goddess of discord and strife in Greek mythology.

"It is absolutely the perfect name," Brown said, given the continuing discord among astronomers and the public over whether Pluto should have retained its planetary status.

In mythology, Eris ignited discord that led to the Trojan War.

"She causes strife by causing arguments among men, by making them think their opinions are right and everyone else's is wrong," Brown said. "It really is just perfect."
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2006/09/15/MNGS8L67LJ1.DTL

Ideology,Diversity,Divergence,Equality,Sharing,Advocacy,Discord,Debating,Compromise,Agreeing to Disagree,Alternative Viewpoints, Seeing/or not seeing Eye to Eye.

Eris in Aries Retrograde in 8th oppose Uranus,trine Ceres,sextile Midheaven,sextile/trine Lunar Nodes,trine Jupiter,quincunx Ascendant,biquintile Mercury,parallel Pluto

posted November 24, 2008 10:28 PM         

I think it sucks that we're all making speculations about this woman's marriage - it feels like a violation of trust. Maybe I am just taking this way too personally, I don't know.

A family's approval of a man means nothing, IMO - family may 'mean well', but they don't know anything about what goes on between two people when they are alone. My family loved my ex-husband and he was an abusive b*stard. So what. My Venus is in Scorpio and so is my 7th house cusp and I put my everything into that marriage, but guess what? I did walk once I had enough.
Our composite was made of dreamy, blue trines and only a couple of friction points. Our Saturn was flowing. The marriage sucked! I can't imagine that the chart is going to do anything but tell you about potential and give you some hints. That's hardly enough reason to blow things out of proportion. We may merely speculate, but that's about it. Being so fervent in some aspect representing heartbreak and separation is dangerous, because you will ALWAYS find an exception. These exceptions are there for a reason, I feel - to keep us on our toes and keep us from reaching absolute conclusions about anything!
I do feel that conflict in charts is necessary to make you GROW. They have a challenging Uranus, but so what? I've seen this in a lot of strong composites of marriages that last with a lot of loyalty and dedication to one another.
A Libra rising in the composite also puts a lot of expectations out there, I have noticed. It's such a dreamy, pretty rising, that anytime reality interrupts, it's as though everyone jumps on the bandwagon and freaks out about the relationship's status.

posted November 25, 2008 02:24 AM         

We don't know his Moon or Descendant. We don't know a lot here (but where minds are made up, that hardly seems to matter).

Any comments about the Composite are also invalid, the house cusps and the Moon are all conjecture.

VirgoMask ~ no, it's not just you.

posted November 25, 2008 11:43 AM         

She doesn't love her life right now, but I guess not many people can say that they do either.

I just wish I could do something to help her life be more fulfilling and nourishing for her. She cries all the time, and one time when I was over there, and she had a bit too many glasses of wine, started bawling out, "He doesn't know me! He just doesn't get me." I think that was the saddest of all.

I think I want to rescue her so badly cause I've been there. In a marriage that was so lonely, with a man who never understood who I was. I was just a wife, and not a best friend. I see her as this caged bird who wants to fly free.

I am going to stop all this now, and just be there for her and listen to anything she would like to share with me, and support her decisions without being judgemental. The main point is it's HER life, not mine.

Atlena, your comment about him being possessive is very true though. When I'm visiting and we go out, she has to give him a list of all the things we plan on doing. If we change our minds, and veer away from the list, she has to call him, or else he'll get mad. Birthdays aside, maybe he is like Tom Cruise. haha. Glaucus saying, "I'm not like Winona." was too funny!