posted November 29, 2008 10:51 PM         

Anyway, after going through this HUGE transition, I feel I need to move on with my life. It's a long, convoluted story, and I really
don't want to go into the details. But I was trying to think in broader terms as to her death's impact on me.
At first I did our synastry, then I progressed her chart to the day of her death. Then I progressed MY chart to the day
of her death.

Then I thought, you know, I want to do an independent death chart and see its impact on me.
I thought it was downright creepy. The synastry chart down here really kind of freaked me out. I don't know nearly enough
about all this stuff as a lot of other knowflakes here, so I want to just put this on the table and make some observations, and see
if anyone else can throw anything in....

The Death Chart's Sun, NN, and True Lilith (h13, I know now, thanks to Glaucus ) falls into my first house. Its Pluto falls into
my 8th (and squares my Sun in the 5th). The Ceres falling into my 4th gave me the heebeejeebies. It squares my Venus and opposes my Midheaven.

These are some of the synastry chart placements - from the death chart (henceforth called DC) to my own planets.
I was looking for stuff that was prominent and really stood out at me, mainly aspects that are no more
than 3 degrees...this is all stuff just at first glance:

DC Sun trine my Sun - zero degrees
DC Pluto square my Sun - zero degrees
DC Black Lilith Moon square my Sun - 1 degree
DC Moon sextile my Moon - 0 degrees
DC Mercury trine my Vesta - 0 degrees
Dc Eris conjunct my Chiron - 0 degrees

I thought this was kinda weird - I know the Vertex is a personal point, but in this case DC's Vertex also
EXACTLY conjunct my Sun. It just seems odd. I don't know. I'm probably looking into it too much.
I just felt this great need to do this for some reason - it feels theraputic, but I can't even explain HOW or why.

Anyway, I'm rambling...if anyone has any feedback here, I'd appreciate it

posted November 30, 2008 07:10 AM         

When my mother died in my Solar was Moon in 12th (Pisces) house with one hard aspect (Moon is ruler of my Natal MC in Pisces in 5th - Natal).

Solar Return and Secondary Progressions for me are the best.

posted November 30, 2008 08:19 AM         

One day after your birth means one year.

25th day after your birthday means your 25th year. If your Venus has some exact soft aspect with Natal planet, then can happen something on the area of love.

For me was the best time when my Progressed Venus has changed the sign. That happens every 23-25 years.

Secondary progressed planets in use are: Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus and Mars.

Hope, it helps.

Good luck,
Buena

posted December 01, 2008 12:07 AM         

I'm not that good with transits. I haven't read much about how we should apply them, so I just do it intuitively (i.e., I make sh1t up ). I did notice some symmetries though that I wanted to point out. They may mean something to you.

1.dc's CERES cnj n. IC (in Cancer)
2. dc's MC cnj n. CERES (in Sag)

1. T.Ceres was in your 4th house, cnj your IC. The IC is our inner world, so this shows that at this time you had to internalize Ceres, since your Ceres figure no longer existed out there in the material world.

This loss is further signified by t.Chiron cnj your MC. To me, that configuration looks like a loss or wounding "out there" in the material world (MC), as your mother figure transitions from someone who you can know materially to someone who you now know only spiritually (IC). You carry her in you at the deepest part of your being. She's home in you.

2. What does 2 mean? The MC was brought to your own n.Ceres. Perhaps it means that this moment transformed you from the child figure, the one receiving nurturing, to the mother figure, the one giving nurturing.

Or, since Ceres is in your 8th, the emphasis here isn't on the nurturing aspect of Ceres, but on the grief Ceres experienced when Pluto took her daughter. Generally, parents lose children as they grow up and leave home; children lose parents as they die. Ceres can signify that mourning we experience during those changes in the parent-child relationship, when we lose one another to the natural cycles of life, growth, and death.

posted December 01, 2008 12:07 AM         

3. Mars was brought to your Saturn and SN in Cancer. Mars is energy and action. Your Saturn (and SN) were ignited by her loss. You can't get much more karmic than Saturn and the SN. Whether you think in terms of past lives or simply subconscious issues that need to be addressed, losing your grandmother triggered your heaviest issues. Mars infused those issues with energy. You couldn't ignore them. They were alive and demanding attention. So try not to beat yourself up for having a rough time the past few years. You've been digging deep and dealing with what you're meant to grow through this lifetime.

4. Your own n. Mars and ASC are in Taurus. T.NN, soul growth, was brought to that part of your chart.

Since 3 deals with your SN, we can see that as the part you have to grow past. But we don't discard SN lessons and themes as useless albatrosses b/c that's not what the SN is. SN lessons are what bring us to our NN. The SN is a problem only if we stay there too long, instead of allowing a continuous SN/NN dialectic. (I think I just made Hegel roll. ) So, we could say that it is through experiencing the pain of Mars activating your Saturn and SN, that you will then be able to move forward with your strengthened Mars and Asc, and grow into who you're meant to be.

You've probably noticed I haven't spoken precisely about the Node stuff. I can't tell from a chart where you are with your Node issues. I can only tell what signs and planets this experience ignited for you. From that, I could speculate, but I think it would be better if I shut up now and let you decide what it all means to you. I'm all ears if you'd like to share your ideas here, and I also understand if you'd rather keep it private.

posted December 01, 2008 01:57 AM         

That bit with the Ceres had me thinking too, and when I saw it in the 4th, it caught my attention - I just love how you tie it in to the nurturing. I did get into the nurturing role myself, even though I was always that to a degree, it felt like it was more pressing somehow. I also think maybe I was / am being urged to turn my own nurturing toward myself.
The Ceres/Underworld/8th house analogies are perfect here too.
With Ceres in Cancer in the 4th house, it is pretty potent. And you know what, my grandmother's moon was in Cancer as well, so...wow

And with Chiron, yes...it makes a lot of sense.

You're certainly right about issues being activated here. It was nothing but that!
I do agree with the SN stuff you say - I don't believe in discarding SN lessons and trashing them. I think of them as a baptismal immersion, even a trial by fire...you can't move on, or get to the NN until you LIVE through the SN...and then you have to fuse it and integrate it somehow with you on your NN journey. And on some level it very much feels like this is happening.

As to my own NN, it's in Capricorn (she wa a Cappy rising lol) and in the 9th...so it's interesting, I had this wild urge to go and pay homage to my grandmother in Egypt (her birthhome as well as mine) after she died, but it took me nearly 3 years to do so. I had to leave a marriage (which I got into right as she died, and which was abusive...yet another long story LOL), and basically sever a lot of ties to take this trip...which ended up lasting 9 months (it was unplanned...it turned up to be 9 months, and also my only other birthday spent in Egypt. My first being when I was born.). I hadn't been back for a visit in 23-24 years!!!

I just got back two weeks ago, and feel a weird relief, and like I am ready to 'move on' somehow, like my conscience is finally clear on some level. A lot is still being processed, and I am not sure if it's 'done' yet (I do have a nasty Pluto square Pluto transit here, so maybe not *SIGH*).

In my chart, my NN squares Pluto and Mercury, opposes Saturn, trines Mars, sextiles Venus, and trines my ascendant. Don't know what that means...my own Pluto squares my Saturn right at 0'00 degrees.

Anyway....too much jargon, I've talked enough

posted December 03, 2008 01:29 AM         

quote:

---

I also think maybe I was / am being urged to turn my own nurturing toward myself.

---

Yes, I see the astrology indicating that as well, specifically the Ceres contacts.

I think one way you've been called to care for yourself is through strengthening your Taurus Mars and Asc (that were cnj the t.NN.) Perhaps the abusive relationship you entered at that time was a way for you to do that. You were offered the choice to value yourself by rejecting abuse, and you made that choice. Taurus is very much about self-worth. I'd say your Mars and Asc proved that they know how much they're worth by refusing to accept being mistreated, no matter how hard it may have been both to let go of the good parts of that relationship and also to stand up to an abuser.

Another way to look at t.NN on your Asc is that t.SN was on your Dsc and opposing your Mars. That matches what happened, with you strengthening your Mars and Asc by growing and moving past a debasing relationship.

quote:

---

in the 9th...so it's interesting, I had this wild urge to go and pay homage to my grandmother in Egypt

---

Seriously, that gave me a chill! That's so fitting! Saturn on the SN, NN in the 9th. What you did--moving forward by returning to your past overseas--is such a beautiful hybrid of SN/Saturn and NN/9th house. It's a good illustration of what we both said about the SN bringing you to the NN. They weren't isolated, independent experiences. It was that Saturn pressure to visit your past, that brought you to your NN and let you benefit from that release and growth. Similarly, it was the t.SN cnj your Dsc and opp your Mars that brought you to your assertive and self-nurturing Taurus Asc and Mars.

quote:

---

my grandmother's moon was in Cancer...
she was a Cappy rising

---

Wow.

Was her Asc cnj your NN?
Even if not in orb, that's some pretty symmetry you have there, with your n.NN (sign) cnj her Asc, and the t.NN cnj your Asc.

So are you ready to hear a crazy coincidence? I ran a composite chart between me and when my mom died, and I immediately noticed a couple similarities with your composite: Like you, my comp has Ceres at 4º, cnj the Dsc at 7º. Different signs are involved though. My chart's Asc is 7º Sag instead of Aries, so Ceres is in Gem instead of Libra. Mine also has the NN in the 12th house. And we both have the Moon at 18º in a water sign (mine's in Cancer). There may be more similarities, that's just from a quick scan.

quote:

---

Feels like a resolution is happening internally, finally.

---

Well, with Saturn on your SN, I can safely assume that the resolution you're feeling...You've earned it. Well done. That's no small feat satisfying Saturn. I'd say that calls for some...

posted December 03, 2008 03:36 AM         

And wow - that is weird that you have the same similarities with your mom as well! How odd is that?! ...I'm really beginning to feel Ceres should get more credit in general in astrology! That's a pretty serious asteroid, I feel.

BTW, my NN isn't conjunct her ascendant - looks like it might, but it actually falls into her 12th house lol. We're not sure of the EXACT time of my grandmother's birth, but my mother believes it was in the early morning hours. So you never know...it might conjunct it after all

But...another weird thing. I was looking again at her birth chart, and her Ceres is in the 4th - in Taurus ...how fitting! It falls right into my first house as well. No contacts to the ascendant or Mars, but it trines my Sun exactly, and my Midheaven too.
And her Saturn is also in Cancer, like mine, and it conjuncts with mine.
SN contacts have her Pluto conjunct my SN.

posted December 05, 2008 02:07 AM         

If you're interested, I suggest taking a look at the asteroid Karma (3811). I'll eat my hat if you don't have some tight Karma aspects in synastry with her or with the "dc."

posted December 05, 2008 04:11 AM         

Funny that your Karma was sextile her Chiron. My Karma was cnj my mom's Chiron. I would eek, but I've grown accustomed to all the amazing coincidences.