posted December 09, 2008 05:03 PM            

Maybe I should clarify. When I say friends I don't mean like hang out all the time or anything like that. Or calling them up if I have to vent. I can't do that with someone if I've been head over hills into as much as I'd like to say I could be that way. In fact I can't be purely like that with someone I've been involved with (both emotionally and physically) that I started to care about.

What I mean is if I see them out and about I'm not going to avoid them (well double Sag I might avoid like the plague). I'll say hi, and chit chat. Or if they instant message me I'll be polite and write them back. And try my darnest to make it seem like I'm indifferent and they meant nothing. But as far as trying to be "real" friends on a non superficial level I can't do that.

I don't know if it’s because I’m all or nothing. Which I am. I think it’s because even if I'm over them I'd get upset if they're happy without me or with another girl. Or if I think about what happened with them I’d run the risk of getting mad all over again.

An example of this is a Scorpio guy whom I dated for a while. Hurt me so I vowed never to talk to him again. Well two years later (last month) he messages me. And of course I was coolly friendly. I'm not going to be rude. But of course I never want to be his friend again, anyway I found myself looking at his facebook profile and I saw his new gf. Whom me managed to tell me about when we were talking online. Anyway I found myself getting upset because of all the things he put me through, and how he treated me, and that he seemed happy even though he was very cruel to me. With him remaining on friendly terms was important. I’m not exactly sure why, however he did have an Aquarius moon, mars, and rising despite the fact that he also had his sun, mer, and Venus in Scorpio.

In fact from what I’ve seen the people most successful at staying friends with ex’s or people they were involved with happen to have a strong Uranus/Aquarius and dare I even say strong Jupiter or Sagittarius placements and aspects.

posted December 09, 2008 05:27 PM            

Don't get me wrong, it's not like we break up and I go, HEY, don't be a stranger now! Let's be friends.

No way.

Once it's over, it's over. And I even allow myself to hate them for a while - unfortunately, it's part of the healing process as I get to the bottom of my own pain. However, time passes, and I realize that this other person I was involved with is a human being I liked something about, and I get nostalgic about our conversations, our connection - from a purely non-sexual sexual level. And the oddest thing of all is that they do too, and when we re-connect, we have this amazing closure and conversation about our past relationship and really ending up FORGIVING one another. After that, it's not as though we're close 'buddies', but a lot of my exes contact me from time to time when they have problems in their relationship and ask if I feel they're doing something which might be hurting their current relationship. On some level, I know them better than anyone else had, and so they return.

posted December 09, 2008 05:45 PM            

I so wish I could be that way. I think because I do have such a hard time forgiving and even forgetting (I NEVER do) it’s very hard for me to be able to deal with someone (I've been involved with) on more than a casual basis after we are done.

I don't actually express open "hate" for any ex's lol. Well the double Sag guy I did give dirty looks to, but that was the extent of it. And I haven’t seen him in a while so I’m not sure how I would behave now. I think people have a tendency to get more upset if you express indifference as opposed to hate, dislike, or anger. If you express hate you are emotionally attached obviously because it’s an emotion (it's probably obvious I was a psych major right now lol), whereas detachment or indifference shows no emotional attachment. So no matter how much I may inside really dislike an ex, or be angry or hurt I still try to show them that they didn’t hurt me and they meant nothing.

As far as you being close confidantes with ex’s, I can’t do that at all! However I am only 23 and I happen to think that as I get older I'll change and realize that people come and go from your life and that a human is a human regardless of how things ended with someone, all things happen for a reason.

posted December 09, 2008 06:42 PM            

It actually takes me a long time for forgive as well. I don't think what I do is 'normal' at all.
I'm 35, and around the time I turned 26 was when I started noticing the trend with my exes.

Look at your 8th house cusp sign. What is it in? What kind of aspects does it make?
I'm really starting to wonder about this possible theory, because I have read that the 8th house has to do with endings and divorces, and I think there's a lot of truth to it. My own marriage, which was horrid, was amazingly amicable in its ending. I didn't even ask for anything, I just wanted it over and done with and as painlessly as possible. And it was. We remain on very good terms, even though the marriage was a nightmare.

posted January 30, 2014 10:34 AM            

Wow, I didn't realize how "involved" this placement can get until I started seeing one.

My Venus in Scorpio conjunct his Venus as well as his Sun sign.

I have Venus conjunct Saturn in Scorpio, though, and that gives my Venus in Scorpio a more "Capricorn" feel. He tells me that I can be chilly and undemonstrative.

Reading all of this makes me be grateful that I didn't have an additional aspect with Mars.

posted April 17, 2014 11:04 AM            

I have scorpio venus conjunction pluto, and even though I got a new boyfriend now I still think a lot on my first love… to be completely honest I've never really got over with him, I don't really think I ever will…I still fantasize on the day I will meet him randomly somewhere and what I'm gonna say