posted December 10, 2008 04:38 PM         

My Mr.on again, off again, I call him....We met 9 months ago, and have this strange un-defined relationship that never gets off the ground. We'll hang out and get so close, then we don't talk for months at a time, but then he'll pop back into my life, or vice versa like nothing happened, and it will feel like home. So familiar, like he never left. We pick up right where we left off, but at the same time our relationship transforms.

He is my ideal. If I could mold a man out of clay, he is what this man would be like.
he is my weakness, my achilles heel. He is the only man who has ever succeeded in making me forget my ex-husband when we are together.

The first time i saw him in a crowded party, my heart knew, and I couldn't take my eyes off him. Love at first sight...on my end at least. We have both expressed how we feel about eachother, but I pushed him away from day 1, assuming he would not be able to accept my life. I always felt that he and his family were very traditional and would never be able to accept a future with someone like me. 3 months ago, I had my belief confirmed when I told him about my divorce, and my daughter. I got the reaction I had expected. We didn't see eachother again after that. He asked, but I wouldn't let myself. I didn't hear from him since....until this past Monday.

We have had 3 beginnings, and 3 ends. Road block everywhere. Then on Monday I unexpectedly hear from him. We spoke on the phone for 2 hours, and it felt like we were finally becoming...friends. He asked me if we could please give(whatever it is you call what we had) one more try. I was hesitant and told him no.

He called me today and asked if i would have dinner with him this Friday. I knew in my head that I should say no, but my heart said yes. Although I'm waiting for him to suddenly change his mind, or a hurricane or tornado to blow by, calling the whole thing off. That is how "Uranus" our relationship has been. Expect the unexpected should be our relationship motto!

I can't forget him though. He holds a part of me with him, that I don't remember giving him, but I am glad he has. As crazy as it is, I feel love for him....for no logical reason. He is the only man I have stay up all night..just TALKING to. He is the only man who makes me tingle just with his light touch. The only man that has felt like home.

But our relationship is cursed to doom by Uranus, and Saturn too actually. Which I would never have believed except for the fact that I experienced it is firsthand....the frustration, the road blocks. Like star crossed lovers.

Below is our synastry and composite charts. (If the birth time he gave me is correct)
I'm assuming the on again, off again is due to the bad aspects to Uranus, the road blocks to the bad Saturn aspects. How frustrating.

I don't know about him, but the attraction on my end is so strong, almost haunting. Sometimes I wonder about Lilith, since my Venus is so closely conjunct his Black moon Lilith. i tried looking into it but there aren't many things abour BML in synastry. But the pull towards him is just so strong.

I would love to hear any thoughts, observations, or theories anyone would like to share!

posted December 11, 2008 02:16 AM         

but yeah that configuration fits with the on again,off again.

also...there is a Venus-Saturn opposition squaring the Midheaven. All aspects under 1 degree, and this indicates that there can be restrictions,limitations in the relationship,love. There could be some distance issues(whether physical,emotional)that can be problem in the relationship. Big time delays,barriers can be a major issue in the relationship. Obligations,duty can be at odds with affections. The relationship can turn really cold. There can also be authority,control issues that affect the relationship

there could be a serious commitment though. The relationship can be taken very seriously with a strong desire for stability. The relationship could get better with time....maturity and the growth of the relationship is strongly connected.

posted December 11, 2008 04:23 PM         

In SYNASTRY I see your Venus cj. your Chiron - so, love for you is probably an even more "sensitive" thing than for other people - and this conjunction is opposed by his Sun and Uranus, as it seems. No wonder, that there's some "stability" missing, in your impression (the "Uranus"-factor he brings with him and which seems to come to play in his day-to-day-contacts and way of communicating, located in his 3rd house).

Also you have Mars cj. your Juno - also in your 9th house, by the way. Might mean that you feel some sort of strong "ambition" concerning partnerships, very strong principles, some stubbornness and firmness, with that fixed Taurus-influence? Gives the impression that stability and reliabilty and all that is extremely important to you in matters of love - so called "flexibility" or "openness" or "sense of adventure" might not come easy to you, when love is concerned. (Can you relate to that?) Anyway, his Mars obviously opposes your Mars-Juno-conjunct - a battle of wills would be the classic interpretation ...

Also his Mars in his 3rd (how he carries himself in day-to-day-business) seems almost conjunct your Uranus - gives you some kind of (healthy) shock, wakens you up and all.

Your own Eros and Ceres are conjunct his N.N. and Valentine - both of you might hear a "bell ring" - as far as flirtatiousness and amourours longings are concerned. With N.N.conjunctions I guess the question is: Who's teaching whom? (To speak from my own personal experience: The N.N. person teaches the other person - and after the "lesson" has been learned, the N.N. person feels exploited in a way ... only if things are NOT ending positive, of course.)

What strikes me with the Composite is the strong 6th-house-12t-house axis: Sun, Mercury and Saturn almost conjunct in the 12th ... certainly gives no very "vivid" impression, rather some brooding feel, as if something was cooking underneath the surface. Saturn obviously is also cj. the ASC of this Composite - well - a stick in the mud. No wonder that there's some hinderance felt by you, that things don't get off the ground. No idea, how one could overcome this feeling with this composite.

Venus and Mars in the 6th house is not really a lighthearted, fun-placement either. Discipline, duty, service are the keywords for 6th house of course.

The only real "romantic" factor I can see in this Composite is Valentine cj. Neptune in 4th - but ... Neptune should be treated carefully, of course. Some dreamy quality at the core of this Composite (4th house as the "base" of it all). What is fact, what is fiction here? And when does Idealization turn into Illusion? Guess this might be a question to ponder on.

Both, Synastry and Composite scream "work, work, work" to me. Whether this "work" might be wothwhile at the end ... ? It's up to you to decide whether you want to do it. ;-) Happiness and ease won't come easy with this pairing, that's my impression.

posted December 15, 2008 10:34 AM         

The past 2 days were BLISS, but on Sunday night, he decided to tell his parents about me. They threw a fit, and said he was absolutely NOT allowed to date me. I guess I should have known better, because I know how traditional, and conservative they are. They would never be able to show there face in their church community if their only son was dating me.

I know they are just trying to protect him. He is 32 and still living at home. He has a career, but is trying to save money to get his own place. He is a very "dutiful" son, and would never do anything to shame his parents. He said he didn't expect them to react this way, even though I warned him from the beginning that they would forbid us being together. I don't have any negative feelings towards them as I know they are just trying to protect their son. Or maybe it's just an excuse he's using, cause he changed his mind about the way he feels about me, or maybe he doesn't want to commit to me, so this is an easy out for him...to blame it on his parents. I don't know what it is, but it really hurts.

Raymond, what you said is so on point! "Big time delays, barriers can be a major issue in the relationship. Obligations, duty can be at odds with affections." It's obstacle after obstacle. And I think most of them are being put up himself.

I'm done with him now! If at 32, he's going to allow his parents to run his life, that's his issue to deal with. A man should have some balls! (Sorry, don't know if that word is allowed., but I'm kind of mad)
If he's using the parent thing as an excuse, which is likely, he is not the kind of person I want to be with anyway. He's one of those guys that thinks he knows what he wants, and wants it so badly, until he finally may get it. Then realizes its actually not what he wanted. He only wanted it because he thought he couldn't have it. Always torn inside, and undecided, changing his mind every 5 seconds! At least I see him clearly now!

Alvarella, you are right, it's nothing but "work, work, work", with no rewards to show for it. I guess synastry charts do not lie!

Thanks everyone for your help!
Hugs!

posted December 15, 2008 12:14 PM         

You are certainly not CURSED!

But ... if you're willing and ready to re-consider your own position a bit ... maybe ponder the first two paragraphs in my last post above. I don't want to say, that my short interpretation is 100% accurate - but I get the feeling that maybe your Mars- and Venus-placement (coupled with Juno and Chiron) might give a clue on the very high expectations you may have in love - they might be justified, don't get me wrong, please! You certainly deserve the best, as all of us. But you might be of ... a short temper in love ... or: very principle-driven. Don't know. Just ... don't take it too much to heart. I see some .. "all or nothing approach" in you stellar Mars-Venus-Combo. Maybe ... one day ... you can work on that a bit ... and find a more relaxed or patient access to matters of the heart.

posted December 15, 2008 12:37 PM         

I'm sorry to hear about your disappointments in your love life these past few years! I completely relate! The hope, and possibilites of a new love, the happiness, the feelings that run so high. But then as fast as all the good comes...it goes. The fall from the high, the disappointment, the hurt. The loss of hope. That is the epitome of my love life.

Yes, you are right, I am very "fixed" when it some to my ideas, and ideals of love. But I can't help the way I feel, or change my expectations without feeling like I'm settling for something less than I want. That's why lately I've been feeling like maybe I don't deserve the type of love that I want. I see my friends in relationships and see how happy they are. Maybe it's wrong to covet and want something that is not meant for me.

I hope you find true love Alvarella! You are not cursed...when it's time, he'll show up when you least expect it.

I have to go return his Christmas present now, since we agreed to not contact eachother anymore. I was so excited yesterday when I had picked it out. Now when I look at it, and it makes me so sad.

Thank you for your wonderful words of support!

posted December 15, 2008 04:26 PM         

But why do I always go for the non-committal, issue ridden, emotionally retarded guys???

Annaf, I think his parents are a lot more conservative than mine are. But at the end of the day, I don't think it's them, it's him. He said he realized that he is too immature for me. Gosh, I feel like such a fool. But yes, he has Peter Pan syndrome...a little boy, who never wants to grow up!

posted December 15, 2008 06:48 PM         

He says, its because he wants to save money. I don't know if that's the real reason or not. I think he likes having his momma do everything for him.

Crabbyfish, yes, it's definitely the Uranus aspects shown in the charts, but I think it's also some of his own personal issues. He's also a jerk, which doesn't help the situation.

posted December 18, 2008 03:55 PM         

As an update, in the last conversation we had I asked him for one favor...just one little favor...to please stop calling/texting me so I could move on and forget about him. He said ok. Then, what do i receive from him yesterday? A loooong text.....saying that he's so sorry for being rude to me during our last conversation, and he wished he had treated me better, and that I've been nothing but an angel to him, and he feels so bad about how things ended, blah, blah, blah. So much for expecting him to honor the favor I asked of him. Why does he keep trying to remind me and string me along? Does he want me as a backup or something in case? No offense, but is this a Scorpio thing? I've heard this from a few friends about Scorpio guys liking to keep back ups.

Anyway, just thought I'd give an update, and post the Davidson chart, cause it's a bit different from the composite. I never know which one to follow, but in this case I think the Davidson is more accurate.

posted December 18, 2008 04:45 PM         

Uranus is the apex of a t-square,Mercury-Mars opposition.

yeah...I don't focus on asteroids in composite charts. I just look at the regular planets as well as Pluto,Ceres,and Eris. I give them equal weighting as dwarf planets.

as for Chiron, I would be like.....why not use the other centaurs like Chariklo,Asbolus,Nessus,Hylonome,etc.

posted December 18, 2008 08:23 PM         

AfflictedVenus, thank you for bringing the Chiron conjunct venus/mars "wounded" aspect to my attention. I actually had never thought about that before. My relationships are one big disaster after another. And I ALWAYS go for the type of men who need some type of emotional "help" from me. Men who need to be fixed or healed. I definitely want to look into this further.

So how are you dealing with your Moon/Chiron conjunction? Have you been able to learn about what has wounded you, and what has/will heal you? I would love to hear your experiences with it. I find myself to be VERY sensitive when it comes to my love relationships. Whenever I get close to someone it triggers some deep uncomfortable emotions, that are really hard to deal with. I do want to delve deeper and figure this out, so that maybe one day I can have a healthy relationship.

Thanks so much for the input!