posted July 14, 2002 03:42 PM         

Sorry about the lost Post. Try again when you feel up to it.

posted July 14, 2002 03:51 PM         

Sorry you lost your post

Here's a "trick" that I do before I post a long one

I "highlight" my post then press "ctl c" so as to copy it....before I press submit reply....
Then if for some reason it doesn't post (which I will say is quite rare)....I still have it saved to "paste" again

Look forward to seeing your post
Sue

posted July 14, 2002 05:08 PM         

The very first time he layed his eyes on me I could not imagine what it should bring to me the following years...it was a lot!
Nine years ago...when I look back now it seems another life....hurt, pain.....(real pain)...not the pain of your ego but the pain of your hart....I wanted to know him with all of my hart....I started to read everything I could, to get an answer why things were the way they were. I wanted to understand his behaviour. Than this big recognizing between the two of us which give me this frightend feeling that let me run away from him lot's of times. He also did. Every little thing he said...he did...(almost scary) We were kids when I look back now. We hurt eachother without really knowing (hurt a lot!). And still....he is in my hart. Lot's of man came in and out of my life but could never forget him. When I'm really scared he is with me (in my mind)..when I'm really happy he's with me (always in mind). If I'm really scared the thougt of him makes me feel more safe..
Deep in me there is this feeling that we may learn to know each other on this earth-level...really...should this be really possible?....I have the strange feeling that I only know him in my mind...
Now I'm curious what is your first impression if you look at our synastrie...
me: 7/31/1971, 7:40 am, leiden (netherlands)
he: 8/24/1974, 7:20 am, Breda (netherlands)

(I asked him once how late he was born and he said: "7:20 or 7:40 in the morning". I was shocked! because that were also/always my thoughts, always forgotten which of the two it was...)

posted July 14, 2002 05:59 PM         

I'm glad you managed to post

posted July 15, 2002 07:54 PM         

very sweet of you (you're all so sweet here...it's like I talk to angels...and you know....maybe it isn't a dream...but real...maybe you are). But why do I feel it at 'this' place? I looked in a hundred forums, I discussed in everyway with everyone.....and....incredible!

I have some problems to express myself in english, that's why words are sometimes a little unnatural...in my language I want to shout it and if I write it here...thinking makes part of it.....

posted July 16, 2002 07:11 AM         

You asked.....
"But why do I feel it at 'this' place?"
I was thinking that maybe the reason for my feeling to you is that I showed you "my deepest feeling/secret" which I never spoke so easily. Maybe I was/am really scared to let this see anyone (it's what I realize myself at this right moment!)"

Tara, I hope that you will feel at home here When you read what I'll post below re 12th house - I think it may answer some of your questions for you. Perhaps coming here will "allow" you to let your Sun "escape from hiding" in the 12th house BUT you'll still be hidden in a way as it's on the internet

OK, so I've just now taken a quick look at both of your charts. Now interestingly enough you both have Sun in the 12th House and Moon in the 3rd House in your natal charts.
So you're very similar in a lot of ways

The Sun is your ego, your basic character. What you are at heart.
The 12th House is where we find restrictions, hidden enemies (as opposed to open enemies, shown by the seventh house), psychological problems, self undoing, the tendency to do ourselves in. Any planet in this house represents something we are hiding from the world, and, frequently, from ourselves as well. Of course knowing about a problem is the first step to deal with it.
(So you both have a tendency to "hide" yourselves).

Sun in the Twelfth House: This placement makes you a night person. It can also incline you to work in places of restriction, such as hospitals. There may also be tendencies towards artistic occupations. Tara, Venus is your 10th house (career) cusp ruler. Traditional Venus occupations come under the headings of beauty (including clothes and jewellery), art, charm, and the social graces (PR and event planning).

I just added the career info as I was curious as to what you do for a living.
His 10th house cusp ruler is Mercury = communications.

Now the 3rd House corresponds to the sign of Gemini, so it shows your style of communications.
The Moon in the Third House: You should have no trouble in communicating your emotions with this placement. On the plus side, people will always know where you're person "coming from", and your imagination is increased.

So again as you both have Moon in the 3rd you should have no problems communicating your emotions to each other.

posted July 16, 2002 12:14 PM         

It's really really truth...it seems like everything is hidden between us (and in myself). Communicating to each other about our feelings is not what we did but once I told him about my deepest feeling and that I should give my life for hime (never done that to no-one!!!). I had the feeling that he had to know that before something came up for example.

I realised yesterday that it is exactly 9 years ago that I met him in july. A week or something before my birthday (21/22). The last time I saw him was 30 june last year on a birthday of my best friend whom is the only contact between us (on earth). I can say, a dream came truth when I met this friend because I always thought that my only wish was to know my love forever, yust knowing how he lives, or he is happy or not and so on.....and yes.....this good friend tells me the important things I want to know although I will not ask for it...
Now, my love is separated from the mother of his child and lives with another girl with two kids. He moved from one to the other always looking for safety (I know). I live alone (no kids).

I have had two miscarriages (not from him) one and a half year ago! I had contact with a boy for 4 years but he moved away (a year ago) to another country so I could nog go on with him. I miss him sometimes, he was living in my street (an aquarius/17 feb,'77, 2:30 am).
Sometimes I feel angry with him that he left although it was also my choice and I always said to him that he must take this chance.

posted July 16, 2002 02:54 PM         

I'm glad you found the information helpful.
I didn't realise that you have not seen him for a year. Have you never tried to contact each other in that time?
Mind you, if he is living with someone else then he is not really emotionally available to you. Yes I think men find it much harder to be on their own - not all men but most of them I think.