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Author Topic:   Advice sought about love...
pearly
Knowflake

Posts: 554
From: Neptune, Milky Way, Universe
Registered: Jun 2002

posted August 10, 2002 04:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pearly     Edit/Delete Message
Ok, I couldn't decide in which forum I should ask this question, but I eventually chose here. I need some advice on a love issue...and this may be a silly question, but nevertheless is causing me confusion right now. Here's the issue:

I have been cultivating a relationship with a most amazing man. I am at a point where I don't know if I should realistically continue because.... he is allergic to cats and I have 2.

Has anyone ever experienced this? It is no minor allergy either. He is a very sensitive Scorpio and even gets allergic to too much wool. I do not think I could give up my kitties if in the future things get more serious. I mean, would that be wrong or right?

Anyway, any advice would be greatly appreciated


pearly

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Karma27
Knowflake

Posts: 32
From:
Registered: Jul 2002

posted August 10, 2002 04:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Karma27     Edit/Delete Message
Pearly,
I think you are worried too soon about this little problem. Just how deep is your relaitonship with this man? I mean, are we talking marriage?
I think asking to give up your little kitties is a lot to ask. There are ways of working around it. I know of a couple where the man is allergic to cats and they usually counteract the problem by not spending too much time at her house. Or when they do sleep there, they cover the couch and bed with a sheet and keep the cat in the next room! There are always ways around these things. Make it simple!

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pearly
Knowflake

Posts: 554
From: Neptune, Milky Way, Universe
Registered: Jun 2002

posted August 10, 2002 06:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pearly     Edit/Delete Message
Karma27

Thank you for responding. Hmmm, what can I say? Well, yes, I am talking about marriage.

Since we are now going in a more serious direction, my intuition says it is the right time to decide if I'd be willing to give up my cats for him. (Gosh, this seems so ridiculous as I write, but it is a real issue believe it or not!)

One of my cats I believe is connected to me in a soulmate way. If it was a matter of a boyfriend sleeping over thing, I would not be nearly as concerned. I mean, past boyfriends really had no choice about my cats, allergic or not! They had to get over it!

But in all seriousness, this is a problem I WILL encounter if I decide to move forward with this man. My respect, desire and love for him has actually made me contemplate giving my cats to family...and it makes me feel guilty. I have thought about possible solutions (like having a ranch ) but, that is not something that would be possible, at least not right off the bat.

I am sure my explanations here are gaining peals of laughter, I know I'd think this was funny! ...hmmm, I guess I could be in a worse predicament.

Anyway, any other thoughts you may have would be great. I like the karmic aspect of your name... very interesting that you responded. Also, my life path number is 9.

Take care,
Pearly

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PurpleI
Knowflake

Posts: 24
From: Nevada USA
Registered: Aug 2002

posted August 10, 2002 07:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for PurpleI     Edit/Delete Message
Pearly

Like you I too follow the Lifepath that is mine under the 9 vibrational Influence
In the end I would always trust 9 People to make the big decisions and the right ones in the final outcome
They Just tend to be overlooked often because they have to be stretched and stretched and stretched before that Boss energy will start to emerge

Peaceful Dwelling
PurpleI


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Cat
Moderator

Posts: 3307
From: England
Registered: Jan 2002

posted August 10, 2002 07:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Cat     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Pearly
Nice to meet you

Well I had two cats - sadly they both died a few years ago. I had them both from kittens, one died at the age of 13 and the other was 18. So believe me I know how you feel.

Tell me.....
Has your boyfriend said "the cats will have to go" or is this just your feeling?
Sue

PS: Has he tried "allergy tablets"??
By the way....my birthday is 9th of the 9th

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pearly
Knowflake

Posts: 554
From: Neptune, Milky Way, Universe
Registered: Jun 2002

posted August 10, 2002 09:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pearly     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Purplel!
Ah, the 9. I find it to be a rather sober vibration. Lots of lessons. But you are right about what you said! Thanks for the wisdom... Peace to you

Hi Cat!
We've met on another topic, although it is easy to forget when you give as much as YOU do around here! Anyway, hello!

Thanks for your response. I am touched to hear of your cats. I have been thinking about when that day will come for me and it is a bit sad to dwell on. I've had both of mine since they were kittens and now they are 8 and 10. Time has gone so fast! They are strong and healthy now but eventually the day will come. I don't think I even thought about how I'd feel about them dying when I got them.

So, about my man. Yes, he has expressed that it would be a problem. Once he said he could try to tolerate it, but then followed that with a "bad allergic reaction" story that was just awful. Generally I would advise a girlfriend (if she had the same problem) that she should not give up her cats and if he really loved her she would not have to. But, in all fairness, I have witnessed the allergic reactions and it is not just to cats.

I'm sure that if I go further I would eventually give up my cats. But, do I want to do this? No, I don't think so. But it's weird, because then I am saying that my cats are more important than someone I'd spend my life with... which, I can't decide, is wrong or right?


Most of our time together has been spent at his place. He lives in another city... and state. Already I forsee sacrifice on my end in that department, for I'd have to move. Although he has mentioned possibly moving to my state which would be wonderful, it is all really dependent on his job.

He is successful and amazing and electric. We are unbelieveably good together. I suppose I am at a crossroads with the relationship though, because of all that it would require. If I move on with it, I am just getting emotionally more involved. I believe I could probably sacrafice alot (moving, work change), but my cats are a BIG thing here. I am putting so much forethought into this because I think I may be getting in over my head. But maybe I shouldn't worry about it and let the Universe handle it. I can definitely do that, but how would I feel when the day came to actually give up my cats? Of course, many things could happen along the way and maybe we wouldn't decide to get married, I know this too. Then this worry would be for nothing. However, it seems more likely than not that we will develop that way.

Maybe I'm crazy. It's possible!
What do you think of all this??

Pearly

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gladeyes
Knowflake

Posts: 95
From: England
Registered: Apr 2002

posted August 11, 2002 01:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for gladeyes     Edit/Delete Message
I think you are right to think seriously about it now. Not only would you be giving up the cats you would love but it means you wouldn't ever be able to have any whilst you were with him. If you had children and they wanted cats, they would have to be denied. Cats have always been a big part of my life from when I was a baby, and although everytime I lose one I always say I won't have another, sooner or later cats come into my life and I can't imagine my home without one.

It may be that if you do decide to marry him you will have to deny a part of youself.

Love Gladeyes

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pearly
Knowflake

Posts: 554
From: Neptune, Milky Way, Universe
Registered: Jun 2002

posted August 14, 2002 09:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pearly     Edit/Delete Message
Hi...
I've been out of town for a few days and just now am able to get back in here....

Thank you, Gladeyes, for your response. All those things you mentioned, I have been considering. Impressively tough issue which is deceptively mild in nature. But compared to real World problems, it is really rather small, so I'm not going to dwell on it.

I really appreciate all the reponses, thank you all so much. I am still quite unsure about what to do, but I know it will probably solve itself. I can't torture myself any longer

There is something funny to relate though...
One of my cats is extremely perceptive to this issue and always knows when we are on the phone together. I don't think my cat is too happy about it as he always throws the biggest temper and attitude when we are talking... and only when it is my man on the phone. He knows who it is, I'm sure of it! Sometimes I am amazed at the human qualities in my cat!

Anyway, take care
Pearly

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