posted October 08, 2002 09:02 PM         

And I'm not going to say what all mom's say, including myself as I have a daughter age 12, "You are only 15! You have your whole life in front of you stop trying to rush it!" because at 15, hormones are raging and your body is growing so fast and sometimes you just can't seem to understand what in the world is happening to you! You feel invincible! And beyond aging! For all of the universes knowledge is within you! But yet, nothing quite seems to go like you think it should!!

Truth is, that knowledge is just as big as the universe! Therefore I don't know anyone who knows it all, especially in the field of love...oh love...it's such a wonderful feeling yet the most painful in the world, when someone doesn't love you. Or you think they don't love you. I have a friend named Kevin and he and I have this funny joke/saying between us, "I'm so perfect I should marry myself, I'm the only one perfect enough to marry me" LOL...

And you know, sometimes, I think it's OK to think that...because ultimately YOU are the one who has the power to control your happiness. And please don't forget that girls mature SO much faster than boys. I never realized that until I compare my daughter to my nephews..the difference is amazing. Emily is totally self sufficient, my nephews on the other hand, oh boy! LOL!

has that frown turned upside down yet?

And you are probably like most women, sometimes it's just good to get it all out, sometimes we don't want anyones advice on what to do, we just need someone to listen, someone to say "I understand!!"

So...pretty much...I'm saying this to you..."I hear you and I understand!!!"

*hugs*

tomorrow is another day...you make it the best now, for tomorrow it will be WONDERFUL WEDNESDAY!

------------------
When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall, always.

- Mahatma Gandhi

posted October 08, 2002 09:55 PM         

I don't have any wise advice to offer, but I do know how it feels to have put all your love, trust, and faith in someone and then to find out that they don't want it - you're probably feeling like the most worthless, unloveable being to ever curse the earth. But don't worry - the way he feels towards that other girl and/or doesn't feel towards you is due to no fault or lacking of yours...it's just the way things are. It's not to be controlled or fussed over - even though I - wow, do I - know that it's nearly impossibly hard to see that at this moment.
And I get the part about not trusting yourself. I thought/(think), "If I can make this big a mistake with my feelings, how can I ever trust myself with them again?" ... Eh, I'm still working on how to resolve that one; suggestions, anyone?
Things do get better - of course, the past couple of days I thought I was doing great, and then (now) I'm in tears about the whole ordeal again.
So a big ole' empathetic cyber hug and hankey to you (and that's not meant flippantly; that's just the way I write sometimes).
But if this makes any difference:
I'm only 22 (hey - that's not *that* much older), and I can honestly say that the only emotion that emerges when I think about my Gemini boyfriend that tore out my heart and broiled it when I was your age is a mild chagrin and the peace of a lesson well learned (that lesson being not to date a Gemini guy )
So, I guess they're all right - it'll just take time.
Yeah, I know that that's both the last thing you want to hear and the most innane thing you could imagine anyone saying, but it's horribly, painfully, wonderfully true.

Corri

PS - And I'm another Pisces gal (btw: we rule ), so I empathize with the fantastic emotional whirlpool you feel yourself in right now. The only advice I can offer is to go with it: let yourself fully feel whatever comes up without allowing yourself to become that emotion. Also, if you try to supress what you're feeling, it'll either just deepen and grow worse or foment and turn to an (not wholly) irrational anger that'll burst out when you least expect (and want) it to. You'll do or say something completely insane, and then go, "Now where'd that come from?"
Go wit da flow, as we fish are so good at doing.

posted October 08, 2002 10:51 PM         

I don't think there is any right or wrong answer here...but you know what lies in your heart and there lies your faith, side by side...I'm guessing your heart feels broken right now, well, turn over and lean on that faith that is beside you...your faith is waiting on you...

I don't think you've lost it, but the clouds of heartbreak are making it kinda hard to see it...but to me, just thinking about your faith is reason enough for me to believe that it's still alive and well in you. Maybe you are just scratching the surface here with this situation, for love is complicated and complex and it's waves change like the ocean--can't turn your back on it for a second, lest it knock you down!

I can promise this to you though, this is one of many many journeys you will travel...take the lessons, which will reveal themselves as time goes by, and put them in the data banks of your memory..for future use..one day you might bring it out like a photo album and say "wow...now I see why that happened the way that it did"

*hugs*

------------------
When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall, always.

- Mahatma Gandhi

posted October 09, 2002 07:22 AM         

I think Garth Brooks says it best in 'Unanswered Prayers'.

"Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you’re talking to the man up the stairs
That just because he doesn’t answer doesn’t mean he don’t care
Some of God’s createst gifts are unanswered prayers"

not to take away anything from your pain but would you rather have what you think/feel you want or what is truly in your best interest. Faith isn't about not having your prayers answered but working with what you have and finding the path you need to walk to be the best you can be, to grow into who you are meant to be. And for some strange reason, we humans only seem to manage to do that through pain. Ask for help and you will receive it but you have to be open to receiving because it might not come in the way you expect.

posted October 09, 2002 10:50 PM         

All I can say is: "This too shall pass"

----------
To see the world in a grain of sand
And Heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour.
--William Blake--
Auguries of Innocence

posted October 13, 2002 01:26 AM         

How are you?
Have you thought about the possibility that your Faith, as you know it at 15 years old, is actually working to PROTECT you?
At 15, you are still very young, and what you THINK your ready for, is not always the best decision for you to make. Please don't be depressed about being wrong about someone, and the time wasted in your yearnings. Even adults get fooled sometimes.
At 15, this is your EDUCATION involving consciousness. The awareness of yourself as well as other's in the sharing of thoughts, ideas and making sense of life. Don't be too hard on yourself okay? I understand that your young and you are serious about taking Life and Living by the balls, but be patient dear one. Your day will come. Practice Patience.
It will be your truest ally and the greatest reward in assisting you in finding the right boyfriend, when you are ready to deal with the demands of having a relationship.
Remember, at your age, relationships should not be too serious. Do not allow anyone to pressure you into adult situations. It should be about getting to know yourself as well as other people through interactions of enjoying and experiencing life as a teen.
It is very important to live and experience the teenage years by being responsible and not rushing in trying to be an adult too soon. You will have the rest of your life to be an adult when other BIGGER responsibilities will take place, so enjoy yourself as a 15 year old and realize that your dilemma is as natural as the sun rising every morning.
You are experiencing very natural changes that other's your age are also going through and perhaps not willing to talk about, so don't sweat it!
Life is mysterious and it is ever changing. People will also change as they learn and grow and make personal changes in their attitude and lifestyle. Even adults change in some capacity every few years. So, don't rush things sweetheart. What you know of someone today as a teen, will no longer be valid at a later date.
The best advice I can give to you is to let you know that you are NOT alone.
As a teen, you go through awkward stages of feeling various emotions as feeling too introverted, too ugly, too fat, too skinny, too many zits and everything else. Your body is still changing, so go easy on your attitude young lady, for one day soon, this will pass and you will realize that it was all a silly little phase. When you look in that mirror, you will see a Beautiful, loving, gentle and caring young woman who is now confident and secure.
Star, (and you are a star) Take life one step at a time, and all will work in your favor.
Trust Me!

posted October 17, 2002 08:19 AM         

Hang in there little Angel.....have faith and everything will be just wonderful.