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Author Topic:   Leo Girl Closed for Balance ...
Jaqueline
Knowflake

Posts: 1088
From: Rio de Janeiro , Brazil
Registered: Oct 2002

posted November 06, 2002 10:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jaqueline     Edit/Delete Message
This is the situation.
I divorced 18 months ago and since my separation I don't get to be interested for anyone .
In the beginning it's normal ,a separation always leaves some scar, but this phase already passed and I continue avoiding to get involved emotionally.

I met several men, intelligent, sensitive, beautiful, rich... okay, none of them had all at these qualities at the same time , but I am not a child and I know that nobody had all of them togheter.

Sometimes I accept an invitation to have dinner and in the middle of the night,I just want to leave running of the restaurant. As I cannot make that,I finish transporting myself mentally for another place.
Some friends think that I am very demanding, another that I am throwing away wonderful men because I am afraid of an involvement.

I admit that I was not concerned about that until last week. All weekends I go out to dance with my best friend, I love to dance.
Last weekend I was in this place that I always go, a mixture of restaurant , bar, lounge [ with a great music btw ] and a met this guy. We talked for some time ,he was a nice guy, then his friend arrived wanting to leave, the friend was in his car,so, he asked me the following question:
If I will take my friend home do you wait for me here ? I'll be back just for you ?!
Yes,I said. He left.

Ten minutes later,another man called me to dance, I went. 30 minutes later I continued dancing when he returned, I did not remembered him anymore untill I saw that man looking at me ....
And the worst is that I just didn't care.

This is just an example of my "new" behavior,I can give a lot of others...But since this episode, I began to worry 'cause I noticed that for all the wrong reasons I am acting exactly like a man.
I don't know what I should blame. My transits ? My heart ? My head ? All of them togheter ?

Jakie

"If what Proust says is true, that happiness is the absence of fever, then I will never know happiness.
For I am possessed by a fever for knowledge, experience, and creation." -Anais Nin

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Aphrodite
Moderator

Posts: 3280
From: San Francisco, CA, United States
Registered: Feb 2002

posted November 07, 2002 09:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aphrodite     Edit/Delete Message
hi jackie . . .

"I noticed that for all the wrong reasons I am acting exactly like a man. "

aphrodite

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Carlo
Knowflake

Posts: 1449
From: El Lay, the Reel World
Registered: Nov 2000

posted November 07, 2002 11:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Carlo     Edit/Delete Message
First, I think you should remove the word "blame" from your vocabulary altogether, Rio Leo...you can do and think and be anything you want. So what if the guy showed back up...you were still there, like you said. And you are in Rio!!! That's what people do in the clubs! You Latin women, ahhh...I just saw the movie Frida yesterday. See that and then tell me what you think. You are still hurting, dear, so it's just that you are indifferent right now to others, and that is just fine. There is no such thing as guilt or fault or blame, ever ever ever. All of your feelings and actions and reactions are true and good and right! You are perfect for feeling the way you do! It's not like you are trying to hurt anyone, so just be yourself and you are just perfect gods, a Leo in Rio, what could be sexier!

Love,
Carlo

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Jaqueline
Knowflake

Posts: 1088
From: Rio de Janeiro , Brazil
Registered: Oct 2002

posted November 07, 2002 01:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jaqueline     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Aphrodite

What I wanted to say is that I'm not having my "romantic girl" behavior for a while...

Jakie

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Jaqueline
Knowflake

Posts: 1088
From: Rio de Janeiro , Brazil
Registered: Oct 2002

posted November 07, 2002 01:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jaqueline     Edit/Delete Message
Carlo

Thanks for your words.
I am standing in front of this computer for ten minutes reading what you wrote .
One particular sentence made me stop to think:

quote:
You are still hurting, dear, so it's just that you are indifferent right now to others, and that is just fine.

Do you know what's funny ? A person that never saw me,can describe the situation that I am living in a perfect way .
That has been happening frequently here in Lindaland, I have met people that get to see through the screen of this pc... that's amazing !

Why this fantasy with Rio ?
Rio is not exactly what everybody think. It's really a beautiful city, sometimes it seems that I live in a picture, the energy is fantastic... but the life of who lives and was born here is the same life as anywhere in the world.

Again,thanks for your kind words, I apreciate them very much and I'll remove "blame" from my vocabulary !

Take care
Jakie

ps. I was trying to change my picture at "knowflake photoalbum" and I saw a picture of you and your son...nice picture btw

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Aphrodite
Moderator

Posts: 3280
From: San Francisco, CA, United States
Registered: Feb 2002

posted November 07, 2002 02:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aphrodite     Edit/Delete Message
hi jackie,

don't worry, this too shall pass

believe me on at least that

aphrodite

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Jaqueline
Knowflake

Posts: 1088
From: Rio de Janeiro , Brazil
Registered: Oct 2002

posted November 07, 2002 04:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jaqueline     Edit/Delete Message
Aphrodite

Thanks dear ! I believe

Jakie

"The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved"
Victor Hugo

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Carlo
Knowflake

Posts: 1449
From: El Lay, the Reel World
Registered: Nov 2000

posted November 08, 2002 10:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Carlo     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Jakie,

Plus you have all that fabulous Tuscan blood, you'll be just fine don't you find that having the Italian blood makes you much more of a romantic? I do

Love,
Carlo

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Jaqueline
Knowflake

Posts: 1088
From: Rio de Janeiro , Brazil
Registered: Oct 2002

posted November 08, 2002 02:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jaqueline     Edit/Delete Message
Sorry... double post

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Jaqueline
Knowflake

Posts: 1088
From: Rio de Janeiro , Brazil
Registered: Oct 2002

posted November 08, 2002 02:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jaqueline     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Carlo

Extremely romantic, but I don't know if that is due to the Tuscan blood .Maybe this has to do with the lack of earth that I feel about myself.
The elements in my natal chart are in balance, 22% fire, 26% earth, 26% water and 26% air.In spite of this, I feel a lack of earth that sometimes, makes me fly.
But anything that I cannot fix .

The poem that you wrote demonstrates that you are a romantic person. I find that a quality, mainly in a man .

love
Jakie

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Carlo
Knowflake

Posts: 1449
From: El Lay, the Reel World
Registered: Nov 2000

posted November 09, 2002 11:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Carlo     Edit/Delete Message
Oh well thank you, Jaqueline
it is nice to be appreciated for one's passion for writing. My three planets in Kitty are purring want to see another poem I wrote, it's to Sappho, from Phaon. You'd have to know a little about that legend, I assume you do...

http://lovestarz.com/phaon.html

I have written lots of poetry, I will share it here sometimes thank you again for your kind words, lovely Lioness!

Bright Blessings,
Carlo

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Jaqueline
Knowflake

Posts: 1088
From: Rio de Janeiro , Brazil
Registered: Oct 2002

posted November 10, 2002 10:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jaqueline     Edit/Delete Message
Carlo

You are a poet and I didn't knew. I simply loved your poetry for Sappho, and yes, I know her story. It was so beautiful from you to have writing as Phaon to Sappho. I loved your vision about the other side of the story.
I also didn't knew that you have a web site... I don't read profiles.
Great site. I navigated for it and discovered your admiration for the Greek gods.
I have a great interest about them also . I always use to say that I never leave my Ariadne's thread ... in fact I wrote this here, at another forum ,last week .
My daughter's name is Cleo ,and it's not difficult to guess where I went to look for inspiration for her name.

But I admit that my real identification is with the Egyptian goddess Sekhmet.
If I could choose to be a divinity, I would be Sekhmet. Do you know about her ?

Please share your poems with us.I developed my passion for poetry since I read a book of a great Brazilian poet when I had only 14 years old and ever since, books of poetries have guaranteed presence on my shelf .

Take care
Jakie

"The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved"
Victor Hugo

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Carlo
Knowflake

Posts: 1449
From: El Lay, the Reel World
Registered: Nov 2000

posted November 10, 2002 10:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Carlo     Edit/Delete Message
Ah yes, the divine Sekhmet Her name is derived from the Ancient Egyptian word sekhem, meaning "power." Sekhmet is the great Lion Goddess, the fierce twin of Bast. She is usually depicted as a woman in red with the head of a lionness, crowned by an uraeus-encircled solar disk. She is often shown holding both the ankh and the lotus scepter. In the form of the serpent Goddess, Sekhmet took up Her position on the head of Her Father, Ra. In Her form of "the Eye of Ra burning the enemy," Sekhmet is the fire which destroys the serpent Apep. Throughout Egyptian history, Sekhmet was regarded as a power to be invoked to protect the good and annihilate the wicked. Sekhmet is also a great healer, and has the ability to transform, rather than destroy, the negative or dark side of any situation. Maybe she was the model for the sphinx! here is a cute poem about the sphinx...

I know all about the Sphinx –
I know even when she thinks,
Staring with her stony eyes
Up forever at the skies.

For last night I dreamed that she
Told me all the mystery –
Why for ćons mute she sat: –
She was just cut out for that!

~ James Whitcomb Riley, The Sphinx, from Afterwhiles, 1887.

why do you relate to Her so much, Jakie? I don't imagine that you are destructive, so maybe it is the protectoress and healer aspect of Her? or is it a Leo thing? Here is a nice page on Her:

http://www.teenwitch.com/DEITY/KMT/SEKHMET.HTM

Thank you for your sweet comments too, they are very inspiring and how old is the darling Cleo?

Bright Blessings,
Carlo

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Jaqueline
Knowflake

Posts: 1088
From: Rio de Janeiro , Brazil
Registered: Oct 2002

posted November 10, 2002 11:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jaqueline     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Carlo

There's a good description of Sekhmet in this link . It's a dream link,but I liked that description:

quote:
Sekhmet works closely with those who have been abused or hurt by other people. She can be invoked to help process the pain and rage associated with the original injuries, and as a defender, against further injury.
She is also a Goddess that help us to pass the execution of karmic justice, freeing oneself from the cycle of further involvement with the abusers.

Sekhmet...Lady of a Thousand Names...


http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum15/HTML/000129.html

She destroyed man kind for love and for loyalty to her father, and unhappily like her, I am capable to do a lot of nonsenses for love...but,like her, I also regret.

Thanks for the web site

11 years old,it's the age of my little Cleo"patra".

love
Jakie

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Jaqueline
Knowflake

Posts: 1088
From: Rio de Janeiro , Brazil
Registered: Oct 2002

posted November 10, 2002 08:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jaqueline     Edit/Delete Message
Carlo

I have no talent for poetry,but for some mysterious and unfathomable reasons I decided to write one ...about two months ago . You don't need to- and please,you should not - give me your opinion. This was the first and the last.

"That one that I cannot look "

That one that I cannot look , is the only one that I see.
That one that I don't know, is the only one that I guess.
That one that calls me, has a voice that I never heard.
That one that fills out my life, makes it without knowing.
That one that live in my heart, entered unintentionally.

That one that loves my smile, never saw my lips.
That one that I feel so close to me , is the one that is more distant.
That one that is my Master , is the same who says that I teach him.
That one that is so equal to me it, is the one that is the most different.
That one that I scare with my words , is the same one that is enchanted with them.

That one that I dedicate all these words, is the same that will leave me because of them...
_______________________________________________________________

Three planets in Leo... Is Venus one of them ?

Jakie

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Carlo
Knowflake

Posts: 1449
From: El Lay, the Reel World
Registered: Nov 2000

posted November 11, 2002 01:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Carlo     Edit/Delete Message
Aw, what a nice age, 11...is she never wanting to be around you, thinking she knows it all? or is that more around age 9?

you're poem is lovely oops, I take it back, I meant to keep quiet

Yes, Venus at 15° Leo, and Mercury and Mars there too. It might explain the closeness I always felt to Leos...

Love,
Carlo

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Jaqueline
Knowflake

Posts: 1088
From: Rio de Janeiro , Brazil
Registered: Oct 2002

posted November 11, 2002 09:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jaqueline     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Carlo

My daughther always thought that she knows everything...Sag sun sign,Capricorn rising and her moon in Scorpio.
But we are close friends. I think that she "will" leave me in 2 ou 3 years. You know how "teens" are.

I don't know much about astrology,but I see that you have three "important" planets in Leo.
I have three planets in Virgo : Uranus,Mercury and Pluto. All of them at the 8th house,including my Sun in this same house...
My Venus is in Libra,9th house.
Maybe you can help me with this question : What exactly means the 8th house ?

Thanks for what you said about my little poem

Love
Jakie

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Carlo
Knowflake

Posts: 1449
From: El Lay, the Reel World
Registered: Nov 2000

posted November 11, 2002 11:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Carlo     Edit/Delete Message
Three planets in Virgo in the 8th house...sounds like you'll be the death of me

8th house is Scorpio stuff (8th sign), death and transformation, change, etc. I don't have the time today to go further with it, I will get back to you on it It sounds like you and I should get along just fine, we each have Mercury in each other's Sun sign. And Venus in Libra rules Where is your Moon, Jakie?

Love,
Carlo

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Jaqueline
Knowflake

Posts: 1088
From: Rio de Janeiro , Brazil
Registered: Oct 2002

posted November 11, 2002 03:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jaqueline     Edit/Delete Message
Carlo

Are you afraid of death ?
I'm not

My moon is in Taurus. Aquarius rising.
When you have time,teach me about the 8th house...

love
Jakie

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Carlo
Knowflake

Posts: 1449
From: El Lay, the Reel World
Registered: Nov 2000

posted November 13, 2002 10:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Carlo     Edit/Delete Message
Afraid of death, hell no...I mean I am not inviting it or anything I think I know how I want to die though...like Richard Prior said when he was doing standup...right as the bombs go off, he wants to be just on the verge of an orgasm...like "ah...ahhhh...ahhhBOOOM!!" lol me too in mid-stroke...that's how Al Capone died too, and Attila the Hun...and I know that there are some people here who think I am like those guys, so I may as well go like them

8th house...oh Jakie, there are nicer houses to talk about let's see, I'll work on finding som more stuff on it and send it to you. I think it's a transformation thing, like you stand to transform Virgo people a great deal with those planets there. How do you see it manifest, all that Virgo in your 8th? It is compatible with Scorpio, so it couldn't be too bad...what do you think?

I'll see what I can dig up for you oh, digging up stuff is a Scorpio thing too

Love,
Carlo

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Carlo
Knowflake

Posts: 1449
From: El Lay, the Reel World
Registered: Nov 2000

posted November 13, 2002 10:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Carlo     Edit/Delete Message

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Carlo
Knowflake

Posts: 1449
From: El Lay, the Reel World
Registered: Nov 2000

posted November 15, 2002 10:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Carlo     Edit/Delete Message

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