posted November 21, 2002 11:08 AM
"Vivid."I was 20 years old and living in a new city in the Fall. James was in his senior year at the Academy of Art, studying film. He had just finished directing a documentary on AIDS. We agreed to meet at the movie theater 1000 Van Ness at 7:00 pm . . . I arrived 1/2 an hour late. I was stepping out of the bus and he stood in front of the doors. He was about to get on the bus to leave and thought I was not showing up.
I apologized for my naivity for not knowing the city bus schedules. He answered, "Make sure you have a student ID to pay for your ticket stub. Prices are 1/2 off."
Arlington Road was a dry and dull film, I had fallen asleep mid-way.
After which, we walked to Tommy's Joint for dinner. An Aries man, he opened the door to let himself in, whilst letting the door slam in my face behind.
Naturally, I was very curious for the roots of his rudeness. Anyone else would have left. I politely stayed, entirely focused on knowing what exactly was his Achilles heel. Paying for my own ticket stub and dinner was a small price for what I was planning to probe insight from.
James talked, gossiped, and bragged about his greatness. I smiled inside, how anyone could think foolishness as a good facade for loneliness.
We made our way to Grace Cathedral. A beautiful church nestled on Nob Hill across from the Crocker Mansion. There is a children's park in between, and we sat on the swings staring at the stars that we would never be able to touch.
James talked about his last girlfriend, Miyako. He said he grew bored of her, and said he was not married to her---so his commitment waned.
"There was no ring on my finger, to keep me there."
He grew bored of himself. A coward for blaming a woman, for his lack of amusement.
I grew bored of him, for my lack of amusement.
A confession of denial . . . was worth the price of a bad movie and a turkey dinner.
A wish Miyako may never hear manifested, into her little ear.
by Aphrodite Sky