Posts: 12
From: pune, India
Registered: Dec 2002

posted December 07, 2002 03:48 AM         

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Hi ppl,
Need help here, its like i'm stuk in a limbo...
I'm a 24 year old taurian male, hooked on emotionally to a 40 year old libran female widow, who is also my distant relative. She also has 2 children.
It was a year ago, that she lost her husband in a car accident. 6 months later I landed up at her place due to work problems.
I felt bad for her whn i saw her situation, people were letting her down and trying to make more trouble, so i acted as a friend and counselled her in all respect....
in a matter of a few days we got very attached we go,on talking for hours about anything. I knew that we were getting emotionally involed, and this feeling grew by the hour, until the day before I left for home we made love, (she provoked it, not that i regrett it...)I tried my best that this relation does not end up in bed, but it did.
It is now 6 months now since I've been going to her city and place just to be with her can'nt seem to function properly without her.
My last visit (a month ago) she seemed to lay off a little she aske me to leave earlier than my scheluded date (she said people r begining to suspect..... no one knows about our relation).
So i came back to my place and it is not like before, that she would look forward to my phone call, or call me p if i would miss a day, just to tell me that she loves me and misses me, but now its like only i call and even if i miss for a week she does'nt, she no longer tells me that she loves me or misses me. we cant talk like we used to before.
The point is that now i'm just too involed,
Please help me!
I get the feeling that i was used.

my name is Tuhin (24-04-78)
her Name Ritu also called as Tina (02 october 62)

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Posts: 556
From:
Registered: Oct 2002

posted December 07, 2002 10:37 AM         

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She may feel a little weirded out because you are a distant relative and because of the age difference. Why do you think she used you?

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Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted December 07, 2002 01:03 PM         

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Welcome!

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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Posts: 2007
From: Boca Raton, FL USA
Registered: Sep 2002

posted December 07, 2002 09:28 PM         

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Welcome 2in. I hope you find your answers!

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Food is the only art that nourishes!

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Posts: 12
From: pune, India
Registered: Dec 2002

posted December 08, 2002 10:07 AM         

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Hi Alena,
I think she used me to get someone to get back on lifes track, well now that it has been achieved she does'nt wanna have to do anything with me........ but fact remains that i'm hooked on to her not sexually, but emotionally, cant do without seeing her

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Posts: 54
From: New York
Registered: Dec 2002

posted December 08, 2002 02:46 PM         

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Hi 2in.

A partnership requires TWO signatures.

I believe she got what she needed from you and she is done with you, so now you need to move on to greener pastures.

You cannot change people and you cannot make someone love you who does not want to. From what you have written, it appears to me that she has given out plenty of signals that she just is not interested in a relationship with you at this time. I advise you chalk it up to experience and spend your energy on someone who will appreciate a protective (and sometimes smotheringly possessive) Taurean and love you in return.

I know, you say you need her emotionally, and blah, blah, blah--but, hey, it's over and done, it was fun--move on. She's not interested.

moth

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Posts: 556
From:
Registered: Oct 2002

posted December 08, 2002 04:26 PM         

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Moth that was a little brutal and why the need to say "smotheringly possessive"? Are you speaking from a personal experience with a Taurus or something? Sounded bitter........Anyway, 2in....it seems like you guys were there for each other when you each had some problems. I cannot say how she feels about you but from what you said the age difference is a big factor with her. Also as far as not functioning properly without her, you can...you did before. I wish I could say something to make you feel better but we both know I can't. Time will heal your heart. I wish you all the best.

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Posts: 191
From:
Registered: Nov 2002

posted December 08, 2002 04:48 PM         

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Hello 2in
I read your story and I would like to suggest that you talk with this woman and ask her right out what reasons she has for avoiding you now after such an intense relationship.
We never know the reason someone does something like this and instead of torturing yourself with the why and how of not knowing, help yourself by discussing it with her. Even if that means you have to go there personally. At least this way you will find out the truth.
I wish I could make you feel better but the only advice I can offer you is to do this for yourself so you can move on knowing that you gave this relationship your best and that YOU deserve the best...you really do 2in

Moth I'm sure you were trying to help 2in but as a Taurean myself I don't consider loving someone as much as 2in loves this lady now, is "smothering".

2in, Alena might have a point...maybe this lady feels the age diff is an issue and she doesn't know how to tell you. Regardless of what her reasons are, the fact is you don't know...so sweet one, why don't you go find out? Call her up or go see her and ask her...you will come away knowing more than you do now and then decide. If you need help afterwards we are all here for you.

Love
Mystique

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Posts: 23
From: London
Registered: Sep 2002

posted December 09, 2002 12:07 PM         

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Dear 2in
I feel for you and wish I could make everything better. Sending you feeling better wishes.

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Posts: 745
From: Paris,France
Registered: Nov 2002

posted December 09, 2002 02:35 PM         

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maybe you should just ask her what's going on?

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Posts: 12
From: pune, India
Registered: Dec 2002

posted December 10, 2002 01:34 AM         

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thank you ppl,
you realy made feel good, since I had no one else to talk to about it I do feel much better now THANK YOU!!
By the way, she called up yesterday, by herself, since i hadnt called in over ten days, it seems she was very busy the whole day and in the evening she was just too tired. but even so she called, so i started to talk about general stuff..... we talked fot like 25 mins, and then I heard the the words that i wanted to...... "i love you, i miss you......" well it felt like the best day of my life.
well tell me ppl what do i make of this .....

Alena and Mystique thank you for your support
2in

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Posts: 2007
From: Boca Raton, FL USA
Registered: Sep 2002

posted December 10, 2002 03:00 AM         

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I don't know but 2in I am happy to find out your happiness! Just don't let her hurt you again

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Food is the only art that nourishes!

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Posts: 556
From:
Registered: Oct 2002

posted December 10, 2002 10:17 AM         

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2in, I am happy for you But I think that you should talk to her about what's going on between you. It would be best to get things out in the open and be completely honest with each other.

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Posts: 191
From:
Registered: Nov 2002

posted December 10, 2002 05:32 PM         

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Oh 2in I am happy you feel a little lighter today...I really am.
I will feel even happier for you when you reveal to her how sad and uncomfortable you felt these past 10 days...with all the anticipation and "not knowing". She needs to know how YOU felt and that your love for her is not there as a convenience. I truly hope for you that she is equally honest and you guys work it out.

Remember always to be true to YOU and the rest will fall into place. All the best and God bless!

Love
Mystique

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Posts: 12
From: pune, India
Registered: Dec 2002

posted December 12, 2002 10:17 PM         

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Hey ppl,
She just called, and like you suggested I brought up the topic.
we discussed this for an hour and a half, I told her exactly how i felt and what i went through. She felt very bad almost broke down, but she felt that I should move on with my life and that it would be unfair if she got me stuck up with her, BTW she is comfortable ith the age diff, so she was like you a career to case and a future to look forward to and stuff. She also said that what we had was Very special, and that she will cherish it forever and that in the future she will have the same affection for me, and that she would be my best friend forever............
so I told her that everything was too sudden and if she could chill with the pace and it will happen eventually

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People see things as they are and ask why, I dream of things that never were and say why not........

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Posts: 16464
From: Columbus, GA USA
Registered: Nov 2000

posted December 13, 2002 01:05 PM         

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"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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Posts: 191
From:
Registered: Nov 2002

posted December 13, 2002 07:09 PM         

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You must feel relieved that you got everything out in the open 2in...I'm happy for you...just follow your heart and you will be fine

Love
Mystique

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Posts: 2007
From: Boca Raton, FL USA
Registered: Sep 2002

posted December 13, 2002 10:49 PM         

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Yes 2in I am so happy to hear you explained how you felt and two both got alot of questions answered and everything out in the open.

I hope for the best for you two and have a great weekend!

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Food is the only art that nourishes!

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Posts: 61
From: new jersey, usa
Registered: Nov 2001

posted December 27, 2002 12:37 AM         

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Hi 2in,

I was just reading this thread and I just wanted to wish you peace of mind and well being. I know how difficult it is to lose someone you love. I had lost someone myself over a year ago and have not been with anyone since. I still feel the pain acutely. And like you, it was a deep emotional connection (which I am a bit surprised about, being that you're a Taurus. You guys are typically known for your more physical attachments. And I know firsthand b/c the one I lost was also a Taurus.) I am a Pisces so on my end the emotions were quite unbearable. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that my heart goes out to you and that I am sending much love and light your way.....

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