posted July 24, 2003 08:27 AM         

For the past 3 & a half years I have been in a wonderful relationship full of warmth trust love and shared ideals with a capricorn boy who I really love and really loves me at a very deep level.

On Sunday I went to see the Pisces for the first time in 6 years, my feelings were the same. He has an uncontrolable effect on me, and just makes me shake, nobody has ever had this effect on me.

However in terms of our beliefs and way of life, he is everything I cannot stand and disagree with.

He said i could stay in the upstairs bedroom. I went down to his room and then he came up to the bedroom. We nearly had sex but it was just the same as before- he did not look at me or kiss me, then he said no it wasn't right, and I left...I completely humiliated myself- i acted asif i have learnt nothing in the last 6 years. And i have hurt my Capricorn wizard terribly. I feel so gutted and so confused.

posted July 24, 2003 09:12 AM         

It tears my heart when I read your words. Especially for Cappy boyfriend. Did you talk about this to him in honesty? Finding out together why this happend or why this is still affecting you so much seems the best thing to do yet it might not work in theory. Gosh Blossom, I feel for you. And why you still feel this way about Pisces only you know, don't you? Please nurture your bond with Cappy, it sounds só special and pure!

posted August 07, 2003 03:09 AM         

I hope Orange Blossom wanders back here, and reads everyone's words. It sounds to me as if her Venus in Pisces resonates to the Pisces boy -- he must embody a part of Orange Blossom with which she longs to reconnect, a forgotten piece of her own soul that she sees reflected in him.

posted August 07, 2003 09:22 AM         

ASk yourself, do you like being in pain? Does the Pisces man? Sometimes people do, when they need life lessons. But are you the one to give it to him? Let him learn from another woman and get involved in her life. He will learn a painful lesson that he needs to learn that will help him become a stronger man. Pleasure will just weaken him, so look forward to the future, don't look behind.

Caps can be quiet sometimes, try talking to him about how you feel without going into details. Discuss your emotions, I am happy...sad..confused...

posted August 12, 2003 02:04 AM         

I was just curious about he advice you had given Orange Blossom. You said pleasure will weaken the unaffectionate Pisces she cares about. Why do you think pleasure will weaken him? I truly hate pain and sometimes it is unbearable for me to go through emotional pain I mean there is nothing quite equal to not being able to get away from that much pain but I only feel weaker not stronger when I encounter it.

With each defeat I feel like I am further away from happiness.

posted August 12, 2003 02:50 PM         

Pisces, the one I was with, was weakened by temptation of pleasure. It made him upset and it showed. That upset me. Being a Taurus I pick up on other's emotional pain easily and I feel it too. Since my emotions are strong and deep I do not like always to be around someone who is in pain. His mind and his body were torn in two, his body wanted to say yes, but his mind no. Most men are like that sometimes, some women too.

It was the first time I had seen that on a man's face. I have Pallas sextile Mars which means I can pick up what people mean by their actions and read faces. The body automatically goes where my mind goes, I feel at ease that way. I feel whole. In some cultures men are taught to separate their body needs from what they feel and that tears them apart. I can't accept that because it's wrong for me to feel that way. My emotions and body have to be the same or else I feel destructive.

I thought he was being self destructive in his thoughts and I picked that up from him by his face. Sometimes it's temporary and I make it permanent and that's wrong. But I just can't watch someone torture themselves, sometimes it's just for my benefit but I am not an actress.

I know now, that I love Pisces and water signs as friends but they have the power to disturb my feelings too much and the signals they send are so spread out, that I feel like a bouncing ball.
Upside down and inside out.
I know it was wrong to end my relationship with the Pisces looking back I could have stayed his friend but at the time I felt he was too negative. Now I know how to handle it, but I think Taurus matures slowly in the emotional world.

My water sign friends are great now, but I make sure to get some distance because then I know their moods are with other people and they are making decisions on their own. They need to independent and think and feel on their own. I check in every once in a while but I do not try to understand anymore.

The French say "All understood, all forgiven" but James Joyce said "All understood, nothing forgiven", which I like better. The less I know about the internal moods and conflicts and guilts and values that I do not share the better. I would rather forgive and accept than love or hate.

I guess I am not into deep emotions that I hold on to forever but that's because they turn into values for me. Taurus is a very emotional sign but fragile that way, it's important to stay positive.

Personally I do better in day to day relationships with air signs, or those with water placements other places than the Sun, but I always make sure to get a break in the day from everyone.

The pisces I knew had serious issues about love, and sex, and his role in my life. He was my first real lover and so hated that. I don't know why, he felt he couldn't commit so he would just hang around and feel bad.

Natasha