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Author Topic:   Forced to be a loner
Swerve
Knowflake

Posts: 51
From: London
Registered: Nov 2002

posted July 27, 2003 10:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Swerve     Edit/Delete Message
Could anyone tell me if I have an astrological "black mark" or something in my chart. Seems Venus doesn't like me much anyway. I have a bit of Aquarius in me, but this is just a little too much freedom. Nothing, and I mean nothing works out, and I get the stangest reactions from people. You should see the reactions I get...subtle sometimes, but definite people backing right off. I can't seem to connect with ANYONE!! Bloody thing is I can understand EVERYONE I come across and pray I meet someone who can really " get" me as well as all that mushy feeling stuff happening but the odds look remote at best. I have chatted to some of you before, and I believe Hooked has a very similar chart to mine. I just feel totally blocked in everything I do from career to learning to love life, the latter being the greatest source of pain. This sounds so soppy but I have just about had enough now. I feel totally powerless in life most of the time and live a totally solitary life in private.

Anyone read anything in my chart that says "loser"?

Kinda kidding on that one.....

Cheers,


Swerve

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Swerve
Knowflake

Posts: 51
From: London
Registered: Nov 2002

posted July 27, 2003 10:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Swerve     Edit/Delete Message
and now I'm losing my memory and forgetting to put my data in.....grumble....

22/2/76 1:19am London, England


Cheers again.

Swerve

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Cat
Moderator

Posts: 3307
From: England
Registered: Jan 2002

posted July 27, 2003 11:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Cat     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Swerve
No you don't have an astrological black mark

Here's a link that will give you a lot of info....
http://www.bobmarksastrologer.com/TOClessons.htm

Especially read about the following....

Aspects
Moon conjunct Ascendant

Signs & Houses
Mars in Gemini in 7th house (relationships)
Mercy, Venus both in Aquarius in 3rd house (communications))
Sun in Pisces in 3rd house
Netune in Sagittarius in 1st house
Uranus in Scorpio - 12th house

Plus I notice that you have a interception in your chart.....
Aquarius in your 3rd house
Leo in your 9th house

Here's a link to a string on the astrology forum re interceptions.....
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/001416.html

Hope that helps you gain some insight.
Sue

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Swerve
Knowflake

Posts: 51
From: London
Registered: Nov 2002

posted July 27, 2003 12:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Swerve     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks for all of that Cat!I'm reading up.

Swerve

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morgana
Knowflake

Posts: 876
From:
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posted August 27, 2003 07:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for morgana     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Swerve, long time no see

I was just looking through old topics and there I see your name, what a surprise, I thought you were lost forever

I'll try to gather what little astrological knowledge I have and maybe it'll be of some help to you...

The first thing that I noticed is your afflicted Venus: the opposition from Saturn is dampening your cheerful and free fun-loving and sensual (2nd house) Venus in Aqua (you probably have limited financial/resources as well), in other words, whatever impulses you have to enjoy a carefree love-live are being restricted by Saturn. You probably have some karmic issues to resolve and Saturn is giving you lectures here. I'm afraid you have to be patient and accept and think about what it is that it wants from you; the answer is always within yourself. I see Saturn is also restricting your Jupiter in the 5th house of fun and creativity (and children), meaning that you want to have lots and lots of fun and you are very creative (Jupiter expands), but again, Saturn is in your way. It's a clash of Titans since these planets have exactly opposite energies, so you probably experience within yourself constant battle of these two. Look up what Saturn in the 8th means (also in Cancer) and you'll know what it is in you that "prevents" you from basically having a good time and enjoy life. As you'll be approaching your Saturn return, you'll probably feel the reoccurence, so to speak, of the effect of these aspects, their effect more than before. The planets are telling you something, and maybe if you listen to Saturn more carefully in this period and see exactly what it is telling you, you'll demistify its "influence" (since we all have free will, stars can't make us do anything we don't want them to). Try to observe how these aspects realise themselves in your daily life, try to compare what you know about your chart with how you act and think. Good luck!

Then there's your Uranus squaring your Venus, making you fall in love instantly, or rather too quickly for your own good, probably often and in wrong persons since it's the excitement that you need, but since it's a square, your affections are probably often misplaced. You can also fall out of love very quickly since you probably get bored quickly (or are disillusioned when the excitement ends) and turn elsewhere. Again, look up the meaning of Uranus in the 11th and that's the thing (probably your unusual conceptions about friendship, society, ideals etc.) that's deviating (swerving ) your Venus from expressing itself. True, this aspect is more in tune with your placement of Venus in Aqua (Uranus being the ruler of Aqua), but nevertheless.

Then there's another important aspect that you have, maybe the most important for you since Neptune is your ruler: Neptune is in opposition with Mars, so that would mean that Neptune in the 1st (look up the meaning) is clouding your judgement about relationships with other people (7th house). Mars in the 7th means you need constant excitement in relationships and a sparring partner. I have Mars on the Descendant so I know it's no fun, people often react to you violently and aggressively, attacking you even though you don't mean any harm. And since you have it connected with your gentle and ultra-sensitive Neptune in the 1st (your appearance and outward persona), you soak all this aggression up and probably don't do anything about it, even though you are very emotional about it (Mars + Neptune). Your perception of what a relationship should be (7th house, Mars in the 7th house) is probably unrealistic, foggy or too idealistic (Neptune).
If we then add your Scorp Moon on your asc. to all this, which deepens your feelings and hurt, making you feel everything to the umpteenth degree and also making you appear dark (asc.) and broody, I can understand that people are a bit afraid of you or they feel you're too much trouble. Don't worry, that just makes it easier to eliminate all that can't handle it: only the ones who can see through your "dangerous" exterior and have enough courage to "handle" you, are the ones worth it. And there are really few of them or maybe just one. But these are the ones worth it.
Oh, I just noticed your Moon square Sun - meaning that your perception of the joining of the feminine and the masculine ideal within you is afflicted, deep inside you probably think that these two are irreconcilable, so this adds to your problem with relationships. You need to change your outlook and overcome this inner obstacle. You see, it's all there within you, you just have to learn how to handle it...
Does any of this ring true?

Hope I've helped a bit

morgana

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Blue M
Knowflake

Posts: 166
From: Illinois, USA
Registered: Aug 2002

posted August 27, 2003 09:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Blue M     Edit/Delete Message
Swerve,

I have felt the exact same way for the past 6 years. I can't offer you astrological information but I can send you a white light and

I read what Morgana had written and she gave you alot of good information. Hopefully it will help.

Also Cat gave you some very good astrological links. I hope this helps cheer up you.

I hope this eases you feeling your aloneness.

From a fellow loner,
Blue M

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jwhop
Knowflake

Posts: 1112
From:
Registered: Aug 2001

posted August 27, 2003 11:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for jwhop     Edit/Delete Message
Hello Swerve

Been meaning to respond your request but I've been busy.

Transits are fleeting and generally during any period there will the some which tend to offset others. Sometimes when reading a transit report, you will see conflicting information.

I've looked at your chart and though you may have "some" Aquarius, it's in Neptune and unlikely to be contributing to the problem you are experiencing, especially since this isn't something new.

A more likely candidate is your Virgo Venus.
People with this placement are often hyper critical of others---especially in a romantic relationship. Some will simply withdraw from you and others---fire signs or Scorpio will probably just light you up when they feel you are being critical or overly critical. If you are doing this, you may not even be aware of it because it seems very natural to you to comment on things that you think could and should be corrected in others. This is what my program says about Venus in Virgo.

"Gives help to sick and old people. She is very devoted, does not show emotions. She is prudish and never lets herself go, either through fear of ridicule or through fear of not being loved in return as much as she loves."

"Always suspects the feelings of others. She is therefore sometimes too undemonstrative, so the other, thinking he is not loved, will leave."

"Likes to flirt and provoke. She is perfectly in command of her own feelings, which often lacks passion or force. Her love is never for free but must automatically bring a bonus, be it only an intellectual pleasure"

Don't know if you can relate to any of this or not but you have strong Virgo placements, Sun, Mercury and Venus so, I know you have great analytical abilities. Sometimes we get involved in thinking too much and forget to smile.

jwhop

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sthenri
Knowflake

Posts: 1125
From: New England US
Registered: May 2003

posted August 28, 2003 04:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
Swerve with Scorpio Moon on the ascendant you may have issues with women, the Moon on the ascendant is traditionally interpreted that way. Clinton has this, and a lot of people who deal with the public. But in Scorpio the message is I don't need you, so you may project a message of self protection. You are probably a good listener and can tap into that part of your personality to be a friend to those in need. You may attract emotionally unstable women, sometimes but for the most part, you can be a good friend in need.

Do not worry too much about conventional standards, an issue with Scorpio Moons. Do not judge yourself, forgive and accept yourself the way you are, and learn to accept others too. Once you do that every day, you will project love and understanding instead of an unforgiving nature.

Scorpios unconciously project an unforgiving, judgemental attitude which others pick up and return. Be sure to keep positive thoughts in your head when talking to others, and watch your body language to make sure it's expressive and open and trusting.

Meditate on Trust, and Forgiveness.
You are a lot like a Cancer to other people, so be sure and read the Cancer descriptions too.

Take Care,
Natasha
8th house Cancer Moon;>
"No Rules, Just Tools"

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morgana
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posted August 30, 2003 07:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for morgana     Edit/Delete Message
Very useful info, Natasha, thanks!

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Swerve
Knowflake

Posts: 51
From: London
Registered: Nov 2002

posted September 13, 2003 01:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Swerve     Edit/Delete Message
Hi guys,

I'm so sorry, it must seem very ungrateful of me not to respond, but this is the first time in ages I have had access to the net. I am going to print this thread off and read it and discuss it then. Hope all of you are well.

Special hello to Morgana.

Thanks


Swerve

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morgana
Knowflake

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posted September 22, 2003 07:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for morgana     Edit/Delete Message
Hi, Swerve! I never thought you were ungrateful

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Randall
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From: Columbus, GA USA
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posted September 25, 2003 02:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message

------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark

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Swerve
Knowflake

Posts: 51
From: London
Registered: Nov 2002

posted September 29, 2003 08:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Swerve     Edit/Delete Message
Well, finally got to sit in front of a PC with internet access for more than 30secs. (My company is HOT on these things at the moment!).

OK, first I would like to thank all of you who were so kind to post your words. I realy do appreciate such concern. Hope I can repay the kindness at some point.

So, where do I start with my own response? It seems that there are so many different tasks and tests of a karmic nature and of my character in general going on tha it almost makes sense I haven't been able to draw anyone close to me. And reading a little deeper I wonder if I would want them anymore if I did....

The thing that escapes me for the moment is what Saturn wants from me. Generally, it is accepted by those that know me well that I am a total "free spirit", which I feel is a pretty solid blend of the Aquarian influences with my basic Fishy personality. I know that I NEVER conform to what others would consider normal and sound ways to behave, from basic things like time-keeping and a concept of roles within employment, or even friendship, to my entire outlook upon our species and where we lie within this stange and curious journey called "existance". Perhaps Saturn is expecting me to find a little discipline and a place on this Earth, but I personally feel trapped here and "not of this world" anyway (oo-er!). Morgana, I have felt a LOT of changes since Mars has been in Pisces, and at this point I no longer question myself or the fact that with all the Pisces and Scorpio energy inside me that I really am not a down-to-earth run-of -the-mill normal chap. My perception has heightened to almost superhuman levels of late, and my willpower has finally focused itself and found my purpose. You know what it is? Nothing. Nothing at all. I almost believe that I must sit outside of normal society and follow a completely different path,a spiritual quest if you will. What all of this has to with Saturn I am not sure yet,but the Jupiter and Venus influences certainly seem eager to psuh me in the same way as the Pisces and Scorpio.

In the past I have indeed fallen in love immediately and with the wrong person. I have found that my instincts have grown since childhood and maybe I pick up on temporary feelings or moods and transfer these onto daydreams and look for a reality based on these. Perhaps that is what Saturn is asking...hmmm....to temper my imagination with reality...

I grew up with an INCREDIBLY powerful woamn as my sole influence (kinda like living with Margaret Thatcher!) and maybe this has affected my perception of relationships with the opposite sex, although I personally beleive I am wise enough and strong enough to have looked past this. But, what definitely springs from this is the need to "spar" with any potential girlfriends, for several reasons. need to know they are intelligent or at least perceptive, and I need to know that they are strong enough to deal with the deeper character beneath (the Scorpio). The contradiction comes from the need to be loved and cared for in the old-fashioned man/woman touching and holding way which is so sweet when its real, and the need to pull away from anything that might affect my freedom and the ability to drop everything whenever I need to.

I think I ask too much really. And the one horribly superficial aspect of my nature is that I deeply attracted to beauty. As much as I hate this its true and I am drawn towards dazzling looks. After that, they have a lot to live up to, but it is usually the initial driving force behind any attraction.

When I stop to think about all of this, it really is now onder I'm on my own a lot. If I didn't know my own heart better, this description of my nature would make me wince.


Thanks for reading this mini-novel. And all of your responses were touching in their genuine concern.

Hope you are all well guys, and I should be joining in a few more discussions in the near future Morgana, as we have always had quite a lot in common, especially that Scorpio energy.


Cheers,


Swerve

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stellar1
Knowflake

Posts: 20
From: us
Registered: Aug 2003

posted September 29, 2003 12:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for stellar1     Edit/Delete Message
Swerve,
I feel that I can relate with you. I also have Venus in Virgo and find myself pushing people out unnecessarily or setting myself up for disappointment again and again. Does anyone with this placement or prior experience with Venus in Virgo, know how to handle this challenge? I know it takes lots of practice, but any pointers would be truly welcomed. Thanks.

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minxystar
Knowflake

Posts: 11
From: b, a, uki
Registered: Apr 2003

posted September 30, 2003 08:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for minxystar     Edit/Delete Message
Swerve

I feel like I want to reach out to you on this cos I know how you feel...also a pisces with some wierd aquarian planetary stuff going on. Sometimes it feels like things will never come right

All I can say is that if you'd like a email buddy in the UK then let me know...sometimes it helps to chat and share stuff with someone you can't see (if that makes sense)

Minxystar

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morgana
Knowflake

Posts: 876
From:
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posted October 02, 2003 04:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for morgana     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Swerve, nice to see you again

It seems that I can't post this reply in one piece, so here goes Part 1:

You know, re. what you wrote about Saturn - let me tell you my experience so far: right now it is transiting my natal Sun. So I thought, like you, that maybe it will discipline me or restrict me even more than I already am, make me accept responsibilities and all that crap. But it's funny, I feel reborn. In a good way. This month I started to feel free (exactly the opposite from what Saturn's effect is SUPPOSED to be) to follow my own path, to toss away the responsibilities (imposed on me by others) that have restricted me these past years - if I want to. All in all, I've given myself a choice, I freed my mind in a way to allow myself to do what I want to do from now on, and not what others expect from me. I think this has been Saturn's influence for me. It's not over yet, but so far I'm happy. And I finally started on the path that I dreamed about for years, I decided to live the life not of an ordinary working-cooking-family person (if you know what I mean), but of a creative person who lives day by day, doing what I think is good for me. And I really feel satisfied.
Maybe your purpose in life is indeed nothing, meaning nothing that is tangible in this "real" world. You see, that's how I've felt, I didn't know what to do with my life. But now I think I now: our purpose is to be happy and to find ourselves, and by doing so, our life/perspective changes with us. I don't mean to lecture you or sound "advisory", I'm sure you don't respond well to these kind of things , I'm just expressing my thoughts, what I believe is the truth.
I think you're right about your spiritual quest, I guess your subconscious or your Higher Self, if you will, is leading you in this direction, but your mind is making you unhappy because it is influenced by the surroundings that you live in.

...

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morgana
Knowflake

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posted October 02, 2003 04:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for morgana     Edit/Delete Message
... Part 2:

Maybe Saturn won't have the effect you think it will on you, maybe some other planets are more important for you. I wouldn't be so concerned with Saturn if I were you, when the time comes, you'll know But I'd definitely watch Pluto and Mars since they are the rulers of your Ascendant AND your Moon Sign. Right now Pluto is... let me see... oh wow, you've been through Pluto transiting your ascendant a few years back... It must've transformed your persona somehow, given that it has also transited your Moon, meaning your soul.
Your Scorpio soul will be unhappy until it finds its purpose, an outlet for this enormous energy that you bottle up inside.
Tell me, why exactly do you think that Jupiter and Venus are pushing you in the same direction as Scorpio and Pisces influences in your natal chart?

"The contradiction comes from the need to be loved and cared for in the old-fashioned man/woman touching and holding way which is so sweet when its real, and the need to pull away from anything that might affect my freedom and the ability to drop everything whenever I need to."
Personally, I think this is not a contradiction but your need, and if you look at it as something bad, don't, because it's just your need. I see nothing wrong with it, you need a strong tie with someone and lots of freedom, a more of an Aquarian relationship, right? If you want it, you'll get it, the way you wanted it. It's the universal law. Just be careful how you envision it because you'll get exactly what you wished for. Take it from me, I did.
I can see how you're attracted to dazzling looking women, it must be your Venus in Aquarius since Aquarius pursues only the highest of ideals, so there you have it: your Venus, meaning your perception of beauty, is highly idealistic. Just as maybe my Mars in Aqua means that I need my man to be ideal, and he is - for me, that is

Swerve, thank you for sharing all this, I know it probably wasn't easy for you, and I appreciate it.

See you

Hi, Stellar1, welcome!
Sweve has Venus in Aqua, but my bf has Venus in Virgo, if you're interested. And I don't think he sees it as a challenge and neither do I. Why do you? Venus in Virgo is also very demanding, but in a different way from Venus in Aqua which strives for ideals, an ideal love or ideal woman.

Hi, Minxystar!
Where are your major planets? Moon in Aqua perhaps?

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minxystar
Knowflake

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From: b, a, uki
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posted October 03, 2003 06:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for minxystar     Edit/Delete Message
Mars in Gemini, Venus in Aquarius, Moon in Gemini...

Born 4.40am, 2nd March 1974 in Cheltenham, UK.

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stellar1
Knowflake

Posts: 20
From: us
Registered: Aug 2003

posted October 03, 2003 10:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for stellar1     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks Morgana for your positivity! I'm trying to work with my Venus Virgo energies. Having Moon in Libra, as well as Mars, Pluto, Juno, and Mercury all in Libra ... I am drawn to partnerships naturally, but I find that with my Venus placement, I sometimes can be too critical and demanding of my partners, which works against my urge to pair up with someone. I catch myself pushing away potential partners whenever they let me down or don't quite match up to my ideal of perfection. I was just wondering perhaps my critical Venus had something to do with it. However, you've given me a fresh perspective on the placement. Thanks!

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hooked
Knowflake

Posts: 118
From:
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posted October 03, 2003 12:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for hooked     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Swerve,

I haven't been around for a while, and I just came across your post. I've got a few years until I have to deal with Saturn, but I can certainly relate to all you've said. I have cancer rising, pisces sun, scorp moon, venus and mercury in aqua, mars in libra.

I think as a scorp moon I expect too much from people, and if I don't like what I see I close myself off from them. I feel like a lot of times when I do open up to someone I don't know very well, they think I'm odd and it hurts to feel misunderstood. I know that I'm very sensitive and caring and I think closing myself off from people who are going to hurt me (hurt me by thinking bad things about me, and feeling misunderstood is something that my scorp moon doesn't like) is a way to protect myself. And yes, I can tell right away as well, whether or not the person "gets" me and I usually "get" them no matter what.

This has been an issue for me lately, and after a few scorp moon nights of brooding and torturing myself, I have decided as of last week that this needs to change. I can't go through life closing myself off to people.

I feel "not at home" with the mundane aspects of life - work and school mostly. I do believe with all this powerful watery influence along with some aquarian influence there is going to always be that feeling. It's just another part of life that I feel no one else can touch.

I try and remember the beauty in human life and our connectedness with all things. You know what a good person you are underneath the protective layers, and I hope you will open up more and let other people see what a deeply feeling and unique person you are. I wish you lots of luck, and I hope you come around here more often as I will try to also.

Nina


P.S. Hello Morgana, another moon mate!

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morgana
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posted October 04, 2003 12:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for morgana     Edit/Delete Message
Hi hooked, long time no see!!!
Wise words, btw

Thanks for the info, Minxy. So you're a Pisces with a Gemini soul and an Aquarian outlook on love and beauty. Very elusive, the whole combination Just kidding

Stellar1,
is your Venus afflicted in any way? Because if it is, that may be the thing that's causing you trouble. Or maybe some other placements or aspects? Venus in Virgo is very critical, yes, but if it's in harmonious aspects with other planets, it can be a good thing, although this placement isn't very good for Venus to start with because Venus can't express itself well in Virgo or the 6th house. Oh, and Venus is the ruler of your Sun and Moon sign, of course! So clearly it's more important for you! Where's your Ascendant?


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stellar1
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From: us
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posted October 05, 2003 11:47 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for stellar1     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Morgana!

Thank you so much for taking the time to look into this puzzle with me. I truly appreciate your helpfulness and kindness. Looking at my chart, I didn't find any harsh aspects to Venus. (In fact, I discovered a few kind aspects!) I do have a Virgo Sun, which perhaps accentuates my Venus Virgo tendencies. My ascendant is in Sag, and again that could make me quite independent. I wonder if having Neptune in the first house, makes me more disillusioned easily? (BTW Neptune in Sag happens to square my Sun in Virgo).
As, I'm still not sure what causes me to turn off so quickly, I again thank you for helping me make friends with my Virgo Venus. At least now, I can lighten up on the poor girl and let her shine fully!

Blessings and all kindess to you -

stellar1

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stellar1
Knowflake

Posts: 20
From: us
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posted October 05, 2003 12:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for stellar1     Edit/Delete Message
i also just found that i have saturn square uranus. that explains alot of my sudden break-ups!

back to swerve, you are not alone... i can relate. and i feel that at least we're looking into ourselves and sincerely trying to make a difference in our lives.

best wishes that true transformation occurs and the love we discover within will manifest in our worlds.

s1

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Swerve
Knowflake

Posts: 51
From: London
Registered: Nov 2002

posted October 09, 2003 03:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Swerve     Edit/Delete Message
Hello again guys.

Hooked- great to hear from you. You know, being all water in the Big 3 is something I'm not sure anyone else can really "get". To my mind, the world that others occupy is somewhere I "visit", with great strain on my psyche and temperament until I can settle again. I think this becomes even more intense when the highly-evolved soul of a Pisces is powered by that nigh-uncontrollable force of the Lunar Scorpion behind it. With your Cancer Asc. and my Scorpio one, we have absolutely no release valve. I often get the feeling I am "swimming" in all the energy that is released by living things around me. Do you feel this? I am under the waves all of the time, I am bent and pushed and prodded and when tired and unable to raise a significant defence, invaded and swamped by them. You lose yourself in everything else and for a while you forget your own nature. Its then a hard task to come back to yourself and drift idly under those "waves" again. I bet you feel this too. When you come from such a different reality though your body occupies the same space as others, how can you possibly expect them to ever really "know" you?

Morgana - You can advise, preach or downright command me if you wish, it wouldn't bother me a jot. I already know your heart.

Stellar - I also have Neptune in Sag in the 1st House. I wonder if this affects the way we "receive" the world. A cloud of idealogical illusions masking our view of "reality"? I wonder if you have any more thoughts to share on this.

Minxy Star - I would be honoured to have you as an e-mail buddy. Mine is theprophetuk@yahoo.co.uk

Hope all of you are well. Take care until I can find some more time to chat.

Cheers,


Swerve

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