Lindaland
  Soul Unions
  soul mates?

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   soul mates?
CappyChic
Knowflake

Posts: 63
From: Kent, Ohio, USA
Registered: May 2003

posted August 01, 2003 11:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CappyChic     Edit/Delete Message
Ok, I have a question for everyone because you all believe in soul mates right? Well is it possible to meet your soul mate but be really scared? because I think I know who my soul mate is, but I am really afraid to be with him. It's like he knows me way too well. I can't hide anything from him like he can see my soul or something. I know that sounds gay. But he told me he thinks I'm the "one" and it freaked me out because I think he's the "one". Anyway, I haven't seen him for 2 years and I can't stop thinking about him. I broke off our relationship because he asked me to marry him. I don't know what to do. I do miss him a lot but I am afraid to call him. Every time I go out with other guys I miss him. What's wrong with me? Why can't I forget about him? Any advice I am so confused! I haven't really told anyone this because they don't understand. Oh well. I just don't know what to do! Thanks to anyone who replies.

IP: Logged

CappyChic
Knowflake

Posts: 63
From: Kent, Ohio, USA
Registered: May 2003

posted August 01, 2003 11:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for CappyChic     Edit/Delete Message
Oh yeah and can you know who is a soulmate by looking at charts? my birthday is 1/11/82 and his is 3/18/75 I don't know what to look for in a chart to see about the soul mate thing

IP: Logged

MOONAT
Knowflake

Posts: 179
From: the bottomless depths of my mind
Registered: Jun 2003

posted August 05, 2003 04:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MOONAT     Edit/Delete Message
soz i'm not an experienced....eh...anything really....so i can't do your charts, but i really think you should contact him....otherwise you'll never move on with your life.
don't be scared, and remember "you'll never never know, if you never never go(call?)"

------------------
" I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times,
in life after life, in age after age, forever."
~Rabindranath Tagore~
~sigh~

IP: Logged

Lunargirl
Knowflake

Posts: 1513
From: south of utopia
Registered: Mar 2003

posted August 07, 2003 02:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lunargirl     Edit/Delete Message
Sure it's possible to be scared by that. It's called, "not being ready". It's not a crime, and it happens to soul mates too. Also, intimacy can be frightening, if you're not used to it, or if you've suffered previous bad experiences with someone you were close to who treated you badly and abused your trust. Love involves being very vulnerable to the other person, as in a marriage you get to see all faults, including your own. Love is a mirror, and maybe you just got scared at seeing yourself jumping out and saying "boo!" when he saw the look on your face, recognized it the hurt little girl inside, and told you so.

I agree with MOONAT, you should contact him. Call or email or write a letter, whatever suits the situation. Personally I think letters of some kind are better after a long separation, because it allows the recipient to re-read it, and reflect, and start to catch up to the state of readiness that you've already been getting into. I think it's a considerate thing to do, not cowardly; it allows him time to think and adjust, rather than have you at one end of the line with an "I-love-you!" to his "What the..?" (oops, I'm an Aries, probably you wouldn't blurt stuff out like I do )

But I do think you'd better know what you want when you contact him. Be ready for anything, and have no expectations. After all, he asked you to marry him, and you turned him down. After two years, it's likely he's with someone else (despite the soulmate connection, we all need companionship). If he's receptive to hearing from you, and since it's clear from your post that you want some kind of a second chance at a committed relationship with him, then you also need to be ready to take risks, but also know what you need feel safe. What did you learn from your past mistakes? That you need to communicate more? That you need a slower pace? That he will still freak you out, but now you won't let that scare you away? Maybe you need to live together, or a 6 month "just dates" period, or to keep your bank accounts in your own name, whatever, as long as it makes you feel safe, and is also fair to him.

You miss him. He was important. Is important. So what do you choose, my Cap friend? The fear, the missing of this unique person, or the risk of vulnerability and the scariness of learning to trust? Either way you ought to find out, so you can get on with your life in a positive way.

So that's my viewpoint. I had an episode with my current partner at the beginning of our relationship, where he freaked me out with talk of marriage and babies. I had to tell him that at that point, it was all I could do to handle just having a boyfriend, and if he wanted all that, he'd have to wait a long time for me, and still I couldn't make any guarantees. Now it's year 6 of being together, and year 3 of living together. Marriage? Who knows. Maybe someday. Babies? Well, maybe one. That's still a question mark. But happy? Yes. My slow and cautious ways were needed, by me, anyway, and I have 4 earth planets, so I get that.

You need birthtimes and birthplaces to do charts, so you would need to add those if you want people to try (or you can find some good free charts at Astro.com), but just going by your Sun signs and birthdays as you posted them, it's a good basic Cap/Pisces match -- your Sun signs (or egos, and developing selves) complement each other.

As a Pisces, he's a dreamer and a mystic, no matter what he does in life. It's natural that he could look into your soul, and read your emotions -- that's what Pisces do! Intuition to the max! A Capricorn, when young, is much more focused on pleasure and practicality -- maybe you had other things to learn, or take care of -- but don't worry, when you're older you'll find it easier to go with the flow and trust in the spiritual.

cheers,
Lunargirl

IP: Logged

CappyChic
Knowflake

Posts: 63
From: Kent, Ohio, USA
Registered: May 2003

posted August 07, 2003 04:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for CappyChic     Edit/Delete Message
Lunargirl,
Thanks for your reply. A lot of what you said is so true. I am so afraid of being vulnerable. He sees that I am a hurt little girl inside. Your words described it perfectly. He could see all my weaknesses and insecurities and he still loved me. He once told me that if I ever changed my mind he would be there. It's like I felt like I didn't deserve the love he gave me, like nobody could really love me that much just for me. I couldn't believe that his love was true. How could I deserve such ancient and eternal love? Am I making any sense? But looking back I know now that his love was so real and so deep it's hard to describe. He was so patient with me. He never pressured me into anything. I remember I fought him for so long and finally I gave in and I found happiness I can't describe. When he held me, I didn't want to be anywhere else. I felt like I was protected and loved, like my soul was complete. It was so scary and exciting at the same time. Before that, I hurt him just like I did two years ago. He forgave me. I kept telling him that I don't want to hurt him. He kept forgiving me even when I treated him badly and when I didn't trust him. It was like I suspected him of alteriar motives like just trying to sleep with me. I was pretty naive...only 19. But I have known him since I was 16. And the freaky thing about us is that I prayed for my soulmate to come to me and like seriously not even 2 weeks later, he told me that I am the one. And I didn't want it to be him. But I knew that he was the one. Sorry this is so long. I feel like no matter what happens, he will always belong to me even if he is with someone else. I just feel like I need to do things before we can be together. I wanted to go to college and meet other guys and I did that and now I see how good I had it with him. Other guys can't make me feel the way I felt with him. You know why I am so afraid to call him? I am so scared I will reject him again and I'll never have another chance. I can't trust myself. I feel like he deserves better than what I always do to him. I always run away and reject him before he can reject me. I don't feel like I deserve another chance. Wow I can't believe I just wrote all that. I have written him at least 10 letters but I can't bring myself to mail them. Aaarg. Anyway, you made me realize a lot of things Lunargirl. I don't want this to be the biggest regret of my life. Oh yeah and another reason I broke it off with him is because of my family. They don't really approve of him.(Capricorns and their families it's true) He didn't really do much with his life and he had no ambition at all. That bothered me because I am always trying to better myself and move up in the world. But now I am so lonely and I miss him so much it hurts. I am so confused! Oh well that's my life. So should I just let him be? Or should I write to him? I don't want to screw with his emotions and I really really don't ever want to hurt him again.

IP: Logged

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright © 2004

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a