posted August 12, 2003 01:51 AM         

I have not been on this forum for a few of weeks. I actually had a life for a minute. Not to say I didn't have a life when I was always writing on this forum but I actually had time to see daylight.

I was very happy because I met this guy, a Cancer who seemed very much in love with me. I really cared about me alot. I thought I loved him too. He has a Moon in Taurus, Venus in Gemini and Mars in Libra. He wanted to marry me and we actually named our children. It seemed like some of my hopes and dreams were going to come true. I have been single most of my life even though I have had relationships but none quite normal or lasting.

Then it just ended. He sent me an email that said Goodbye Forever. It is like the fairy tale is over. My birthday is May 4, 1967. I was born in Chicago, IL at 07:38 am. I have had Sue (Cat) tell me about my bad Uranus aspects and when I am getting close to someone Uranaus does not only end things but things eject. But this time I tried very hard to not let my feeling be expressed erratically and not do or say anything that would cause my love to go away but still be myself.

I just want to know was this transit in my chart? Does anyone see a short 2-3 month relationship coming and going this soon? Was this something I had control over or was it just in the stars? I feel like I am cursed! I felt overjoyed for the last 3 months but now I actually feel worst than before I met him. I am truly wondering am I just cursed? I wish I never met him. I am trying to find the purpose for meeting him but I cannot find one except another indication that I may be cursed from another life. I am so nice to people but not overly so, and then they get angry and turn on me at the last minute and I don't know why? I am always starting over. I have been told that my Liluth is next to bad planets and people turn on me. So many of the people who I have helped and loved have turned on me and abandoned me after much kindness from me. I just don't understand.

It is like a teaser. I have been shown what a love relationship could be but now I can't have one. Anyone will information on my chart would be helpful.

Thank you,

posted August 12, 2003 03:39 AM         

there was one thing mainly that got me, how you said that your nice to people but they just turn on you, i can relate, it happens to me too, and i've put it down to one thing..people dont trust me, at all...usually when i meet someone i trust them immediately so i speak freely, but thats not what a majority of people do, so they think i'm "shifty" or "want something", it's really upsetting but what can you do? is this maybe the case with you? (soz again if i'm totally off)

i was just thinking about how you say that your alone, is this because you are out of a relationship?
perhaps you need to be happy to be by yourself first, and in all areas of your life before you are ready to embark on a relationship....

i'm really sorry if i didn't help at all....
i also really hope that everything works out for you

posted August 12, 2003 03:49 AM           

Unfortunately its' easy to pick up a whole load of cynicism and say "bah - its a crock, im never going to try again! bugger you all!!" but *shrugs*...

posted August 12, 2003 06:07 AM         

Sorry to hear about your recent turn of events.

I can offer this-things are very rarely black and white. I can't fathom something changing at the drop of a hat. There must have been something going on with him (I don;t mean transit-wsie). Sounds like something in his life led him to that decision.

posted August 12, 2003 11:00 AM         

I know you probably feel nothing much can help you now that makes you feel all better, but if I may I would like to put in a few thoughts and feelings that might lift you up a little.

Many people are finding and matching up with their soulmates in these times as well as with their twinflames. But this does not mean it is or will be all sweet or long lasting. Readiness seems to be a necessary thing and tests seem to accompany it for this kind of powerful love. For instance (very importantly) it shows us the lesson of unconditional love and where we have work to do. I would suggest reading something about that if you haven't. Maybe you already have. I have a feeling it will make you feel somewhat better, lighter and will lift up your spirits. If not I am sorry but I sure hope you will soon!!!!!
You are never alone dear Blue M and you are very *special*!

posted August 12, 2003 12:34 PM         

Moonat, I genuinely trust people but I do feel people do not trust me or guys think I am too good to be true and reject me immediately when they find out I am not perfect.

N_wEvil, I hope I get over it. With every disappointment I feel farther away from sharing my happiness.

Oxychick, I know there has to be some reason and until I read Sylven's post I could not find one. He seemed to be the most emotionally available guy I have met. He persued me. He called me every morning to tell me he loved me and every time we hung up the telephone he told me he loved me.

Silverbells, I know this will pass but this always happens to me. Usually I don't get this far. I mean when I meet a guy he usually rejects me sooner than this. I was so thrilled to learn what having a normal relationship was.

Sylven, you are a God send. He told me I was his soulmate. He told me he would never leave or hurt me because I was not apart of him but actually I was him and he was me. I read the link you gave me and it calm my soul and uplifted my spirit. Now I realize my ex was not in love with me but infatuated with me. He wanted to get married 3 weeks ago. We were going to go to the justice of the peace but I wanted to wait until New Years Eve because I have always wanted to get married on New Years Eve. I was very patient and confidence and trusting but he wanted every very fast.

I did not get any astrological feedback but the support and advice I was given was worth more than any transit reading.

Thanks again everyone.

posted August 12, 2003 02:40 PM         

If not please know that a man in your life does mean you have a life especially if you don't know him that well yet. Wait a few months, even a year before getting that close again. The Mars in Libra really wants to get close fast. It's hard but people will have to accept that with you, it takes time to build a life together so you are not hurt. Possibly he thought you were his life and then got cold feet because of his own self esteem issues?

We all have a vision of what we want love to be but our personal styles are different.

Please cheer up, Blue M. You have lots of good love to give.

posted August 12, 2003 07:01 PM         

Sometimes I sense I need to post to certain people and I do but on the otherhand I don't trust it that much. Thinking it is just another hunch or feeling.
When I posted at 11:00 (this is a very special number, a master number and very special to me and Beloved) I knew it would be GOOD!

YAAAAH! YOu will be alright.Trust in the universe always makes me feel better!

posted August 13, 2003 01:02 AM         

I'm so happy to see how everyone has been so supportive -- of course! You seem to feel better (I love Sylven's link too!), but if you don't mind I'll offer a little of my astro opinion.

I did glance at your birthdata, and as you know once a few months back I read through your discussions with Cat on the old archived Astrology forum. I notice you have a Venus-Neptune quincunx (150 degrees). So do I. I found this link on its effects in another thread, and if you'll excuse me, I think I'll just paraphrase myself:

quote:

---

The aspect to watch, IMHO, is Venus and Neptune. It can make it hard to see a person for who they are, mistaking romance and glamour for what you really need...[snip] Check out Venus/Neptune aspects here: http://www.astrodatabank.com/AS/ASVenusNeptune.htm

---

Blue M, we all have our astro-problems, but I didn't see anything in particular in your recent transits that might explain the brief relationship, but it might be interesting for you to take the date you two became involved, and run an event chart on it at Astro.com.

There is one thing, though, that I've noticed through doing very many basic charts long ago for friends' romances. In compatability charts, the longer enduring ones have positive outer-planet aspects, and some positive combination of Asc/Sun/Inner planets aspects. The relationships of shorter duration often had amazing intense inner-planet cross-aspects, but not much in the outer planet department. Now I have no idea what this guy's birthdata is, but maybe despite how well you both obviously got along together on the personal level, perhaps there was something missing for you both.

Abandonment issues are tough -- I wrote in another thread about how, since I am adopted, I understand a few things about them, as I was abandoned as a baby! Please don't be so hard on yourself for not seeing that this guy was unstable emotionally -- we do our best yet often we can't see these things ahead. We would have to be God, or a full-time spy to observe some clues. It personally took me years to see when people weren't putting as much into a relationship as I was, or when their exciting, impetuous quality turned out to be an emotional instability.

As for a teaser? Well... you deserve someone who is mature and ready for you. You were 1000% right to not rush into marriage immediately. Maybe he was in such a rush because of his feelings of insecurity, disguised as ardor. Maybe he wasn't even in touch with them until they all blew up.

Anyhow, a big hug to you, with

posted August 13, 2003 01:37 AM         

I looked at your chart and noticed Chiron in exact square to your ASC, no wonder you feel and sound so wounded. Natal Saturn also squares your ASC/DC axis so you do will undergo repetative breaks in your relationships, taking all the guilt on your shoulders.
Your Progressed chart shows an exact square from your progressed Moon to natal Saturn, some 2 weeks ago.....this progression imply tension in your close personal relationships as Saturn is the ruler of your "marriage" 7th house. The break up was almost inevitable. Directed Uranus in exact square to your natal Sun suggest a sudden break up. Has he told you what the reason of this break up was? What did he tell in his e-mail, how could he leave all of sudden, there should be some proper reason, I hope.

anyhow, your natal chart shows that the meeting of your future partner/husband will be fated. You undergo massive changes now but already making your way towrads him in a pre-destined path. Dont worry, calm down, have some time for refelction and do not try to hard...you may meet him sooner then you think, somewhere around July next year.... you are a good soul, believe in yourself

wish you luck and peace of mind, Blew Moon

posted August 14, 2003 06:36 PM         

Pluto’s transit through your 7th house will bring a new or renewed relationship that will transform your life. If you are in a close relationship already, events will force you to redefine that relationship. Tensions that may have been building up over time will erupt during this transit. If you are not in a close relationship, this is not the time to get into one with the intention to make it a life long commitment. Any relationship now will be intense and provide short term enjoyment and fulfillment, but don’t focus on long term goals. This is not to say that relationships started now won’t result in long term relationships, they may, but don’t make that the underlying criteria. Most tensions encountered during this transit are not because of the other individuals involved, but are only mirrors of your own inner psychic needs and impulses. In effect, the tensions involved reflect your inner struggles.

Transiting Pluto Square your natal Pluto - this aspect signifies a time of internal regeneration in your life. If you are clinging to the past, it will root out those things from the past that no longer serve our growth, many of which may be in your unconscious mind and still affecting your lives. Any changes now that occur in your life do so for good reason. It is a waste of time to look at others to blame, when the changes are being driven internally by our own mind. Pluto doesn’t swing a gentle stick, so some of these changes may create fear in us when they occur, but if you stay loose, and flexible in your responses to your life at this time, you can ride out the storm. Keep in mind that what is going on now is necessary if you are to continue to grow spiritually and as a person.

Transit Pluto Square your natal Moon - this aspect produces very intense experiences in your emotional and personal life, and it will test your innermost psychological resources. You have to dig deep to handle this period, but you have what it takes, if you face it head on. On the psychological level, two manifestations may occur; past unconscious patterns of behavior may arise but will prove unable to cope with your life at this time, or past memories which have laid hidden in your unconscious will suddenly become conscious again. You may find yourself driven by compulsions and irrational drives, and behaving in a way that is not consistent with your life today. It is necessary to dig out the root of these behaviors, if you can, and deal with the problems behind them. Try to keep a clear idea in your mind of who you are now, and don’t become overcome by the past. As the kids say nowadays, "get over it". In your personal life, this aspect can bring about power struggles with others. Unfortunately, you won’t be fighting fair right now, you’ll be more inclined to use manipulation tactics, such as guilt, duty, ect… to achieve your ends.

This aspect can also draw a person into your life who you know is unhealthy for you, but whom you can not pull away from. You need to understand that it isn’t that person, but his or her behaviors that reflect parts of your hidden self that you are so intrigued with.

This is a time of emotional conflict with those closest to you. Use this time to clean out your closet of hidden problems that you have carried with you from your past. Realize that it is you not others that is causing this, and that they are only responding to your behavior.

Hope that this helps to some degree to understand the planetary energies affecting you right now.

posted August 15, 2003 09:24 AM         

You said my Natal Saturn squares my ASC/DC axis and this will cause repetative breaks in my relationships. Do I have any control over this or will this just continuing to happen my entire life? If so I just don't think I can bear a life like I have had in the past. I think I take on all the guilt because I never want to break up but men just leave me anyway or make me go away.

Bissie I do want to thank you for taking the time to help me. Thanks for the good news about me eventually meeting a husband. That truly makes me

posted August 15, 2003 11:34 AM         

Imagine love is like an elevator going up and down, you can get off on any floor and its the only way to live with a man in my opinion. You may never get to the top or the bottom but once you stop thinking about it you will enjoy yourself for a little while. The little while is all we have, it's all anyone has, we can't think of it as bittersweet while we are enjoying ourselves, save the self criticisms when you are back on the elevator again. The ideal, the top or the bottom is an impractical dream.

We all feel that way, no one has perfect relationships, all of us drive men away, all of us have men leave us, it doesn't mean we need to feel we are the only ones in this position, we can enjoy the place we are in before moving on. The reflection you are doing is worthwhile, it's not a bitter place, you do not realize it but you are not unhappy.

You are contemplating your past and future. It's only unhappy because it's not right now. Your perspective is skewed. Trust that you are happy and that you will be happy tomorrow, just take it one day at a time.

Being a Taurus you will learn to love yourself slowly, and you are more determined than any of the signs to fall in love and make it work or else.

You have to be like Micky Mouse, Say Try Try Again, Don't give up and you have to be happy while saying it. Say it to others who need cheering up, that is the best say to be happy.

They will love you, people do, enjoy the love you have in the world right now, take it one day at a time and one day your true love will be revealed to you slowly, and surely, but it takes time.

Taurus is one of the signs like Capricorn that starts at slow and sure, everything takes longer than it does with other signs but it's more sure and long lasting when you get there.

Your battle is taking it easy in the meantime.
It's not your nature to rush love, it always comes to you. Be determined to love yourself and try again to be optimistic, sometimes it takes all your determination just to do that.
Taurus is very happy cheering up others, don't worry if that drives people away or not, they need it, that is your true gift.

posted August 15, 2003 12:27 PM         

Ah, what the heck. It's Friday. If you lived nearby me, I'd invite you out to have drinks with me at this wine bar on Hayes Street in San Francisco. Drown all your sorrows temporarily with fermented fruit juice, eat French cheese, and sing merry songs

But since you probably don't, I invite you to have a few drinks with your friends and eat whatever cheese is available where you are.

Have a great weekend!

posted August 15, 2003 12:59 PM         

Blue Moon, my dear, I am pretty sure by July next year you will be in a good established relationship with a strong man. Your progressed and directed chart say so. When it happens - please, do let me know.

Saturn in square to ASC/DC is not that all bad either. It makes you stronger, more responsible and mature. No, it doesnt mean all your relationships will be broken.

posted August 15, 2003 01:08 PM         

Haven't seen you post for some time. I remember an inquiry you had a while back, as I am curious how things have worked out.

posted August 18, 2003 12:39 PM         

thanks for the update

gosh, you either get dreams or insomnia, eh? neptune gives you no rest, especially with getting you thinking you're half cheese

cheers to bubbly dreams