posted October 21, 2003 07:28 PM         

Men aren't the only sex that do this. Woman say that they love men and cheat and leave them also. Love is not about jealousy. Linda appeared to be very jealous and angry..she was not so perfect as others thought...but we Love her because she was herself and we learned how wonderful she was when she was positive and how poetic she could get when she had a negative spark. Everybody has a negative side to the personality..we were not there in Linda's life to know exactly what happened. She may not have been the easiest person to get along with.
Maybe Linda imagined that her husband left her for another young lady, in denial that it was for some other reason that could damage her ego/pride.

It seemed that Linda had a very stubborn, dominating personality..I'm not sure what happened. All I know is that it's not fair to accuse men of all the bad things when woman do an equal share of the hurting things. I know because I am only human.

posted October 22, 2003 11:29 AM         

That was a great response and you are totally right.

Bewitched,

Men and women leave. Sometimes there are dynamics in a relationship that cannot be solved and the solution is to move on. As far as Legends of the Fall, that was a movie and not indicative of real life, but let's look at the emotions behind it.

Samuel died and Tristan felt guilty. He fell for Samuels bride to be at a moment where they were both greiving. Maybe it was to heal some deep seeded hurt. The guilt of loving his dead brothers ex, along with pain of losing someone pushed him to leave, to find himself. When he came back, he came back looking, but she was already with another - which he had already told her to do. That is when he fell for Isabel. Not because she was younger, but because they were destined to be together, but only for a short while.

Why Linda's husband left for a younger scorpio is something only he can answer, and I do believe that Linda is an Aries not a Scorp.

We have all had relationships that didn't work out and in retrospect we see it was for a reason. There is always pain, but that is the learning process that is necessary to face something deep inside of us.

Is everything okay with you or are you having some problems in a relationship? We are always here to listen and help.

Take care,

posted October 22, 2003 12:55 PM         

I just seen your reply after I sent my letter. Something eerie always happens when I write to Lindaland. It's the second time (among other things happening) I write a letter; I copy and paste it, put it in yahoo mail to do a spell check. Now I see what I'm copying and pasting and I see the letter copied on yahoo, than when I do the spell check the previous letter appears instead of the one I wrote last. The whole yahoo suddenly is the one previously. So I go back to my letter and right before my eyes the threat changes to the one I had done earlier. So I check my copied letter and try to paste it again and guess what it's the one previously. All my data is erased, gone, can't find it if I go back. So I'm writing my response again. I appreciate your compassion and I like hearing your perspective on the movie. But in the movie if you look closely there were many instances Tristan devalued her, for example when he gave her the bracelet as a token of his affections when really he just couldn't sell it. Or how he was talking to Samuel on the bench about her when they were playing tennis. Also when they were at her grave site he didn't care she had died. It maybe just a movie but they do teach us about life and how to be aware. It's true when Tristan came back she was married but he wasn't very heart broken, and he moved on right away. While she felt true love she was shocked by the fact that he took it so lightly, she would have done anything for him. And he did do anything for Isabelle as the movie shows. The feeling I got from the movie is that the story implied that this is a story of true love but why did he act like that and hurt her, that's the mystery of men that we women can't grasp!!

posted October 22, 2003 02:00 PM         

Maybe it is also because I am a Saggie, so I look at relationships in a totally different light (Funny, Brad Pitt is also a fellow Sag).

I think it is what we take from the movie. The first time I saw it my heart just floated. I was dating a Pisces guy at the time, that also lived on a ranch and looked very much like Tristan, but with shorter hair. LOL...

I never thought that he went out of his way to hurt her. In fact, I thought she was more interested in him from the beginning and was almost glad that Samuel died. He, was totally broken up, but remember he always had the tortured soul of the wanderer.

True love is not all flowers and song. It is hard, it hurts, it breaks us, heals us and teaches us so many lessons. Soulmates do not necessarily mean that they are our perfect companions, but they there is a lesson to be learned.

posted October 22, 2003 03:40 PM         

Welcome to the website. I like your screen name. I don't have any answers to your questions. One of life's many mysteries

posted October 22, 2003 09:39 PM         

Thanks Aphrodite and I like yours (the Goddess of beauty I believe)

Pidaua your blessed you have never been heartbroken. I have and actually I'm glad to talk to you because he was a sagittarius also.

Actually if anyone can help me.
His sun was in sagittarius, his venus was in scorpio, his moon was in scorpio, and his rising was in scorpio, ouch! His birthday was (december 4, 1980).
Now I am a capricorn, venus in capricorn, moon in taurus, and ascendant in leo. (january 13, 1962). I know big age difference
I did some charts and love tests and they all said fatal attraction. Fatal is an understatement. Check out the numbers too.

There's something I think I learned today. All the responses I got were warm and loving, and I can see this is how you related in your relationships. You kept an open heart. You didn't close your heart and turn your back or react in anger. But gave of love freely and unconditionally. You were able to see more deeply and see the truth. It is our responsibilty to hold on to love and keep working at it and love the other person, even if they hurt us. I use to believed that if the man didn't run after me than he didn't love me, especially if he hurt me. I would test his love. I should have believed in our love and not been insecure.

posted October 23, 2003 10:44 AM         

Oh please don't think I haven't had my heartbroken. I realize I somestimes make light of my past relationships, but it's not true at all.

In every case there had to be a decision made and it broke my heart each time I had to break the relationship off (well, not every time, some dudes just rubbed me wrong).

I also have not been in many relationships, but dated at least a few every year. My last few relationships have been intense, one being a man I almost married, the second being a man I did marry and the third is in the present.

I am big on being true to oneself and that there are times when we come into each others life to teach a lesson and to learn a lesson. When the lesson is done, it's time to move on. So many people "TRY" as hard as possible to make a relationship that is dead come alive. They will use bribery, guilt, manipulation, subterfuge and other means to try to keep it going.Both parties do this because of a fear of being alone.

When my ex-husband and I broke up, I was devastated, but I knew if I wanted a family and the house in the country (which is where I feel more at home) I would never have it with him. I did a lot of soul searching, cried my eyes out and it still broke my heart, but it HAD to be done. He and I are much happier that we would have been together, and we are still friends.

The guy I almost married was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, for both of us. Sometimes a person gets a sense of what is good or bad in the long run and you must go with that sense.

Saggie men are difficult to understand, especially when coupled with that Scorpio moon. My younger brother has that Sun / Moon combination. He is outgoing and happy most of the time, like me, but he has this undercurrent of sadness that makes him hold onto hurts.

On the face of things, it seems that you're Sag was instantly attracted to your rising and vice versa. You may have found him to be smoldering, intriguing, until the mask fell and he was more of a flighty party guy that was also prone to spells of depression (Saggies are famous for that as well, but it is enchanced with the Scorp moon). He found you to be enchanting, sparkling and most likely beautiful, but then came your real sign. Cappies are still all of the above, but also more responsible, grounded and not as emotional as the Fire / Water combo.

Having opposing moons isn't too much of a problem at all, they complement each other and I think it helps more than having squaring aspects combined with conjuncting moons. I see many break ups between moon conjunctions and opposing suns or squaring suns.

I don't know that I would call the relationship a "fatal attatraction" type, but I do see alot of major squaring. Your Sun, Venus and Mars squares his Pluto (but I have the same thing with my Leo guy). The thing is, the age difference is more concerning than the squaring alone. If you combine the difference in age with those aspects, the fact that you chose a male sag (not the most stable at a young age) I would see you setting youself up for a major unheaval.

I always advise that fire signs wait before jumping into relationships because we always think "Idealistically". Then we realize the there are flaw in ourselves and the other.

The other major point I want to stress is that MEN and WOMEN feel love equally. Please do not pigeon hole the males species into a catagory of "they love briefly while we love for ever". That is so not true and I have experienced men that still love a woman more than life, but the woman has moved on.

posted October 23, 2003 01:28 PM         

Bad Sag!!! LOL Sorry:

Anyway, yes you are right, people should work on love and love does mean accepting the hurt.

posted October 23, 2003 05:02 PM         

I just had to send the last message before I went on to read any further posts.

After sending my last message I than read yours which follows perfectly with what I said and I agree whole heartedly with you.

What you said about our relationship is very accurate, only I was more the party type and he wanted security (marriage)which was hard for my aquarius descendant. Your right as a fire sign he was idealistic and only later did he realize the flaws. Our age was very difficult for me and made me doubly insecure. I was attracted to his scorpio darkside, his passion to reach deep inside me and hook onto me and save me from my negative gloomy capricorn. I sensed he could but I guess the sag wasn't as deep as I needed him to be (just like the movie with Robin Williams- What dreams may come), but I never got that.

To me it was fatal attraction.
As you see we complimented each other in every way like a puzzle (I believe he is my twin flame) and I hurt so much because we were suppose to ascend together.

You said that MEN and WOMEN love equally I guess your right it's just I haven't seen or experienced that much so I don't really believe.

How did I meet my sag? I met my beautiful (Arab from Tunisia sag )at a club and it was love at first sight.
_____________________________

I think that's the great secret being yourself and probably why your relationships were pretty successful. Sagittarius people are very strong in character.

posted October 24, 2003 11:48 AM         

My Moon is in Aries and it's in the 7th house. T-cross in with moon opposing my Libra-Uranus in the first house while both square my Capricorn Mercury in my 4th house.

I would agonize over these kinds of decision, because on one hand I could see myself wanting to "be" in a relationship, but on the other hand I knew it would not allow us to grow.

When I broke up with the guy after college, I loved him deeply. He and I were on seperate roads though, with him wanting to settle down, live in a ranch and have children. I wanted to live my life, use my degree (which spending 4 years in intense bio / chem classes made it impossible for me to want to let it go to waste). I also wanted to see the world, experience life and wasn't ready for children. I knew there would be no other way. So I could either selfish make him live my life and resent me (like a fish out of water) or I could do the same and resent him. So, I chose to break it off. I am finally over that hurt, because I talked to him recently and he is loving life. He and his wife live in a small community, have a ranch / farm and just had their first child.

Now, I am ready for the family, horses, country life and the ex husband I had, although 16 years older than me, did not want that. He wanted to be the DC power couple with a house on the water, big galas...etc. So, I found myself in that same position. Luckily, my current dude is the same way.

There have also been other guys, that would just totally fall fast, want to "have" me in their life and I would almost be screaming "Stop, because you will not like the person that I am". So many times I find that men think my outgoing personality is just a way of charming and attracting them. But, it is really who I am. My ex even said that. He said he fell hard for my outgoing nature, optimism and love of life. He wanted to have that himself, but when we got married, he realized it was the way I was and that scared him. Maybe my rising sign falls faster than others (when I had it recitified is showed I had a leo rising, but I am not sure.)

You are blessed with an earthy nature that allows you to be very practical yet sensual. You also have the staying power that those of us with the fire trine lack. I have found that scorpio moons are very difficult to know as they are so secretive with their emotions. I have a Gemini friend with a Scorpio moon. He is finally getting more comfortable around me, but I can see the hurt inside of him.

Oh yeah, that's another thing. Most of my friends are men. That may be while I am bit more empathetic to the masculine emotions, but my sign is also masculine.

Here is another secret about us Saggies. Yes we move on....we are ALWAYS moving, but we don't forget. We still carry that hurt inside of us, but the more we move, the more we can try to escape. BUT, it gets us..and when it does, we are down for the count...then we get up and move again. LOL

posted October 24, 2003 08:01 PM         

You're a Sagittarius with a moon in Aries and possible Leo rising that's alot of energy. The rest I didn't quite understand.

I always wondered why men liked positive women so much. It really does intrigue them. It must be the high energy they sense. What I noticed is that maybe you were able to let go of these relationships because it's easy for you to meet new people and you had faith someone else would come along.

So now you live on a ranch with a nice family. What more can anyone ask for. Do you feel they were your soulmates?

What do you mean by the staying power? is it?

I keep wondering between-
- God has a plan and there's no freewill we just have to listen to ourselves which will keep us on the right path
- and if I wish for what I want hard enough miracles can happen. Is it all about Miracles?

Yes scorpio moons are difficult to figure out. You see I can't see the hurt inside, he masks his emotions so well. I can't imagine him down, especially because he lives with some friends, everybody loves him, and he has alot of respect and power. He says he's in love with me but his actions show otherwise. It seems to me that he killed that part of himself and has become cold and uncaring and maybe wants to hurt me. Your secret tip really does ease my pain thanks.

I feel that when you mentioned moving on yesterday I got the impression that maybe you seen something in my chart that indicated that it was over for good. Is there no hope? If so will there be another love for me (I can never love again) will it be just a plain love. I have no passion left in me. Do you see my past relationships and if so can you tell if they loved me and why they didn't work out.

I'm starting a new life now (after my ascension by myself)I have no hope left, no desire for life, what do you see for my future? Also there's always been a wall keeping me away from love and people is there an answer for that.

you're an

posted October 25, 2003 01:32 PM         

No, I do not live on the ranch yet with a family. I am in a relationship with a Leo, but he lives across the US in Idaho and I am still in Maryland. Soon I will be out there, but not soon enough. LOL....but I have faith.

I do think men are attracted to positive and / or mysterious women. The problem is that they think it is a way to charm them and that once they have you, the outgoing nature will end. With me, that doesn't happen and I feel that I end up disappointing them. In fact, that is what usually leads to the break up. I am 33, almost 34 and have finally met a guy that loves me for me AND he is well aware of how I am regarding my nature. It took a while, but he also has the same freedom quest inside (he has an Aqua moon, Venus in Gemini Mars in Sag - He is a sun Leo).

I still get sad and AFRAID...I am afraid of getting close, I am afraid of it not working or being alone, but then I want to be alone...LOL...such a mix-up for us Saggies. BUT, I am learning and sometimes that is what it take. Someone who can be patient with us and also use a firm hand when we need it.

I know what you are going through. Your heart is broken, but that doesn't mean it won't mend. Let yourself grieve if you feel it is over, but if you think there is a chance - you need to talk to him. Saggies LOVE to talk and the more we can converse about things the easier it is for us to understand them. If he says he loves you, then he does. A Sag doesn't want to lie and that Scorp moon will be fiercely loyal.

Maybe what you need to do is have a talk that is more easy going at first. Have him over for dinner...something casual ( I prefer to talk while I am picking crabs or using my hands because it takes the seriousness out of the tone). See, we have to warm up to these things, not get hit with that serious "WE NEED TO TALK TONE". LOL...that makes us Saggies FREAK OUT....so, maybe pizza and beer to start the conversation.

Say to him "Hey, I really dig you and I want to know you better...but sometimes I feel totally disconnected from you, do you ever get like that"...let him think about it, he'll talk...

Now, if you don't want it to go on, then you must decide to mourn the loss and move on. For me, I do believe in God and I believe that God gives us freewill. I believe there is a plan and inside I tell myself "Well, if this is not the man for me, my heart will break, but the one I meet next will be even more designed for me".

I am not that great at casting charts or seeing when someone will meet another. I am more the person that can see difficulties and strengths and get a feel for the situation. You may want to post a new topic asking "I need advice as to when the best time to meet someone is" or "Just post, please help with finding true love".

The T-square I was talking about is an aspect between my moon (emotions), mercury (communications) and Uranus (freedom). So, I find myself wanting the emotions, but then I want to be free...but I am learning to handle that aspect.

See, that is what astrology is about. We learn so much about ourselves, but also how to learn about the stresses. It is those aspects that teach us the most valuable lessons.

I am here to help and I truly love to do it. When I first came here there were so many people (and still are) that came to my aid. Someday, you will come to someones aid as well. I am glad you decided to post here and remember you always have friends.

posted October 25, 2003 03:34 PM         

Your advice touched me, everything you said was exactly what I needed to hear. I'm glad for you, you seem so happy.

Your Leo looks like a wonderful person who has the qualities you need and I'm sure he feels frightened also, be close and love alot-heal all.

Saggies love to talk how right you are and at one point that was my mistake, I new I could have hooked him in that way-you learn to late-for me at least.

When you said-
"Well, if this is not the man for me, my heart will break, but the one I meet next will be even more designed for me".

I think though there comes a time when God puts two people together as man and wife and when this happens they become one, and if he leaves her she can't be with another and will suffer till death.

I loved astrology since I was young but never took courses and I know that was my path- and as you see I needed it to protect me, it wasn't a coincidence. It seems that astrology was your saving grace in helping you with your relationships.

Thanks for being there for me

posted October 28, 2003 04:17 PM         

Sorry it has taken me so long to write back to you. I am glad that I am here to help you through this time and any time you need to talk.

I was brought up deeply religious in the Lutheran church, but also had family members that are more spiritual that religious ( which is what I am) and other that are more into what others would call "pagan".

When it comes to relationships I believe that God introduces many people into your life. When it comes to marriage, I do believe that it is forever, but sometimes forever to one is not that long to another. Maybe that person was my soulmate for a short time, but they lost their love for me and vice versa. I think what we see happen, so many times, is that people try to make things work that should never be in the first place.

Often times we see the "red flags" but against our better judgement, we push to form a bond or marriage with that person. We try to ignore the problems and only want to see the "good times". So, then you have to ask yourself, did God put us together forever, or did God introduce us for another purpose but WE pushed to form the bond?

I believe that yes, God does put two people together in "forever" type of relationships, BUT when the man leaves the woman or vice versa I do not believe that a caring God would make the woman (or man) live in pain and suffering until she dies. That is the woman's / man's choice. Now, when my grandmother lost her second husband because of a heart attack, she never remarried, but she was still happy. She said no one would ever replace the man he was so why bother. Instead, she loved everyone...all of her family and she did things for so many people because of her nature / love.

I think we try so hard to punish ourselves for things that don't work out so that we can push ourselves further away from the next relationship. Why would you think a woman that was left could never love again?

My Aries grandmother lost my Scorpio grandfather over 20 years ago. She never remarried, not because she loved him so much,but because she was finally FREE. She hated him. LOL..after 48 years of marriage she was glad to be done with him. I know it sounds sad,but she never wanted to marry him in the first place.

Then there is my Cancer mom who my Capricorn father cheated on and left for another woman. She was devastated, she loved him deeply. But she also moved on and married another a few years ago. It didn't work out, but she was still able to move on, that is the important part.

posted October 31, 2003 10:55 PM         

Yes thanks for being here it means everything to me.

It's my first time looking at the posts since our last conversation. It's Halloween today "Happy Halloween!" I hope your enjoying yourself.

That's funny what you said about your Aries grandmother, it's also sad she missed out on so much.

I agree there is a time (or life) of a relationship. And I think the pain comes in when one person doesn't give the love to the other person which was needed. In other words it's not how long but, when they are together, to love and care for each other. So that if the time comes when they have to part, they will be able to because they have received the love, gifts the person had to offer and the qualities needed from each other.

As for me I'm leaving the situation up to God to send me the right person I need. I'll go make my list.. LOL