posted December 02, 2003 06:18 PM         

Can anyone help me out? My dear Sag man found me 4 months ago, colouring the sky pink with his beautiful dream about our life together and scared the sh!t out of me. Even though I have longed for a partner in life and are lovesick as always, I where scared cause it felt so real, so “this is it!” One week into our affair he suddenly left me hanging in the air saying “I want to be alone” I`m an Aquarius with Asc/Cap and Moon/Leo and loves the freedom but anyhow different than him I guess form my experiment with dating and having a love affair for 4 months. Any how he has a sad story form his childhood. His mom was always sick and never there and left him at the age of 10 and died some years ago. His relations from the past are not good towards his father and sister either. He is unfamiliar with hugging, touching and speaking the language of love. Exept form lovemaking, when the lovely animal is out. But I am still with him cause I know that behind this cold wall he likes me and appreciates me as a friend and lover. His chart through astro.com withought birttime showed: Sun/Sag, Moon/Sag and Asc/Virgo

-My question is should I just find patience and go along with what we have?
-Would he still hang out 3-4 days a week if he knew that this was not it? Wasting my time?
-Will he ever be able to trust my love for him since he’s a Sag with a lack of love form his mom and family?
-Will he ever be able to touch his loved once and speak the language of love?

Me: 15 February 1976, Stavanger, Norway, time: 07.23
Him: 30 November 1970, Stavanger, Norway, time: ?

Endlessly thankful for any help!

Li

posted December 03, 2003 12:49 PM         

Welcome to the site. I am a female Sag (Aries Moon, Virgo Asc) and I kind of know what you may be experiencing.

First off, we Saggies are not known for our public displays of affection or being affectionate at all really. I mean, we do hug a bit, but when someone wants to just hug and kiss us, we see it as being smothered.

We also tend to run hot (animal side)in the beginning, then our human side butts in to tell us to sit back and analyze the situation. We start to question everything and we may see any comittment as a sign of preventing our freedom.

Now for your questions

1. No, do not just go along with things. Sag's are about honesty. Just ask him one evening, 'Hey, I am just wondering what's up with us. We spend a lot of time together and I am very fond of you. Do you see me as a close friend / relationship or just friends". Keep in mind that us Saggies are pretty big on friendship, just like Aquarians. We do not see how a relationship can survive if two people do not have a strong friendship.

2) We love to hang out with our friends. If he is being intimate with you, then you really need to find out what is up. If he is just "hanging out" no kissing, no sex, then he might just want a friendship thing. If it is a friendship with "privilages" you need to find out.

3) Don't worry about the lack of love part from his mom. The guy has a Saggie moon, so there must have been some positive female influence. If there is a problem or you sense he hates women, then again, ask him to talk about it. Saggies love to talk.

4) I really do not understand what you are asking. If you are asking "Will he be a mush pot that fawns all over me" Um, probably not. We just don't operate like that, especially us Saggies with fire moons. We are passionate yes, behind closed doors of if we are a bit tipsy. But if he truly has a Virgo rising, like me, he may put a cap on that due to fear of looking disgraceful or crude.

I know many Aqua's that are very much into PDA. For some reason they have no problem with the public / private boundry. But to most of us Saggies, it is like marking us as your territory and we do also worry about how it makes other people feel.

posted December 04, 2003 06:20 AM         

I guess I just have to know that he`s fond of me. Like when he blows my face instead of saying "your nice/I like you"

What did you mean by PDA? Im not much into publicly showing our love either but I am spontaneous, and sometimes I just "jump" towards him like we do at home. Then his whole body and face loocks scared.

Its good to know that this is just the way he is, that it is his nature. Otherwise the wole thing would make me very unsure about myself.

Since we`ve been having a sexual love affair for 4 months I sometimes wonder if he just keep going cause the sex part between us is good. I hope he keeps us because he sees a potential future for us. If not I feel like wastin my time. And I`we been talking about what we are and our position towards eachother every 7-10 days. Yes, your right he likes to talk about it but he can not say more than " you know me, I am single in my head and I want to be alone" then I have a little laugh inside of me thinking "but you already have a girl which you spend 3-4 days and nights with a week"

Well, I dont know really but thanks alot for the help!

Li

posted December 04, 2003 02:59 PM         

It worries me that you and the Sag are in a sexual relationship yet he tells that in his mind he is single and he wants to be alone. That tells me that you might be a "fun" friend for now, or what we call here in the states a "Friend with privilages".

I would really advise you to ask him what he means. Does that mean you are allowed to date others as well? Ask him how he would react if you did go out with another or if it means you have an open relationship.

I would really hate to see you get heart because your idea of "Friend" and his idea were two different things.

posted December 04, 2003 07:02 PM         

Thanks again for advises ! We went through the rules of our "lover" relationship some months ago. Agreed on honesty, openness and to stay faithful. But keeping the freedom both of us needed. Not having to call every day, explain everything nor act as a couple in public. Kind of perfect for our busy schedules and astro nature. But ever since a Pices showed me how to love in the endless moment of now, I easily get affectionate when I respect and adore someone. And Sags tend to be veeeeeeeeeeery adorable. The issue was in the end that my Sag, independent of all that has to do with his sag nature where not ready to receive nor to give love. That was why he said he wanted to stay alone. I explained him the thing you mentioned about the animal/horse part of him in the beginning, turning into the analytical human in him when the beautiful dream smashes and reality kicks in. He totally agreed. Yes, he loves when I talk about it even though he tries to jump away or build a fence sometimes. Then likes when I bring us back on track again.

An advice for other Sag lovers...push on they need it, they want you to..they may say no, but means yes...in a diplomatic and friendly way, step by step and no pushing. He wants the dream more than he seems to. But kind of have to see the reality of it. He have to see every aspect of that it is possible to stay in a close relation, where his freedom is as wide as the world and his home a safe base. He is to honest and good hearted that he can not fake a love life. Respect to that.

I know that with a little more patient we could reach the balance. The communication between the Sag and Aqua nature where good, honest, easy and friendly. But between me and this Sag there where other issues witch relates to both of our pasts. Maybe we where soul mates or mr. and miss. Right, but we where not ready for it to happen now. You can cross roads and walk by your soul mate but if your not ready you can not truly adapt in it. Its sad, but you cant force love to take roots when there is ghosts interfering the state of being. In our case both of us have to learn how to truly love our selves first. Cause now this relation ended up with him being unable to give and me giving too much of myself. Totally imbalanced.

I just came home from him now after ending our love relation and in a painless Aquarian way agreed on a friendship with no hard feelings. I said most of the above mentioned and that if he ever wondered about how I read his state of being and his Sag nature he can always ask me as a friend. He thanked yes to astro readings about the Sagittarian male and we did some easy breathing exercises. Talked about yoga and meditation to start a process of releasing the ghosts.

He really wants to love and settle as two independent plants growing beside of each other, using his own words. He thought I was his savoir when we first met, but ended up in the same pattern of building his big wall behind “I will stay alone for the rest of my life” Today he understood that he can be able to live and love together with a woman. And that miss Right will not appear if he is not made ready to see her and that the same is for me as well.

Thank you again, Pidaua! Entering Lindaland some days ago and reading your advices on Sags have been of great help and I send you a big astral hug for that...either you want to be hugged or not Sags are amazing creatures and my best girlfriend sleeping in my bedroom right now, have been a great inspiration in my life and we sure have a long life ahead of us. I will not walk away if I ever meet a Sag male again, but will for now find focus, do my meditation and make sure I release some of my ghosts before I enter a love relation again.
I thank the people and the universe for the wisdom gained so far ! Thanks to Lindaland for making me put words to this and I hope it may help others on the amazing quest of love.

Endless love, Li

posted December 05, 2003 02:23 PM         

Nagali,

I am sending you a Big Astral hug back!!! I think the way you handled your Sag was beautiful. You are wise beyond your years and I see that you did take the time to discuss so many issues with him. My heart was really hoping that it would work out for the two of you, but you are right, this may not be the time. Saggies sometimes need that fear of the "love" relationship ending in order to put it into perspective. Yes, we do need the love and hugs.

You are extremely perceptive in that you touched on a painful truth hidden is most of us Sagittarians, we so much need that love, but we are afraid of asking for it. More than that, we are afraid of being rejected. What many others may not realize is that when a Sag finally opens their heart up to another, we are totally vulnerable, then when we are rejected, we build up a wall. Finally, another comes, and we tear down the wall, but it happens again. Soon, we do learn fast, we build such a strong heavy duty wall, that no one can break it down. Then we are sad because we are alone. BUT, we go about life all cheery like nothing happened.

Oh to be a human's head and horse a$$!!!! LOL

I do hope your Sag sees what a beautiful and wonderful woman you are and how joyful your relationship can be!! My heart goes out to you.

Starflower,

How are you doing? How are things going in your life?

posted December 06, 2003 05:11 AM         

Thank you all!
Its been a airy day. Light and a good feeling after all. Hmmm ƒº at 5 today, among our mates we hit into each other at the moment where a big lettuce piece stretched a muscle and made my jaw swell into Hulk size. No kidding! They made me call my mom and the emergency clinic. Well it made him smile and he made some fun putting a napkin bowl into his mouth saying ¡¨see you Leila¡¨ Before he left after his dinner. Of course he ate down stairs, as the lonely wolf he decides to be¡Kgot a text message now ¡§how is the face?¡¨ Miss him yes¡Kmucho! My face is ok people ƒº

Anyway, Starflower if I can help in any way, feel free to hit me. I already read all Sag post at yours and it helped me to see what I needed to do. My best girl friend is a 1975 Sag, one of my best mates a 35 year Sag male, one x-lover a Sag and I am hoping to be a close friend of ¡§Mr. Wonderful hiding behind his wall¡¨. His hearts defence. You are so right in your saying, Pidaua.

I can now look back and take for a fact that he took some of my Aqu nature as a rejection
- the dream ended 4 months ago when some of his sarcastic arrows hit me at a time I did not need it. My arrow back tasted more sour that anyone of his. Cause his arrows hit an Acu girl with rubber on the tip and he is more vulnerable to my honesty. Then he started to build his wall. Building very quickly So even though he¡¦s a tough and strong man on the outside he¡¦s soft and tender when it comes to his heart.