posted December 20, 2003 09:40 PM         

As we mature we begin to see workarounds. Sometimes it may be using the power of the outer planets to the utmost, sometimes the inner gives you the push. For rarely does everything work in synch.

What then should be the focal points when I'm looking for the lasting committment? Is there a rule of thumb somewhere?

Would the house aspects be more important, the inner planets, the outer, Chiron? I FULLY understand there are no definite answers in one place, that one has to consider the entire picture.

Just wondering though, in the case of someone who's constantly teetering... I've been through many relationships and learning a lot about myself here. Looking into everything. There's always a few really fabulous things going on between us, and then some really rough ones.

Thanks...

.gloria

posted December 29, 2003 11:11 AM         

being a holistic counselor yourself, would you agree that there are many layers to people?

"lasting commitment" is a tricky phrase b/c it does not necessarily mean healthy commitment. when i see the word commitment, i think of people committed to or maintaining something. may be a broken marriage, domestic violence, children, money, tradition, power, etc. one sometimes does not always know on the outside looking in.

charts and people are interconnected on various layers. reading requires intuition and personal development on the inside growing outward. reading lots of books helps, but eventually one has to make deductions and open up the third eye to make sense. the hard part is dissolving one's own lenses/filters and developing the others' to see how they "make sense." then communicating it into their world.

that said, unless those faculties are developed --- one can never know for sure if it's, say the Venus trine Moon romance creating the commitment, or Moon square Saturn.

make sense?

posted December 29, 2003 01:33 PM         

Yes, understood... thank you.

I'm highly intuitive, and have such an individualized approach to life, but in relationships of all types, my energy doesn't have that "flow". So during times when I value my courage but curse my isolation, I begin to question my intuition.

I'm the type of person who in a work or school environment is respected a great deal and has a lot of fun interactions in that environment, but never gets invited to the after-hours get together's. Work and school ARE my social times.

At this point, my intuition says to keep seeking here on this forum because there are probably energies I'm not yet fully aware of.

Thanks for posting me.

.gloria

posted December 29, 2003 02:03 PM         

i am looking at your chart. you have a number of classic indicators of the anima-animus integration issues.

there's also the T-square and i sense your cancer moon is getting the brunt end for depression

. . . deep inside, i know you are very lonely. but believing that reaching out to touch someone is not going to be the balm that will ease your heart. people will come and go, and there will be times when it feels like people pull the rug from out under you for no good reason. and you will cycle back home to the depression and isolation asking yourself what you did wrong this time around.

you have probably felt lonely most of your life, and i sense deep down inside you may already know that unless you are complete, a marriage may actually exacerbate the isolation and put you at further risk of emotional dependency.

posted December 29, 2003 04:25 PM         

Even going into therapy ends in frustration as I feel like the things I need to "correct" are neverending. In addition, every therapist I've seen tells me I'd make a good therapist. *sigh*

So you are absolutely right about knowing I could be even lonelier in a marriage. Especially since I tend to give my all. And this may be why much to the chagrin of my family, acquaintances and advisors, a lifestyle combining my spiritual power as "witness" with a passionate yet detached kind of love makes me more comfortable.

It's difficult to find that guy cause I have a lot of maternal vibes. My astrology even says I have frustration in my first impressions people have of me because they do not reflect my internal self.

I think I'd be best off with a brotherly kind of love, which is fine with me because I'm openminded sexually. I just need that security of home, and it gets ALL mixed up.

I'm well aware of the T-Square as I have really good material on this. Lacking in fluidity with feelings (Opposing Can/Cap), but pechant for the mystical (Focal Point Scorp), betting the whole house in one swoop (Empty Space Aries)

I posted somewhere else about something I would LOVE your opinion on, if you think Lilith may have something to do with it, CHECK THIS OUT:

Dark Moon Lilith - Leo in 4th hs.
Lilith Asteroid - Leo in 4th hs.
Singleton Uranus - Leo in 4th hs.
North Node - Leo in 4th hs.
My 4th House Cusp - in Leo

Part of Fortune - Leo, alas, in 3rd hs.

There has GOT to be something to this too.

Appreciate your posts very very much.

.gloria

posted December 29, 2003 05:51 PM         

...the more I distract myself, the less motivation I'll have to confront the little voice inside...

...the more I distract myself, the less motivation I'll have to confront the little voice inside...