posted January 11, 2004 04:55 PM         

She likes the goofiness of the other one, and they banter back and forth...he's like a big kid sometimes...just really silly and smark-alecky.

posted January 11, 2004 06:16 PM         

Then it started to grow and boom. I lived quite the cosmopolitan lifestyle, not in terms of like a lot of money or anything, but in terms of culture and style and education. Getting asked out on a date was NEVER a problem there. People are energetic and need to make connections with you.

The fast-paced stress and traffic and crime around 1987, was just getting too much for me. Didn't fit well with my native "country girl" side, no matter how sophisticated I'd become.

So in Florida, you drive in any direction for 50 miles, you are in a completely different world. Central Florida is FANTASTIC relating to the reasons I left South Florida. But lacking in that ooomph. Guy's are not "on" and sophisticated in their approach. PLUS, how was I to know my window of opportunity would shrink so drastically? Everyone in the 34-45 age group is either married, with kids, or with a lot of complicated baggage like alimony, the evil ex's, etc.

I mean, for years I've been signing up with all the announcement around here to let you know what events are coming up. But this is NOT Atlanta, or Miami. The stuff I'm interested is chock full of ederly folks. Either that or the trendy places are filled with 19 - 27 year olds.

Believe me, I've tried. I've taken tons of classes or every type you can think of, etc. I was even on one of the art district boards here.

I'm trying to forget about all these external setbacks, and trying to really conduct myself so that I am completely approachable. That way, it really won't matter where I am. So I'm kind of grabbing a little of everything when I get feedback from all you's, and I so much appreciate it.

I'm definately reaching out for S.O.S., which has never been easy for me.

Lioneye - More unbelievable stories! Amazing... These guys that you call your "future husbands", besides being attractive, what else made the heart flutter? Cuz people like me who's radar is all f'ed up have to wean themselves off of whatever it is they've been initially attracted to. It's like designing a whole new radar system from the inside out.

Fish - I know what you mean about meeting each other after you've worked out all the kinks. When I was younger there was no chance of any semblance of normalcy within a relationship. We could play house, but invariably, you also bring into the "house" all the garbage issues you think you can outsmart. Isn't it great to get to that point? Damn... I'm so ready...

.gloria

posted January 11, 2004 11:42 PM         

.gloria

posted January 12, 2004 12:14 AM         

Look at him right in the eyes, start with his shoes, work your way up, look at his face quickly, if you like what you see, look at him right in the eyes and smile as much as possible and stay in his way until you can think of something to say. Take your time, he's not going to leave. Don't look at his face and look at someone else, stay fixed on his face and don't move until he leaves or until he gets hungry, then ask him what he wants to do?

The Gemini just couldn't let me leave but he told me he didn't want to ask me out. Then I gave him my cell number and he called me when I was in my car and apologized for not asking me out. He said he must have been crazy not to go with me. Then he asked me out, and I was in love.

He just kind of babbled like Geminis do, while I stood in his way and stared at his face and nodded, making sure to put my body in the way between his body and the exit. I don't wear sexy clothes, but I do like light colours, and white. They seem to lighten the mood, and I wear very little makeup, but when I do it's light. Air signs seem to like this look especially, but it's also less formal, and more child like. I wear white with gold sandals in summer, and ivory sweater dresses in winter with silver jewelry and low heels.

I do wear sweaters a little tight, nothing lowcut, and no dangling jewelry, but I will wear short skirts, or ones with a split, with tights, or a tight sweater once in a while, in light colours. Black is overdone I think, I like black for formal events with women or couples. For single men I would choose something brighter, and bolder. After all you can always leave and go out with girl friends if it doesn't work out. If you wear an interesting conversation piece you can strike up a conversation.

I have an unique necklace that you can't miss, and it strikes up a lot of conversations. Since I am wearing simple clothing you can always see it, I don't wear patterns or stripes.

Wear something like that and flash it around so you can start something up, or something unusual a man is holding or wearing. Don't notice something sentimental or old, it will have memories, just something newer or something he is trying to show off.

I made the mistake of complimenting an Aqua on a watch once and it had a lot of memories none that were good and It turned into a bad night.

Natasha
Gloria you are just not good at making a first move, nobody is at first, but remember if you don't have the courage, who will?

posted January 12, 2004 06:42 AM         

I'm sorry to hear how tough it's been! You know the old saying "when you stop looking, you'll find it." Not meant to be discouraging! How about a trip?

posted January 12, 2004 11:17 AM         

But, again...the smallest disagreement can be a deal killer if you're both really stubborn and self rightous. At least ONE person has to yeild. I'm not saying a person should give up all their convictions and go down without a fight, I'm just saying...we have to pick and choose our battles carefully, and ask "Is this the hill I want to die on?". Most often, the answer is NO. In the grand scheme of things, does it really make a hill of beans difference?

posted January 12, 2004 03:19 PM         

I'm attractive, you know? I dress casual but clean cut, always nice shoes like sandals or nice leather booties. My make-up is minimal and my hair doesn't look like I'm trying to hard, it's just long and natural.

I rarely wear jewelry, if I do it's simple. I always wear muted colors with a bit of modern contrast, and never wear patterns. Simple clean lines which also compliment my body.

People are shocked if I tell them my age. Many time people think I'm in my late 20's, and someetimes in my 30's. But not my real age.

I've been getting some HUGE revelations in the last few days about my block with trust, and/or my pattern of withdrawing from relationships and then I'll hunt for someone delicious to fill that void I can't stand being empty anymore. Sort of like fasting, you're fine for a while, and then instead of gradually eating a little here and there, you eat a whole chicken and a large pizza.

My vulnerability has always been a huge blind spot for me, but since I'm self-proclaimed Queen of Good-bye's, I guess I don't have anything left to lose, so WHY NOT let my true feeings come to the surface of my being.

I want to be APPROACHABLE.

I've been putting up a wall, even though I was convinced I wasn't. Even following the "it will happen when you least expect it", and NOTHING happens STILL.

I recently remembered one of those feel-good posters from the 70's which was so popular:
"Love is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention towards other things it will come and softly sit on your shoulder."

But I was still unknowingly putting out the "But if you try to hurt me I'll break you in two..." If you knew what I've been through you'd totally understand, and I've come a LONG way. I feel like I'm nearing the finish line and all of you are cheering me on.

Ironically, my very first memory as a child was when I walked for the first time, my parents were in front of me, smiling big, cheering me on, and clapping and laughing when I finally walked to them.

I hear you about the Libra need to win an argument. I was quite the challenge in my late teens, and I had not come accomplished at toning down the water in my chart.

Then I went through a 6 - 7 year long spiritual quest, and came out of it all the wiser. During that time I realized what I wanted to personally stand for, what I was willing to tolerate or not. And I'm so grounded now.

And not argumentative because I don't want to win the battle. I'm going to win the war. And a big part of that is loving your brothers and sisters while not compromising your core. And I've gotten there.

I just don't have a shaved head and live on a mountain top without bathing. I'm sexy and a tad trendy, and I have a wicked sense of humor.

I'm madonna, wh*** AND monk all in one!

Of course I'm not perfect and the little gypsy and rebel in me will always be alive. I just don't understand why guys end up with the woman who is manipulative, I want to be appreciated for being real, honest and humble. So again, I ask. What should I wear to the prom, and which one should I crash?

Thanks for all your help... I'll send you all wedding invites when the time comes OK? Free food and drinks?

.gloria

posted January 12, 2004 05:05 PM         

When I was dating, it wasn't difficult to attract a date. The hard part was finding someone compatible. Some guys would tell me all sorts of things to make themselves appear compatible. The nice thing was most were looking for a serious relationship like I was.

Around New Year's Eve 2002, three dates made plans with me. But I just didn't feel connected with them, and stayed home.

Dating can make one suffer burn out.

posted January 12, 2004 10:32 PM         

Aphrodite - Yeah, the opposite part being that the guys you ran into seemed to be looking for a serious relationship.

- Thank you.

.gloria

posted January 16, 2004 11:29 PM         

About the whole 'standards' thing, the other woman told me that you'll know where to set the bar by the way it makes you feel: in other words, don't ever lower your standards to a level that makes you feel uneasy, like you're not being true to yourself. Just because peoples' standards may not be the same as yours you need to do what works for you...it's never wrong to ask for what your soul needs, no matter what others are doing. (man I should really take my own advice! ha.)

...funny that I stumbled upon this posting today cuz I just was talking about these very things yesterday!

posted January 16, 2004 11:44 PM         

Astro, what you said about your spiritual quest and making peace with your brothers and sisters and staying true to your core really struck a cord with me...I'm wondering if you did anything specifically to work toward that end? Any really inspiring books etc? I want to achieve that state of engagement without losing myself too, I can use all the help I can get

Thanks,

posted January 17, 2004 12:01 AM         

Quite synchronistic...

I'm going to take every word you said to the bank. I know what you mean and I just get annoyed when someone you know doesn't have that much integrity acts like they deserve the whole enchilata and they get it! Know what I mean?

I guess it's the same way the "good guys" feel when they see total losers get all the girls.

I'm thinking... I've had some people nearly ruin me out of jealousy, and I think it makes one sort of believe they don't deserve too much greatness. Thanks for making me think of that.

It's really scary... I'm sitting here on a Friday night trying to convince myself to get out, and I'm scared to death. Mostly it's because more times than not, I come home really frustrated cuz there's so many a-holes out there, and they just suck the faith out of you.

I HATE getting my hopes up, etc., and then coming home cursing cuz of all the a-holes! I need a plan! It's not the usual hunt this time.

.gloria

posted January 17, 2004 02:18 PM         

You can't change yourself for someone else it's true, but time does change you, and there are forces around us that we can't control, one is our need for cultural stimulation. One Libra was from Denmark and she was really bored, all three have never left this area and it suits them much better. A Libra can't live without being around lots of people, and they have to be nice people.

posted January 17, 2004 08:07 PM         

In the east, the most north I've been is New York, and then Canada when I was very young.

Thank you for letting me know. I'll have to get up there and check it out. Or maybe there's a way to chat with some nice guys over there over the Internet?

I'm the type of person who needs someone to kick her butt to get out the door. Is there a lot of traffic and stress up there? I like simple surroundings. Not boring, just simple and not claustrophobic.

Where exactly did your friends end up living?

posted January 19, 2004 11:59 AM         

Were we seperated at birth or something LOL...really, sometimes I think we have so much in common.

I can identify with you about the dating scene. It wasn't about attracting someone, but finding someone I was compatible with. I have found, even know with me being off the market, guys will try to convince me I should go out with them.

When I was dating I would get so burned out over how some of the guys would try so hard to be what they thought I wanted or change the person they were to be with me. One guy was a friend that is a Cappy. I mean we're so different, but he was getting to the point where he said "I can be the man you want. I will take up hiking, camping, even have a family" He was much older, has two grown up kids and HATES the outdoors.

I just didn't understand why they would try so hard to be what they were not supposed to be. Then I dated briefly when Mr.Leo and I took a break from each other (my choice because I felt I needed it LOL). There were three guys pursing me that I didn't feel any serious attraction to at all. One was a Libra (Leo Moon) another a Cancer (Leo moon) and the last an Aqua (Leo moon). Leo thing...go figure. The Libra almost became a stalker, the Aqua got the hint, and the Cancer still e-mails me and things I am "the one".

posted October 10, 2005 07:42 PM         

I was out on the floor at a dance club, loosing myself in the music when I noted a tall man walking up to the bar a few feet away. I couldn’t honestly tell you what drew my eyes to him. I’m normally pretty oblivious when dancing, but there was something magnetic about this man’s presence. I watched him out of the corner of my eye for a bit, trying to get a gauge on him. The odd thing was my gut told me he was watching me as well. And maybe he was, because I left the main dance floor, and ended up in another smaller area upstairs and lo and behold Mr. Tall and Handsome showed up there a few minutes later and started dancing near me. I left dance floor #2 after a few songs and went out to stand on the club’s balcony. A few minutes later, Mr. Mysterious was at my elbow, smiling and striking up a conversation. His kind smile, and easy conversational style made it comfortable and delightful relating to him. Additionally he shared a pack of sweet tarts with me during that initial chat which sealed the deal for me as sweet tarts are some of my favorite candies. He asked me to dance with him, which I did. I normally don’t dance with others, but it just felt right with him. Later, he took me out to breakfast and gave me one of the best kisses of my life. Haha. Which is another thing I just don’t do on the first meeting or date. : ) I offered him my number at the end of the night and we’ve been seeing each other ever since.

posted October 10, 2005 07:50 PM         

I met my last husband at work too.....(I like to suss em out for a few years before I approach em LOL). We were friends first and then I made the mistake of getting in deeper with him....oh dear !!!

My first love I met on a football pitch...I used to go and watch him play....I was 13 at the time.....aaahhhhh...he was 17. I married him at 20, it was too young (for me).....

As for my next love.......no I hope not......maybe in the next life....and I will probably meet him.......at work LOL !!!!