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Author
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Topic: Happy & Healthy Relationships
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Aphrodite
Moderator Posts: 3280
From: San Francisco, CA, United States
Registered: Feb 2002
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posted January 13, 2004 05:44 PM
 
Where are you?  Would you share with us your stories? Doesn't have to be with a significant other, it can be with be someone you have a great relationship with.  IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 1606
From: ontario, canada
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted January 13, 2004 07:17 PM
Aphrodite~
Funny that you started this thread, as just today, I was exeptionally happy with my husband. We had gone to a work party on the weekend, and I was struck by what a good natured personality he has. He is truly a good man, and person. It is obvious, it just seeps from his pores. The idea that he is drawn to me still makes me go ????
This feeling comes and goes. I guess the fact that I lose it, and most importantly, rediscover it, is enough to know that my relationship is solid. I know it is alot more loving and centred than alot of others out there.
I flounder. I wonder what this life has in store for me. I am still drawn to others, I still challenge what's real and what's illusion. But I still wake up some days, so grateful to have this caring man beside me, he turns me on, is genuinely in love with me, and I genuinely love his personality. If he weren't my lover, he would most certainly be my friend.
Sometimes I want to free him from me though, if that makes sense. I feel that he is too good for me, and even though that seems self-depreciating, I mean it in a different way. I feel that he is pure. His love is childlike in intent, he would not hurt me.
I do not want to hurt him. But I feel more raw, more in tune with passions, more primal, in a sense, than him. I feel that I am almost too much for him, and my dark sides are too overwhelming for his dark sides. Right now, though. This day, today and yesterday, I love him He is almost my everything. The almost is a recent thing. It makes me want to cry in anger at myself for even adding that simple word. But I can't reconcile my feelings with my illusions.
Sorry, getting too deep. He is awesome. I recognize how wonderful he is. That is what matters.IP: Logged |
proxieme
Knowflake Posts: 3193
From: Southern 'Bama
Registered: Aug 2002
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posted January 13, 2004 07:53 PM
From a Pregnancy MB's Question "How's Your Hubby Treating You (During the Pregnancy)?":My husband's fantastic, although in Army training at present.
He had a small break (2 weeks, for the holidays) between training missions, and while he was here he drew baths for me, we took showers together and washed one another (as always), he ran around getting whatever I wanted/needed from the grocery store, and in general wouldn't let me pick-up anything over 5 pounds or so (which was frustrating, but sweet) - this while being hyped-up, testosterone man from the nature of the training through the majority of his time here (pretty much a 180 from his normal demeanor).
He's now left for WOCS (Warrant Officer Candidate School), and - while still in in-processing and temporary billeting - has called me several times a day, often simply to say, "I love you, I miss you, you're the World to me." Other times we've just talked and bantered like always or he's talked me through a little hormone mood, which helps immensely (and I tell him so).
Last night when he called, he said that he probably wouldn't be able to call again for some time; the candidates put in a request for Sunday phone privileges, but that's not a certain thing from what I understand. He said, "Though I probably won't be able to call or even write much, know that I love you more than anything in the world; you're my life." I echoed the above, and we were crying. He said, "It kills me that I'm not here for you right now," I said, "You are here for me, I know you're here. It's like you've said - part of us is always with the other" I'll miss him. I already do, but it's short-term. If all goes well, he'll be done with this phase of training by the end of February. He'll then be in a 9-month Flight Training cycle, which will be much more lenient. I'll be moving us (our stuff) down to Alabama at the end of this month (we won't qualify for a military move b/c he's not yet permanent party) - it's our first big, joint move, so wish me luck  It's so odd, kinda like pixelp said - he seems so good (and is, from what I can gather), is so spiritual, so kind without thought. I don't believe that I've shared this with ya'll before, but he told me that he was amazed with a memory after we got married: He had had a dream when he was with his prior girlfriend, of a wedding. He saw the bride come down the aisle, veiled, and assumed it to be her. In the dream he thought, "Oh, OK - it's ______; we're getting married." She reached him, lifted her veil, and it was someone that he didn't recognize - but the sight of her as his wife-to-be made him extremely happy. A little into our relationship, he remembered the dream: he said that it was me.
Again, he's so truthful - I believe him.
And one of my little "knowings" that I sometimes have (but usually ignore) from when I was 16 (and breaking-up with the Gemini, my first boyfriend): I had an odd moment of clarity, and I knew - clear as day - that I would have no other serious boyfriend, that there would be no one with whom I was "intimate", until I was 21; that I would date, but nothing further. Then, after that person, there would be one person intermediary, and that the next man that I was "with" would be the man that I would stay with, marry, and build a life with. I ignored that premonition, forgot it, dismissed it when it resurfaced (especially when I was dating that "intermediary guy"), but it came back full force when Jason and I married. I am happy, so happy, as Jason says he is.
I feel contented, at home.
Our relationship is giving and loving, and in those areas of baggage where it might not be too healthy (ie, both of our "jealousies"), we're both incredibly understanding and calm regarding the feelings of the other & talk through their doubts and fears.
God, I love him. IP: Logged |
FishKitten
Knowflake Posts: 374
From: beautiful, hidden mountain village, BC, Canada
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted January 13, 2004 10:22 PM
My relationship is very happy. August 2004 will be 10 years for us. We spend most of our free time together. We still have nights when we start talking about things...nothing in particular, just current events, what we did today, how funny the pets are, etc...and suddenly notice it is past midnight and we really need to get to bed. He is still the cutest thing I have ever seen and he tells me regularly that I am the most remarkable woman in the world. Does it get any better than that?IP: Logged |
astro junkie
Knowflake Posts: 1327
From: orlando, fl
Registered: Nov 2003
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posted January 14, 2004 01:27 AM
The happiest and healthiest relationship I've had is with an unknown yet knowable Source. I mean, who ELSE has been looking over me when all the odds have been against me. Sometimes I beg Him to release me. That I'm so tired and exhausted, that I don't know what to do anymore. That I'm useless and that I'm ready... It's a love/hate relationship in a way. My rather monastic life with many a memory to fill up a whole volume of Playboy Forums haunting me, well... I'm really o.k. with either. But I'd rather have both. Lately He's been telling me that it's not so important that I receive His approval or proof of deserving love of the highest, but more important to relax and let Him present the picture to me in His own way. It's difficult. In my life I've been not only the audience to His art show, but I've been the painter, sitting too closely to my materpieces, obsessed with every detail. Now I am told to sit back and watch the slideshow from afar. "Peg... it will come back to you... when... the shutter falls... you see it all in 3-D... it's your favorite foreign movie...." - Steely Dan My love is a voyeur... ------------------
it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness... IP: Logged |
Nebel
Knowflake Posts: 218
From: Australia
Registered: Aug 2002
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posted January 14, 2004 05:39 AM
Hiya Aphrodite 
How have you been?I've been in a relationship with the same man now for about two years. This relationship is strange - i learn so much about myself while I'm around Michael - but at the same time it is extremely difficult. He is the most kind, beautiful, loving man in the whole world - and he is my best friend. But having said that he is the most stubbourn, inconsiderate, ******* i have ever met! Our relationship is never stable - its always all the way up - or all the way down! Right now its very much all the way down. He told me last week that he can not give me more than a day at a time commitment - and that he isn't sure he 'likes' me being around. A few days earlier he was telling me how MUCH he loves me, and can't imagine living without me. This is the polarity of this man - and really I'm trying very hard at the moment to decide if i can take all that bad with all that good... Sound confusing? You BET it is!! I'm at home with Dad right now - doing a hell of a lot of thinking on this issue It tears my heart out to try and let go of this man in order to persue a new life - but at the same time it drives me crazy coping with the up's and down's of this relationship!
Sorry to babble!
LOL
Nebel IP: Logged |
Aphrodite
Moderator Posts: 3280
From: San Francisco, CA, United States
Registered: Feb 2002
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posted January 20, 2004 10:49 AM
Thank you for the replies.I woke up out of bed this morning and heard mysELF say: "If you really want to know what Healthy and Loving relationships are like, make friends with those who have them. Then you can see for yoursELF." Hope this helps ------------------
"If music be the food of love, play on." -Twelfth Night, by William Shakespeare IP: Logged |
Oxychick
Moderator Posts: 2486
From: neither here nor there
Registered: Jul 2002
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posted January 20, 2004 11:00 AM
I have wonderfully happy healthy relationships with some of my friends, most specifically my Aquarian buddy. We talk openly about everything-even those things (yes, we all have 'those things') that would normally embarrass us. We can tell the other when something doesn't sit right with us, etc. And we don't judge one another when our thoughts or actions seem to stray from our "core."  Instead, we discuss and try to understand it. Neither of us feels like we have to hide anything from the other, and I think that's important and key in a healthy relationship.I also have a very healthy, loving relationship with my mom. We went through a lot together, and it helped to bond us. IP: Logged |
trillian
Moderator Posts: 1317
From: The Boundless
Registered: Mar 2003
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posted January 20, 2004 01:19 PM
 to all of you for sharing.All of my relationships, with friends lovers and family, seem to be complex. Saturn square Venus most likely has a hand in that. My current love interest is most likely not The One, though it often feels like he is, and we have things left for us to do. It is not ready to be over, and if ever it is, we will remain friends forever, I feel confident of this. Nebel, you're not babbling, we're here to listen. Do you and he perhaps have lots of Uranus aspects? Never let him devalue your love... IP: Logged |
Sun_Scorpion
Knowflake Posts: 302
From: UK
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted January 20, 2004 07:49 PM
What a fabulous topic Aphrodite!!
I have to say that I get on best with my Mum.
I know that might seem odd as many woman don't, but me and my Mum have a brilliant, understanding friendship.
Astro wise, I'm a Scorpio sun, Gem moon, asc Libra and Mars in Aqua, while she is a Taurus sun, Scorp moon (she understands where I'm comin from) Gem venus, asc Aqua with Mars in Aqua too. We just get on so well, talk a lot, similar views, intuitivey know when something is up, feel the same about other people we meet/know, and just basically really help, understand and know each other. Also, she didn't at all get on with her mother, and is very scared of her in fact!! But she knew that and still made a huge effort to be different for me and my brother. (Eg not a cow like my Grandma...!!!)
We also have many fiery arguments but its all fun and we joke about it afterwards.
(We both think a good argument clears the air.)
I think the 3 most important RULES to having a perfect, happy relationship is;
1. COMMUNICATION
2. UNCONDITIONAL/NON JUDGEMENTAL LOVE
3. TRUST
If you have all three, you are on the road to happy/healthy relationships.....!!
I think if your friend/partner has a Moon sign conjunct your sun or vice versa, you have a very strong chance of deeply undersanding each other... what do u reckon!?
Same for Ascendant, Venus/Merc/Mars.
IP: Logged |
spiria
Knowflake Posts: 123
From: big 'ol Tejas
Registered: Sep 2003
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posted January 26, 2004 01:01 AM
I would have to firstly say my Libra girlfriend. Even though we met only a couple years ago, she has seen me through tumultous as well as exciting times. She drove to town for the birth of my babe, always is my shoulder/ear to cry on and I can be utterly honest with her about anything. I trust and love her completely and then some. She is giving and wise, yet silly and innocent. We have a long distance friendship now, which has only made it stronger, as we constantly tell each other how much we miss each other and find ways to stay in touch often. She's AMAZING! I know we will be friends forever....when my heart hurts over something, I remember her, or talk to her, and all is better.
That is definitely a happy and healthy relationship, no? We can tell each other anything, we have never fought, only tifted for a millisecond and instantly apologized...we have ultimate respect and love for one another....if we were lesbians we'd be married by now IP: Logged |
Aphrodite
Moderator Posts: 3280
From: San Francisco, CA, United States
Registered: Feb 2002
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posted January 26, 2004 10:00 AM
IP: Logged | |
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