posted April 25, 2004 11:13 PM         

He left last week for a week to a family funeral. I had a funeral this weekend too.
(We're both Libra's)...??

posted April 26, 2004 10:02 AM         

Regardless of doubts, fears, worries, and seeming problems, somewhere deep inside is a feeling ... a knowing ... that it is real and meant to be. It cannot be ignored or denied for long without erupting into some kind of physical expression, like crying, yelling, or depression. It cannot be expressed accurately with words either, not even to your Lover ... it's a "knowing" thing for both of you; you see it in each other's eyes, feel it in each other's hearts, sense it in each other's minds, experience it in each other's actions, and, if you listen hard enough, you can also hear it in each other's words ... the positive ones and the negative ones for all of these, btw.

Sadly, just knowing isn't enough to guarantee a lasting relationship for anyone. Once you know it's true/real, then you both have to work just as hard to make it last.
Being a Sagittarius, I feel that honesty and communication are the highest priorities for effort, though not necessarily the only ones.

I wish you all Love! You deserve it!

posted April 26, 2004 11:57 AM         

pixlepixie
I would never judge you in any number of ways, but certainly not about something as personal and complex as this. I think you are aware of your connections with this man, and also of the many complex circumstances and ties that surround your relationship ... whatever it has been, is, or will be. Please don't feel guilty about your decisions, or regret the path you've chosen so far ... "all roads lead to Rome" is cliche but it's true. You are still working out a lot of "karmic contracts" with many people (as we all are) and perhaps that is just one reason why you two are not together now and/or whether or not you will be in the future. I can relate in a strange way to your situation. I also was in a relationship where I felt this connection, but oddly enough, I walked out for the exact same reasons you did (drugs, unemployment, depression, etc. on his part) ... although we did also have our fair share of fights (Mars square Pluto, twice). Strangely enough, at that point in time, I also met another man that affected me deeply and that I did become involved with ... but after a while I came to realize that my attraction towards him was based more on the fact that he represented the things I needed at that time; stability, purpose, tangible goals, etc. That relationship soon ended as well. Part of me wished for someone with the same connection as my first love, but at the same time rebelled strongly against being involved with the same person because he was still wrapped up in his heavy drug use and depression, etc. I also wished to keep the things I had learned from my most recent relationship in perspective because I found those lessons to be highly important to me and my growth on all levels. I made a grand effort to be patient and put it in God/dess hands. Lo and behold, along comes my hubby and the rest is ... our future! (BTW, he is Aquarius Sun, Libra Moon) He is a wonderful blend of all the good things that I had with my first love and the things that attracted me to my learning relationship ... with his own little "challenging" aspects for fun. (There were certainly other relationships, but none quite so impacting.) I also share Pluto/Venus contacts, although minor, with both my first love and my true love ... the first one was a quintile aspect, my hubby's and mine is a semi-sextile aspect. Oddly, my hubby and I also have a Mars square Pluto aspect, but only one this time around, and I have learned from experience to follow Linda's advice on that one.

Anything is possible, and thanks for the love!

posted April 26, 2004 02:10 PM         

I loved your description of how you know it's love. Can you please tell me more about what you meant by:

"...you can also hear it in each other's words ... the positive ones and the negative ones for all of these, btw.."

posted April 26, 2004 04:35 PM         

*hugs*

posted April 26, 2004 06:19 PM         

I'd heard some distant relatives talking about this one really happy married couple, they've been married for like 40 years or something, and still kicking it.

And when people ask them what the secret of their success is they say "RESPECT!" And one of the amazing things is when they are referring to each other, they do so in the most formal way you would refer to an honored stranger. They don't get lazy with their language.

posted April 26, 2004 06:33 PM         

And that couple you mention sounds very wise to me. I love the reference to not letting our language get "lazy". Most appropriate insight! OH, the word druids must be gusted and gruntled at the very mention!

posted April 26, 2004 11:03 PM         

*hugs*

your willingness to share your most heartfelt emotions about your love and feelings has touched me.

You are a wonderfully sensitive, caring person.

You rock!!

posted April 27, 2004 02:25 PM         

This is something that has happened to me so many times throughout the years. Once in a blue moon, I'll wake up, and when I open my eyes, everything looks different.

And I'll like start walking around my house, fully aware, and all the sudden I start thinking, "Is this MY home? Did I decorate it like this? It's so... BEAUTIFUL!"

And I was talking about that feeling (it's NOT LIKE dejavue, but it has its own realm like dejavue does) to my hypnotherapist (who it only took 5 or 6 sessions with) and he said to me that writers (cuz I'm a writer) write in order to hide.

posted April 27, 2004 06:56 PM         

I really feel for you with having so much indecision in your love life, no kidding here. I think it's enormously difficult to be so torn in two like the way it sounds you kind of are right now.

I am just curious about where the planet Jupiter is located within your natal chart?

If you say it's in your 7th House, I will not be surprised, since I know that Jupiter usually means many loves, etc....