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Author
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Topic: Aphrodite~
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pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 1606
From: ontario, canada
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted March 05, 2004 02:03 AM
 
I just wanted to say good job.
I think in our verve to honour our own pasts, and the mistakes we've made (and could possibly prevent someone else from making) at least, I can speak for myself about this~ I was a bit too 'forthcoming' and dramatic and bold when posting about sweet IneedLove's dilemma. I just hate seeing someone go through such soul-wrenching times.. and from the perspective I have, I wanted to 'help'. Sometimes good intentions don't provide anything but a way for us to heal our own inner hurts. I know we all just wanted to knock some sense into her... or guide her down what WE felt was the right path, but the gentle guiding wind turned into a maelstrom pretty quickly.
You were absolutely right to shut down that thread, and give her compassionate guidance.
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juniperb
Moderator Posts: 3936
From: www.Heaven.Home
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted March 05, 2004 08:46 AM
Aphrodite, you are an amazing woman Your compassion and valuable insight is a lite for us all. Shine on  juniperb  ------------------
If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. ~James Herriot IP: Logged |
pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 1820
From: Annapolis, Maryland USA
Registered: May 2002
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posted March 05, 2004 11:18 AM
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pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 1606
From: ontario, canada
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted March 05, 2004 11:28 AM
I can totally see both sides to this...
I appreciate the words you used to help and guide ineedlove, I'm sure we all did.
I think we got a little too in her face about it. The message is there, she just has to read it now, and hope it sinks in where it counts. We've planted our little seeds... weeds and all.
I can see from her responses that she may be nineteen in years, but those years were very sheltered, I sense a meekness there,a vulnerability and unrelenting kindness.. like the kind of puppy someone kicks and it keeps coming around, thinking that is love. She had not one nasty word to say to our various responses... I mean, Pidaua, if that were you or I reading that? You know we'd have an "how dare you" response for anyone...the page would've been on fire!!!!
She's sensitive and I think needs guidance of another kind now.. If she chooses to let all the words resonate and find a good place within her, then it is well enough that we have done our job. She wanted opinions, and we certainly helped her there. I think there's enough guidance to last a long time.. but she needs now to find within herself some support and truth.
So she doesn't look to men for it. Can you just see it? Oh, I can, and I am not impressed. I don't know, I got the impression tht anything that needed to be said, was.. and if it carried on ,it would be strong women versus vulnerable ones, and we'd stomp on her. I wish that weren't true, but somehow a bunch of forceful women together can be empowering or just intimidating.
Ineedlove, do not give up your potential, you DO deserve more.IP: Logged |
pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 1820
From: Annapolis, Maryland USA
Registered: May 2002
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posted March 05, 2004 11:44 AM
Hmmmm, lately I have been disappointed with certain aspects of this board - maybe I am just going through a phase - but for the time being I really need to distance myself from here. There was a time when I couldn't wait to read posts and participate, but over the past month there seems to be some major changes going on and it could very well be me. So, I am going to stop putting myself out there (or here) and look into other venues. Good luck guys, I'll probably check in from time to time, but I doubt it. Lots of Love, Shawnee IP: Logged |
Oxychick
Moderator Posts: 2486
From: neither here nor there
Registered: Jul 2002
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posted March 05, 2004 12:27 PM
Hmmm...Many women don't understand that rape is a violation-an act of cruelty against them, and that they are actually a victim. What's worse is that most women who are raped cannot even admit to themselves that it was indeed rape. What we also need to understand is that it will not help to berate someone for putting oneself into a bad situation. We don't always know that, especially at such a young age and lack of sympathy and compassion will only make the person feel that what happened is their fault. Sure, we're outsiders and we can say "er...don't go to such a remote place with that questionable guy" because either we've been there ourselves or we've seen this happen before. But at some point we were all naive and didn't know these things. Aphrodite, I agree-your compassion is a gift and wonderfully bestowed upon the people who seek your advice. Just another onion on the plate. IP: Logged |
Total Pieces
Knowflake Posts: 75
From: Los Angeles, CA
Registered: Dec 2001
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posted March 05, 2004 12:40 PM
I think toward the end I was feeling like my chain was being yanked a bit. She was/is very sheltered but as was said there is a self respect issue that is looming large. We all need love but the desperate ¡§come and save me¡¨ that runs through the post is worrisome. Once again there maybe more going on that is said. Unfortunately she was putting herself in physical danger and we all saw it. I think that is why the ¡¥tone¡¦ on the thread changed. For me, she being 19, there is more of a reason to grow-up. ¡§A girl child isn¡¦t safe in a world full of men¡¨ (I¡¦m sure I am miss quoting Alice Walker but you ladies get my drift). Although I do agree with Aphrodite that this needs to be handled by people she can actually meet and talk to¡KI suspect her mother will not be her first choice. I had a curfew of 11:00 PM until I was 27 years old. Finally found the courage to leave my home. Sheltered is no excuse. Lack of self-esteem. There is the excuse. I have known my share of jerks (We all have) but this level of disrespect for me a s a person? This is not because she is 19. Whatever the reason she will have to learn to take responsibility for her choices. Do not put yourself in a position that you can not get yourself out of. We definately all have done that too but it doesn't mean it shouldn't be said. I hope she can talk with someone who can help her find her inner strength inside¡K Until then this maybe the first of many predators that come her way ¡K
Amber
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pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 1606
From: ontario, canada
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted March 05, 2004 02:25 PM
AWWWWW!!!! Pidaua~
Really?
I will miss your voice here...It does seem you are coming less and less....
Oh, I hope it gets better so you come back. Is it something I said?
*pout*
Please come back and update us on your life and love and those spectacular dreams and insights you have. And when you make that move.... IP: Logged |
Apple
Knowflake Posts: 71
From: blackhole
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted March 05, 2004 02:47 PM
pixel, i understand where you are coming from.personally i saw it as an A=A situation. she presented what she wanted people on this board to know. thoughts were posted. its obvious she was/is hiding something - we couldve spent a year speculating to no end on what exactly is wrong, but it would only be speculation. if she doesnt want to admit things or is unable to, there is nothing much more to tell her. so i have no qualms about aphrodites lockage. i tried putting myself into that kind of adolescent mindset and i feel as if she will not listen either way. sadly, i think this is one of those situations she will need to learn for herself. IP: Logged |
gloomy sag
Knowflake Posts: 146
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2003
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posted March 05, 2004 03:03 PM
Pid, you're going to break my heart if you leave. Please, please, please, don't! I'm always looking for your posts. I see you as my mentor here, please don't abandon me like this! IP: Logged |
pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 1820
From: Annapolis, Maryland USA
Registered: May 2002
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posted March 05, 2004 03:38 PM
Gloomy, we can still e-mail. I would never abandon you. I just need to take a break from some of the things here that I don't think are working for the overall benefit.There are alot of wonderful people here and I am going to miss posting, but I just need to do this. Gloomy - do you still have my e-mail address? IP: Logged |
gloomy sag
Knowflake Posts: 146
From: USA
Registered: Nov 2003
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posted March 05, 2004 03:42 PM
I understand I'll e-mail you  IP: Logged |
juniperb
Moderator Posts: 3936
From: www.Heaven.Home
Registered: Mar 2002
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posted March 05, 2004 04:09 PM
Pid, you will surely be missed! I think it took a lot of insight for Aphrodite to see this was going in circles and made a choice to give the advice, based on ALL ineedlove`s post, indicating a troubled soul that needs some serious help. To lock the thread is to leave all the advice in place, to stop the spinning wheels, and ineedlove can take from it what she wishs. ( My personal opinion on the issue anyhow.) ineedlove, I wish you the best in your life and please do seek counseling. You are worth it and you deserve the best in all things in life  . juniperb ------------------
If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. ~James Herriot IP: Logged |
astro junkie
Knowflake Posts: 1327
From: orlando, fl
Registered: Nov 2003
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posted March 05, 2004 05:47 PM
Pidaua -But go ahead and say exactly what you disagree with! What's bugging you? IP: Logged |
PlayfulPonderingFishMoon
Knowflake Posts: 117
From:
Registered: Sep 2003
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posted March 05, 2004 05:50 PM
Yes, great advice Aphrodite! Good for you!
I am so sorry if I unintentionally upset anyone, especially ineedlove herself, with my own words and advice about self-respect etc...
Posting is such, a hard, hard way through which to communicate things to other people.
I didn't even actually mean to come across as being judgemental or harsh with her at all... nor did I mean to sound like I was talking down to her in a demeaning way, as if she were inferior to me and I was saying, "You dummy, don't you know you deserve more respect than that?" NO, NO, NO, I NEVER meant to sound like that, but reading my post again, I suppose that could be the message taken from it though, since you can't hear my voice or see my face at all while I say these words to her.
I too only wish ineedlove all the best, and I too also hope that she seeks out any help which she needs in order to get through all of this.
And I do also hope that she seeks out more worthy guys that deserve her attention in the future when she's ready to start seeing men romantically again.
Love And Light To Everyone!
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Harpyr
Knowflake Posts: 1047
From: sleepy little Rocky Mountain village
Registered: Dec 2002
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posted March 06, 2004 11:42 AM
okay, so this was the first time I'd checked back here since posting on ineedlove's thread and was kinda upset to find it was locked but I have to say that now that I've read this thread, it makes sense to me.  But Pid! .... *sigh*
I'd been wondering where you'd gone off to. AAAAAAAAWWWWWW You will be sorely missed! I would also really appreciate hearing just what it is that's been bugging you lately... If you wouldn't mind. IP: Logged |
Aphrodite
Moderator Posts: 3280
From: San Francisco, CA, United States
Registered: Feb 2002
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posted March 06, 2004 11:55 AM
Shawnee,I'm going to miss your sense of humor and sparkle around here. It seems that the transits we once chatted about in your chart is opening up new venues for you. I'm going to venture a guess that in the end you're going to have a whole new career that pays more money as Uranus whirls through your 6th house and Saturn has his way with you  Tons of Love and I pray for your to watch out for those Sagitarrian hooves on their trek. Love, Amy IP: Logged |
pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 1820
From: Annapolis, Maryland USA
Registered: May 2002
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posted March 06, 2004 01:25 PM
Okay, I kept it up long enough - I just don't want to leave alot of info about me concerning certain things IP: Logged |
astro junkie
Knowflake Posts: 1327
From: orlando, fl
Registered: Nov 2003
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posted March 07, 2004 03:44 PM
Hey Pidaua -I understand where you are coming from. I'm glad you came back to express what was going on cuz believe it or not, while you were being sensitive to another person's attitude, I was feeling sensitive about your abrupt exit without hearing you out first. Cuz like how f'd up is it when here I am driving to the store, and I'm thinking about Pidaua and if I've said anything that may have been a major drag on our collective experience here. As for the "lost ones" who come in here begging for help, I understand what you mean as well. Trust me... I really do... There's a few things to consider: * These people don't know what it is to have grown up with caring authoritarians in their life. So you keep flooding them with care because you never know what's going to get through their highly selective filter. * Someone may want to post as the person experiencing something just to test us out. Life is full of tests, so I just take it in stride. Assume we'll eventually bust them if that's the case. But we never really know, so again, I try to blast them with care to be on the safe side. * Sometimes we get in our own way when we try to reach out to someone. For me personally, I've noticed when my "caring" has a compulsive component to it. Like maybe I really have a lot of other things on my mind, a busy schedule, and I'm taking the time to post and the emotional energy that goes into it.... so why don't they appreciate it? Just remember how when you grew up, your elders would get a big kick out of watching you admit they were right. Same kind of thing. It happens to all of us to a degree. Some people's "caring ways" can actually be guises for a personal ego trip. We must remind ourselves that we are just one person playing out one facet of the Source's desire to prove we love one another. We cannot measure it or put time-limits or conditions on it. I know you know all of this already...  .gloria IP: Logged |
Oxychick
Moderator Posts: 2486
From: neither here nor there
Registered: Jul 2002
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posted March 10, 2004 07:14 AM
Hey Pidaua-here's hoping you're reading this. I too will miss your insight, but understand the need to take some time for oneself. Sounds like you have some major changes coming your way and I just hope that they bring you a lot of happiness. And then I hope you'll come back and share. IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 1606
From: ontario, canada
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted March 10, 2004 09:10 AM
*Seconded*IP: Logged |
Harpyr
Knowflake Posts: 1047
From: sleepy little Rocky Mountain village
Registered: Dec 2002
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posted March 10, 2004 01:18 PM
and uh.. thirded.  IP: Logged |
trillian
Moderator Posts: 1317
From: The Boundless
Registered: Mar 2003
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posted March 10, 2004 02:15 PM
You'll be sorely missed.Bright Blessings for your journey. Namaste. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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