posted March 08, 2004 03:43 AM         

Sorry, I have to vent. I have mentioned previously a certain Leo out in the West who I was involved with for many, many years...

I may not have mentioned that good little Virgo me made sure that Leo had a place to live, food to eat, and relative creature comforts while he was hell-bent on destroying himself.

Well, one year due to 911 and its influence on the tourism industry (me, being a travel agent) I found myself with a tax burden to pay out in the tune of $1600. Keeping in mind that Mr. Leo lived with me all that year, with the exception of 2 months he tried to keep his own place.....and he lost his job almost immediately after 911.

Sooooooooo I am trying to rectify the tax situation. If I declare him as my dependent, I am looking at only owing maybe 400 bucks. Considering I SUPPORTED his silly a$$ for that whole year, would you think that he would be cool with it?

OOOOOOOOOOH NO. Thats a HUGE imposition on his graces. Cut short the conversation, because he just didn't want to talk about it. God forbid after the years of "helping him out" (the only things I didn't buy were his clothes, not counting the phone bills since I have since I left CO, not counting the fact he NEVER gave ME money any of the random times HE was even employed) he could maybe cut me some slack and let me do this.

No, no, its always "Poor Leo, such a rough life and nothing ever goes right for him."

BAH!

OMG I am sooooooooo ANGRY that I wasted so much of my life on selfish man ****** . I have been "taken" by so many people in my life, and I am tired of it. My "fiancee" asked me to marry him- while in reality it was just to keep me around to help with bills until he found a better job.

Yeah, neat, huh? GREAT guy.

My best friends from high school all bailed out on a house we rented, and even tho all of our names where on all of the bills, I was first.....and ALL the collection agencies would ONLY call me. I was 19 years old, and $2000 in debt because of ****** friends. I worked 3 jobs for the next 3 years and couldn't get back into college because of the debt. One roommate moved out while I was sleeping (I worked 3rds mostly) and disappeared from the face of the Earth. A family that I lived with in CO used my information to start a utility bill....and when I tried to fix it, got stuck with the $1600 untility bill from the place I was living in (yes, the family lived in like 3 different houses) the same house where I was almost murdered by one the boarders (diagnosed schizophrenic transsexual).

ALL I have ever done is try to treat people like I would like to be treated- with respect and consideration. Obviously, this is some sort of LIFE LESSON for this cycle- because it happens ALL THE TIME.
I am so frustrated, so angry, so heartsick that I could spit.

My usual reaction is to revert to the shell. I tell myself "everyone sucks, everyone has secret agendas, everyone uses you and then throws you away."

If that's all you experience, you start believing it. But I don't WANT to believe everyone is like that. I cannot. I can handle people as a collective, but individually they exploit me. WTF do I do with myself? I am DONE cleaning up other peoples' messes.

Please advise- if you try to live your life in a spiritual, giving, accepting manner, what can you do to prevent these things? Besides turning into a hermit (which is like number 1 on my options-for-lifestyle choices) because I am entertaining revenge. I would like some justice.

Thanks to all for listening to my rant.
And, altho it seems so angry, I feel this is a better reaction than my usual- depression and suicidal thoughts. I would rather be angry than hate myself for my stupidity.

posted March 08, 2004 06:48 AM         

I'm curious, and a little unsure of a few things -- did this guy leave you? Or are you still with him? Has he found a job? You said he was keeping you around "until he found a better job".

Perhaps I can put your problem into a perspective that will remove some of your anxiety about it. How about this: no one can take advantage of you unless you let them. And unless this guy put a gun to your head, it sounds like you did things for him of your own free will. Now why should you be angry? You poured out love and money into the world, even if into an undeserving quarter. Remember karma. Bad or GOOD, it comes back. And for the same reason, you know that revenge is no good. You'll just perpetuate a chain of negative karma. And who needs that??

posted March 08, 2004 10:49 AM         

Some questions that came to mind about the tax situation that the IRS may ask you are, why was he not named as a dependant at the time of filing in 2002? Did he file taxes for 2001? Would he be willing to refile and state that he was claimed as a dependant by you for that year? Did he claim any refunds? Could he legally claim you as a dependant? (Double whammy, be careful about that one). What are the possible fees and penalties involved?

I hope this helps out in negotiating with your Leo friend.

posted March 08, 2004 01:58 PM         

I've been where you are.

Ask yourself:

If someone was doing all the things for you that you just listed as having done for someone else, how would you have immediately acted towards them or in leu of their help?

posted March 08, 2004 04:02 PM         

Meercatt the fiancee was old old stuff- not the Leo I was talking about. The ex broke off our "relationship" when I became pregnant. He was the reason I moved 1300 miles cross country, and met the Leo. I left Mr. Leo to return those 1300 miles 5 years later, and I don't really know why. I think my Higher Self commanded me too, maybe it was a Saturn Return instinct.
Many many times in the past almost 2 years I have moaned my agony about being separated from the Leo....but there is no way I would have gotten free of him without leaving. We had an obsessional, all consuming affair. He is very very dysfunctional, and I would have gone down with him, because of loyalty and "love".

I feel like such a stupid girl....

Pix yeah. You would think by now I would have learned to "play the game" with Leos. After all, my father was one!! Its really hard for me to dance around the subject and frame it right- as best done with Leos. I also am feeling the pressure of time. After this Thursday, there is a chance I wont be able to speak to Mr Leo for the next 6 months. I felt as if I had to be honest with him. (yes, I have approached this idea in the past, and he always said No, it will stop me from going to school. He is no closer to school than he was 5 years ago. And he is a felon with a drug charge. I am pretty sure he wont qualify for financial aid regardless.)

Funny thing is- and I never thought it would happen- I am forgetting about him. And its a huge relief.

Aphrodite ALL excellent points. I am not even sure if the IRS will accept him as a dependant. As of 2001 I was technically supporting him for 2 years. I left in July of 2002 and moved to my home state, leaving him unemployed and homeless. He quickly found someone else to mooch from.
I am almost 100% sure he has not filed since 1999, because that summer is when he committed a crime that could have put him in jail for life, and he was bent on destroying himself for the next few years. Only recently has he decided to try to get his life together- of course, after I left.

Astro junkie- I am not sure if I understand the question. If I knew someone who had done all these things for people- I would feel terrible for them, to have been taken advantage of. I would wonder why this person attracts these type of people to her. I could try to blame it on Nep in the 1st house and a heavily aspected Uranus, but this has all been my choice, and I accept that. I just want to get it cleaned up, and done with. I don't want these things to poison my heart, and my credit rating, for another 10 years.

Thanks for all the kind words, and a place to vent. Cheers to LL and all the wonderful people here!

posted March 08, 2004 04:34 PM         

Right off the bat he is disqualified for Federal aid (FAFSA) for school because of the felony charge. Second, tax claims going back to 2000 and 2001 won't have an impact on him being able to apply for aid because state and federal applications only ask for the previous year's income, which would be 2003 if he is applying this year.

State and tax authorities should be able to inform you on what would merit a qualified dependant. There are also deadlines on refiling, usually 1 - 3 years, depending on which form.

Good luck and keep us posted on how it goes!

posted March 08, 2004 04:55 PM         

You just can't get angry I know. Practice reading some books on self assertion, sounds corny but it worked very well for me. Hang out with Pisces people for a while to see how they operate. They are just as easy, but they give off a vibe of leave me alone! You need more time to yourself and have to set limits and boundaries.

Hang out with more women who are strong, that's MY opinion. Pisces, Aquarius, and Caps rule.

posted March 12, 2004 04:13 PM         

whew. i feel ya. as said before, tides will turn and what goes around does come around....and perhaps now that you have been seared so much you will be stronger and recognize leeches before they get to you so deeply or at all. trust your instincts. make people earn trust from you. i think you can be giving and loving and still hold your absolute trust at bay until it is 'earned'.
legal and money issues are sticky. know you are the bigger person in this situation and react humbly yet with strength and resolve. you will come out of this with your chin up. i feel it.

yes sthenri, i am flattered by your pisces women comments. i definitely put off that leave me alone vibe if someone rubs me the wrong way.