posted May 25, 2004 05:52 PM         

You know how I'm with Libra boy in England, the one I moved here to be with? Well, that's all fine. All well and good and I'm happy. But I have this thing that I always do, I get too comfy, then I run... straight to my ex... He's in America now anyways, but we've been e-mailing lately, and all those feelings are coming up, and my head is off in space... AGAIN, like it gets a lot as I am an Aqua girl, and I just don't know what I'm feeling. I'm really good friends with my ex, we always talk (or e-mail, as the case may be), and we understand each other very well. But I'm afraid when I go home to visit for a month (June 23-July 25th), we'll hang out and all that is going to come back. It's happened several times in the past, and I don't want it to, but do I? Oh, this is really confusing. I want to have him in my life forever, he's my rock and my heart and all that stuff best mates are, but can I not handle it? Will I end up doing something stupid, REALLY not meaning to? Please help, I need someone to smack me, I think. Oh, here's his stuff to get a better idea of what I'm up against.
5/24/1980
Sun Gem.
Moon Libra
Merc Gem.
Ven Can
Mars Vir
Jup Vir
Sat Vir
Ura Scorp
Nep Sag
Pluto Libra
True node Leo

Me:
1/21/1981
Sun Aqua
Moon Leo
Merc Aqua
Ven Cappy
Mars Aqua
Jup Lib
Sat Lib
Ura Scorp
Nept Sag
Pluto Lib
True node Leo

posted May 25, 2004 07:13 PM         

You said that you have done this serveral times with your Ex in the past. Why don't you think that it has ever 'stuck' before?

Just askin'

posted May 26, 2004 02:58 AM         

Thanks for the vote of confidence. There may be some aspects between you and the ex which keeps things on edge like that, almost like push-me-pull-you, as they say.

posted May 27, 2004 06:06 AM         

Pixel,
There is an immense sexual attraction between us, but not in a sexual way. That makes no sense. I'll try to explain. When we are together, there is an energy between us. Like an invisible line that connects us to each other. Sparks and all that, tingly feelings when we touch each others hands, but we don't jump into bed or anything, we just grin at each other and just know. We had a very intellectual relationship, lots ion common and still lots of mystery that kept us interested. But it just never worked out. I've just had this thought, perhaps I'm really scared to stay here, be this far away from family and friends, and not sure if I can handle it. So therefore am turning to the past to have something to keep me back home when I visit? Argh... I just don't know.

Astro,
My goals here are to come back from the states in late July and get a new job, then work towards Libra and I getting our own place and having a life together. Am I scared again? Do I possibly need to have a reassuring conversation with Libra to make me feel better about this plan? As far as the ex goes, I think if anything happened between us when I visit, it wouldn't be lasting, it would be more like ''well, we've done this before, so why not''? But that is bad, and I would not want to do that to my Libra, it's happened to me before and him as well, I've promised him I would never hurt him, and I couldn't do something and then keep it a secret. That would be morally and ethically wrong. I can't see me being able to be around him without having difficulty, so maybe I should just stay away from him?...

posted May 27, 2004 09:28 AM         

You're not crazy, however loving someone can make your life seem so!

I have not spoken to you before although I sense your pain and confusion and hope that some understanding helps

I know all too well how soul connections have an immense effect on us, although they may not always be best to sleep with - and the attraction is overwhelming - especially when you lose them, think you're gonna lose them, or confused about them.

In this circumstance, I think Aphrodite might be right and look into why you're confused. It is good that you ask others since you need a sounding board, but perhaps take more time to look into yourself, regardless of how painful it may be If you ask you shall receive! Take time out and ask your spiritual guides. You will get the answer all around you, though you may not want to accept it's pain. Then when you know yourself a bit better, look for the next lesson - maybe with a good spiritual guide?

God bless Sthenri - she's directing help my way too, maybe ask?

I wish you the best. Remember if you are in England, I'm not too far away!

With love,
Special

posted May 27, 2004 07:07 PM         

Good luck ghanima81

posted May 28, 2004 06:33 AM         

Pixel, I'm not sure the synastry, I'm fairly new to the chart reading thing. I just know what I've read so far. Apparently there is a very strong connection between us, and there will be lasting love, but not nessecarily as a couple. And also we will go through many break-up/back-together phases in our lives. Been there, done that. The connection is pretty intense, but you're right, I am here for a reason. I think if we try, we will be able to be friends that can hang out together. Hopefully, it won't be as painful as it has been in the past.

posted May 28, 2004 10:57 AM         

It is hectic, but kinda worth it and has made me stronger - after I thought nothing could break me emotionally again - silly me!

But yeah, we are all human with spiritual insight, if we'll allow it to shine through - think about what advice you'd give to yourself, since you're the one that truly knows you and has your best interests at heart!

Pixie you're so clever

And hi Kim - not spoken to you before!

Sp x