posted June 02, 2004 06:44 AM         

He was a perfect gentleman, and of course I was not that perfect, but instead flirted non stop.

I am glad I chose to wear what I did, lace tops and stretch velvet because he really likes that stuff having a Cancer Venus. He prefers the softer side of my clothing.

I have found he is a great dancer, a great and fast cook, sensitive and funny.

He made me dinner, pasta and sausage, and I brought music and candles. One thing that bothered me was a slight controlling tendency in terms of how things are, and if I can go for a walk by myself. He seemed a little concerned if I wanted a breather, which is normal in two days.

He is a car freak of course, he is a man.
He is a little cheap but then he is a Gemini and a man, but I told him I will never pay for dinner so we can get that out of the way.

We are planning a vacation together this fall.

The Cancer ex wants couples counseling for "closure" and she wants a year, he said no way. But he is going out of guilt to get things right, since he thinks he is responsible. She doesn't want to move out of his house, which he owns, and doesn't want to give up his car, or anything else.

My attitude is give her a month to leave. I am sure she will pressure him with guilt and try for a relationship again. I can't believe she would ask for a year! The end finally came when I emailed him and signed it Love, I knew she might see it, Also I called several times and asked for him and she answered. I made sure she knew I was irritated with her. After that she finally confronted him and then he moved out. He was already living with his sister but now he won't step foot back in the house with her there, and she knows about me. Thank God.

I was starting to feel sorry for her, but I don't really because it's obvious she isn't jealous and doesn't care about what he does, she has her own life too. She only cares about the material things and having her life rearranged by someone else. That's very petty and since I am dealing with another woman who is controlling and petty I have no sympathy.

Anyway he has rented a temp place to figure things out and he is coming to stay with me in my new place for two weeks in June, then he will be at his sisters or aunt's until the Cancer "decides" to leave. Of course, it will have to be forced, and he is not good at confrontation. I suggested he only talk to her through their counselor and use that time to work on ending her time with him, rather than "closure".

Of course I will have to do something again, I will call her and ask her to leave if it comes to that, because Cancers hate confrontation more than anything. She is unclear on reality at this point.

And I am too, I know I am falling for the Gemini so I am trying to keep my heart in check. I do not want to live with someone again, so he will always have to keep his own place.

That's the update, it's romantic and we get along well, plus the kisses are intense and the best I've ever had. And that's saying something.

Must be his Pisces ascendant,

posted June 02, 2004 09:03 AM         

Could this be "the one"?

I never understood how people take over someone else's house, or how people have trouble telling someone to get out of their house! That's amazing to me.

posted June 02, 2004 09:13 AM         

He has told me he loves me but only when kissing, so that doesn't count. I am not capable of being doubt-free but I hold him to the same degree of trust I give him. For me I have found that my trust is harder to give than I would like and he is finding that I am a lot harder than I look, which is beyond my control (8th house moon).

Still, he is a great cook, sensitive and sweet, and a great dancer, very sexy, affectionate, warm, good at kissing my neck, nuzzling in movie theaters, gives me massages, and has a thing for kissing my feet.

So I would say I have it pretty good right now, I won't milk it, just relax and be playful with it. I like running on the beach with me, playing with him, wrestling with him, that kind of thing. As long as it stays true, and trustful but playful I will be happy. I told him I don't want any miserable people in my life right now and that seemed to spark him.

I truly have only known two other really affectionate men and they were both Pisces, so the Pisces ascendant and Venus in Cancer both trine Neptune have a lot to do with it.

He is a pretty serious Gemini with moon in Taurus and Saturn conjunct ascendant so I take heart.

Plus we have Pluto and Neptune in the 8th so it feel intense. He said our kisses are the most intense kisses he's ever had.

I plan to protect myself, but you know how seductive a Gemini can be. I let him know I am careful about myself if you know what I mean. He of course if all for total commitment but I have to play as if this is short term. I don't want money or sex to play a part in a breakup.

posted June 02, 2004 11:27 AM         

Love and trust, I really know where you're coming from there. They are synonymous to me too. Here's hoping the summer brings more pleasureable surprises
So, I know you said before, but what day is his b-day? Tony's is coming up on the 18th.

Cancer-ex sounds like a baggage of the worst kind, sorry to say. She is really taking this way too seriously, I mean, it's not as if he married her, or anything. I know couples nowadays often live in "common-law marriage" for long periods of time, but for all I know about people with as many water plaecments as he seems to have, if he really meant to settle down with her, he woulda put the ring on her finger...if ya get my drift.
So, I respect your need to keep separate space, cause if he sees a future in this, hhe'll wanna make it legal sooner or later, and best if he doesn't settle into the same transitory permanency as he did last time. You guys sound so great for each other, and I wish you the best of luck!

posted June 02, 2004 12:38 PM         

He likes that I am making it myself, so that's cool.
Not that I plan on being domestic after this, if he can't take me out to dinner I will not sit home every night. I want this relationship to be more than sitting on the couch (sex and food).

Yes I didn't like something about the Cancer at the start and I was not trying to pick up the Gemini, he was my friend. Yes no living with me in La La land, that's for sure.

Natasha
Taurus

posted June 02, 2004 01:07 PM         

"One thing that bothered me was a slight controlling tendency in terms of how things are, and if I can go for a walk by myself. He seemed a little concerned if I wanted a breather, which is normal in two days."

Made me wonder if that is a Venus in Cancer thing. My Taurus sometimes gets like that - in that there was one little spat we had about him wanting to know something I felt was too personal to share. He then said he felt like I was keeping a secret. Finally, I said "I don't want to do down this path. I will talk to you later" I ended the call with "I love you". What I didn't know was that it sent him into a panic. He thought I was going to emotionally distance myself. I just needed to get away for a bit to think about the issue.

I do love how affectionate and tender Venus in Cancer is though. This is the first time I have felt inclined to want to be affectionate with someone and I enjoy the cuddling.

posted June 02, 2004 01:34 PM         

He was confused. He continued to live with the Cancer, although miserable he was taking longer to look for a place.

When I told him by hugging and kissing him and looking him straight in the eye and saying, yes I need him and want him in my life and didn't want him to go back home to the Cancer, he moved out. I thought I had made it clear later, but looking back I had been cool, unemotional and even a little bit of a superficial flirt. He was in shock that my feelings that were that deep. I thought he was playing it cool but instead he was just really nervous around me.

Once I realized that he was very hurt and miserable by my attitude and he showed it I was able to get really emotionally close to him. I'm sorry now I had to drive him to that because it's clear he doesn't like being that vulnerable.

The Cancer made some motions towards kissing him and being with him again a few weeks ago and he came to me about it, actually I asked what was wrong and he was honest with me. And instead of being sensitive I blew up at him. It wasn't his fault and since I was totally undecided on him he had no idea I was going to blow up.

I realized then I needed to "get sensitive" not easy for Venus in Aries. and tune in to what I want.

Pidua, I think it's normal as you get older to be really clear about what you need, but we all get more suspicious too. Venus in Cancer isn't very suspicious and then suddenly feels vulnerable somehow all of a sudden. It's just a more emotional placement than Venus in Sag or Aries.

He says I make him feel vulnerable and then I want to hug him. He doesn't get that he can trust me totally yet I think. It's scary in a way because he DOES trust me totally, he is more vulnerable than he thinks and so I draw back. I have learned to trust that I can be okay for him and then he doesn't try to cling, because I am not drawing back without reason.

Luckily with him, he really isn't that clingy so far, he seems to have a good network of friends and interests and likes to feel like he is fun. Otherwise if he was clingy we would both be miserable. Before I would settle for miserable and together but now I won't.

If you draw back, they will cling, if you cling, they will draw back, that's the nature of romance. It's like walking a line, I try to be sensitive and just keep in touch every week to hear about his feelings, that way we both get what we need.

He says he never knows my state of mind, and likes it better when I am moody and deep so now I tell him more of what I am feeling not what I can do or can't do with him. And I tell him when I want more practical information.

How is your Venus in Sag working with Venus in Cancer? He is affectionate though right:>

posted June 02, 2004 01:38 PM         

And they are worried sometimes about their appearance when every Sag I know looks great. Truthfully I admire both Geminis and Sags for being incredibly brilliant and talented. They make the Taurus feel like a grass eating mammal.

The Taurus can learn a lot from from Geminis, and Sags.

posted June 02, 2004 02:06 PM         

My Venus in Sag dearly loves his Venus in Cancer. Admittingly, this affection is something I always looked for, but was too afraid to feel. He has brought me out of my shell and I find myself being very touch oriented with him. Even sleeping, I could hardly sleep with another person touching me - with him, I can't get enough of it.

He has called me on that "vague future" thing though. Because I try to speak in terms that won't fence either of us in, you know, in case it doesn't work out. LOL..but he is so solid about "us" and talks in terms of "we", "us" etc...it is very resassuring.

I do love the earthiness and sensuality of the Taurus though. I can't believe I overlooked it before, or maybe I hadn't met a Taurus in that way before. Then again, I wouldn't have wished my immature Sag days on a Taurus, not that he was an angel LOL..

I also misjudged the Taurus sense of humor. I didn't realize just how funny and outgoing you all really are (He also has Mercury in Gemini). I also didn't realize just HOW MUCH you all love food. LOL. I am happy though that he doesn't make me feel guilty for not eating everything on my plate. The leo did that - you know waste not want not - but I like to pick and eat slow...LOL

Umm, yeah I can't speak for Gem's but I do agree that we Saggies can be a bit vain. He does appreciate how I dress and keep myself up, but he does rib me a bit about how much time it takes. He says 'You are so beautiful, why do you need to go through all the fuss, I see you first thing in the morning and you are still the most beautiful woman I have known'.

posted June 03, 2004 12:16 PM         

He asked me if I'm sorry we went down that road, and honestly sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not it changes depending on our moods. I love having a male friend too. I hope I find a good male friend to hang out with in Montreal who wants to be a friend only. I am pretty jealous of the Gemini now, so I have to watch myself.

In therapy after my breakup with the Libra, I was talking about him and one woman leaned over to me and said, HE"S A LOSER!!!!!!
That pretty much destroyed my confidence in getting back together with him! Sometimes I think other people see me better, so if I describe him and anyone thinks he is being bad for me, please let me know, I want to know!

Natasha