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Author
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Topic: Sex is the question. Yes is the answer
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lioneye68
Knowflake Posts: 5827
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003
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posted July 23, 2004 01:49 PM
 
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.Men get laid, but women get screwed. When a guy goes to a hooker, he's not paying her for sex, he's paying her to leave. When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute. Life in a small town taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love. If you use a vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time. Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and
we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way
I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere
near our optic nerve. Conservatives say teaching sex education in the public schools will promote promiscuity. With our education system? If we promote sexuality the same way we promote math or science, they've got nothing to worry about. Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five.
Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time. When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows. The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with a light on. I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.
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Yin
Knowflake Posts: 1245
From:
Registered: May 2004
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posted July 23, 2004 03:54 PM
Who wrote this?IP: Logged |
lioneye68
Knowflake Posts: 5827
From: Canada
Registered: Apr 2003
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posted July 23, 2004 04:53 PM
I dunno, exactly, but I think it's a compilation of one-liners about sex, by several different people, most likely comedians.It was an email I got. IP: Logged |
trillian
Knowflake Posts: 3948
From: The Boundless
Registered: Mar 2003
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posted July 24, 2004 03:17 PM
 Thanks Lioneye, I needed that.  IP: Logged |
pidaua
Knowflake Posts: 6033
From: Arizona - Moving to Germany to be with Bear the Leo
Registered: May 2002
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posted July 26, 2004 02:55 PM
hee hee..I copied and pasted it to my Taurus  IP: Logged |
Motherkonfessor
Knowflake Posts: 639
From:
Registered: Oct 2003
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posted November 11, 2006 04:48 AM
****bumpety bumpety bump bump!!!***I like to whittle away the long long hours of November darkness by reading old posts. Soul Unions USED to be alot more fun.. IMHO. Everybody got married and had babies 
(nothing wrong with babies, of course... its just that sex really isn't so pressing of a topic when a person is covered in spit up and the spittee is screaming) This made me laugh....
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Azalaksh
Knowflake Posts: 3243
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004
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posted November 11, 2006 12:24 PM
quote:
Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and
we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way
I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere
near our optic nerve.
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sue g
Knowflake Posts: 6920
From: former land of the leprechaun
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted November 11, 2006 01:50 PM
Haha...!!!I agree MK....more fun, more sex please!!! xxx IP: Logged |
lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 1614
From: nevada
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted November 11, 2006 03:11 PM
why is the truth so funny?? quote:
If you use a vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time.
this reminds me of my grandfather who didn't speak very good english, he would tell us "come on, go on" IP: Logged |
Kamilla
Knowflake Posts: 693
From: NJ USA
Registered: Apr 2006
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posted November 12, 2006 03:44 AM
Quote:
"..men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them"This is great sounds like a title for a bestseller. May be we can write one IP: Logged |
Mama Mia
Knowflake Posts: 1479
From:
Registered: Jun 2005
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posted November 13, 2006 02:55 PM
Did someone mention sex in the morning..Its my favorite time to have it.. IP: Logged |
aqua inferno
Knowflake Posts: 43
From: body‘s in the office, brain’s in the sky
Registered: Oct 2006
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posted November 14, 2006 04:47 PM
quote:
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
dude!! that’s my mantra!!!
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aka WaterNymph
pisces/virgo/pisces/aquarius/aries/aries
- member of the sun sign reject club - but still loved *hopes* IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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