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Author
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Topic: advice
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louisville78
Knowflake Posts: 15
From: Louisville, Kentucky, United States
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted July 30, 2004 09:40 PM
 
Maybe this is a little out of the ordinary, but I have had a crappy couple of days. I decided to finally lay it all out on the line with the guy I have been flirting with at work. I finally became tired of other people asking me if we were dating. I was very matter of fact and basically told him I enjoyed the witty banter and flirtatiousness either way, but that I would like to know if I am being honest or not when I tell others nothing is going on. Unfortunately my braveness only comes in spurts, and the only way to get it out and ensure that it would be heard was to send an e-mail since he was out of the office surveying all the companies properties. Our e-mail system notifies us when our e-mail has been opened by the recipient. It took him a day and a half after he had read it to bring it back up and answer me. In the meantime, he had acted as if nothing had every happened. We played volleyball together and everything. Same banter, affectionate nature, wise-cracking jokes... This afternoon I was in his office going over contracts and he asked me to shut the door. This is all he said "I got your e-mail, I'm flattered, but no, I didn't mean to give you that impression. Do I need to say something to whomever is asking you those questions?" I answered no, that I had taken care of it. He asked again to see if I was sure. I repeated no and got up to leave. As I was walking out, he stopped me and said, "So...are we okay?" I answered yes and he smiled the same smile as always and said good. One would think that someone would change their interactions if they were being misinterpreted. But no, I spent all day trying to appease him because he wouldn't stop hunting me down to joke around with me. Our interactions are so natural and easy that its hard to not be the way we have always been. The final straw was when I caught him staring at me from across the room when I was talking to another coworker. We made eye contact for awhile and just looked at each other. I finally just turned away and walked off. I know that I need to curb my interactions with him mainly because alot of my attraction stems from our ability to relate to each other so easily. I am going to try and tame down the jokes and unnecessary comments, as well as back off. Unfortunately, something tells me he won't handle this well. Not really my problem, but times in the past when we have had disagreements, he just about fell over himself until everything was right again. I need suggestions PLEASE! I am a Taurus, with Sag. moon, Cap. rising, Venus in Taurus. He is a Virgo, with Gemini moon, Scorpio rising, Venus in Virgo. My venus and sun fall into his seventh house and his venus and sun fall into my seventh house. Also my venus and sun are conjunct his DESC. So on and so forth...IP: Logged |
astro junkie
Knowflake Posts: 3334
From: orlando, fl
Registered: Nov 2003
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posted July 30, 2004 10:06 PM
Wow - those are interesting aspects you two have. But if he said no, then it's no. If you back off from joking around with him, he's only going to think the only reason you were like that was because you were expecting something from him. The truth is, you DO have the upper hand over him because you could crush him. You are the tougher one, and he knows it. You do not appreciate being led on, and it's no wonder he's such a joker fluttering here and there with that Virgo Sun with a Gemini Moon. I've dated one of those before, and trust me, he won't even begin to grow up or understand love until he's past his 30's. He probably has no conscience when it comes to f'ing with your mind, or anyone else's for that matter. You have interesting aspects, and I could be totally wrong, but just consider that you two could be completely different breeds. ------------------
it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness... IP: Logged |
louisville78
Knowflake Posts: 15
From: Louisville, Kentucky, United States
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted July 30, 2004 10:22 PM
To make matters worse, I am friends with his sister and his mom. He is older than me by about 10 years. Everything you said makes sense. Things just seem to have become very intertwined and I need to pull back so that I don't get sucked under. We have become very protective of each other at work and very in tune with each others moods. In fact half the reason I asked him to begin with was because about five different people commented on how he treats me so incredibly differently than anyone else he interacts with in the office. I just didn't look before I became so close with this person. Our company has a VERY strict policy against management dating anyone at work. I don't want to ostracize him, but I am admittedly a little miffed about his reaction to my question. I didn't see that coming at all. I had mentally prepared myself for any answer, but the signs just didn't seem to be pointing that way.IP: Logged |
Gemini Nymph
Knowflake Posts: 85
From:
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted July 30, 2004 10:28 PM
Haven't you already asked us for advice on this relationship? Sorry if this is blunt, but I'm not sure what you expect to get out of us here. What exactly do you want? Personally I'm sticking by what I said before about this guy - that this a typical "rebound" flirtation, that he's probably confused about what he whats and the both of you are a bit deluded (again sorry to be so blunt) about each other, thanks to your Neptune aspects. And those 7th house aspects may look promising, but if you keep pressuring this guy openly or passive-aggressively, this can turn into a very hostile situation, as the 7th house is a powerful house that rules both partnerships and enemies. What you described here now gives makes me more confidence in my previous assessment. My (also blunt) suggestion: snap out of it! Stop trying to think you're going to get somewhere with someone this obviously confused and conflicted. Chances are this guy needs years of therapy and to move several states away from his ex(s). And it looks like you're getting yourself in an emotional rut over this, as Tauri have a bad habit of doing in no-win emotional situations, thinking somehow you can force the outcome you want. But you can't force people to your will, and Tauri often have a hard time accepting that. So again, I'll tell you that you're probably better off just to savage your sanity and dignity at this point and move on. I know that's not what you want to hear, but hey, I just don't think there's any reason for you to get so hung up over this guy. IP: Logged |
louisville78
Knowflake Posts: 15
From: Louisville, Kentucky, United States
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted July 30, 2004 10:35 PM
You know what, now I am angry. If you had been reading you would have seen that I was asking for advice on how to do just that, but instead you jumped all over me and assumed that I was asking for ways to win him over. I wasn't. I was asking for ideas on how to extract myself from the situation without ruining the work environment. I just thought someone might have some bright ideas. But ever since I began to post anything on this site, you have been nothing but down my throat and rude. Thanks for making me not want to come back.IP: Logged |
astro junkie
Knowflake Posts: 3334
From: orlando, fl
Registered: Nov 2003
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posted July 31, 2004 01:09 AM
Louisville -I honestly think GeminiNymph is just being a bit enthusiastic with advice, and I'm not taking sides at all, but remember here's a Gemini who may have some insight here as well, since the guy has Moon in Gemini. Gemini's and people with Gemini influences are going through some maddening challenges right now, just calm this down a little bit. I have no problem with the way you phrased your question, Louisville. You have every right to this public forum. And as "blunt" as GeminiNymph is being Louisville, you have to admit if you take a step back you will realize it's ultimately because she CARES about you getting hurt. Can you see that? OK - so she's a little impatient. Typical Gemini. Hopefully she will see that you are a little more emotional and vulnerable right now, and to go a little easier on you. As for you being involved with his family, and the whole "intertwined" thing, as the famous saying goes, "Familiarity breeds contempt." The Virgo is just like that Joker in a deck of cards. Don't give him more power than he actually has. You can crush him and he's smitten with you because of that, not to mention, he likes girls he can pal around with. Don't hold all these emotions inside. Take some time to yourself away from everything and don't sweat the small stuff. Give yourself a chance to reframe all of this so you can progress. Then I'm sure you'll ground yourself and be able to say what you want to say to him and the others so they RESPECT your desire to remain professional and respectful back. When you're ready to do the hard work, really stop and ask yourself what was the FEELING you were hoping to have with this guy. Once you pinpoint that, you will begin to understand the place all this frustration is coming from. PS: Don't leave us! .gloria ------------------
it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness... IP: Logged |
sthenri
Moderator Posts: 1820
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003
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posted August 02, 2004 06:13 PM
Louisville, I remember your situation. I am a Taurus too, with a Cancer moon and Gemini/Mercury/7th house. I know Gemini moons very well, I have been married to two, one with venus in virgo, and one with venus in pisces. Both were very careful to maintain their emotions, meaning they liked to control the emotions in a room.If they were ever put into a position that didn't originate from themselves, they were quick to be noncommital, that is to commit to having emotions on the subject. This allows time to think. It's a little unnerving, if you are not used to it.
But Gemini moons do not like anyone to control their emotions or even guess them. So you can see where your co-worker would pick up on your moods instantly and try to work with you in such a way where he can predict your every action. Your moods are transparent as an earth sign, with a fire moon and he finds security in that. However, the reason is to hide things, rather than talk about them. He will never admit his feelings, he will expect you to do that for him, as he wants to live his life through your moods. He is into managing and controlling details, not understanding people. This placement does not make a very good psychologist, so much for Freud. Freud was an analyst, or a people person. With your moon and sun, your most important planets you need to nourish yourself with relationships that have warmth and energy. Life giving, life affirming energy is what you need, and right now your co-worker is sucking it right out of you. Do not appease him, treat him just how you want to, if you are angry show it, be abrupt. You have nothing to lose since people will see how professonial you are. Yes Gloria, she has the power but it doesn't mean that she believes there is a problem. To me it looks like a classic case of overcompensating for other's problems, and Louisville is working too hard at the office, that's all. The Gemini moon is leaning on her hard, and it would be too easy for him to ask her to do more work, her subconcious is being threatened and her boundaries lowered, so her self esteem will suffer eventually. Not a position of power, but a position of possible power abuse, the Taurus wants a balance at all costs, be aware of how easy it is to manipulate that and you will understand why Taureans can be unapproachable sometimes. Natasha
Taurus IP: Logged |
sthenri
Moderator Posts: 1820
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003
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posted August 02, 2004 06:24 PM
I was inspired to find a poem about my Gemini moon ex's but I couldn't, so I turned to Lou Reed who as usual has some dark stuff to say.Sorry but it's true:>
*Turn to Me* If you gave up major vices
You're between a hard place and a wall
And your car breaks down in traffic
On the street
Remember, i'm the one who loves you
You can always give me a call
Turn to me, turn to me
Baby, turn to me When your teeth are ground down to the bone
And there's nothing between your legs
And some friend died of something
That you can't pronounce, ah
Remember, i'm the one who loves you
Hey baby, you can always give me a call
Turn to me, turn to me
Turn to me You can't pay your rent, your boss is an idiot
And your apartment has no heat
And your wife says, "maybe
It's time to have a child"
Remember, i'm the one who loves you
And you can always give me a call
Turn to me, turn to me
Turn to me When it's all too much you turn the tv set on
And light a cigarette
And then a public service announcement
Comes creeping on
And you see a lung corroding
Or a fatal heart attack
Turn to me, turn to me
Baby, turn to me, i'm just a phone call away Turn to me, turn to me
Hey, turn to me, one .... a dollar
Turn to me, baby
Turn to me
(turn to me, turn to me
Turn to me)
(turn to me, turn to me
Turn to me) Natasha IP: Logged | |
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