posted August 16, 2004 06:39 PM         

We meet on the other side of the world and had the same dream of living in the mountains, growing our own food, building our own bath in ceramic. We meet independently on the same spot of the street 3 times and I felt like the universe guided us together. I just knew I had to visit him, as his childlike eyes looked frightening on me asking if he would see me again. I went to his country and help him on his farm for 2 months. Before this we talked hours on the phone with perfect communication. Sharing one dream after the other.

Wow, the man of my dreams I whispered to myself our first amazing week on the beach. Reality came quickly and we went to his beautiful farm. Consisting of a dirty camping wagon a small veggie garden, 20 bee boxes and acre of beans. His first year as a farmer. More than I ever dreamed of and I came home, really home.

After 3 days my sensitivity could feel he had expectations of me so I locked myself completely (aqua freedom taken away by someone expecting something something from me) and feel deeply in love with him. So there I was in a strange country unable to make any action, not speaking to much and not able to show myself.

I felt he expected me to make bread out of nothing and a fireplace. To know everything about herbs around the area. To talk his language after 14 days!??! Blabla. Im just a girl loving the nature, wanting to learn and live on a farm, Im not an educated farmer nor a ground-wise mountain girl.

Questions: Is it typical cancer to correct other people or is it just aqua’s (my brother cancer, do the same thing) they don’t understand?

An Aquarius in love can be too much serving I guess and I worked on the farm all day. Soo happy, could not stop putting seeds in the ground or turning the soil, giving water, petting his dog, washing his clothes, making dinner, coffee. I LOVE IT !!! But never a thank you, never a bravo, but ok I was happy. And I thought I could love him forever.

I felt he saw 10% of what I am. Constantly correcting me. The love went cooler and cooler and after 2 weeks he had to go back to his old work and upon that the farm work. I understood and helped him the best I could. The days he worked I spent with his mother learning knittings, coffees with his sister in law and learned the art of clay at his best friends pottery. Im an artist by nature and had more than enough fun to occupy myself with during his busy days. So complaining was never in my mind.

But my main interest was to make him happy, to be a good woman on his side. To be understanding, a good listener and not asking for anything during his extremely busy days.

But nothing seemed to be good enough. After one month he did not touch me anymore nor gave me attention at all. Sweetly I asked why his kisses had gone so expensive…he freaked saying he had no time to think of us at all!

I was in pain after this. I lost myself completely not able to bloom. I cried secretly and tried my best to be more patient. After 6 weeks back on the farm, him not talking nor listening to me for days I told him: I love everything about this place, you family, you friends and I could live here forever, but I don’t think I come back because it is no good between us now. He responded quickly: we better be friends only. I have no time for a relationship now and it was bad timing. Maybe I want a girl from the mountains. Or maybe I don’t want a woman at all. Me??? What am I doing here then. Taking a 2 month break from work?

The last week when I said A, he said B was right, when I said B, A was the answer. I came on the aeroplane after a cold goodbye and “maybe we see each other one day”. It broke my heart completely and I cried the whole trip home thinking I am nothing, I don’t know nothing, what do I do with my life.

In the arms of my girlfriend she told me after 3 sentences: but girl, this man is paranoid/psychopathic! This is not different cultures nor the speech of a mountain man she said.

Anyway, now I wonder if the capability of Cancer and Aqua is really bad. Recently I have had more cancerians flirting with me and I feel this strong sexual and emotional attraction back. But now I’m afraid. Psychopathic or just a very bad mix?

I feel like the universe played me a huge joke. Bringing two dreamers together and crashing the whole story into a black hole.

During the trip I sometimes thought his sharp tongue against me was based on unsure ness about my feelings for him. My strong and clever energy which he just had to bring down. Or did he really have strong feelings for me…I dunno and am so confused. I don’t want to stamp him as psycho. I just want to love him, true and clean even as a friend.

Thanks for listening and if anyone have an opinion, please tell!

Me: 15.02.1976 - 07.23 morning
Him: 30.06.1973 – time dunno

posted August 16, 2004 07:09 PM         

I relate the feeling of wanting to be a friend to someone who is unhappy, but your ex boyfriend is unhappy with himself, and you can't fix it.

Other Cancers are not normally bad, but do a reading with an astrologer before going on an overnight trip with a man again,

posted August 16, 2004 08:28 PM         

Cancers tend to be extremely insecure, and they don't like unexpected surprises. They have a hard time coping with the fact the world isn't prefect, often seeing it as "unsafe" or even scary. Cancer men especially are prone to idealize women as "helpmates" or security blankets, and have a notorious rep (often deserved) of looking for a mother substitute in the women they date (Cancer men who are complete mooma' boys are NOT uncommon too). They also have a rep for refusing to accept disappointment in relationships, letting a bad or near-dead relationship limp on in agony rather than confront the matter. They do NOT like it when women have an independant streak - it'll make them neurotic, fretting over when you'll abandon them. The more you press for your space, the tighter they'll cling. They can be very controlling when they get clingy - being sarcastic in one of their common tactics. Condescension is another. In fact, they can be downright mean and vindicative to "loved ones" when the loved one doesn't do what they want, and they are as bad as any water sign whe it comes to emotional blackmail. (The constant correcting sounds like Virgo or even Aqua trait - but there's no certain Virgo or Aqua in his Chart from what I can assess with the incomplete data - he does have Aries Mars, which could make him quite nasty, demanding and perhaps verbally abusive if he's emotionally distressed or pressured...or disturbed.)

It'd take a very mature and secure Cancer man to deal respectfully with an air woman. Otherwise it's like, well water and air - two completely seperate spheres that can relate, but not easily or without effort. "Nice" astrologers like to make Cancers out to be nice, sensitive, caring people - they can be, as attested by my two closest friends, both Cancers. But like every sign, they have they weaknesses, and often with Cancers, those weaknesses come to light in relationships, because they're a water sign and emotional issues are where they are most vulnerable. A clue to figuring out how "healthy" a Cancer is, is to check out their emotional network - their close friends and family. Cancers are highly dependant upon these close relationships, and they are essentially as healthy as their relationships. Be particularly cautious of Cancers that are loners by their own choice or have otherwise socially isolated themselves - that's never a good sign with Cancers, who really need to have a family, be it of bloodkin or friends, to be healthy and happy.

posted August 16, 2004 09:02 PM         

Listen to what Gemini Nymph said about most Cancer men and how they relate to us Aqua's: not too well. We are too free spirited and they need constant security, which comes across as having control issues. I had a roommate once who was a Cancer man, desperately in love with a Libra friend of ours. (another air sign). He claimed that he loved her, but he smothered her, and often got into fights with her when she even looked in the direction of a man, and she was only his FRIEND. He was a sweet guy, but not in any matter pertaining to her, he was grumpy, moody, and bitter towards her constantly. He yelled at her about how much she was hurting him, when he had begged her to remain friends after she told him she didn't return the feelings. Get the idea? Not all Cancer men are like this, but from your story, it seems you may have found one.

And there is nothing wrong with you, my dear. You are idealistic and believe in amazing things others may see as impossible. That is a beautiful trait, but from this experience you must grow and perhaps curb that tug in your heart to dance with the stars next time. Just use a little more caution...

Welcome to LindaLand, I hope you stick around. You will love it!!

posted August 17, 2004 03:24 AM         

I will follow you advises and yes Pidua my family get really frustrated with me beeing so unscared and jumping into something I know nothing of. But I did take a partnership report at astro.com that whare superb!

Anyway soon back to you to find out more about myself. Not easy to always understand the Aqua nature either, especially whan Iw lost myself completely in the name of my art....

posted August 17, 2004 09:21 PM         

But there are plenty of women who leave-men alone emotionally, physically, or just forget to make dinner one too many times.

Everyone has their breaking point and some do not have the resources to be in a relationship,

Once a person gets back to center, they sometimes do make a better mate.

Better to have your ex lover love someone else the right way then treat you badly,
not to mention he could be secretly gay or trying to find himself!

Once you are reasonably centered, someone else will pop up in an elevator and make your day,

posted August 18, 2004 06:16 AM         

Can you be the mother of my children?

I feel a lot better now...and realize that he was not right for me at all. I was in love with the illusion of a symphatic mountain man. I too did mistakes, I thought he was some one else, someone for me...I expected something and I should not do so.

Yes getting my power back, new flat, doing my art and are happy to be free!