Lindaland
  Soul Unions
  How dose it feel? a rant page..

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   How dose it feel? a rant page..
virgo
Knowflake

Posts: 107
From: neverland
Registered: Jan 2004

posted August 23, 2004 04:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for virgo     Edit/Delete Message
edit...

IP: Logged

sthenri
Moderator

Posts: 2081
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003

posted August 23, 2004 10:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
You are unhappy about more than a first kiss, you are angry and curious about growing up and a kiss is just part of that experience.

A kiss doesn't change you in anyway, it doesn't alter your reality or your existence one iota. You are still the same person with the same problems, you are judged differently that's all. so the feelings inside remain the same, the anticipation, the expectation, the worry if someone likes you or not? Even if someone who says he loves you kisses you a thousand times you will never feel differently until some major event happens.

That's reality, no amount of kisses can replace the insecurity that comes with being young and starting out in life, and all kisses are the SAME.

Young men kiss the same as old men, and they all mean the same thing. They are never better, or worse, they are over in a second and they mean I like you that's all. No love is promised in a kiss, and no promise is made in any bed either.

All you can do is kiss many people who you really like you can never expect anything back not for sure.

The heart is judged by who and how many loves you, not who you love so in the end it's how you feel when you are with someone not what you do or who he is.

Example
I dated a very famous guy once, who will remain nameless,
his kisses were ordinary and didn't feel any different than kisses I felt when I was 10 from anyone else. Romantic kisses are no different until you feel different with a person.

If you feel that a guy is pretty ordinary honestly, you will feel his kiss is ordinary too. When you feel you are with someone who really makes you feel different than usual, then his kiss will feel like a real kiss. Only then. It could take a while, you have got to search for it.

Respect helps, the more a man respects you, the better his kisses are, the reason is because he really cares and you can feel it in his kiss.

Really good kisses last until you want to let go and include a big hug and squeeze. Romantic kisses come with an I love you eventually, otherwise they are just friendly kisses. You can't really tell is someone is in love with you by their kiss, no matter how intimate.

Intimacy is no guarantee of love, or even of liking someone, cause people experiment on you.

Make sure you get one who feels like he is not experimenting anymore and really feels something for you.

You can always change your mind and stop kissing in the middle if you don't feel he is working at it and say it's not working, no thank you.

If a guy is pushy for more than he isn't going to treat you like you are special.

Once you find someone who treats you like you are special, even if he is ordinary looking, give him a try, he may be a fabulous kisser.

Virgos and Earth women come off as very together already so most men can't believe they haven't been kissed, for that reason they are intimidated. You will have to do what most Earth women do, make the first move-and then let things fall into place. Don't think you have to work that hard.

A wink, a pat on the back, subtle is easy, and men are ALWAYS looking for clues, cues, to see if you are interested. Trust me, men are always watching you, at every age.

Give a wink, and smile and see what happens,

Natasha
Taurus

IP: Logged

LibraSparkle
Moderator

Posts: 1757
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004

posted August 23, 2004 03:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LibraSparkle     Edit/Delete Message
Hi virgo

First of all, I'd like to adress the fact that you're a Virgo. My 15 year old sister is a Virgo, and you are much better behaved than she. Let's just say that about a year ago we had a talk and ever since, I've been taking her to Planned Parenthood regularly for B/C.

The guys you pick (from the couple you mentioned here) don't seem to be good enough, really. Women with broken pickers should really stay single for a while, IMO. Women must be very careful to not get caught up in codependent relationships. Often, women wrap their identity up in their man. You're keeping sight of yourself, and I think that's awesome!

How does it feel to have a boyfriend?

Really, it depends on the guy. For instance, these two guys you mentioned... I doubt it would have been all happy feely, lovey dovey. There would have been some serious issues there.

Having someone to love and love you back can be the most warm and wonderful feeling you'll ever know, but on the flip side.. that person can also hurt you more than you know. They hold your heart and have the power to make it beat wildly, or cry painfully.

Being loved is wonderful. Nothing compares to it, but first you must love yourself enough to pick a guy worthy of your love.

I suggest that you might have some self loving to work on... and self learning. You are in a place in your life where the real *you* is just starting to immerge to you. Learn all about that wonderful woman before you bother yourself with a boyfriend.

I'm sure I really don't need to go on a rant about STDs, but be thankful that you haven't put yourself in the position to contract one. Herpes, for instance is the most common STD in the US among teens. (I had this talk with my sister) Many people don't even know they have it because their symptoms are so mild. 1 in 4 adults in the US have genital herpes. Most contract the virus in their teen years. I don't know if you've ever had a cold sore... but could you imagine having one on your hoo ha? No fun, I'd imagine.

To sum it all up, I think you're right where you're supposed to be.

You are going to fall in love eventually... and kiss... and snuggle.. and your heart will swell and be glad you didn't wasting your time with guys unworthy of your love and affection.

IP: Logged

pixelpixie
Knowflake

Posts: 3935
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Aug 2003

posted August 23, 2004 03:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for pixelpixie     Edit/Delete Message
Virgo~ How happy I am to read your post.. you are gaining confidence and see the good you possess.
The thing about being a Virgo--- it is a special thing. Of course you help others. It is what you do best. The downside can be that you feel "What am I getting out of this?" and good for you. You have standards you recognize and that's a good thing as well.
The want and the need for love is a basic human characteristic. The scale and scope of that is different entirely. You deserve more than just 'servicing and fixing' others. One day, as you have put the wish out there, someone will see these things you crave and it will happen. Enact those standards and gain more confidence so you will recognize who will do for you as much as you will do for them. Relationships are sharing. No less. Keep busy, keep growing and learning and one day you will wonder how it felt to be wondering how it felt to be loved.
What are you taking in College?

IP: Logged

sthenri
Moderator

Posts: 2081
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003

posted August 23, 2004 08:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
Romance isn't about being a slave to love, and it's not about being a princess, it's somewhere in the middle, and you only need ONE person who really loves you back to make you happy.

Don't worry about the whole world out there, and other people's stories, some people like to work at the same thing over and over again.
And some people are living in a dream.
But you as a Virgo need only one good love affair, because that person will stick to you for life.

Your a true and good person underneath, once a man sees that, he will stay by you. You will never be unloved, the selection is up to you. Some Sags make good mates to Virgos, depending on the aspects and the maturity level.

Never underestimate yourself, Virgos have incredible romantic possibilities,

Take Care,
Natasha

IP: Logged

virgo
Knowflake

Posts: 107
From: neverland
Registered: Jan 2004

posted August 26, 2004 02:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for virgo     Edit/Delete Message
edit

IP: Logged

sthenri
Moderator

Posts: 2081
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003

posted August 26, 2004 07:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
Virgo, they want to feel you in other ways if you get my meaning, the kiss is exciting and heart pounding if you feel really happy or really nervous near another person, then there is the whole anticipation of maybe more, you see?

Most boys will try to get a little further each time, sex is a big motivator,

Natasha

IP: Logged

sthenri
Moderator

Posts: 2081
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003

posted August 26, 2004 08:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
Now your mother may say, a relationship will evolve and you will live happily ever after. But that's not really the way it is.

Here is a possible conversation:

Kiss Kiss,
You: Wait, let's talk
Him: Okay
You: Are you kissing and dating only me?
HIm: Yes
You: Let's talk for a while,
HIm: Okay,
You: I don't want you to kiss other girls, let's see if we like each other before we go any further, I like kissing you, but that's all for now.
HIm: Good, I didn't know what to say, and I like how you can talk about these things, I always get too nervous when I'm around you or any girl
You: Okay
Him: Let's kiss,
KIss Kiss

Or
Kiss Kiss
You: Let's talk
Him: Oh no, I don't want to talk, my ex girlfriend never talked when I kissed her, we would kiss forever, why are you stopping?
You: Are you kissing just me now?
Him: yes, yes already, don't stop now, I'm getting excited, can you feel it?
You: yes but i want to talk, oh why are you so complicated, I just want to talk..
Him: Forget this, I thought you were different but I'm unhappy today and I really needed this.
You: Well, I'm sorry to hear that, but am I your girlfriend or what? What does this mean?
Him: Mean?
You: Yes, do you think we have a chance together?
HIm: I guess
You: Well, I'll see you later then when you want to talk
Him: Whatever

You can see how at the end, things can change, you can kiss me him more or leave. But he will never change his mind. If you wait on him to change his mind, you'll just end up arguing. Better to let him understand you more without kissing.

Kissing is allowed to stop and start, there are no rules, if you get rules from a boy, then let him know that you can't argue. If you change your mind, or just want to talk, or just want to kiss, he ought to be open to that, as in do it right now.

Why? Because you bear the burden of reproduction and he is the male. The male of this species knows that it's his job to attract the female, not the other way around.

It's not the female's job to attract the man, again and again. He is like a peacock strutting his stuff, if a man doesn't want to strutt for you, work for your attention, then he isn't worth it.

No other woman will want him for long either, do not fall for the other woman trap. She does this, she does that, it's designed to make you jealous, usually it's not true.

Women have to select, and reject possible suitors to find one mate, so be sure and date around. Anyone who makes you be exclusive before you are ready isn't doing you a favor.

I will follow with an article

IP: Logged

sthenri
Moderator

Posts: 2081
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003

posted August 26, 2004 08:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
http://www.davidbrin.com/neotenyarticle2.html
Notice that this article is written by a man born in California, USA. It's really different with sex selection on the East Coast and Canada. I love the selection out here!
So when he says human females, he probably means human females around him. Observation is usually self observation.

"Not only are human females compelled to compete for mates, something uncommon in most species, they appear also to have been the sex most changed (at least in outward appearance) by runaway sexual selection in Homo sapiens, making women the least primate-looking of all higher primates. In comparison, males have been left relatively untouched.16
 
Moreover, there is a predictable and tragic consequence to the development of neoteny as an emblem of adult female attractiveness. Consider it this way. Sexual selection requires two partners in order to work, first the sex under competitive stress (normally males, but in this case women) among whom a certain fraction are "chosen." If some trait has a high correlation with reproductive success, the prevalence of that trait will increase in the next generation. And true runaway will accelerate even faster if the choosers change as well -- becoming ever more critical and demanding of that trait. So if paedomorphism was women's runaway trait, there's every reason to picture men growing ever more attracted to paedomorphism in women, at a matching pace. Obvious enough, so far.
 
But paedomorphism means resemblance to children! Consider the bizarre dilemma, then. In order to attract quality mates -- protector types -- women began taking on the external features of the objects of the protective impulse -- children. This was rewarded, presumably, with reproductive success. But it also meant that men began associating with sexual desirability the very outward traits which are most directly associated with childhood!
 
The calamitous sickness of sex with pre-pubescents is one of the nastier features of our species. It is denounced by the majority, yet persists at low levels in all cultures, posing a dilemma for those contemplating a better tomorrow for our descendants. But now we might suggest one possible explanation of the origin of this dysfunction. It may derive, at least in part, as an aberrant offshoot from the two-way cycle of runaway sexual selection just described. If ever there was proof that evolution is not planned, this is it. An undergraduate could have predicted the tragic consequences.
 
Fecundity, health, neoteny... these are superficial signs which human males came to associate with feminine sexual attractiveness. Unfortunately, this boat-load of attributes was without a tiller, headed on a collision course with the best interests of the very children the whole game is about in the first place! What was needed was an emergency adaptation to help sane human males tell children apart from adult, fecund women. It is at this point, I contend, that human females developed a secondary set of exaggerated physical traits, not to elicit sex from males but in order to help high-end males across this tragic trap. One of the most pronounced of these secondary traits was the ballooning of women's breasts.
 
A male does not need the stimulation of breasts simply to desire copulation. But amplified breasts, along with the waist-pelvis flair, do add to a suite of characteristics which give a normal adult male permission to admit his arousal, even to himself. They are not so much signals to indicate fecund femaleness as indicators of female adulthood. Healthy men are probably protected from sexual impulses toward children by a set of interrupt switches. These switches are by now so well developed that most men are scarcely aware of the beginnings of arousal by borderline pubescents... and feel shame when that arousal even momentarily reaches consciousness.17 It is the unfortunate failure of such switches that provokes some to behave aberrantly. Likewise, it was the successful introduction of those switches that caused the majority of men to need more than just health and neoteny to experience the full flux of desire.
 
So women were off again, down the steep slope of competition. All else being equal, the desirable males were more attuned to women with fully developed breasts than to those whose glands were sufficient for nursing, but compact as a chimp's. Today, in order to help win the desperate game, North American women spend the annual budget of some small nations "correcting" a physical condition which has nothing to do with any illness or incapacity to nourish their young. Breast augmentation joins other types of cosmetic surgery -- procedures designed to restore the appearance of health and neoteny. It is a sign not only of the stresses faced by women naturally, but how these have been amplified and exaggerated by contemporary society.
 
In this context, one might be tempted by an unusual interpretation of the "Venus-Ishtar" stone figurines found in neolithic sites -- depicting female forms with exaggerated breasts and hourglass figures. Perhaps they were portable and artificial permission cues, serving much the same function as the milder forms of pornography do today, allowing solitary males to release pent-up physiological tension that accumulates behind a dam of inhibitions that pre-date any religious stricture.
 
Notwithstanding such speculative asides, we are drawn to one unmistakable conclusion. In the strange story of humanity, it is the female who has been forced to wear the equivalent of bright, garish plumage, even though she is still the one with the most exhausting task in reproduction, and still the one with the most to lose. This combination is without known parallel in nature.
 
We are a strange clan, indeed."

IP: Logged

virgo
Knowflake

Posts: 107
From: neverland
Registered: Jan 2004

posted August 28, 2004 02:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for virgo     Edit/Delete Message
edit

IP: Logged

sthenri
Moderator

Posts: 2081
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003

posted August 28, 2004 12:58 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
You will find what you need, but don't forget to wish and dream too, nothing wrong with nourishing your heart and spirit

Natasha

IP: Logged

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright © 2004

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a