Author
|
Topic: Going through a difficult time
|
Quinnie Knowflake Posts: 552 From: Belfast, Ireland Registered: Jul 2002
|
posted September 24, 2004 06:10 AM
My Boyfriend and I have been fighting constantly and it's been very close to breaking up at times. It just seems like we are on completely differnt wavelengths sometimes but we just don't want to let go. It has been a very mysterious and exciting attraction from the start but now that we are getting serious about each other it's just so difficult to try and maintain our own personalites whilst being absorbed by one another. Can someone please have a look at our chart's synastry and tell me a little about what holds us together and maybe a little advice on how to understand him more. I really need some help.
IP: Logged |
Quinnie Knowflake Posts: 552 From: Belfast, Ireland Registered: Jul 2002
|
posted September 24, 2004 06:12 AM
I forgot to add the birthtimes ... Mine Oct 18th 1980 06:59 am Belfast, Northern IrelandHis 27th February 1981 15:50 pm Portadown, Northern Ireland Thanks IP: Logged |
pocco Knowflake Posts: 61 From: Bangalore, Karnataka, India Registered: Nov 2003
|
posted September 27, 2004 08:27 AM
I'm not very good at looking into the charts. But I would surely like to say something regarding this.In situations like these what generally works is: 'Let Go of him for a while'. I'm not asking you to break up with him. All I'm trying to say is that just be yourself for a while and let him be himself. I'm sure both of your will feel much better at the end of the day. This may not be the right solution. Since I'm not there to really know the kind of situations both have you been. But that was the maximum effort I could make to make you feel better. If you want to know about the kind of compatibility between the two of you, you can always visit www.astrology.com and find out more about yourseves. Love and luck to you... pocco IP: Logged |
astro junkie Moderator Posts: 4374 From: Registered: Nov 2003
|
posted September 28, 2004 04:15 AM
Hey Quinnie - I like your name - does it have to do with the Mighty Quinn?I'm sure you will get more responses on this, but do this. Try to focus your study on your respective Neptune's & Pluto's. This is usually where you will find all things having to do with losing your boundaries (Neptune), and with obsession/possesion (Pluto). Not sure if you have gone to astro.com to get their FREE reports. There's a ton to do there. Goes without saying, the way you describe this relationship, it doesn't sound healthy or something we would wish for someone we loved. You know? It may be exciting, perhaps you two have some type of astrological influence which enjoys the thrill, or the challenge, or the dominance, or the chaos. But you're going to have to grow out of this, and the more you resist, the harder the lesson is going to come down on you. NO ONE is immune. Don't take offense because that is not my intention. But I've done a lot of volunteer work for a domestic violence center, and I am also a survivor. Situations like yours usually escalate, if it hasn't already. Better safe than sorry. .gloria IP: Logged |
Quinnie Knowflake Posts: 552 From: Belfast, Ireland Registered: Jul 2002
|
posted September 28, 2004 04:34 AM
Thanks for your replies Pocco and Gloria, I didn't think anyone would respond so thank you. You are both right and I do need more space within this relationship to think about reflect on it. I have looked at our charts both the natals and the synastry and the composite all at astro.com but it's extremely difficult to look at it objectively. I love him so I'll prefer to see the better qualities and perhaps ignore the harsh ones. I must admit your reply kind of startled me because you were so honest, our feelings are so powerful at times, it's like the most frightening relationship because we are afraid to let go. Did you see anything in our charts? Our synastry. Can the relationship survive if we allow it space to grow? Can you see aspects of love binding us together? Thank you for your responsesIP: Logged |
Quinnie Knowflake Posts: 552 From: Belfast, Ireland Registered: Jul 2002
|
posted September 28, 2004 04:35 AM
Gloria did you look at our charts and see anything or was your response just based on what I have written? many ThanksIP: Logged |
astro junkie Moderator Posts: 4374 From: Registered: Nov 2003
|
posted September 28, 2004 05:45 PM
Quinnie -I'm just one person with her opinion and feelings on this, but what usually happens with me when someone writes wanting to know more about how to save a relationship with these types of negative overtones, I usually don't bother getting into it astrologically. Sometimes you have to quit while you're ahead. IP: Logged |
sthenri Moderator Posts: 2134 From: Montreal, Canada Registered: May 2003
|
posted September 28, 2004 08:54 PM
Quinnie, it would help if you would copy your composite from astro.com and post it here, that way we can all look at it. If you want to post major aspects, please do that as well. Drawing up charts is very time consuming and if you've already done that, I can give you analysis.I agree there seem to be problems with being together, do you normally spend time at home? Pisces can be funny about their privacy, and innerwardly feel threatened with too much company, either way some time in a new place would help. Take Care, Natasha Taurus IP: Logged |
Quinnie Knowflake Posts: 552 From: Belfast, Ireland Registered: Jul 2002
|
posted September 29, 2004 04:08 AM
Yes he likes his privacy but also enjoys socialising with his friends which I don't always enjoy because he wants me there every time. Sometimes it is hard to read him, he is sensitive to the affection I give him and we are very affectionate towards each other but problems seem to occur in others company or when alcohol is involved. We do love each other but I have brought trust issues into the relationship from the beginning and it has caused alot of arguments. We are getting closer by giving each other emotional space after an intense time. Here is our composite chart, I can get you the synastry if that will help too. Thank you for your contributionAscendant Virgo 16 2nd house Libra 7 3rd house Scorpio 4 4th house Sagittarius 9 5th house Capricorn 18 6th house Aquarius 21 Sun In Capricorn 1 Moon In Capricorn 12 Mercury in Capricorn 4 Venus in Sagittarius 7 Mars in capricorn 25 Jupiter in Libra 3 Saturn in Libra 5 uranus in Scorpio 27 Neptune in sagittarius 22 Pluto in Libra 22 n node in Leo 14 Chiron in Taurus 15 Major aspects Sun conjunct Mercury Sun square jupiter Sun square Saturn Sun conjunct Neptune Moon conjuunct Mercury Moon square Jupiter Moon square Saturn Mercury square Jupiter Mercury square saturn Venus sextile Jupiter Venus sextile Saturn Mars trine Jupiter Mars sextile Uranus Mars square Pluto Node square Chiron Chiron trine Moon Ac trine Chiron Ac square Neptune Ac trine Mars Ac square Venus Ac trine Moon Again Many Thanks IP: Logged |
Quinnie Knowflake Posts: 552 From: Belfast, Ireland Registered: Jul 2002
|
posted September 29, 2004 05:31 AM
Ok I did the synastry as well... I know this is alot of reading so thank youHis chart Sun in pisces 9 Moon in Sagittarius 15 Mercury in Aquarius 20 Venus in Aquarius 29 Mars in Pisces 16 Jupiter in Libra 8 Saturn in Libra 8 Uranus in Sag 0 Neptune in sagittarius 24 Pluto in Sagittarius 24 Ac in Leo 18 Ic Scorpio 0 Chiron in Taurus 16 Vertex in Capricorn 9 Nnode in Leo 10 My Chart Sun in Libra 24 Moon in Aquarius 8 Mercury in Scorpio 18 Venus in Virgo 15 Mars in Sagittarius 4 Jupiter in Virgo 28 Saturn in Libra 3 Uranus in scorpio 24 Neptune in Sagittarius 20 Pluto in Libra 22 Ac in Libra 14 Ic in Capricorn 19 Chiron in Taurus 16 Vertex in Taurus 1 Nnode in Leo 17 Major Aspects Sun opposing my Venus Sun square mars Sun trine mercury sun trine venus sun sextile neptune sun conjunct Pluto moon square venus Moon trine jupiter Moon trine saturn Mercury square Mercury Mercury sextile neptune Mercury trine pluto mercury trine mars venus square mars venus square uranus Venus opposing mars Mars square neptune mars sextile jupiter mars sextile saturn jupiter conjunct saturn Jupiter square neptune Do you look at aspects to the chart rulers as holding an importance? IP: Logged |
sthenri Moderator Posts: 2134 From: Montreal, Canada Registered: May 2003
|
posted September 29, 2004 01:37 PM
Yes I look at everything,I notice the Sun opposite your Venus in synastry, I had a feeling from what you described there were squares or oppositions to Venus which also rules trust. Trust issues fall under Venus and Neptune and sometimes Mars. Hard aspects to Venus point to infighting, competition. Distrust of long term compatibility. You don't trust him all the time, and you don't know why, the feeling could be mutual. Competition, that is the desire to win, is more important sometimes than getting along. There will be arguments naturally because both of you value trust. It's a matter of trusting what the other one feels/says, and accepting it. That's tough because at least one of you isn't as clear in communication, that's Neptune. Communication leads to trust so the arguing doesn't help. Mars and Pluto in the composite point to some power plays, and I knew someone had a Leo ascendant. The composite feels more like a Leo ascendant too. The trust may stem from a feeling of a lack of power or significance in life. One of you needs to be heard, get ahead in life and there is some frustration always, that never goes away. Time spent with children or getting in touch with more childlike activities helps. Alcohol allows self control to vanish, Leo wants to be in control. Make it a rule not to drink when you are together at least half the time, set limits, be strong. Strength is needed here. Sometimes we have to be very firm with others, and I would recommend being firm and not changing your mind in arguments. That way there is no argument. When I fight with a Pisces it's always because I change my mind to seem more lenient, and then communication is unclear, my motives are suspect, and everything backfires. Keep communication short, and to the point, even if you have to talk less. Make your communications stronger and shorter. With Venus in Aqua, which rules Saturn as well as uranus, there is a natural desire to compete and rule over those you love. It's done with love, but there is push to be the victor in discussions. This is an excellent position for a CEO. Imagine you are negotiating a business deal and you can see the pride involved. It can be really difficult to keep your cool, excercise and meditation ought to be encouraged for both of you. Mainly for him, but he probably won't go without you. That's my advice, Natasha Taurus
IP: Logged |
Quinnie Knowflake Posts: 552 From: Belfast, Ireland Registered: Jul 2002
|
posted September 30, 2004 04:06 AM
Natasha everything you said has been true and thank you for not judging because even though we find it hard to communicate with each other and thats where the problems come in, we really do love each other. I was reading the Venus in Aquarius thread and it was extremely helpful also, he is very stubborn in making his point heard but then he can be totally evasive also and I find myself trying to catch him out. I am a Neptune in the 3rd house communicator so there are also times when i literally forget what I wanted to say and it frustrates everything even more. Your advice is sound and I know what I have to do. Thanks AgainIP: Logged |