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Author
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Topic: Love or not?
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sthenri
Moderator Posts: 2206
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003
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posted October 05, 2004 08:36 AM
 
When you break up with someone do you miss him/her, or are you sad because you loved that person? How many of us have broken it off with someone we truly loved?Curious, if we always come back to those we love, or is there another reason? Natasha
Taurus
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miss_muffet
Knowflake Posts: 104
From:
Registered: Mar 2004
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posted October 05, 2004 08:47 AM
This is strictly my opinion but:We almost always break up with someone not because we do not love them anymore but because we cannot live with them. A part of us will always be with the people our lives have touched, whether or not we wish to be with them for the rest of our lives is not the issue. I believe that we will always love them because they share a part of us that make us who we are right now. IP: Logged |
astro junkie
Moderator Posts: 4872
From:
Registered: Nov 2003
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posted October 05, 2004 09:23 AM
For whatever reason, I go through a myriad of high's and low's, and I'd say for most people, you go through stages similar to the grieving process. My relationships tend to be all or nothing for me because of my Pluto aspects, so being friends with all my ex's was never common for me.But I'm also aiming towards a point to where I can pray and wish for the very best for the ex, no matter how much anger or sadness I'd feel. IP: Logged |
chrissymgreen
Knowflake Posts: 37
From: hurst, TX, USA
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted October 05, 2004 01:25 PM
dear natasha,i've broken up with someone i loved, very much. it was a long time ago. in this particular case i was in college and the break-up was caused by him transferring to another college. i know that for years after i'd wake up in the middle of the night, and i just missed HIM. i genuinely wasn't sad i loved him so much that the break-up caused me so much pain. now that i am older, though, sometimes i rationalize all the romanticism i attached to him and to the relationship and even to the break-up and i find myself chalking it up to my youth (i was maybe 23 when we broke up). since then, the few relationships i've had that have ended, have ended relatively amicably, and with less pain (though i would find myself sometimes regretting getting involved - break-ups did seem more messy than i was comfortable with, and going through the 'grieving process' when it ended was distressful). i guess i got a bit cynical, and i haven't been letting myself develop strong, intense feelings, or i was incapable of doing so. in the past year and a half, though, i've been seeing someone who's helped me to get away from that numbness, which i appreciate.
chrissy
pisces sun/6th house
sagittarius moon/3rd house
mercury aries/6th house
mars capricorn/3rd house
venus aquarius/5th house
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GemStar
Knowflake Posts: 56
From: USA
Registered: Jul 2004
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posted October 05, 2004 02:37 PM
My thoughts on this go a few different ways.For me, the pain of a break-up is not only for the Love cut short in time but the loss of the Dream. In that, I mean the Dream of the continued future with the lover...now no longer a part of your life. Maybe it is the 'Happily Ever After' theme we all believe in while growing up...only we find out that there are often lessons to be learned along the way that slowly make us grow into an improved version of ourselves...at the cost of relationships ending sometimes. Love(relationships) ending is part of building to bigger and better Loves. Don't you agree? I never go back once I have decided...too many people try to live through their illusions and delusions...they break up....get back together later, believing the relationship will be vastly different...only to discover that the truth has not changed. Maybe my Scorp Rising gives me that 'Give it all I have and when I am done(should it need to end)...I am DONE!' Move it along in life ya know?!! Too many interesting people out there to hang on to situations that cause you grief and heartache...Love itself is such a process...my Venus in 7th loves it!! IP: Logged |
KarenSD
Knowflake Posts: 288
From: San Diego CA USA
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted October 05, 2004 03:13 PM
Love(relationships) ending is part of building to bigger and better Loves. Don't you agree? YES! IP: Logged |
sthenri
Moderator Posts: 2206
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003
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posted October 05, 2004 06:40 PM
Thanks, those were really great. Yes I believe we are touched by who we loved, and we carry that person everywhere. But that terrifies me too,
I really feel that I need to fall in love with a sweet altar boy, and when I do he's anything but, if you know what I mean.Gemstar-Happily Ever After
The HEA! Bingo, that's what I always want. Here's to all HEAs everywhere! Natasha
Taurus/6th house Sun
Scorpio Rising/12th house
Cancer Moon/8th house
Aries Venus/5th house
Gemini Mercury/7th house IP: Logged |
sthenri
Moderator Posts: 2206
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003
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posted October 05, 2004 06:46 PM
double postIP: Logged |
Wordweaver
Knowflake Posts: 40
From: Omaha, NE
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted October 05, 2004 07:32 PM
I've broken up with more than one person I loved, for different reasons: I felt that I couldn't trust her; I knew that we wanted different things from the relationship; I felt the relationship wasn't going anywhere; etc. I don't believe that love is the only requisite to keeping two people together. I've stayed for months in relationships with people I didn't love because every thing else was in place. And I'm Scorpio, with additional Pluto aspects, and have no problem whatsoever being friends with my ex's. I think that's primarily a female affliction, no matter the birth sign.------------------
Sun-Scorp
Moon-Libra
ASC-Virgo
Merc-Scorp
Venus-Virgo
Mars-Cap IP: Logged |
astro junkie
Moderator Posts: 4872
From:
Registered: Nov 2003
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posted October 05, 2004 08:39 PM
Maybe because guys have much more to gain from a frienship with an ex than a woman ...IP: Logged |
Wordweaver
Knowflake Posts: 40
From: Omaha, NE
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted October 05, 2004 09:10 PM
Okay, Astro Junkie; I'll bite . . .
What do guys have to gain that a woman doesn't?IP: Logged |
astro junkie
Moderator Posts: 4872
From:
Registered: Nov 2003
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posted October 05, 2004 09:15 PM
That wasn't the bait. That was the hook, line and sinker.IP: Logged |
butterflyeyes
Knowflake Posts: 102
From: Gulfport,Mississippi, USA
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted October 05, 2004 09:25 PM
I believe that love (life) is all a learning experience. Cause when that day comes to you with the knowledge you have. Love becomes more spiritual.IP: Logged |
Wordweaver
Knowflake Posts: 40
From: Omaha, NE
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted October 05, 2004 09:48 PM
Love to fish, myself. Ex-wife got the boat though; current doesn't like boats.
What I've 'gained' from friendships with ex's is . . .jealous pain from listening to them complain about their currents, late night wake-up calls because they "just needed someone to talk to," and, when they're upset with any man, blame for the failed relationship. My cup runneth over.
I'd like to think that they, in return, get a true and lasting friend, who knows the meaning of the word and understands their value as people.IP: Logged |
sthenri
Moderator Posts: 2206
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003
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posted October 05, 2004 09:53 PM
Worldweaver, with your LIbra moon harmony is easier for you, that's great. I like being friends with my ex's too, only they are stormier friendships. As an Aqua male friend put it, some women just have cycles, and their lives are run by them. At first I thought that was sexist, but it's pretty much true in my case. As for trust, that's my biggest challenge.I always leave on that note.
However I wonder if it's better to follow the path that is the strongest? If I can't integrate all my needs and wants, then maybe love is a priority? With my 8th house moon trust is very difficult, I almost feel as I am forced to repress my emotions, with certain people, although I know there's love.
Very frustrating. As for men gaining much more from ex's, women have those cycles, so as my Aqua friend said, it's easy to know when a woman is needy, whereas it's harder to tell with a man.
Is that the gist of it? The moon's in Cancer right now, and the Sun's in Libra, can you tell? Natasha
Taurus
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Wordweaver
Knowflake Posts: 40
From: Omaha, NE
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted October 05, 2004 10:03 PM
I'm psychic when it comes to a woman's needy times, Natasha: whenever I'm busy at work, watching a good game, or trying to read. No offense, of course.IP: Logged |
astro junkie
Moderator Posts: 4872
From:
Registered: Nov 2003
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posted October 05, 2004 10:09 PM
... and until you keep a daily journal of your MALE cycles, you will never synchronize with the FEMALE cycle properly ... Have you ever had a REAL girlfriend? ...
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miss_muffet
Knowflake Posts: 104
From:
Registered: Mar 2004
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posted October 07, 2004 02:29 PM
Just adding another twist to the equation...I think that it would be easier to be friends with ex's (with or without Scorpio influence, and male or female) if:
1. the break-up was smooth- both person agreeing to the break-up.
2. the break-up was your idea, not because the other person did something wrong- maybe you find him more and more irritating, or you found someone else... etc.
3. there was no real ear-drum breaking screams when you broke up - LOL. Had one of those...
4. noone else was whispering ugly insinuations in your ear or your ex's ear (speaking about mother-in-laws) all the time. :O
5. you really really don't care anymore! A lot of times, a person is hurt and saddened by a break up so much because they still care and don't really want to break up with the other person in the first place; therefore making it impossible to cultivate a friendship after. So, the way I see it, whatever the reason for the breakup, it wasn't meant to be and I refuse to waste my time and effort in being upset about it. Therefore, I don't really mind being friends with my ex's again. Although, most of my ex's don't really want to be friends with me! Oops, there goes the theory about men being able to deal with this better! Miss Muffet
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may12tauruslady
Knowflake Posts: 19
From: los angeles, ca
Registered: Sep 2004
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posted October 17, 2004 11:25 PM
I just broke up with my boyfried of 5 years a couple weeks ago. And I still love him very very much. He is also a Taurus and a wonderful, kind-hearted, sweet man. BUT! He still lives at home, doesn't have a car and hasn't filed taxes since he doesn't know when. His cel phone is in MY name and he's past due. On top of that, I'm just not passionately turned on anymore.But we both can depend on each other if an emergency happened at any time of day or night, we'll be there. I have an Aqua moon and he has a Cancer moon. Today, actually is the first day I haven't talked to him a whole day in I don't know how long! It's finally beginning to wear off and we are weaning ourselves from each other. He keeps it all business and cordial now. I'm interested in two other Taurus men now...and wondering why I'm attracting them. Are they a reflection of me? And my father is a Taurus and my grandmother was a Taurus. My mother died when i was 5, she was a Gemini. IP: Logged |
Yin
Knowflake Posts: 417
From:
Registered: May 2004
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posted October 18, 2004 10:55 AM
Hey, may12tauruslady, your ex sounds a lot like someone I know. The person I know got himself a Virgo girl to take care of him and I guess she's been kicking his arse, because he became a lot more responsible than he was before. IP: Logged |
sthenri
Moderator Posts: 2206
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003
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posted October 18, 2004 02:20 PM
Sounds like my ex too A Libra/Gem Moon/Virgo Venus/Gemini Rising.
Never paid taxes, bills in my name,
It's the principle right?
I like being his friend except that it always works one way, it ends up he can't arrive on time, or if he promises something it always ends badly. That is to stay friends?Intimacy is defined as friends without boundaries-I love friends, but I am wary of intimacy without love. I am a Taurus/Cancer moon and I can't imagine not paying taxes or being lazy, but then I have a lot of Aries and Scorpio influences. I wonder if I ought to rephrase the question as
Intimacy or not? Natasha
IP: Logged |
astro junkie
Moderator Posts: 4872
From:
Registered: Nov 2003
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posted October 18, 2004 03:07 PM
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Mama Mia
Knowflake Posts: 66
From: chicago
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted October 18, 2004 04:40 PM
Hey Aj love that sublemenol suggsetion...IP: Logged |
future_uncertain
Knowflake Posts: 35
From: ohio
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted October 19, 2004 11:44 PM
An answer to the original question because it puzzles me a little bit...I had to break up with someone who I loved very much (not the guy I just wrote about in free for all!) but when I broke up with him, it was definitely a mental decision because my heart was still very much with him, but we both knew that the relationship wasn't going to work out. I'm over that relationship now and I have been in a great relationship now for about five months... not forever, I know, but it's starting to grow. It's the best relationship I've been in yet, mostly because we are taking our time and being very cautious! But... I have run into my ex-boyfriend a few times lately and I find that it really bugs me to be around him; we had a strong chemistry from the start and I can still feel that energy when I am around him. I don't want to be back with him and I know how I feel about my current boyfriend, but the "feeling" I get when I am in proximity to my ex is quite bothersome. To me it says that it's important to be aware of my emotions but I can't let them lead me back into something that I know is over. Just because the feeling is still there in some ways doesn't mean that anything else is. Just my two cents, if anyone can relate... Carissa IP: Logged |
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