posted October 06, 2004 02:27 AM           

If ya wanna share any experiences, I'm about to take the biggest love plunge I've ever taken in my life ...

Or if any guys want to respond, if you've had a girl say it to you, and what made the difference?

Thanks.

posted October 06, 2004 04:12 AM           

I say, "you pays your money and you takes your chances." It all comes down to this question: Which is sadder? Having your heart broken a thousand times or never taking the chance that will lead you to true Love?

Gods be with you.

posted October 06, 2004 09:19 AM           

Actually, I wrote my declaration in a long letter so that I would say everything in the best way possible. It was re-written, tweaked...smoothed (so it was heart-felt yet not overwhelming..if that was possible).

Basically, I put my heart out in the middle of the open field...not totally sure of what direction this would take our relationship. I knew in my heart that I could never move on without having declared my true feelings to the one I loved. Also, I knew I was strong enough to handle whatever would happen...Maybe he was going to reject me...and my friendship with him would be forever damaged because of this letter...So be it..I was willing to take that chance.

It was scary. No Lie. The time had come for a change in the relationship. No more beating around the bush. No more insinuations with neither person making the moves.

He had been calling me for over one and a half years....every day...like clockwork...I rarely called him (I like when a guy makes this effort)...conversations that always last anywhere from 1-2 hours-EACH DAY! What man calls you like that and isn't in love with you? ( I was thinking this anyway) None that I know of (well, guy friends yes but not for that long)...He knew I would date others but we would never talk about that. Taboo.

Anyway, I delivered the letter in person and scooted out of his office...waiting, unable to breathe...the letter was sprayed with my perfume...my heart totally on display...frightened with fears that I had forever changed our relationship. I knew it WAS changed now...My heart races just at the thought of this memory.

He called later that day at his usual time...I didn't answer. I wanted him to think about it more...My piano lesson sucked that day...I didn't eat...just plain freakin!!

I didn't return the call. (Often I don't because if he really wants to talk with you, he WILL call back ladies!) When he called the next day (as usual)...we talked.

Lo and behold, he told me he loved me...that he was excited by me physically during our conversations (no sex talk had ever really been discussed)....he was excited by me mentally....he knew how special our connection was from the beginning....he dreamed about me as I had dreamed about him.((Shivers) Cool.

What a relief to have these feelings reciprocated! WOW!! Now the desire flows freely...the Love no longer a taboo subject...both of us feeling closer and more intimate...the love had grown deeper. And continues to grow...

So....Know that you are strong enough to handle any outcome when you declare your love to someone. I believe that once you have had your first broken heart (usually at a younger age), you can handle anything. My personal motto is.."Honor Your Spirit"...and with that, I have the strength to handle everything because I know my innate worth and capabilities. If someone does not reciprocate...so be it. You can have no shame in such a declaration. L'Object of your Desire will be flattered at the minimum...

Be Brave Gloria. Honor Your Spirit!!

posted October 06, 2004 11:36 AM           

Personally, I believe Real True Love takes time to grow and develop...way past the intial AHA! and chemistry moments...

Definitely think that holding back and being cool is a better approach. Too much too soon makes the intensity different somehow. The deeper feelings we all crave and desire grow deeper roots after many conversations...if it is meant to be...it will be. But allow the time for Love to germinate properly...grow deeper roots. Otherwise, the foundation is too shallow (weak roots) in the ground...trust that the outcome can be in your favor...trust that time TRULY does tell. (cliche I know, however does seem to work out that way...)

posted October 06, 2004 12:58 PM           

That's kind of how i feel when i'm putting it all on the line to a guy - and why i rarely do it!

I'm 38 years old now, by the way, and it still is one of the hardest things for me to do, even after all these years. Not that i *can't* because i *can* and not because i don't *want* to, because when i *want* to, i *do want* to... but the reaction i know i'll get at some point from the recipient of my words is always my biggest, worst fear!

All i can say is if you put it out there in all your love and honesty and being true to yourself and your feelings and the universe, be ready for ANY and ALL answers... good OR not-so-good. Because they will be there!!!

BEST WISHES TO YOU!!!

posted October 06, 2004 04:38 PM           

Since I'm better at writing, I thought of doing that, but knowing Mr. L, he will also like it if I'm able to put my words together and speak in a straightforward way. He encourages me to do that.

I'm like GemStar & Karen - the thought of doing something like this makes me want to throw up. I've liked guys a lot before, but this is different. Last night I wasn't even thinking about him at the moment, and my eyes just started tearing up for no reason, and I realized there were strong feelings inside me wanting to get out. As soon as I started confessing to myself that this was serious, I cried and cried. Just, a release of feelings of need, caring, loneliness, and how I need to get on with it - whether it's with him or someone else in the future.

posted October 06, 2004 05:04 PM           

Also, my idea of the letter was that HE would be able to process it in his own time...not on the spot with me sitting there..I wanted it to sink into his brain and swirl around...no immediate defense mechanisms activated towards me if it went in the wrong direction. It would give him time to think and if his feelings were not reciprocated, he would time and space to be with his thoughts and then gently let me down when we talked again.

Either way, yes, the throw up feeling is unavoidable when you expose your heart so openly IMHO. My heart drops just at the sight of him. Every time. Breathe...breathe...

Speak your heart...no excuses needed...be in control...and speak your truth...I cried when I wrote the letter and I think my emotion was conveyed clearly...I wrote of the passion and happiness I felt...the pain of torture from my deep desire for him (tears fell as I wrote and I interjected that too!)...OH Yahhhhh, if I was going to do this-why not just spill it all!! Talk about living on the edge...Aarrrghhhh....

Another note on chemistry...I believe that when you feel it very strongly, it isn't just one-sided. Do you all agree?

AJ-He knows and feels the energy from you and maybe he just needs confirmation from you...only you know when the time is right. Right for YOU that is. Use your astology knowledge to approach him in the way that works for his Mars. His Venus too. You know him well and by now probably know how to handle him and his emotions.

When you are ready...dive in Baby-the water feels just fine!

I told my guy that my feelings for him felt like deep water.

Love feels like that..kinda where you can't touch the bottom...and you know it goes deeper...scary. But the good news is...you can swim away if you need to! Swim to other fishes, in other oceans...or swim in shallow waters and never discover deeper depths (and the golden treasures only found in the deep end).

posted October 06, 2004 05:27 PM           

I liked the scented letter!

Gloria, I ask myself it's a love where everything is open-where my heart is open and available, or if it's the kind of love where things will progress slowly. The decision has to do with what else is going on in my life.

If my life is fairly easygoing, I am much more open, the only time I could do that is with a Libra who was attracted to a simple life like I was. Now my life is much more complicated so I am more likely to be softer in my approach and slower. Mentally I can commit, but I can't commit physically like I could before.

The answer is yes, I have told the ex Libra, he was the one and that I would love him forever that he was the first man I loved. You can imagine his reaction. He was pretty insecure but I needed to reassure him, it felt like what I wanted to do.
His insecurity was about more than his relationships so that is why we split.

I still like to give that reassurance, but now I am more likely to wait and take it slow physically. My declaration would be "You are the one, the way I love you is different than what I've felt for anyone else, I want to explore this feeling for a while"

I was hoping the ex gemini would like that, but he has doubts about holding back physically. I wanted to be accepted for what I felt. Even though it didn't work out, I am glad I expressed myself.

I think you have to declare what you really feel, regardless of what kind of relationship is going to happen, no matter how he feels or acts or thinks.

Good Luck, emotions are good for you,
I hope that Mr. L is really affectionate and loving, because letting go of someone when you see they can't love you back is rough. I would love him as much as you can and see how things go, who knows what may happen in six months? Even if it ends later, you can look back and say what a great time I had.

posted October 06, 2004 05:28 PM           

Funny Gemstar ...

Yes, the chemistry has to be both ways, absolutely - for the year we knew each other as friends, he was always throwing subtle hints at me, and I always acted cool. Once in a while when he knew no one else was looking, he'd discretely give me that up and down look, you know the one? And then quietly go, "Mm.. Mm.. Mm.." And if he ever got close enough to my ear, he'd sometimes whisper things like "sexy lady", or do one of those soft purring sounds. Nothing was ever like gross or in bad taste, and we ladies know how much of THAT is out there. He never tried to humiliate me, always made sure it was cool with me and he wasn't totally annoying me.

And I was never like egging him on or encouraging him, but I'd just smile and sometimes laugh like, stop joking around like that - (and to myself think, you might start a fire if you're not careful) ...

Well - so to that extent I know there was chemistry there FOR HIM, before it even hit me like this. And I think the chemistry took us both by total surprise, and we're both still scared. But when the chemistry hit me, it was NOT like something in "the act" was so out of this world. I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary until the next morning as I was getting ready to leave. There was this aching in my heart, and every cell in my body was vibrating to this. You know? Not just a cerebral experience, or just lust, or just anything you could make sense of. So I figure, this will pass, you know? You think, a few days or a couple of weeks go by, it wears off - as it always has.

But not this time.

He's kind enough to respect my need to voice these things, I know because I told him something on the phone a couple of times recently, and he enjoys it when I can put my thoughts together and speak straightforward.

The thing is, I want to have sleep overs more often, and for longer periods, like 2 or 3 days, you know? Be around him more physically in a hanging out way. Sharing more of our responsibilities in life with each other. Most importantly, trusting that we will be there for each other, that it has been sanctioned.

If for some reason he acts like an azz about all this, I'll have to move on and find it with someone else, because I am SO READY. It's not even about sex, although we all know I love it. But I'm a very spiritual person, and our astrological aspects makes him a perfect fit for that side of me, his Moon being in my 8th House sort of sums up what I mean by that. Also, my Venus, Uranus, Pluto & NN in HIS 8th House.

And then me, breaking down his Cappy Moon walls around his emotions (once I've accepted my own). My Moon being in his 7th sums that up, as well as my Jupiter & Saturn in Capricorn in HIS 1st House, where his Cappy Moon is.

It feels like a "no matter how you shake it" type thing. Like winning the cosmic lottery.

I appreciate all of you. Thanks.

.gloria

posted October 07, 2004 07:55 AM           

Yes Gloria...I too am only attracted to every millionth person(man) and it takes a lot to keep me interested over a length of time...often the intial chemistry slowly fading away. And then...the one that toally captures you and your heart...Mmmmmm.

Chemistry is amazing. The kind that LASTS beyond lust is even more so. Once you find a guy like you have with Mr L...and the chemistry stays..and yes, beyond the sex act...just plain attraction and chemistry. (From just being..)...wow. So rare it seems...and so goooood!

posted October 07, 2004 10:06 AM           

What else is on his mind? For me it's easier to figure out what ISN'T on his mind. Such as him letting go of some of that control he's so used to chasing after. We have not yet arrived to the point where we consider ourselves a viable "couple" and that he does not need to fear leaning on me in any way.

And during times when I've questioned the Knowflakes to know if he loves me, they all say Cappy Moons don't act they way he's been with me unless he really likes me. And at this point, he's had dozens of times to break it off -

posted October 07, 2004 02:37 PM           

Sorry to reply so late, but I just want to let you know that I did exactly that 10 years ago - told someone I am crazy about him (not in so many words) and he ended up being my husband.

We will be celebrating our 6th anniversary this Sunday.

It is a chance you are going to have to decide to take or not to take. If the positive outcome overweighs the negative, take it.

The worst that can happen is that your friendship becomes awkward and you end up not talking with each other anymore. On the other hand, could you live with feeling the way you do and keeping the secret the rest of your life, with him being just a "friend"?

Weigh it out and decide... good luck to you, and I do feel for you coz I know exactly how that feels.

posted October 15, 2004 05:46 PM           

What happened with this eternal love confession? I just read this post for the first time, and my gosh- you and I seem to have uncanny similarities in this sort of situation! I even have a Mr. L of my own, who you've given me some insights into in the past.

I gave this Mr. L a confession of my own this past June. Not really an "eternal love" confession, just an open admission of feelings that I've had for 3 years. I was sparked to do this after he planted a big kiss on me when we were bidding each other farewell for the summer, and I then spent the next 3 weeks overanalyzing it, and basically making myself crazy.

Other things have occurred between us before... ahem.. an accidental sexual one, but that kiss was so spontaneously full of passion... I felt like a river was rising up inside me when it happened, that I couldn't keep my mouth shut about this chemistry. I still think it goes both ways, although he hasn't given me much concrete evidence of this. Just something I feel. He has, though, told me that our friendship means a lot to him, he trusts me with talking about important things, and basically stayed as "on the fence" about it as possible (damn Libra moon!).

So at this point... Mr. L and I have done everything possible to cause two people to not be friends anymore... and yet, we seem to get deeper every time I see him. Gotta love trined Suns! Right now he's on the fast track to getting his heart broken by getting involved with someone who just got out of a 2 year relationship a month ago. And I'm busy... trying to put the whole thing on the back burner, for now.

Is it just that the time is wrong? Does he need to get his heart broken? Am I in a Neptunian fantasty land?

Oh, and a big CHEERS to the throwing up thing- I almost threw up when I called his house, even though I knew he was on vacation and I was only intending to leave a message. Phew. And, when I saw him for the first time after I wrote him the letter, I almost couldn't go into his house- sat in my car literally shaking and feeling sick.

posted October 15, 2004 06:14 PM           

You're "the one"

Whatever he or life has to dish out cannot change the fundamental truth of my love. I think it was important for my Moon in the 3rd to somehow relay that to him, and I think he understands now. It's a relief in that way, but still struggling.

posted October 15, 2004 06:47 PM           

Gloria, I am wishing you joy,

Natasha
Taurus

posted October 19, 2004 01:17 AM           

Thanks Nattie and HSC -

Do you have anymore insights into 3rd House Moon? I've read a lot, but you always have a special insight. You could write books. (maybe you have) ...

HSC - that tear drop is for you, that's how I felt reading your post. A big part of being in love for the very time is realizing that you go through a lot of shock episodes, when something reminds you of something, and then you're sucked back into the present and realize you could devote body, mind & soul to the person for the rest of your life.

That's scary for us both. He knows only all too well where I'm at for him. So far he's been respectful, and has a bunch to do in the early months in dealing with issues of trust. (And having work for the trust of his Cappy Moon).

I spend so much time just dealing with the shock and realization of "being in love" - is this why guys are so slow to pop the question? Cuz if I'M going through this ...

posted October 19, 2004 09:37 AM           

The reason I ask is because my sister's husband constantly changes his career to be at home more often for her, but I know he's unhappy because they make less money that way.
3rd house moon seems to like a more stay put mate, but not everyone can do that.

posted October 19, 2004 10:21 AM           

i have a third house moon just like you (mine's in sagittarius) and i think for me it translates to i just HAVE to communicate (3rd house) my emotions (moon). i think you and i touched on this before. people tend to know where i'm coming from, because i let them know, and how (when the other aspects in my chart indicating my need for privacy aren't acting up, that is). third house moons are supposedly great teachers, too. i like making learning for others fun (it's why i work for a school). i constantly seek to link cause and effect, and i really like to explain things to people for the sharing of knowledge gives me pleasure...but i have noticed, like a gemini, i'm inclined to be changeable at times. above all, i've noticed in my relationships i have a strong need to COMMUNICATE, and i've left relationships before where i felt i just couldn't say what i wanted to, say what i felt.

so, how's it going?? have you given him the card yet?

and by the way, you always come up with the best pictures/animations! i love the things you use.