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Author Topic:   Definition of Intimacy?
sthenri
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Posts: 2215
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003

posted October 18, 2004 02:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sthenri     Edit/Delete Message
How do you define intimacy?

Websters says:

A close or warm friendship; "the absence of fences created a mysterious intimacy in which no one knew privacy"

From an article on Sex Roles:

Psychological intimacy was defined as the sense that one could be open and honest in talking with a partner about personal thoughts and feelings not usually expressed in other relationships. Factors that had a significant role in shaping the quality of psychological intimacy in the last 5 to 10 years of these relationships (recent years) were the absence of ma]or conflict, a confrontive conflict management style between partners, a sense of fairness about the relationship, and the expression of physical affection between partners. Women in same-gender relationships, compared to their heterosexual and gay counterparts, were more likely to report that psychologically intimate communication characterized their relationships. The findings are important for understanding factors that contribute to psychological intimacy in long-term relationships and how the gender roles of partners may shape the quality of psychological intimacy in heterosexual and same-gender relationships.

You can read the article here http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2294/is_2000_August/ai_69015941

Do you see intimacy in your relationships?


Natasha

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astro junkie
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Posts: 4897
From:
Registered: Nov 2003

posted October 18, 2004 03:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for astro junkie     Edit/Delete Message
I know one reason why people can have sex without intimacy, because they belong first and foremost to what they consider a higher authority.

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chrissymgreen
Knowflake

Posts: 43
From: hurst, TX, USA
Registered: Sep 2004

posted October 19, 2004 12:01 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for chrissymgreen     Edit/Delete Message
dear natasha,

"Factors that had a significant role in shaping the quality of psychological intimacy in the last 5 to 10 years of these relationships (recent years) were the absence of major conflict, a confrontive conflict management style between partners, a sense of fairness about the relationship, and the expression of physical affection between partners."

WOW! that's so right-on. i've come to the conclusion that the best relationships (the most intimate & successful) are ones:
-that are affectionate and supportive
-in which communication plays an important part, and each partner is free to say what he/she thinks or feels
-where the couple fights productively

genuine intimacy involves being a bit naked with someone else. it requires self-disclosure. it also means being sensitive to another person and their needs.

we all bring a certain amount of baggage...we're all coming into a relationship from 'a certain place'. i guess we need to know where that place is, what's in that place, in order to avoid negative behavior and thought patterns. you know, relationship sabotage. we need to know ourselves.

these days, i feel a lot more comfortable with myself. i'm more secure. i'm better at self-disclosure. and being in this place, it makes the relationships i have now MUCH more fair, open, honest, loving, energizing, productive. if something happens that bothers me, i speak up about it, but i don't go into some kind of attack mode and start wrecking things because i'm disgruntled. i realize now i actually feel kind of healthy. it's weird! (of course, i still have my moments. ESPECIALLY with my family. god - why is it that our parents and/or siblings have this near perfect ability to bring out the worst in us sometimes? but i digress.)

basically, in a healthy relationship, both partners are always growing and improving. healthy relationships bring out the best in us.

sincerely,
chrissy

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Yin
Knowflake

Posts: 420
From:
Registered: May 2004

posted October 19, 2004 08:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message
AJ, I have a suspicion that you hit something that's been on my mind for a while right on the nose. Can you elaborate a little bit on what you said, please?

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