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Author
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Topic: Do you tell the truth when asked how many?
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sthenri
Moderator Posts: 2385
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003
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posted November 11, 2004 01:35 PM
 
What do you say when your date asks you how many lovers you've had?Do you lie, or do you tell the truth? Natasha
Taurus IP: Logged |
Mama Mia
Knowflake Posts: 147
From: chicago
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted November 11, 2004 01:57 PM
Do they ask these days????? I do not think that anyone has asked me that in a very long time. More so scared of what I might say. Men don't want to know. Women may want to know but men are not going to be truthful about it. That is like the women calling the other women to ask questions, but a man is not going to call the other man he don't need to know and don't want the other man to tell you him has hit it... Its a hard pill to swallow, we should all know fir health reasons though... IP: Logged |
StarLover33
Moderator Posts: 2645
From: King Arthur's Camelot
Registered: Jun 2002
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posted November 11, 2004 02:00 PM
I think that question is a very big don't ask. I don't think anyone should really know, except if health is involved, it's the past, and it should be over and done with.-StarLover IP: Logged |
sthenri
Moderator Posts: 2385
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003
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posted November 11, 2004 02:28 PM
But if you are health concious you will ask,
plus every man I've dated has asked, in one way or another. Don't you think everyone is curious and will want to know eventually?Imagine someone did ask you on a date, what would you say? Lie or tell the truth? If you decline to answer, what do you say if he has to know? Natasha
(obviously I dont' like to answer this question)
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pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 4773
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted November 11, 2004 02:47 PM
My husband doesn't know. He didn't want to. It is a jealousy thing, but I respect it... One time, I was soooo on the verge of telling him my magic number, but he declined..... Fiercely.
We've been together for six and a half years.
I think he has kept a mental tally, just based on things I have said in conversation over the years.. random things.. but he doesn't really know...In conversations with others, I will allude, but not actually come out with it.
I think mystery is part of the charm... I don't want to think about these women.... just as he wouldn't want to think of the men who've explored 'his' territory. IP: Logged |
BlueTopaz124
Knowflake Posts: 88
From: Pacific Northwest
Registered: Jan 2004
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posted November 11, 2004 04:56 PM
It really depends on how much you know the person doing the asking. If I don't know the person well enough, and I have been on first dates with guys who come out and ask the "how many" question. I just come out and say: "I don't know you well enough for the subject of sex to even become part of the conversation and that subject is too personal. If I decide that this level of intimacy is appropriate for me, AND I get to know you better, then we will discuss it". End of subject. I am really touchy about my boundaries with personal information with anyone. IP: Logged |
StarLover33
Moderator Posts: 2645
From: King Arthur's Camelot
Registered: Jun 2002
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posted November 11, 2004 05:29 PM
If you want to know, okay fine, but be aware it might cause hurt feelings.  Moral of the story: Truth hurts.-StarLover IP: Logged |
Aquarian Girl
Knowflake Posts: 203
From: San Francisco, CA
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted November 11, 2004 06:01 PM
I always tell the magic number. I don't judge, I don't want to be judged, I don't like possessive people, so it's a good indicator for me of whether this is someone I want to deal with, what level they're on, etc. I once had a friend who had slept with 50+ men and I mentioned that fact to another friend (they never met and never would meet and it was relevant to the conversation) and the reaction I got from the second friend soured me to her. She ranted at me asking how I could be friends withsuch as person and she's this and that, it's disgusting... well.. her reaction just made me think... oh my god, how could I be friends with YOU? I hate judgement. Hate hate hate!
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lovely*
Knowflake Posts: 261
From: CA
Registered: Jul 2003
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posted November 11, 2004 09:30 PM
i don't know if this question should come up at all. and the reason is, once you are intimate with a man or woman, discussions of previous relationships almost always surface as well as how long the relationships lasted. i can sense whether a man has been unsafe or permiscuous or is the player type. usually trying too hard without *knowing* me is indicative of someone who has had many lovers. that being said, i can count my number on two hands and one foot, and would gladly answer the question without hesitation  IP: Logged |
ladya
Knowflake Posts: 54
From: Los Angeles, CA, USA
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted November 12, 2004 12:28 AM
It depends on the guy. Definitely do not tell a man with too much scorpio in his chart. but recently my cappy man and i had this discussion and we both were truthful with each other. I was fine with it and so was he.Kind of surprised myself as with some bf's i might have gotten jealous or wierd but with him, not so but then he has been completely forthcoming about EVERYTHING. His honesty gives me a feeling of trust and comfort. IP: Logged |
pixelpixie
Knowflake Posts: 4773
From: Ontario, Canada
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted November 12, 2004 12:37 AM
I suppose it also has to do with your own feelings concerning your number.
If you are unhappy with a few experiences, reflecting them in a number would be somewhat shameful.
If your number is on the low-side, you can be chaste and afford to tell the truth with out much consequence.IP: Logged |
LibraSparkle
Moderator Posts: 3572
From: Vancouver USA
Registered: May 2004
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posted November 12, 2004 12:37 AM
Yes, I do.Usually, people only ask how many guys I've been with, so... I tell them how many guys I've been with.  I'm really not a hugely private person. There are very few subjects that are taboo to me. IP: Logged |
lovely*
Knowflake Posts: 261
From: CA
Registered: Jul 2003
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posted November 12, 2004 01:31 AM
oooohhh i see libra...  you only share how many guys...hmmmmm. not many subjects are taboo you say?
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ladya
Knowflake Posts: 54
From: Los Angeles, CA, USA
Registered: Aug 2004
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posted November 12, 2004 03:10 AM
what constitues not many? and how many are too much? just curious.
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lalalinda
Moderator Posts: 951
From: nevada
Registered: Feb 2004
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posted November 12, 2004 03:56 AM
Are you serious? people ask that?
If "your my first" doesn't work (like if you have 6 kids) then try singing "like a virgin" if that still doesn't work, then ask them if they want you to count the ones that were for money.  Hope they have a good sense of humor. And what ever you do, don't tell. Its a slightly immature person that will ask that and it will drive them crazy with self doubt and ultimately cause problems. Some things are better left unsaid. Next they'll want to know who was better. Love doesn't mean sharing EVERYTHING. Its called feminine mystique. What will you do if you've had more and they feel the need to catch up or feel inadaquate? Its a problem you don't need.If the relationship gets serious and the question is for health reasons, you should always get tested, preferably together. Even good, careful, people can get sick. This is not something you want to take someones word for it could even be you. It will make intimacy better. IP: Logged |
miss_muffet
Knowflake Posts: 213
From:
Registered: Mar 2004
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posted November 12, 2004 06:22 AM
I will tell...If he ask, he better be sure he can handle the answer. If he can't, tough. If it puts a dent in a relationship - the relationship might not be worth it afterall. I always ask because 1. I am naturally curious. 2. I am health conscious. If the person does not tell me... I will still know (maybe not the exact number). The answer really doesn't matter, what matters most to me is that he is comfortable enough with me to be honest and truthful. These are the traits I am really looking for when I ask. Miss Muffet IP: Logged |
sthenri
Moderator Posts: 2385
From: Montreal, Canada
Registered: May 2003
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posted November 12, 2004 08:33 AM
Thanks Knowflakes, I really appreciate this. I was thrown when asked recently.Do not tell Scorpio men that's for sure! Or even strong scorpio. My ex has three planets in Scorpio, and well, let's just say every day for 8 years, I heard about every single man I knew, he even wanted photos, did a background check on one. Scorpio! This time, I lied. On the spur of the moment. Now I feel guilty. He said 10, I said 10 too, of course that sounded like a lie, so that way I was saying that's the best I can do right now, give me some time to calculate. Now he thinks I am god's gift and wants to learn from me I think. That kind of attitude makes me uncomfortable as I am still uncomfortable with the lie. To me intimacy is complete honesty, looking into my heart and being transparent. But I have found even with my ex, I couldn't do that, although he was totally honest with me how many-32, and I accepted it. He loved me for it, and I know I was the only woman he ever loved, but it hurt I didn't get it back. Natasha
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astro junkie
Moderator Posts: 5443
From:
Registered: Nov 2003
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posted November 12, 2004 10:03 AM
NO !!IP: Logged |
miss_apples
Knowflake Posts: 127
From: white bear lake, MN, USA
Registered: Oct 2004
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posted November 12, 2004 11:43 AM
Yes I tell the truth. IP: Logged |
ghanima81
Knowflake Posts: 427
From: Portsmouth,UK
Registered: Aug 2003
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posted November 12, 2004 08:05 PM
Hmmmm...Vewy intewesting question... I never had told anyone the (as Pixie has called it) 'magic number' until recently. I would have to agree that it depends on the person, and what type of relationship you have with them. I don't even know if my best friend (Gemini sun/cancer moon) knows my actual number...probably, but we laugh continuously about our past 'conquests'... almost to the point of peeing ourselves. Just like ''OMG!!! Did we really *do* that??? How sad were we???'' Ah, hindsight....always 20/20!! Love and light,
Ghani IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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